Twentieth Century Culture and Deportment / Or the Lady and Gentleman at Home and Abroad; Containing Rules of Etiquette for All Occasions, Including Calls; Invitations; Parties; Weddings; Receptions; Dinners and Teas; Etiquette of the Street; Public Places, Etc., Etc. Forming a Complete Guide to Self-Culture; the Art of Dressing Well; Conversation; Courtship; Etiquette for Children; Letter-Writing; Artistic Home and Interior Decorations, Etc.

by Maud C. Cooke

Invitations.

Invitations for an elaborate evening party are sent out ten days or two weeks in advance and are issued in the name of the hostess alone. Husband and wife may be invited together, addressing the envelope to “Mr. and Mrs. John Doe;” and daughters, if there are several, may be included in one invitation as “The Misses Doe.” Sons, if there be more than one, receive separate invitations, though they can be included in one as “Messrs. Doe.” But friends, even though sheltered by the same rooftree, must receive separate invitations. To invite “The Misses Doe and Roe,” or “Messrs. Brown and Green,” or even “Mrs. Doe and Family,” would be in bad form. To invite the husband to any entertainment where there are ladies without including the wife would be a direct insult. Invitations may be sent by post or carried by messengers. (For forms see Department of “Invitations, Formal and Informal.”)

Society is so complex, and there is so much ground to cover in picking up its relations that many ladies are tempted to pay off all social debts at once by giving one great crush of an entertainment and inviting all those to whom they are socially indebted. To all these one is tempted to say, “Don’t.” The labor is less and the pleasure greater where two or more smaller entertainments are given at different times.

A hostess is at liberty to invite only those to whom she is socially indebted, and members of a large social circle from whom she has not received recent hospitalities must not feel hurt at being left out. Where the family is large she may invite some members and not others, but should she courteously invite the entire group, it is a rule of society that never more than three members of the same family should accept an invitation to the same entertainment. Either accept or decline such invitations at once. (For proper forms see department of “Acceptances and Regrets.”)