The Cruise of the Midge (Vol. 1 of 2)

by Michael Scott

CHAPTER X.

DICKY PHANTOM—YARN SPINNING.

When I awoke next morning, the first thing I did was to reconnoitre how our little and most unexpected visitor held out. There lay the fair child, steeped in a balmy slumber, with his downy cheeks as peachlike and blooming as ever; even his hair, with the crystallized salt sparkling amongst it, once more curled thick and clustering round his magnificent forehead.

"Art them a thing of mortal birth,
Whose happy home is on our earth?
Does human blood with life embue
Those wandering veins of heavenly blue,
That stray along thy forehead fair,
Lost 'mid a gleam of golden hair?
Oh, can that light and airy breath
Steal from a being doomed to death;
Those features to the grave be sent,
In sleep thus mutely eloquent?
Or art thou what thy form would seem,
The phantom of a blessed dream?"

As I stooped over him he awoke, and stretched out his arms in the evident expectation of clasping some one that he had been accustomed to lie beside; alas! they touched the cold hard ship's side. He grew startled, and called on his mother and then on his father, on his grandfather, and his dear aunt Emily, waiting between each exclamation for the wonted caress or answer. His eye caught mine—he looked surprised, and peered anxiously all about the cabin, until at last, as if he really had comprehended the full extent of his desolation, he began to cry bitterly, and to sob as if his little heart would have burst. Lennox and I did every thing in our power to pacify him; but who could come in stead to him of those whose hearts were now cold for ever? I could not stand it, and went on deck, leaving him in the hands of the steward.

The weather was now clear, and the sea had gone down; the frigate was about a mile and a half on our lee-bow, carrying all sail, so that we had to crack on to keep up with her. During that forenoon and the following day we had no communication together; but about 11 A.M. on the third day after the ship had foundered, we got so well placed on her quarter as to be able to communicate without trumpets.

The commodore hailed first—"Sad accident that t'other day, Mr Lanyard."

"Very, sir."

"All hands lost, I presume?"

Before Dick could answer, he continued, evidently in great amazement, "What child is that, Mr Brail?" I looked round, and was a good deal surprised to see the figure the little stranger now cut. When picked up he had nothing on but his little frock and shift, which had been torn in the getting of him in; so Lennox and the sailmaker had rigged him in a tiny check-frock, with white lappels, a pair of little duck trowsers, with large horn buttons; very wide at the feet, and very tight at the waist—cut in the very extreme of nautical dandyism; little white canvass shoes, and a small tarpauling hat. They had even hung by a piece of spunyarn a small horn-handled clasp-knife round his neck, so that he was a complete topman in miniature.

Childlike, for he could not have been three years old at the most, he had already taken to the men, and was playing with the pet lamb, that was making believe to buck him with its head; and indeed every now and then it would knock over the little fellow, but without hurting him, and roll about with him on the deck.

"What child is that? And I see you have some live stock—where got you the sheep?"

"The child was picked up, lashed to the lamb, Sir Oliver, when the ship went down."

"Come on board, and dine with me at three, Mr Brail—you can tell me all about it then—come also, Mr Lanyard, and bring the picaniny with you."

We sheered off again; and it was laughable to notice the crowd of heads out of the frigate's ports the instant the little fellow was noticed on our decks. Immediately after this a group of men were sitting in the bows of the felucca with the child amongst them. Lennox came up to me and touched his forehead—"The little fellow told me his name was William Howard, sir; probably you would like to set it down as a clew to find out his friends when we get to England."

"A very proper precaution, Lennox, and well thought of; but are you sure that was the name the child answered to."

"Quite, sir; if you will step here, sir, you will be satisfied of it." I followed him a pace or two nearer the group playing with the child.

"Dogvane," said Lennox—the man answered; "Wilcox," another seaman pricked up his ears, both a good deal surprised at the steward's address, with me at his back—but all this time the boy was tumbling about amongst the men, taking no notice either of Lennox or me.

"William Howard," said Lennox. "What you want?" promptly said the child, as he knocked off from his play, and looked steadfastly at the marine.

"A good and satisfactory proof," said I; "I will make a note of it, Lennox."

Lanyard and I, some time after this, were walking backwards and forwards on the small quarterdeck, talking of I don't remember what, when we perceived a stir amongst the men forward, and an attempt evidently making amongst them to shove old Dogvane aft with some communication to the captain. He appeared reluctant to be thrust forward as spokesman, and waxed very emphatic in his gestures to the group, who were all talking at the same time, and laughing with each other, as they closed round the old quartermaster.

"Come, there is more rain than wind in that squall," said I to Donovan, looking towards the group. "What request, think you, is to be made now, Dennis?"

"Can't conjecture for the life of me," said he.

Dogvane now took a fresh quid, by way of gaining courage, I suppose, to enter on his embassy; and advancing a step from the rest, he cast his eyes on the deck, and began to thump one hand on another, and to mutter with his lips, as if he had been rehearsing a speech. Presently, giving his trowsers a hitch, and his quid a cruel chirt, he looked towards us, in act to advance, as it were, but his heart again failed him; so with another pull at his waistband, and a tremendous chew of his quid, which made the tobacco juice squirt from both corners of his mouth, he hove about again, apparently in despair and discomfiture, and joined the others, who instantly set up a loud laugh.

Lennox, I saw, had now slid round to the men, and with a most quizzical cast of his eye, was using his powers of persuasion with old Dogvane, to get him to weigh anchor, and set forth on his mission again; but the quartermaster shook his head, and seemed to refuse point-blank. At length, after a great deal of bother, the steward appeared to have screwed his courage to the sticking place, for he now advanced to within a couple of yards of where we stood—the group behind creeping up after him. He kept rubbing the back of his hand across his muzzle, and coughing and clearing his voice, and every now and then he took a squint over his shoulder, to see, in case his memory should fail him, that he was in immediate communication with his reserve. After another stiff mastication, and a devil of a hitch, he smoothed down his forelock, tore his hat off his head, as if it had been a divot, as Lennox might have said, and then broke ground to the following purport—

"You sees, your honour, and Mr Donovan, there—gentlemen both"—A considerable pause, during which he seemed awfully puzzled.

"I am gravelled already, Lennox," quoth he, over his shoulder.

"No, no," said Lennox, "try again, man, try again."

"May it please you, sir—it has blowed half a gale of wind some two days agone, as mayhap your honour knows"——

Lanyard could not help smiling for the soul of him. "Why, Dogvane, I have reason good to know that; but what would you be after? Come to the point, man."

"And so I would, captain, if I only knowed how to get there—I fear the point he speaks of lies in the wind's eye, and that I shan't fetch it" (aside to Lennox)—"but, as I says before, your honour, we had a sniffler some two days agone, and the parrot, Wapping Poll, your honour, why she was blown overboard, your honour; and as a parrot is not of the gull specie your honour, I fears as how poor Poll may have been drowned."

I could scarcely keep my gravity.

"Why, assume that the bird is drowned then, Dogvane, and get on."

"No, sir, with all submission, I have no sartainty of that. A bird that can speak, must think; and it's no impossibility, in my mind, in Poll being at this moment cruising as mate of the watch on the back of a wild-duck—but then a duck does dive now and then, to be sure."—I now suspected he had strengthened his nerves a little with a glass of grog.—"However, Poll might take a flight to air her pinions lest they should mildew, during the time the other was below, you know, sir—if she only knowed where he might rise again. Still a gull would be her chance as for that—no diving in a gull, your honour."

"But my good man"—the lieutenant, I saw, was not over well pleased to perceive that the old fellow was a sheet or so in the wind, and still less with the freedom of the jest, if jest it was meant for—"will you, I again ask you, come to the point, Dogvane—what would you be at? I can't stand all day palavering here, unless you know your own mind," and he turned away.

His rebuke seemed to rouse Dogvane, who now making a sudden effort, sung out quick and sharp—"Then the parrot's overboard and drowned, sir.—And the monkey is drowned too, sir, and the old cat is dead below with the damp and cold; and we shall all be starved for want of a pet, sir." Here he slewed his head backwards. "D—n your eyes, Jack Lennox, will that serve your turn, now?"

"Oh, I see, I see," said Lanyard.

"There," said Dogvane, giving a skip, and turning a joyful countenance over his shoulder to the group behind him—"There, his honour sees—did not I tell you so?—why, I thank your honour—we all thanks you kindly, sir; and such care as we shall take of him—oh, my eye! But all I says is, thank your honour again in the name of the whole bunch of us." He made his salaam, and he and his tail turned to bundle forward.

"I guess I know now what you would be at, Dogvane," said the lieutenant. On this the old quartermaster came to the wind again, his face evincing great chagrin and vexation at the idea generated by Lanyard's manner, that after all his lucid explanation, his captain might still be unenlightened. "I presume that having lost all your pets"——

"Ah yes, sir,—that's it."

"That having lost all your pets, you want to ask me for the sheep that you have picked up."

"No, no, no,"—ran amongst the men; and old Dogvane slid out with a jet of tobacco juice—"D—n the sheep entirely—beg your honour's pardon—but, Jack Lennox, there, take my oar now, will ye—I can make nothing of it—I can't pull a-head at all—it has been all back water with me;" and so saying he made his obeisance, and slunk away amongst the people, slewing his head from side to side, and smiting his thigh, as if he were saying—"Poo, poo, you see the captain won't understand, do as you will—indeed, he does not want to understand, you see."

The marine, on the retreat of the quartermaster, now came forward as a reserve, and in good set terms, leaving his northern accent out of the account, preferred a request on behalf of his shipmates, not for the sheep, but in the destruction of all the other pet creatures during the gale, he made out a strong case, which could only be met by your giving up the child; which, as a sweetener, I presume, he promised should succeed the defunct monkey, Dicky Phantom, in all his honours and perquisites; and "although we all know his name to be Will Howard," said he, in conclusion, "we request your permission, sir, to christen him afresh, and to give him the name Dicky sailed under, as an earnest of future kindness to himself, and a tribute of respect to the poor brute, who has hitherto afforded us so much amusement."

I was a good deal tickled at all this.

"But, men, you all heard Sir Oliver desire the child to be sent on board the frigate," said Lanyard.

Here several voices grumbled—"Why they have two monkeys on board, and a kangaroo, and a hog in armour; and—oh, surely, they won't grab him too!"

"Why, sir, we must leave it to you," said Lennox; "if the commodore is in earnest in taking Dicky Phantom from us—surely he will spare us one of the monkeys. But I am sure no one will take such care of him in the frigate, as I should here, sir."

"Very well," said Dick, good-naturedly, "I will see what can be done; in the mean time, get the child ready to accompany me in the boat when I go on board to dinner. But where are his clothes?—you can't send him in that rig?"

The marine laughed. "Why, sir, his own clothes are all torn in pieces, and he has no others made; indeed, our sail-maker says he could no more make a petticoat than a gown for the Pope, sir."

There was no help for it; and at half-past two, Donovan, Lanyard, and I found ourselves in the stern sheets of the small boat, with Dicky Phantom sitting beside us, dressed out like a Lilliputian boarder. As we pulled on board, I had time to look more minutely at the equipment of the boy. As already mentioned, he was dressed in trowsers, check shirt, and little tarpauling hat, with the word Midge painted in large letters on a scroll on the front of it; but they had now added a little cutlass, ground down from a piece of iron hoop, and bound round his waist by a black belt; and as a tiptop finish to his equipment, they had fastened an oakum queue to his curly wig, that hung down over the waistband of his little breeches. Dick's natural bashfulness was sorely tested when we got alongside, and found the ship swarming in all directions with busy grinning faces, wherever they could get a squint at us and our little passenger; and when I stepped on deck, I had not the courage to take the child up, but left him in the boat.

"How are you, Mr Brail?—glad to see you, Mr Lanyard—Mr Donovan, I hope you are better," said Sir Oliver. We made our acknowledgments. "Where is your little passenger, Mr Lanyard. Have you brought him on board?"

"Why, yes, Sir Oliver, he is in the boat alongside, but the people have so monkeyfied him, that he is scarcely presentable on the quarterdeck."

"Never mind, hand him up—hand him up—let us see him." And poor little Dicky Phantom was straightway transferred from the stern-sheets of the boat to the frigate's deck, amidst a buzz of laughter from officers and men.

The poor child was frightened, and ran crying to me, when Sir Oliver, with his innate right feeling and kindliness of heart, asked me to bring him down into the cabin, which I did, where the little fellow soon became quite at home, and began to amuse himself with some books of plates, and little Chinese figures that the commodore took out of a locker for his entertainment.

I related the particulars of my interview with his parents and kinsfolk on board the ship, which moved the kind old man exceedingly; but dinner was now announced, and Dicky was handed over to Lennox, who had come on board in the novel capacity of dry-nurse. I could see the whole crew clustered on the main-deck, in expectation of his coming out of the cabin; and the moment he made his appearance,—"Lennox, pass him forward."—"I say, Jack, Jack Lennox, lend him to me, man."—"Oh! d—n my eyes, man, do give us a spell of the piccaniny."—"No, no—hand him to me first—here to me, man—I bespoke him, Jack, before Bill, there," resounded on all hands; and the two monkeys and hog in armour were as dust in the balance compared with Dicky Phantom. We sat down to dinner. Mr Lanyard, and old Sprawl, along with one of the mates, were present, and every thing went on very much as usual.

"We must endeavour," said Sir Oliver, "to find out that poor little fellow's family and relations when we get to England; but what are we to do with him until we get there?"

I cheerfully offered to take care of him on board the Midge.

"You are very good, Mr Brail—but in so small a hooker it would be inconvenient, so I shall make shift the best way I can here."

Lanyard laughed, and said, "That next to a round-robin had been signed by the Midges, petitioning you would let them have the boy for the cruise, sir, in consequence of their having lost the ship's monkey and parrot." I noticed Sir Oliver's servant prick up his ears at this; and that same evening, before we got away from Gazelle, a deputation waited on Sprawl to offer both monkeys and the kangaroo, and the hog in armour, to the Midges, in fee simple, in exchange for Dicky Phantom. The commodore had recovered his looks and spirits greatly since I last saw him, and in the course of the evening gave us some of his old stories, more than one of which I had certainly heard before. They were chiefly relating to the countries on the borders of the Mediterranean, and the following tickled me a good deal at the time:—

Sir Oliver had been one of old Sir J. D——'s lieutenants on that station, and it was his watch on deck on a certain forenoon—"a fine fresh breezy day, clear and sunshiny, and the old T—— was cracking along on the starboard tack, with the island of Malta broad on the lee bow, ten miles distant, or thereabouts. She was going nine knots, as near as could be, and the admiral was walking backwards and forwards with me on the weather-side of the quarterdeck. It happened that the captain's servant was an inveterate stutterer, although a steady good man, and we had not continued our perambulations above a quarter of an hour, when this functionary rushed up the ladder in a deuced quandary, and thus addressed, or rather attempted to address the admiral:—

"'Sir—sir—sir—Jo—Jo—Jo'——

"'What does he mean?' said the admiral, startled by the energy of the man's gestures.

"'Your pi—pi—pig. Your wi—wi—wig, over—over—over'——

"Here the poor fellow got into convulsions, and walloped his arms about like the sails of a wind-mill, making signs that some body or thing was overboard. The captain coming on deck at the moment, saw what was going on—'Sing, you lubber, sing,' and straightway he of the impediment gave tongue in a clear and melodious pipe, as follows:—

"'The admiral's pig is overboard, is overboard, is overboard,
His pig and his wig are overboard,
Heave-to, or they'll both be drown'd.'

"'Man the fore-clew garnets,' sung out old Blowhard—'back the main-topsail, Captain R——, back the main-topsail—lower away the jolly-boat. Quick, Captain R——, quick.'

"Here the old flag-officer's own servant came up to him, as he was straining his neck where he stood on the aftermost carronade, to see, over the hammock-cloths, what was becoming of the pig and the unfortunate scratch.

"'There, there they are—both are astern,' he sung out. 'There's my poor wig bobbing at me.' (The origin of bob wig?) 'It will choke some dolphin, or I am a Dutchman, before evening. And the pig, oh, my poor pig!'

"'Please you, Sir J——,' chimed in the functionary, 'it is a false alarm. That stuttering blockhead has made a mistake; it is the master's wig, Sir J——, and the porker belongs to the ward-room.'

"'Fill the maintopsail again,' rapped out the knight. 'Poor pig—poor pig—can't be helped—can't be helped—pity the master should lose his scratch though, but it can't be helped, Captain R——, can't be helped. So fill away the maintopsail again, Captain R——.'

"Alas and alackaday, both the pig and the wig were drowned!"

Mr Donovan being now well enough to resume his duty, remained that evening in the frigate, but Lanyard and I returned, towards nightfall, with my tiny topman, to the felucca, and great was the buzz of joy amongst the Midges at getting back Dicky Phantom.

We were sitting at breakfast on deck under the awning, next morning, Donovan having returned for his traps, and the frigate's boat was towing astern—Dicky Phantom was part and portion of our society—the carpenter having already got a little chair so contrived, that when lashed to the leg of the table, he could not fall out of it.

The frigate was about a mile to the northward of us, looming like a seventy-four, as she glimmered through the hot blue haze that hung over the horizon, and circumscribed our view on all sides, for it was stark calm. The sun shone down with true tropical intensity; the heaving swell was like a sea of molten silver, and every now and then a dolphin would leap close to us, while, as from the side of a watery hill, a shower of flying-fish would spring out and shoot across a liquid valley, until they dropped like a discharge of grape into the next billow.

Nothing nourishes one's grog-drinking propensities, or spoils one's beauty so much, as the reflection of the sun from the glass-like surface of the calm sea within the tropics. His direct rays are in some measure warded off by your hat-brim; but were you even to turn up your ugly phiz at him, and stare him in the face, they would have comparatively no effect, to the fierceness of their heat second-hand in this way. Oh, the sickening effect of the afternoon's glare, thus reflected, and flashed up into your face, under the snout of your chapeau, which here, like a battery taken in reverse, proves no defence, until your eyes are blinded, and your cheeks routed and roasted, and your neb peeled, like an ill-scraped radish, leaving the underskin so tender, that breaking on the wheel is comfort to blowing your nose. Cold cream—cold cream! Oh, for a pot of it, ye gods!

I have before said, we were not, where we sat, much above four feet out of the water, and several flying-fish had come on board that morning; so just as I was helping Dicky to a little water, to wash down the soaked biscuit that, through Lennox's kindness, he had been feeding on, dash—a very large one flew right againt Dennis Donovan's cheek, and dropped walloping and floundering into his plate.

"Blazes, what is that?"

"Oh, what a beautiful leetle fis!" said the child.

But Dennis, honest man, did not recover his equanimity during the whole meal.

Immediately after breakfast, as he was preparing to go on board of the Gazelle, and to part company regularly, one of the men, who was looking out astern, sung out in a low tone, as if afraid the fish should hear, "A shark, sir, close under the stern." We gently hauled the frigate's boat alongside, to be out of the way, and, on looking over the tafferel, there was the monster, sure enough, about three feet below the surface of the clear green water, eyeing us with the greatest composure.

As if noways daunted, but rather determined to have a nearer and better view of us, he gradually floated up, until his dorsal fin was a foot out of the water, and his head but just covered by it. We instantly got a hook baited, and let down. The fish was about twelve feet long; and, as I leant over the low stern of the vessel, when she sank on the fall of the swell, I could have touched the monster's head with a handspike. There was something very exciting in being on terms of such intimacy with a creature who would have thought it capital sport to have nipped you in two.

He eyed the bait and the hook, and then drew back about a yard from it, and ogled me again, as much as to say,—"Not to be had so clumsily, Master Brail; but if you would oblige me with one of your legs, now, or even an arm, I would vastly prefer it to the piece of rancid salt pork you offer me on that rusty piece of crooked iron there."

Here again he reconnoitred the bait, and walloped about all round it, as if laughing at us, and saying to himself,—"No go, my boys." He then looked up with a languishing eye at little Dicky Phantom, whom Lennox was now holding on the tafferel. "Ah," again said sharkee to himself, I make no question, "ah, that's the thing I want. What a morsel that would be!" and he made several rushes hither and thither, as one has seen a dog do, before settling down steadily on end, to look up at the morsel an urchin is tantalizing him with.

At length, seeing I was so unaccommodating and inexorable as not even to oblige him with a limb, and that Dicky Phantom was altogether forbidden fruit, he made an angry dart, and vanished below the counter.

"Poo, confound him, he can't be hungry," quoth Mr Weevil the purser, as he hauled in the line, hand over hand, until the bait was close under foot; when, just as it was rising out of the water, the shark, finding that it must be either salt junk or no fare, made a sudden grab at the bait, gorged it—dashed off with it, and, alack-a-daisy, with the purser also. Dreaming no harm, he had for a moment taken a turn of the line round his left arm as he hauled in, which, by the sudden jerk, ran; and if Lennox and old Drainings had not caught him by the heels, he would have been fairly overboard. The fun now grew fast and furious, for there was the hideous fish, walloping and floundering, and surging about, within a fathom of the purser, who was hanging over the stern, like a side of beef laid in, at sailing, for sea stock; his head dip-dipping into the water every now and then, as the vessel rose and fell, while he struggled, and spluttered, and twisted, in a vain attempt to get his arm loose; the shark all the time back, backing like a restive horse, and dragging and jerking about until I thought the purser's fin would absolutely have been torn from his shoulder.

All this time the crew were like to explode with laughter, while poor Weevil roared lustily,—"Haul me in, for Heaven's sake, my good men, or he will swallow me—haul"——Here his head would sink into the water, and the sentence end in a great coughing and spluttering, until, just as he was on the point of being suffocated, out his nob would be dragged again by the pitching of the vessel, so as to enable him to renew his shouts for succour. At length the shark, being a good deal exhausted, was brought close under the stern, when I sent two bullets, from my double-barrelled Manton, through his head, right between his eyes.

"Ah," quoth old Drainings the cook, "that has settled him, or the devil is in it; so lend a hand, Lennox,"—(the marine had hold of one of the purser's legs, and the artiste! the other)—"so lend a hand, Lennox, and, during the lull, let us bouse in Mr Weevil. Ho, yo, yo, yo, oh!"

The wounded shark had borne the loss of his brains with great composure, but the instant he felt the renewed drag at the pork in his maw, as if he had been only stunned, he started off at a tangent as strong as ever; and before you could say Jack Robinson, the pursuer's starboard leg was whipped out of Jack Lennox's clutches; but the one to port being in old Drainings' iron claws, was held like grim death, for he was a great ally of Weevil's.

"Don't for Heaven's sake, let me go, Mr Drainings," roared Weevil, as if cookey had been his last shroud, "don't,"—splutter, splutter—"oh,"—cough, cough. The little vessel at this moment sended heavily, giving a strange sort of swinging lurch or wallop, as if shaking her sides with laughter, and again dipped his head a foot under water.

As the unfortunate piscator rose this time with a jerk to the surface, the shark, having had momentary scope to sink, kept his own so resolutely, that clip, as a climax to the fun, the old cook himself was torn from his hold, and away he went next, still clinging to the purser's leg, however, so that if his own had not been seized by Lennox and myself, he would have been overboard also. I was now like to die with laughter. I could scarcely keep my hold; as for speaking, it was out of the question, for the shark, and purser, and cook, like a string of Brobdingnag sausages, were floundering in the calm water, close under our counter, all linked together, not quite "ladies' chain," by the way, although, from the half-suffocated exclamations of two of the links, it might not inaptly have been called, "Chaine des Dames." Oh, fie! Benjie Brail. However, the matter was now getting serious.

"Mr Peak, that boathook there—quick, bring the boathook."—Little Joe was no admirer of Weevil's, and, as he made believe to hook him by the waistband of the breeches, as he struggled in the water, he contrived to dig the sharp point of the instrument into his stern-frame more than once; and at length when he did catch him, it was by nothing that would hold, but by one of the pockets of his coat, which instantly gave, and out flew into the water his snuff-box, pocket-handkerchief, and a nondescript pouch of sealskin, rolled up.

"Lord save us! dinna drown the spleuchan," exclaimed Lennox, as it dropped into the sea.

"Hook him again," shouted Lanyard.

"Oh, Lord! captain, haul me in, haul me in, or I must let go Mr Weevil's leg," sung out cookey.

"Don't, for Heaven's sake, do that thing, my dear Mr Drainings," roared the purser. Here Joey caught him again with the boathook, by the cape of his coat; and, with the assistance of two men, he had got him a foot or two out of the water, when screed,—the cloth, which was of no kindred to that which composed Bailie Jarvie's skirts,—gave way, and down he plumped again souse, and the splashing and struggling, and cursing and coughing, and blowing of fish and men, were renewed with twofold extravagance, until by a fortunate dig the iron hook was finally passed through the head-band of his nether garment, and the canvass fortunately holding, we hauled him in, with Drainings still sticking to him like grim Death, or a big sucker-fish. It was a pity that such a delightful party should be separated, so by slipping down a bowling knot over the shark's head, and under his gills, we hoisted him also in on deck, which he soon had all to himself entirely; I really expected he would have stove it in with the lashing of his tail. We hammered him on the head until we had crushed it to mummy; but, like many other strange fish, he appeared to get on as well without brains as with. In fine, he would have taken the ship from us out and out, had not old Shavings watched his opportunity, and nicked him on the tail with his hatchet, thereby severing his spine, when a complete paralysis instantly took place, and he lay still; but even an hour after he was disembowelled, he writhed about the deck like an eel.

Speaking of sharks, I must taigle you here with another story, which, however lee-like, did actually occur, as the records of the Jamaica Admiralty Court fully prove. But let Dennis Donovan tell it in his own words.

"We were cruising off Cape Tiburoon, to take our chance of any of the French outward-bound that might have preferred to make the passage to Port-au-Prince by the southward of St Domingo. It might have been five in the afternoon,—I was a little middy then, and had dined with the captain that day; a fine fresh forenoon we had had of it,—but the devil a thing was there in sight, not even a small white speck of a sail slipping along shore apparently sailing in the white surf, and standing off full and boldly, as the painters say, from the dark background of bushes fringing the white beach."

"But why take the pains to describe so well what was not there, Dennis?"

"Never you mind, but let me get along; you can pocket the description, Benjie, and keep it for your own use.

"I had just swallowed what I had sense enough to know was considered as my last glass of wine, and had come on deck, when, looking out to leeward, where the setting sun was casting a blinding wake on the blue waters that blazed up in our faces, roasting our skin into the colour of scarlet, I thought I saw a dark object on the very verge of the horizon. From the afternoon having come on thick, this had not been noticed before; but just as I had made the discovery, the lookout man at the masthead hailed, 'a strange sail, abeam of us to leeward.'

"'Thank you for nothing,' responded the crusty lieutenant; 'you blind beetle you, is it now you see it? Why, we can see under her topsails from the deck here.'

"'May be, sir,' answered the man, 'but the weather has been thick as buttermilk down to leeward until this moment.'

"'All hands make sail,' instantly followed, and in five minutes we ran off the wind, with every rag set that we could spread. A stern chase is proverbially a long chase, and although our friend a-head set nothing as we neared him that he had not abroad before, the next morning broke, and we were still three miles astern of him: Jamaica being in sight to leeward. As the sun rose, the breeze freshened, and before noon we had to hand the royals, and stand by the studding-sail haulyards. The fiery sea-breeze that struck us, presently quelled the courage of the chase, for he had to take in his kites also, with the loss of his foretopmast-studding-sail; and as we carried the breeze down with us, we were presently alongside, and I was sent on board in the boat.

"I touched my hat to the master, 'What brig, if you please?'

"'The Stormy Peterel, of, and from St John's, New Brunswick.'

"'Whither bound?'

"'To Kingston, Jamaica, with a cargo of flour and notions, consigned to Macaa, Walker, and Co.'

"All very pat, thought I—no hesitation here. 'I will look at your papers, if you please,' and I unceremoniously stepped down the companion ladder, and entered the cabin. The master of the brig followed me, entering with a good deal of swagger in his bearing, and slammed himself down on the locker with his hat on. I was a little nettled at this, and again took a steady look at my gentleman; but to make evident the cause why my suspicions were excited, be it known, that at the time I write of, the old navigation laws were in full operation; and no American, or other foreign vessel, was allowed to trade with our colonies; every thing imported having to be carried in British bottoms; so that numberless tricks were frequently put in practice by neutrals when the colonial markets were favourable, to cloak the real character of their vessels,—amongst others, that of simulating English papers was very frequent. To return, I looked at our friend again. He was tall, sallow, and Yankee-looking in hull, spars, and rig, and his accent smelt of peach brandy—strong of the Chesapeake. He was dressed in faded nankeen trowsers, rusty black coat and waiscoat, all very threadbare, the coat sleeves scarcely reaching below the elbows. He wore a broad-brimmed white hat, with a rumpled and spray-washed black or rather brown crape twisted round it, but no neckcloth, his shirt collar, which was cut very high, being open in front, disclosing his long scraggy red neck, with a lump in his throat as if he had swallowed a grape shot, that had stuck half way down. His large ill-washed frill was also open, showing his sunburnt chest, covered with a fell of shaggy red hair, as thick as a fox-cover, and his face was burned red by exposure to the sun, the skin peeling off in small pieces like the film of an egg, here and there. His features were very strongly marked and coarse, one side of his mouth drooping more than the other, from which he kept swabbing the stream of tobacco juice with the back of his hand. He had little fierce grey eyes, the white being much bloodshot, and his nose was long and sharp, as near as might be of the shape and colour of a crab's claw, with a blue peeled point. But the most curious part of the animal was the upperworks—the forehead being very broad immediately above his eyes, which were shaded by enormous shaggy sandy-white eyebrows, like pig's bristles, it then tapered away into a cone at the crown of his head, like the hat in vogue amongst the Roundheads in old Noll's time. His red whiskers grew in two tufts low down on his jowls and all under his chin, and he kept spitting most abominably, and twitching the right cheek, and quivering the right eyelid, while he looked at you, in a nervous, and to me exceedingly disagreeable manner. He had, in fine, nothing of the sailor whatever in his appearance—being more like a half-pay Methodist parson.

"'There be my papers, sir,' said this enticing person, tossing down a parcel of by no means dirty manuscripts. The register especially, as well as the manifest, seemed surprisingly clean, and the former, instead of being carefully enclosed in a tin box, as customary in merchant vessels, was wrapped up in brown paper. I opened the manifest, and glanced at a bundle of copies of bills of lading, called ship's blanks. The cargo answered his description, and the bills of lading seemed to correspond with the manifest. I then lifted the register, and by it perceived that the vessel purported to be two years old, yet the document, in place of being torn and chafed at the foldings, and dirty, greasy, and defaced, was quite sound.—When I opened it, after unfolding the brown paper in which it was wrapped, and threw it on the table, it absolutely and truly opened of itself, and lay flat on the table, as if unused to the rumples and creases—to the no small surprise of Jonathan himself I could perceive—thus seeming to say, 'Take a look at me, Master Donovan, I am worth the perusal, perhaps.'—'Ha, ha,' thought I, 'my fine fellow, the creases in that register are very fresh, I guess—it has not been quite two years folded, or I never saw the Liffey;' but I said never a word aloud, to the apparent great comfort of the skipper, who, I could see, sat on thorns, while I was overhauling the papers—for, thinks I, if he sees into me, he will haul his wind, and not come to an entry at Kingston at all, and on the high seas I cannot touch him; but then, again, as the devil would have it, were we even to decoy him into port, another man-of-war may nab him before us. My game, said I to myself, is to lull his suspicions as well as I can; and having done so, I returned to the frigate, and we ran down to Port Royal very lovingly together.

"They had caught a shark during my absence, and found a tin case, loaded with a dozen musket balls, with a ship's manifest and register in it, in his maw. I lost no time in repairing to the cabin, and communicating to the captain my suspicions that the brig was an American, sailing under false papers; recommending that the frigate should stick close and seize him whenever he had passed the Rubicon by reporting at the fort at Port Royal. He agreed to all my suggestions; and after determining that I was to board and seize the vessel before others could have an opportunity of doing so, ordered in dinner, and laughing, threw the bright white iron case to me that had been cut out of the maw of the shark.

"I opened it, and, to my surprise, found that, according to the best of my recollection, the manuscript copy of the manifest answered word for word, nail for nail, with the one I had seen—the measurement of the Yankee brig Alconda being identically the same, out and out, with that of the 'Stormy Peterel of St John's, New Brunswick.'

"Having communicated the coincidence to the captain, he desired me to keep my own counsel, which I did. The vessel was seized and libelled in the Vice-Admiralty Court, to the great apparent surprise of Captain Shad of the Stormy Peterel, I guess. The day of trial arrived; we were all in court, and so were the crew and captain of the detained vessel. Our counsel, learned in the law, made his speech, and produced his witnesses. He of the adverse faction replied, and produced his, and cross-questioned ours, and pretty considerable perjuries were flying about; and although the suspicion was strong against the Stormy Peterel, still she was on the point of flying away and weathering us all, when the lawyer retained by the merchantman said sneeringly across the table to our advocate, 'Sorry must go for damages against your client; I hope you have your recognisances and bail-bond ready.'

"'You are very obliging, brother Grab,' said our friend, calmly—then to the bench, 'may it please your honour, I am now in a position to save you farther trouble, by proving, on the most undeniable evidence, by a most disinterested witness, that the vessel in court, purporting to be "the Stormy Peterel of St John's, New Brunswick"'—here Jonathan's jaw fell—'is neither more nor less'—the Yankee's eyes seemed like to start from their sockets—'than the American brig Alconda, off and from New York.'

"'Who the hell has peached?' screamed the Yankee, looking round fiercely among his own men, and utterly shoved off his balance!

"'Silence,' sang out the crier.

"'The hand of heaven is in this iniquitous matter, please your honour.' Here he produced the tin box, and took out the Alconda's manifest and register, and confronting them with the forged papers belonging to the Stormy Peterel, the trick was instantly proved, and the vessel condemned—Jonathan, as he swung out of court, exclaiming, amidst showers of tobacco juice, 'Pretty considerably damned and con-damned, and all by a bloody sharkfish. If this ben't, by G—, the most active and unnatural piece of cruelty—may I be physicked all my natural days with hot oil and fish-hooks!'"

So far, so true; but Dennis, honest man, superadded a few flourishes of his own, one of which was, that the spine of the shark was extracted, and preserved in the captain's cabin, hung up to the roof; and that one of the quartermasters, "a most religious charackter," could notice certain vibrations and twistings of the vertebrae, whenever any vessel with false papers was in the vicinity—even when she could not be seen from the masthead.

"Why, it must have been a divining rod—a second rod of Moses," said I, laughing.

"And you have said it with your own beautiful mug, Benjie Brail," quoth Dennis Donovan.

"Gammon," said I Benjie.