SCENE III.—MRS. JOURDAIN, MR. JOURDAIN, A SERVANT.
MR. JOUR. Ah! insolent woman that you are; these are your fine doings. You come and abuse me before everybody, and send away from my house persons of quality.
MRS. JOUR. I don't care a pin for their quality.
MR. JOUR. I don't know, accursed woman that you are, what prevents me from beating your skull in with what remains of the feast you have come and disturbed.
MRS. JOUR. (going away). I despise your threats. I come here to defend my own rights, and all wives will be on my side.
MR. JOUR. You do wisely to avoid my anger, I can tell you.
SCENE IV.—MR. JOURDAIN (alone).
She came in at a most unlucky moment. I was in a mood to tell her very pretty things, and I never felt so full of wit. But what does this mean?
SCENE V.—MR. JOURDAIN, COVIELLE (disguised).
COV. Sir, I am not sure if I have the honour of being known to you.
MR. JOUR. No, Sir.
COV. (putting his hand about a foot from the ground). I saw you when you were not taller than that.
MR. JOUR. Me?
COV. Yes! You were the most beautiful child in the world, and all the ladies used to lift you up in their arms to kiss you.
MR. JOUR. To kiss me?
COV. Yes. I was a great friend of the late nobleman your father.
MR. JOUR. Of the late nobleman my father?
COV. Yes, he was a most kind gentleman.
MR. JOUR. What do you say?
COV. I say that he was a most kind gentleman.
MR. JOUR. My father?
COV. Your father.
MR. JOUR. You knew him well?
COV. Very well indeed.
MR. JOUR. And you know him to have been a nobleman?
COV. Undoubtedly.
MR. JOUR. Well, I don't understand what the world means.
COV. What do you say?
MR. JOUR. There are some stupid people who try to persuade me that he was a shopkeeper.
COV. He a shopkeeper! It is sheer calumny. All he did was this: he was extremely kind and obliging, and understood different kinds of stuff very well; therefore he used to go everywhere and choose some; then, he had them brought to his house, and was in the habit of letting his friends have some for money if they chose.
MR. JOUR. I am delighted to have made your acquaintance, so that you may testify that my father was a nobleman.
COV. I will maintain it before the whole world.
MR. JOUR. You will oblige me greatly; may I know what business brings you here?
COV. Since my acquaintance with your late father—a perfect gentleman, as I was telling you—I have travelled to the end of the world.
MR. JOUR. To the end of the world?
COV. Yes.
MR. JOUR. I suppose it is a very far-off country.
COV. Very far off. I only returned four days ago, and owing to the interest I take in all that concerns you, I have come to give you the best news possible.
MR. JOUR. What can it be?
COV. You know that the son of the Grand Turk is here. [Footnote: There seems to have been a Turkish envoy in Paris at that time.]
MR. JOUR. No, I didn't know.
COV. You didn't know! He has a most magnificent retinue of attendants. Everybody goes to see him, and he has been received in this country as a personage of the greatest importance.
MR. JOUR. Indeed? I have heard nothing of it.
COV. What is of great concern to you is that he is in love with your daughter.
MR. JOUR. The son of the Grand Turk?
COV. Yes, and that he wishes to, become your son-in-law.
MR. JOUR. My son-in-law, the son of the Grand Turk!
COV. The son of the Grand Turk your son-in-law When I went to see him, as I understand his language perfectly, we had a long chat together; and after having talked of different things, he told me, Acciam croc soler onch alla moustaph gidelum amanahem varahini oussere carbulath? that is to say, "Have you not seen a beautiful young girl who is the daughter of Mr. Jourdain, a nobleman of Paris?"
MR. JOUR. The son of the Grand Turk said that of me?
COV. Yes. Then I answered him that I knew you perfectly well, and that I had seen your daughter. Ah! said he, marababa sahem! which is to say, "Ah! how much I love her!"
MR. JOUR. Marababa sahem! means, "Ah! how I love her!"
COV. Yes.
MR. JOUR. Indeed, you do right to tell me; for I should never have known that Marababa sahem! meant, "Ah I how much I love her!" This Turkish language is admirable.
COV. More admirable than you would ever imagine. For instance, do you know what Cacaracamouchen means?
MR. JOUR. Cacaracamouchen? No.
COV. It means, "My dear love."
MR. JOUR. Cacaracamouchen means, "My dear love"?
COV. Yes.
MR. JOUR. It is wonderful! Cacaracamouchen, "My dear love." Who would ever have thought it? I am perfectly astounded.
COV. In short, in order to end my embassy, I must tell you that he is coming to ask your daughter in marriage; and in order to have a father-in-law worthy of him, he wants to make you a mamamouchi, which is a great dignity in his country.
MR. JOUR. Mamamouchi?
COV. Mamamouchi; that is to say in our own language, a paladin. Paladin, you know those ancient paladins; in short, there is nothing more noble than that in the whole world, and you will take rank with the greatest lords upon the earth.
MR. JOUR. The son of the Grand Turk honours me greatly, and I beg of you to take me to his house, that I may return him my thanks.
COV. Not at all; he is just coming here.
MR. JOUR. He is coming here?
COV. Yes, and he is bringing with him everything necessary for the ceremony.
MR. JOUR. It is doing things rather quickly.
COV. Yes, his love will suffer no delay.
MR. JOUR. All that perplexes me in this affair is that my daughter is a very obstinate girl, who has taken it into her head to have a certain Cléonte for her husband, and vows she will marry no other.
COV. She is sure to change her mind when she sees the son of the Grand Turk; besides, wonderful to relate, the son of the Grand Turk has a strong likeness to that very Cléonte. People showed him to me, and I have just seen him; the love she feels for the one is sure to pass to the other, and … I hear him coming! Lo, here he is.
SCENE VI.—CLÉONTE (dressed as a Turk), THREE PAGES (carrying the vest of CLÉONTE), MR. JOURDAIN, COVIELLE.
CLE. Ambousahim oqui boraf, Giourdina, salamatequi.
COV. (to MR. JOURDAIN). That is to say, "Mr. Jourdain, may your heart be all the year round a budding rose tree." It is a way of speaking they have in that country.
MR. JOUR. I am your Turkish highness's humble servant.
COV. Carigar camboto oustin moraf.
CLE. Oustin yoc catamalequi basum base alla moran.
COV. He says, "May heaven grant you the strength of the lion and the prudence of the serpent."
MR. JOUR. His Turkish highness does me too much honour, and I wish him all manner of prosperity.
COV. Ossa binamen sadoc baballi oracaf ouram.
CLE. Belmen.
COV. He says you must go quickly with him to prepare for the ceremony, in order afterwards to see your daughter and conclude the marriage.
MR. JOUR. So many things comprised in two words?
COV. Yes, The Turkish language is like that, it says a good deal in a few words. Go quickly where he wishes you.
SCENE VII.—COVIELLE (alone).
Ah! ah! ah! Upon my soul, this is most absurd. What a dupe! Had he learnt his part by heart, he would not have played it better. Ah! ah! ah!