Contents

Page

[Chapter I]

The origin of the story: regarding poetry, incurable love, false hair, and the hero of the story—The dangers of fame and the advantage of the upper shelf—The Chinaman’s pigtail, and the collar of humanity 1

[Chapter II]

An Italian robber on the “Buitensingel” in Amsterdam—The bitter suffering of the virtuous Amalia—Wax candles, the palisades of morality—The cunning of the little Hallemans—The limitations of space 9

[Chapter III]

The difference between a sugar bowl and a Bible—Leentje’s virtues and defects—An unfounded suspicion against Pennewip’s honor 18

[Chapter IV]

The profound silence of Juffrouw Laps—Stoffel’s sermon—Walter’s fidelity to Glorioso—The last king of Athens—Ruined stomachs and bursted ear-drums 24

[Chapter V]

How one may become a great man—The cleverness of M’sieu Millaire—Versifying and the art of classifying everything—Hobby-horses 27

[Chapter VI]

Preparations for a party—The assignment of rôles—The conflict between wishing and being—Some tricks of fancy—The two sawmills—Amalia and the ducks 34

[Chapter VII]

Poetry and wigs—The vexation and despair of the latter 42

[Chapter VIII]

A tea-evening, and how it began—Some gaps in the author’s knowledge—Stoffel’s zoölogical joke—The cause of the last Punic war—And the advantage of smoking 48

[Chapter IX]

Echoes of the last Punic war—The defeat of Hannibal (Laps) by Scipio (Pennewip) 61

[Chapter X]

Causes of the tedious peace in Europe, showing the value of a “tea-evening” as a study—Specimens of school-verse concluded—Suitable for society poets and clever children 68

[Chapter XI]

Report on the condition of the leading characters after the catastrophe—Walter again: a character-study 75

[Chapter XII]

Leentje as a comforter and questioner—Prince Walter and his dominions 80

[Chapter XIII]

Convincing proofs of Walter’s improvement—His first invitation—A study in love—Paradise and Peri 87

[Chapter XIV]

Great changes in the Pieterse family—Walter becomes poet-laureate at the court of Juffrouw Laps—The mountains of Asia—The bridge, Glorioso, and love—again 102

[Chapter XV]

Walter’s dream—A swell coachman—Juffrouw Laps’s difficulties 117

[Chapter XVI]

Femke hunts for Walter, and finds him under peculiar circumstances—Her adventures by the way 125

[Chapter XVII]

The widower’s birthday—Klaasje’s poem, and how a surprise may involve further surprises 132

[Chapter XVIII]

Walter’s recovery—The doctor’s pictures—Amsterdam dramaturgy 138

[Chapter XIX]

Pastors, sermons, and Juffrouw Laps—Chocolate, timidity, and love—The fire that didn’t break out—Some details of religious belief 150

[Chapter XX]

Our hero calls on the doctor—Some strange happenings—How Walter delivered his present 161

[Chapter XXI]

Ophelia reaches her destination, and Femke becomes a queen—Walter’s first experience “proposing”—Choosing a profession 170

[Chapter XXII]

Walter enters the real world—The firm Motto, Business & Co.—The technique of the novel—And the snuff of the Romans 180

[Chapter XXIII]

How one may become a “prodigal” by studying the story of the Prodigal Son 194

[Chapter XXIV]

Why Walter did not see Femke—The worldliness of a servant of the church—The secret of Father Jansen’s deafness in his left ear 201

[Chapter XXV]

Kings and doughnuts—How the masses soar and fall—Walter’s cowardice and remorse of conscience—A good remedy for the blues 211

[Chapter XXVI]

Our hero retires thinking of Princess Erika, to be aroused by robbers and murderers, who are in collusion with Juffrouw Laps 225

[Chapter XXVII]

Walter alone with a pious lady, or Juffrouw Laps on the war-path 240

[Chapter XXVIII]

A midnight kiss—A wonderful statue in the “Juniper Berry”—Republicans and True Dutch hearts—A sailor with—Femke? 245

[Chapter XXIX]

Sunrise on the “Dam”—An exciting encounter with a water-nymph—A letter from heaven—America, a haven for prodigal sons 260

[Chapter XXX]

A message from Femke, which Walter fails to understand—Dr. Holsma to the rescue—Femke and family portraits—Femke, and once more Femke 270

[Chapter XXXI]

Stoffel’s view of the matter—Juffrouw Laps’s distress, and Juffrouw Pieterse’s elation—Elephants and butterflies, and Kaatje’s conception of heredity 279

[Chapter XXXII]

A theatrical performance under difficulties—The contest between Napoleon and King Minos of Crete—A Goddess on Mt. Olympus—Kisses and rosebuds 286

[Chapter XXXIII]

Conclusion 298