Inconsistency
Call a pretty girl a witch
And she’ll do her best to charm you.
Tell an old maid she’s a witch,
And she certainly will harm you.
Thus you see how hard it is to please them all.
Call a pretty maiden “Puss,”
And she’ll archly smile upon you.
Call an ancient one a “cat,”
She will grab an axe and run you.
The same name will not fit them all, at all.
If you call your girl a “mouse,”
She will think it cute and pretty.
If unto an aged spinster
You say “rats,” you have our pity.
Thus you see you need not try to please them all.
“In a lighthouse by the sea” is what the opera company sang to a forty-dollar audience in Galveston.
“Yes,” said the tramp as he accepted the dime and made for the lunch counter, “I always hollers when I’m hit and I always hits a man when I’m holler.”