Marriage.
Among the Germans, and likewise other northern nations of earlier Europe, monogamy was prevalent and almost the universal practice. There was a kind of purchase of the wife, as the man in the presence of her parents offered a dowry to the bride, which if accepted sealed the match. The parties to the contract both had to be mature people, the bridegroom having to be old enough to be invested with arms and to become a member of the state. Before the woman could marry she had to have the consent of her father or nearest relative, and if a widow, having been purchased, she had to have the approval of the relatives of her deceased husband.
"Marriage ceremonies (among Anglo-Saxons) consisted in the assemblage of friends, the consuming of the great loaf (made by the bride as an introduction into house-keeping, and the ancestor of our wedding-cake); some special barrels of beer were brewed—the 'bride ale,' hence our modern 'bridal.' This beer was drunk to her health and to that of the bridegroom (originally brydgumma, bridesman). The Anglo-Saxons paid a regular sum, agreed upon beforehand, to the father before the wedding; the consent of the lady being obtained, the bridegroom then gave his promise and his 'wed.' 'Nor,' adds Sharon Turner, 'was this promise trusted to his honor merely, or to his own interest. The female sex was so much under the protection of the law that the bridegroom was compelled to produce friends who became security for his due observance of the covenant.' In this we have the origin of 'groomsman,' or 'best man,' of our time. The parties being betrothed, the next step to take was to settle by whom the fosten-léan, or money requisite for the care of the children, was to be supplied. The bridegroom pledged himself to do this; his friends became security for him. These preliminaries being arranged, he had to signify what he meant to give her for choosing to be his wife, and what he should give her in case she survived him. This was the morgen gifu, being given by the Anglo-Saxon husbands to their wives on the morning after the wedding.[206] The old law says that it is right that she should halve the property, or the whole of it should become hers if she had children, unless she married again. The friends of the bridegroom became surety for his conduct and those of the bride for hers. A priest—when Christianity was introduced—blessed the union; and after many points of law had been settled for the protection of the wife under all circumstances, 'her relations wedded her to him.' But in all these instances no mention is made of the wedding-ring, which came later. The English, regarding the wife in her capacity of ruler of the household, placed a ring upon her finger as a badge, not of servitude, but of authority, as in the case of the consort of Ethelred the Second, who before receiving the crown was anointed and distinguished by this symbolic act of adornment."[207]
There was a time during the Middle Ages when betrothal and even marriage took place at a very early age, even between quite young children. In England boys could be married at fourteen and girls at twelve, but these ages were sometimes disregarded and children were married at even younger ages. Betrothals were made by parents or guardians for children of very young age, one such case is on record as having been entered into when the little girl was but four years of age, the child having been given in charge to her future father-in-law. This custom was by far most common among the upper classes, for, as a rule, the men and women of the middle classes did not enter upon marriage till of more mature age. These early marriages or betrothals were probably the result of guardians having under their charge children who were heirs and so they arranged the marriage to their own advantage or sold their rights for a sum of money, and even parents were known to have sold the marriage of their children to gain money.
The idea of the early Christians that marriage should not be civil but religious gradually prevailed till not only was the ceremony performed by the church alone, but also breaches of marriage vows were punished not by the state but by the church. But this did not prevent marriage from becoming a business affair, where the material advantages to be gained were closely looked into and the amount of property or money to be gained on either or both sides was the most important and chief consideration. Nor did this prevent informal marriages, for men and women did join themselves together without priest or religious ceremony by a simple declaration that they would take each other as husband and wife. This was not accepted by the church nor always recognized by the state, but such unions did take place nevertheless.
"It is sometimes thought that in the Middle Ages men were always obliged to hold to their wives for better or worse to their lives' end. There are some grounds for this opinion, but it is not quite correct. The Church did not allow divorce in the modern sense of the word; that is to say, she taught that a valid marriage could not be dissolved; but marriages could be, and often were, annulled on the ground that some impediment existed which rendered them invalid."[208]
There was no regular marriage among the serfs of the earliest times. As marriage became more a church ceremony, this institution established, about the twelfth century, the legality of this ceremony among the serfs. This, of course, caused difficulties when the serf of one lord married the serf of another, and especially so when such parties had children. Sometimes money satisfied this, sometimes other marriages, and even sometimes the children were divided among the two estates.