LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS.
| PAGE | |
|---|---|
| Pictorial Title, | [iii] |
| A Tight Place, | [19] |
| Starting Out, | [23] |
| A Little Mixed, | [24] |
| The Ex-veteran of Waterloo, | [27] |
| A Miner who will soon be Minus, | [28] |
| May and December, | [30] |
| Sam Patterson, | [32] |
| Premature Ascent, | [37] |
| Attempted Abduction of Sam’s Wife, | [39] |
| “Let Me Git Out,” | [41] |
| “Go in, Cripple,” | [49] |
| A Right Angled Try-ankle, | [51] |
| A Prey to Disease, | [54] |
| Bob Browser, | [57] |
| Old Hurley Welcomes Jim, | [61] |
| Old Hurley on the War Path, | [65] |
| A Happy Thought, | [68] |
| Advance of the Cripple Brigade, | [71] |
| “Pay in Advance, Sir,” | [75] |
| Emperor Nelson, of San Francisco, | [77] |
| Stranger Who Went Not In, | [79] |
| The Stranger Who Went In, | [83] |
| A Rear Attack, | [87] |
| Little Dog’s Leather Collar, | [90] |
| In the Morning, | [93] |
| In the Evening, | [94] |
| In Meditation, | [98] |
| Bob’s Attack, | [101] |
| Alas! Poor Frog, | [102] |
| April, | [103] |
| Sold, | [104] |
| The Horse-shoe Charm, | [109] |
| Repairs Needed, | [113] |
| The President of the Academy, | [119] |
| The Old Lady’s Ascent, | [124] |
| The Trying Moment, | [129] |
| Judge Perkins, | [140] |
| Bad for the Fruit Business, | [143] |
| Bow-legged Spinny, | [146] |
| Nip and Tuck, | [151] |
| More Light on the Subject, | [154] |
| The Chief, | [158] |
| Behind the Bars, | [161] |
| The Advocate, | [163] |
| Bill of Divorce, | [167] |
| Head of his Class, | [169] |
| Foot of her Class, | [170] |
| A Suitor Nonsuited, | [172] |
| A Rousing Event, | [176] |
| Slightly Embarrassing, | [181] |
| Badly Mixed, | [182] |
| The Economist Seeing Double, | [186] |
| Richard Roe, the Sardine Thief, | [189] |
| The Judge, | [191] |
| Neck to Neck, | [199] |
| Steam let On, | [203] |
| Blow me Up! | [207] |
| Business is Business, | [213] |
| Bill After his Glass Eye, | [223] |
| The Ministerial Looking Man, | [227] |
| Startling Disclosures, | [234] |
| Busting his Bugle, | [244] |
| The One-eyed Swede, | [250] |
| Needed Air, | [254] |
| The Best Shot, | [258] |
| The Ascent, | [263] |
| The Descent, | [264] |
| Going for the Doctor, | [274] |
| Hands Up and Heads Down, | [279] |
| Alas! Poor Doctor, | [281] |
| One of Heenan’s Mementoes, | [292] |
| A Scientific Opening, | [294] |
| An Object of Suspicion, | [300] |
| On a Raid, | [304] |
| The Glorious Fourth, | [309] |
| Arousing the Dog, | [311] |
| The Final Explosion, | [312] |
| Something New, | [314] |
| The Doctor’s Scourge, | [318] |
| Joe Grimsby, | [322] |
| Truth is Powerful, | [328] |
| Mr. Spudd, | [331] |
| The Old Interrogator, | [332] |
| Having a Quiet Time, | [339] |
| The Crone, | [341] |
| Attending to Business, | [345] |
| Partner Wanted, | [347] |
| The New Acquaintance, | [353] |
| A One-sided Operation, | [357] |
| Lively Work, | [364] |
| A Mosquito on the Scent, | [368] |
| To the Hilt in Blood, | [371] |
| The Orchestra, | [374] |
| Macbeth, | [378] |
| Othello, | [379] |
| A Startling Apparition, | [383] |
| Advance of the Expedition, | [386] |
| Boggs Retrieving his Game, | [390] |
| From a Painting by an Old Master, | [392] |
| Love’s Young Dream, | [394] |
| A Through Passenger, | [397] |
| The Signal Station, | [400] |
| Rather “Sloroppy,” | [403] |
| Sniffing the Battle from Afar, | [404] |
| Alighting Gracefully, | [407] |
| Revenge is Sweet, | [411] |
| The Exploring Party, | [413] |
| “Up he Comes,” | [416] |
| Unpromising Outlook, | [418] |
| No Collar, No Crumbs, | [422] |
| The Sexton, | [429] |
| The Clergyman in Limbo, | [432] |
| Sleepy Doby, | [440] |
| Opening his Heart, | [444] |
| Swearing to Get Even, | [449] |
| A Moving Scene, | [457] |
| Slipping Off the Mortal Coil, | [458] |
| The Last of his Race, | [460] |
| Abe Drake, | [464] |
| Kate Rykert, | [466] |
| Mrs. O’Laughlan, | [472] |
| Just as it Was, | [473] |
| Curing People’s Corns, | [478] |
| Bummers on the Raid, | [484] |
| A Drowsy Jury, | [490] |
| The Rocky Road to Masonry, | [495] |
| June, | [497] |
| The Fire Department, | [506] |
| Peering into the Depths, | [508] |
| Good-Bye, | [509] |
| Sketching from Nature, | [510] |
| So Sick! | [511] |
| At the Rail, | [512] |
AH TIE.
THAT DEADLY PIE.
I Sing the woe and overthrow
Of one debased and sly,
Who entered soft a baker’s shop,
And stole a currant pie.
And not a soul about the place,
And no one passing by,
Chanced to detect him in the act,
Or dreamed that he was nigh.
The moon alone with lustre shone,
And viewed him from the sky,
And broadly smiled, as musing on
The sequel by and by.
Ah Tie began, while fast he ran,
To gobble down the pie,
Determined that, if caught at last,
No proof should meet the eye.
For not the fox, for cunning famed,
The crow, or weasel, sly,
Could with that erring man compare—
The heathen thief, Ah Tie.
But, blessings on the pastry man!
Oh! blessings, rich and high,
Upon the cook who cooked a rag
Within that currant pie!
Dim was the light, and large the bite
The thief to bolt did try,
And in his haste, along with paste,
He gulped the wiper dry.
So thus it proves that slight affairs
Do oft, as none deny,
For good or evil, unawares,
Be waiting with reply.
The influence of every plot,
Or action bold or sly,
Or good or bad, mistake or not,
Will speak, we may rely.
He strove in vain, with cough and strain.
And finger swallowed nigh,
Or in, or out, to force the clout,
Or turn the thing awry.
But tight as wadding in a gun,
Or cork in jug of rye,
The choking gag, but half-way down,
Fast in his throat did lie.
A TIGHT PLACE.
Not finger point, or second joint,
Or heaving cough, or pry,
Did seem to change its posture strange,
Or work a passage by.
The Lord was there, as everywhere—
His ways who can descry?
He turned to use the rag that missed
The cook’s incautious eye.
The race was short, as it must be
When lungs get no supply
Of ever needful oxygen,
The blood to purify.
It matters not how large or small
The man, or beast, or fly,
A little air must be their share,
Or else to life “good bye.”
Slow grew his pace, and black his face,
And blood-shot rolled his eye;
And from his nerveless fingers fell
The fragments of the pie.
The broken crust rolled in the dust,
While scattered currants fly;
But ah, the fatal part had gone
Upon its mission high.
Then down he dropped, a strangled man,
Without a witness nigh—
And Death, the grim old boatman, ran
His noiseless shallop by.