OF NUMBERS AND PERSONS.

Verbs have two numbers. No. 1, Singular, No. 2, Plural.

In most matters it is usual to pay exclusive attention to number one. In learning the verbs, however, it is necessary to regard equally number two.—The persons of verbs are generally considered very disagreeable. Verbs have three persons in each number. Thus, for instance, at a dancing academy—

Sing.Ego salto,
Tu saltas,
Ille saltat,		I dance,
Thou dancest,
He danceth.
Plur.Nos saltamus,
Vos saltatis,
Illi saltant,		We dance,
Ye dance,
They dance.

At an academy on Free-knowledge-ical principles—or a Comic Academy.

Ego rideo,
Tu rides,
Ille ridet,		I laugh,
Thou laughest,
He laugheth.
Nos ridemus,
Vos ridetis.
Illi rident,		We laugh,
Ye laugh,
They laugh.

Laughter, too, is very common at other academies, but generally occurs on the wrong side of the mouth. The right sort of laughter (which may be presumed to be on the right side of the mouth), is most frequent about the time of the holidays. What does the song say?

“Ridet annus, prata rident

Nosque rideamus.”

“The year laughs, the meadows laugh,—suppose we have a laugh as well.”

Note—That all nouns are of the third person except Ego, Nos, Tu, and Vos. Hence we see how absurdly the man who drew a couple of donkeys acted in endeavouring to prevail upon us to call the picture “We Three”—Ille, he,—may, perhaps, have been qualified to make a third person in the group, and have “written himself down an ass” with some correctness. Ego, I, and Nos, we, have certainly nothing in common with that animal, and it is to be hoped that neither Tu, thou, nor Vos, ye, can be said to partake of his nature.

Note also. That all nouns of the vocative case are of the second person. So that if we should say, O asine, O thou donkey; or O asini, O ye donkeys, we should have grammar at least on our side.

Be it your care to prevent us from having justice also.

Of the Verb Esse, to be.

Before other verbs are declined, it is necessary to learn the verb Esse, to be. And before we teach the verb Esse, to be, it is necessary to make a few remarks on verbs in general.

In the first place we have to observe, that they are rather difficult; and in the next, that if any one expects that we are going to consider them in detail, he is very much mistaken.

But our skipping a very considerable portion of the verbs, is no reason why boys should do the same. Were we all to follow the examples of our teachers, instead of attending to their precepts, where would be the world by this time?

Whirling away, no doubt, far from the respectable society of the neighbouring planets, and blundering about right and left, pell-mell, helter-skelter among the fixed stars—itself, “and all which it inherit” in that glorious state of confusion so admirably described by the poet Ovid—

“Quem dixere Chaos,”

which men have called Shaos. It would indeed be little better than a broken down Shay-horse.

But “revenons à nos moutons,” that is, let us get back to our verbs. We recommend the most attentive and diligent study of all of them as set forth in the Eton Grammar, assisted by that kind of association of ideas, of which we shall now proceed to give a few specimens.

Sum, es, fui, esse, futurus, to be,—or not to be—that is the question.

Rule 1. To each person of a verb, singular and plural, join a noun, according to your taste or comic talent. Should you be deficient in the inventive faculty, apply for assistance to one of the senior boys, which, in consideration of your fagging for him, he will readily give you. If yourself a senior boy, apply to the master.

Examples.
Indicative Mood.
Present Tense. Am.
Sing.
Sum,
Es,
Est,		I am,
Thou art,
He is,		Vir,
Stultus,
Latro,		a man,
a fool,
a thief.
Plu.
Sumus,
Estis,
Sunt,		We are,
Ye are,
They are,		Patricii,
Plebeii,
Errones,		gentlemen,
snobs,
vagabonds.

We would proceed in this way with Sum, but that we are afraid of being tire-sum.

Verbs Regular.
First Conjugation. Amo.
Sing.
Amo,
Amas,
Amat,		I love,
Thou lovest,
He loveth,		Puellam,
Fartum,

Carnem
porcinam,

a lass,
a pudding,
pork.
Plu.
Amamus,
Amatis,
Amant,		We love,
Ye love,
They love,		Doctrinam,
Leporem,
Poesin,		learning,
comicality,
poetry.

The consideration of which three things leads us to

Rule 2. In repeating the different tenses of verbs, be careful to be provided with a short English verse, contrived so as to rhyme with the third person singular, and another to rhyme with the third person plural. In this way your powers of composition as well as of memory will be profitably exercised.

Example.
Second Conjugation. Moneo.
Sing.Moneo, mones, monet,
Reid & Co.’s heavy wet.
Plu.Monemus, monetis, monent,
Beats that from the firmament.
Third Conjugation. Rego.
Sing.Rego, regis, regit,
A statesman for office unfit.
Plu.Regimus, regitis, regunt,
Is much like a bear in a punt.

Rule 3. Should you be desired to give the English of each person in the tense which you are repeating, you may (we mean a class of you), follow a plan adopted with great success and striking effect in that kind of dramatic representation entitled “A Grand Opera,” that of singing what you have to say. Hold up your head, turn out your toes, clear your voices, and begin. A-hem!

GOING THROUGH THE VERBS.
AUDIO—I HEAR.

Fourth Conjugation. Audio.
Trio.
Sing.Audio,
Audis,
Audit,		I hear the Tartar drum!
Thou hearest the Tartar drum!

He hears the Tartar drum!—the Tartar drum! the Tartardrum!

Chorus.He hears!
He hears!
He h - - e - - - a - - rs the Tar - tar drum!
Plu.Audimus, We hear the Tartar drum, &c.
Verbs Irregular—

Are regular bores. The above Rules are equally applicable to them, and also to the

Defective Verbs;

Concerning which it may be asserted, that though almost all of them have tenses more or less imperfect, there are some which have not a single Imperfect Tense.

Impersonal Verbs.

Such as delectat, it delighteth; decet, it becometh, &c., answer to such English verbs as take the word it before them. When we consider that it is a term of endearment used in speaking to babies, as “it’s a pretty dear,” we cannot help thinking that Verbs Impersonal ought to be pet verbs. Such however, is not, as far as we know, the fact.

PRETTY DEAR.