32. Social rules. Salutations.
There are certain social obligations known as Farz or imperative, but if one person in eight or ten perform them it is as if all had done so. These are, to return a salutation; to visit the sick and inquire after their welfare; to follow a bier on foot to the grave; to accept an invitation; and that when a person sneezes and says immediately, ‘Alhamd ul lillah’ or ‘God be praised,’ one of the party must reply, ‘Yar hamak Allah’ or ‘God have mercy on you.’ The Muhammadan form of salutation is ‘Salām u alaikum’ or ‘The peace of God be with you,’ and the reply is ‘Wo alaikum as salām’ or ‘And on you also be peace.’[36] From this form has come the common Anglo-Indian use of the word Salaam.
When invitations are to be sent for any important function, such as a wedding, some woman who does not observe parda is employed to carry them. She is dressed in good clothes and provided with a tray containing betel-leaf biras or packets, cardamoms wrapped in red paper, sandalwood and sugar. She approaches any lady invited with great respect, and says: “So-and-so sends her best compliments to you and embraces you, and says that ‘as to-morrow there is a little gaiety about to take place in my house, and I wish all my female friends by their presence to grace and ornament with their feet the home of this poor individual, and thereby make it a garden of roses, you must also positively come, and by remaining a couple of hours honour my humble dwelling with your company.’” If the invitation is accepted the woman carrying it applies a little sandalwood to the neck, breast and back of the guest, puts sugar and cardamoms into her mouth, and gives her a betel-leaf. If it is declined, only sandalwood is applied and a betel-leaf given.[37]
Next day dhoolies or litters are sent for the guests, or if the hostess is poor she sends women to escort them to the house before daybreak. The guests are expected to bring presents. If any ceremony connected with a child is to be performed they give it clothes or sweets, and similar articles of higher value to the bride and bridegroom in the case of a wedding.