4. Betrothal and marriage.
Marriage within the same sept is prohibited and also between the children of brothers and sisters. A man may not marry his wife’s elder sister but he can take her younger one in her lifetime. Marriage is usually adult and, contrary to the Hindu rule, the proposal for a match always comes from the boy’s father, as a man would think it undignified to try and find a husband for his daughter. The Kawar says, ‘Shall my daughter leap over the wall to get a husband.’ In consequence of this girls not infrequently remain unmarried until a comparatively late age, especially in the zamīndāri families where the provision of a husband of suitable rank may be difficult. Having selected a bride for his son the boy’s father sends some friends to her village, and they address a friend of the girl’s family, saying, “So-and-so (giving his name and village) would like to have a cup of pej (boiled rice-water) from you; what do you say?” The proposal is communicated to the girl’s family, and if they approve of it they commence preparing the rice-water, which is partaken of by the parties and their friends. If the bride’s people do not begin cooking the pej, it is understood that the proposal is rejected. The ceremony of betrothal comes next, when the boy’s party go to the girl’s house with a present of bangles, clothes, and fried cakes of rice and urad carried by a Kaurai Rāwat. They also take with them the bride-price, known as Suk, which is made up of cash, husked or unhusked rice, pulses and oil. It is a fixed amount, but differs for each subcaste, and the average value is about Rs. 25. To this is added three or four goats to be consumed at the wedding. If a widower marries a girl, a larger bride-price is exacted. The wedding follows, and in many respects conforms to the ordinary Hindu ritual, but Brāhmans are not employed. The bridegroom’s party is accompanied by tomtom-players on its way to the wedding, and as each village is approached plenty of noise is made, so that the residents may come out and admire the dresses, a great part of whose merit consists in their antiquity, while the wearer delights in recounting to any who will listen the history of his garb and of his distinguished ancestors who have worn it. The marriage is performed by walking round the sacred pole, six times on one day and once on the following day. After the marriage the bride’s parents wash the feet of the couple in milk, and then drink it in atonement for the sin committed in bringing their daughter into the world. The couple then return home to the bridegroom’s house, where all the ceremonies are repeated, as it is said that otherwise his courtyard would remain unmarried. On the following day the couple go and bathe in a tank, where each throws five pots full of water over the other. And on their return the bridegroom shoots arrows at seven straw images of deer over his wife’s shoulder, and after each shot she puts a little sugar in his mouth. This is a common ceremony among the forest tribes, and symbolises the idea that the man will support himself and his wife by hunting. On the fourth day the bride returns to her father’s house. She visits her husband for two or three months in the following month of Asārh (June–July), but again goes home to play what is known as ‘The game of Gauri,’ Gauri being the name of Siva’s consort. The young men and girls of the village assemble round her in the evening, and the girls sing songs while the men play on drums. An obscene representation of Gauri is made, and some of them pretend to be possessed by the deity, while the men beat the girls with ropes of grass. After she has enjoyed this amusement with her mates for some three months, the bride finally goes to her husband’s house.