FOOTNOTES
[38] Rom. viii. 28.
[39] Col. iv. 1.
CHAPTER XV.
THE DUTIES OF CHILDREN AND FELLOW-SERVANTS TO ONE ANOTHER.
It is not easy to resolve, whether good governors, or good fellow-servants, in a family, be the greater help and benefit, to each of the inferiors. For servants are so much together, and so free and familiar with each other, that they have the more opportunity to be useful to each other, if they have but abilities and hearts. It is needful, therefore, that you know your duty to one another, both for doing and getting that good which otherwise will be lost.
Direct. I. Love one another unfeignedly as yourselves; avoid all contention and falling out with one another, or any thing that would weaken your love to one another; especially differences about your personal interests, in point of profit, provision, or reputation. Take heed of the spirit of envy, which will make your hearts rise against those that are preferred before you, or that are used better than you. Remember the sin and misery of Cain, and take warning by him. Give place to others, and in honour prefer others, and seek not to be preferred before them, Rom. xii. 10, 16. God delighteth to exalt the humble that abase themselves, and to cast down those that exalt themselves. When the interest of your flesh can make you hate or fall out with each other, what a fearful sign is it of a fleshly mind! Rom. viii. 6, 13.
Direct. II. Take heed of using provoking words against each other. For these are the bellows to blow up that which the apostle calleth "the fire of hell," James iii. 6. A foul tongue setteth on fire the course of nature; and therefore it may set a family on fire, James iii. 5, 6. "Where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work," ver. 16. If ye be angry, refrain your tongues "and sin not, and let not the sun go down upon your wrath: neither give place to the devil," Eph. iv. 26, 27. "Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice; and be ye kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you," ver. 31, 32. 1 Cor. vi. 10, "Revilers shall not inherit the kingdom of God."
Direct. III. Help one another with love and willingness in your labours; and do not grudge at one another, and say such a one doth less than I; but be as ready to help another, as you would be helped yourselves. It is very amiable to see a family of such children and servants, that all take one another's concernments as their own, and are not selfish against each other. Psal. cxxxiii. 1, "Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!"
Direct. IV. Take heed that you prove not tempters to draw each other to sin and misery. Either by joining together in riotousness, or wronging your masters, or secret revelling, and then in lying to conceal it; or lest immodest familiarity draw those of different sexes into a snare. Abundance of sin and misery hath followed such tempting familiarity of men and maids that were fellow-servants. Their nearness giveth them opportunity, and the devil provoketh them to take their opportunity; and from immodest, wanton dalliance, and unchaste words, they proceed at last to more lasciviousness, to their own undoing. Bring not the straw to the fire, if you would not have it burn.
Direct. V. Watch over one another for mutual preservation against the sin and temptations which you are most in danger of. Agree to tell each other of your faults, not proudly or passionately, but in love; and resolve to take it thankfully from each other. If any one talk foolishly and idly, or wantonly and immodestly, or tell a lie, or take God's name in vain, or neglect their duty to God or man, or deal unfaithfully in their trust or labour, let the other seriously tell him of his sin, and call him to repentance. And let not him that is guilty take it ill, and angrily snap at the reprover, or justify or excuse the fault, or hit him presently in the teeth with his own; but humbly thank him and promise amendment. Oh how happy might servants be, if they would faithfully watch over one another!
Direct. VI. When you are together, and your work will allow it, let your discourse be such as tendeth to edification, and to the spiritual good of the speaker or the hearers. Some work there is that must be thought on, and talked of, while it is doing, and will not allow you leisure to think or speak of other things, till it is done; but very much of the work of most servants may be as well done, though they think and speak together of heavenly things; besides all other times when their work is over. O take this time to be speaking of good to one another. It is like, that some one of you hath more knowledge than the rest; let the rest be asking his counsel and instructions, and let him bend himself to do them good: or if you are equal in knowledge, yet stir up the grace that is in you, if you have any; or stir up your desires after it, if you have none. Waste not your precious time in vanity; multiply not the sin of idle words. Oh what a load doth lie on many a soul that feeleth it not, in the guilt of these two sins, loss of time, and idle words! To be guilty of the same sins over and over, every day, and make a constant practice of them, and this against your own knowledge and conscience, is a more grievous case than many think of; whereas, if you would live together as the heirs of heaven, and provoke one another to the love of God, and holy duty, and delightfully talk of the word of God, and the life to come, what blessings might you be to one another! and your service and labour would be a sanctified and comfortable life to you all. Eph. iv. 29, 30, "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, and may minister grace to the hearers: and grieve not the holy Spirit of God." And chap. v. 3, 4, "But fornication and all uncleanness, or covetousness, (or rather, inordinate, fleshly desire,) let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient; but rather giving of thanks." Of this more anon.
Direct. VII. Patiently bear with the failings of one another towards yourselves, and hide those faults, the opening of which will do no good, but stir up strife; but conceal not those faults which will be cherished by concealment, or whose concealment tendeth to the wrong of your master, or any other. For it is in your power to forgive a fault against yourselves, but not against God, or another. And to know when you should reveal it, and when not, you must wisely foreknow which way is like to do more good or harm. And if yet you be in doubt, open it first to some secret friend, that is wise to advise you, whether it should be further opened or not.
Direct. VIII. If weakness, or sickness, or want afflict a brother, or sister, or fellow-servant, be kind and helpful to them according to your power. "Love not in word only, but in deed and truth," 1 John iii. 18; James ii.
CHAPTER XVI.
DIRECTIONS FOR HOLY CONFERENCE OF FELLOW-SERVANTS OR OTHERS.
Because this is a duty so frequently to be performed; and therefore the peace and edification of christians is very much concerned in it, I shall give a few brief directions about it.
Direct. 1. Labour most for a full and lively heart, which hath the feeling of those things which your tongues should speak of. For, 1. Such a heart will be like a spring which is always running, and will continually feed the streams. Forced and feigned things are of short continuance; the hypocrite's affected, forced speech, is exercised but among those where it may serve his pride and carnal ends; at other times, and in other company, he hath another tongue like other men. It is like a land-flood that is quickly gone; or like the bending of a bow, which returneth to its place as soon as it is loosed. 2. And that which cometh from your hearts, will be serious and hearty, and likeliest to do good to others; for words do their work upon us, not only by signifying the matter which is spoken, but also by signifying the affections of the speaker. And that which will work affections, must express affection ordinarily. If it come not from the heart of the speaker, it is not so like to go to the hearts of the hearers. A hearty preacher, and a hearty, feeling discourse of holy things, do pierce heart-deep, and do that good, which better composed words that are heartless do not.
Direct. II. Yet for all that, when your hearts are cold, and dull, and barren, do not think that your tongues must therefore neglect their duty, and be silent from all good, till your hearts be better, but force your tongues to do their duty, if they will not do it freely without constraint. For, 1. Duty is duty, whether you be well-disposed to it or not: if all duty should cease when men are ill-disposed to it, no wicked man would be bound to any thing that is truly holy. 2. And if heart and tongue be both obliged, it is worse to omit both than one. 3. And there may be sincerity in a duty, when the heart is cold and dull. 4. And beginning to do your duty as well as you can, is the way to overcome your dulness and unfitness; when you force your tongues at first to speak of that which is good, the words which you speak or hear, may help to bring you into a better frame. Many a man hath begun to pray with coldness, that hath got him heat before he had done; and many a man hath gone unwillingly to hear a sermon, that hath come home a converted soul. 5. And when you set yourselves in the way of duty, you are in the way of promised grace.
Object. But is not this to play the hypocrite, to let my tongue go before my heart; and speak the things which my heart is not affected with?
Answ. If you speak falsely and dissemblingly, you play the hypocrite; but you may force yourselves to speak of good, without any falsehood or hypocrisy. Words signify, as I told you, the matter spoken, and the speaker's mind. Now your speaking of the things of God doth tell no more of your mind but this, that you take them to be true, and that you desire those that you speak to, to regard them: and all this is so; and therefore there is no hypocrisy in it. Indeed if you told the hearers, that you are deeply affected with these things yourselves, when it is not so, this were hypocrisy. But a man may exhort another to be good, without professing himself to be good; yea, though he confess himself to be bad. Therefore all the good discourses of a wicked man are not hypocrisy; much less the good discourse of a sincere christian, that is dull and cold in that discourse. And if a duty had some hypocrisy in it, it is not the duty, but the hypocrisy, that God disliketh, and you must forsake: as if there be coldness in a duty, it is the coldness, and not the duty, that is to be blamed and forborne. And wholly to omit the duty, is worse than to do it with some coldness or hypocrisy, which is not the predominant complexion of the duty.
Object. But if it be not the fruit of the Spirit, it is not acceptable to God; and that which I force my tongue to, is none of the fruits of the Spirit. Therefore I must stay till the Spirit move me.
Answ. 1. There are many duties done by reason, and the common assistances of God, that are better than the total omission of them is. Else no unsanctified man should hear the word, or pray, or relieve the poor, or obey his prince or governors, or do any duty towards children or neighbours, because whatsoever is not the fruit of the special grace of the Spirit, is sin; and without faith it is impossible to please God; and all men have not faith, Heb. xi. 6; 2 Thess. iii. 2. 2. It is a distracted conceit of the quakers, and other fanatics, to think that reason and the Spirit of God are not conjunct principles in the same act. Doth the Spirit work on a man as on a beast or stone? and cause you to speak as a clock that striketh it knoweth not what? or play on man's soul, as on an instrument of music that hath neither knowledge of the melody, nor any pleasure in it? No, the Spirit of God supposeth nature, and worketh on man as man, by exciting your own understanding and will to do their parts. So that when, against all the remnant of dulness and backwardness that is in you, you can force yourselves to do your duty, it is because the Spirit of God assisteth you to take that resolution, and use that force. For thus the Spirit striveth against the flesh, Gal. v. 17; Rom. vii. 16-18. Though it is confessed, that there is more of the Spirit, where there is no backwardness or resistance, or need of forcing.
Direct. III. By all means labour to be furnished with understanding in the matters of God. For, 1. An understanding person hath a mine of holy matter in himself, and never is quite void of matter for good discourse. He is the good scribe, that is instructed to the kingdom of God, that bringeth out of his treasury things new and old, Matt. xiii. 52. 2. And an understanding person will speak discreetly, and so will much further the success of his discourse, and not make it ridiculous, contemptuous, or uneffectual through his indiscretion. But yet if you are ignorant and wanting in understanding, do not therefore be silent; for though your ability is least, your necessity is greatest. Let necessity therefore constrain you to ask instruction, as it constraineth the needy to beg for what they want. But spare no pains to increase your knowledge.
Direct. IV. If your own understandings and hearts do not furnish you with matter, have recourse to those manifold helps that God vouchsafeth you. As, 1. You may discourse of the last sermon that you heard, or some one lately preached that nearly touched you. 2. Or of something in the last book you read. 3. Or of some text of Scripture obvious to your thoughts. 4. Or of some notable (yea, or ordinary) providence which did lately occur. 5. Or of some examples of good or evil that are fresh before you. 6. Or of the right doing of the duty that you are about, or any such like helps.
Direct. V. Talk not of vain, unprofitable controversies, nor often of small, circumstantial matters that make but little to edification. For there may be idle talking about matters of religion, as well as about other smaller things. Especially see that the quarrels of the times engage not your thoughts and speeches too far, into a course of unprofitableness or contention.
Direct. VI. Furnish yourselves beforehand with matter for the most edifying discourse, and never go abroad empty. And let the matter be usually, 1. Things of weight, and not small matters. 2. Things of certainty, and not uncertain things. Particularly the fittest subjects for your ordinary discourse are these: 1. God himself, with his attributes, relations, and works. 2. The great mystery of man's redemption by Christ; his person, office, sufferings, doctrine, example, and work; his resurrection, ascension, glory, intercession, and all the privileges of his saints. 3. The covenant of grace, the promises, the duties, the conditions, and the threatenings. 4. The workings of the Spirit of Christ upon the soul, and every grace of the Spirit in us; with all the signs, and helps, and hinderances of it. 5. The ways and wiles of Satan, and all our spiritual enemies; the particular temptations which we are in danger of; what they are and how to avoid them, and what are the most powerful helps against them. 6. The corruption and deceitfulness of the heart; the nature and workings, effects, and signs of ignorance, unbelief, hypocrisy, pride, sensuality, worldliness, impiety, injustice, intemperance, uncharitableness, and every other sin; with all the helps against them all. 7. The many duties to God and man which we have to perform, both internal and external, and how to do them, and what are the chiefest hinderances and helps. (As in reading, hearing, meditating, prayer, giving alms, &c.) And the duties of our relations, and several places, with the contrary sins. 8. The vanity of the world, and deceitfulness of all earthly things. 9. The powerful reasons used by Christ to draw us to holiness, and the unreasonable madness of all that is brought against it, by the devil or by wicked men. 10. Of the sufferings which we must expect and be prepared for. 11. Of death, and the preparations that will then be found necessary; and how to make ready for so great a change. 12. Of the day of judgment, and who will then be justified, and who condemned. 13. Of the joys of heaven, the employment, the company, the nature, and duration. 14. Of the miseries of the damned, and the thoughts that they then will have of their former life on earth. 15. Of the state of the church on earth, and what we ought to do in our places for its welfare. Is there not matter enough in all these great and weighty points, for your hourly meditation and conference?
Direct. VII. Take heed of proud self-conceitedness in your conference. Speak not with supercilious, censorious confidence. Let not the weak take on them to be wiser than they are. Be readier to speak by way of question as learners, than as teachers of others, unless you are sure that they have much more need to be taught by you, than you by them. It is ordinary for novices in religion to cast all their discourse into a teaching strain, or to make themselves preachers before they understand. It is a most loathsome and pitiful hearing (and yet too ordinary) to hear a raw, self-conceited, ungrounded, unexperienced person to prate magisterially, and censure confidently the doctrine, or practices, or persons of those that are much better and wiser than themselves. If you meet with this proud, censorious spirit, rebuke it first, and read to them James iii.; and if they go on, turn away from them, and avoid them, for they know not what manner of spirit they are of: they serve not the Lord Jesus, whatever they pretend or think themselves, but are proud, knowing nothing, but doting about questions, and making divisions in the church of God, and ready to fall into the condemnation of the devil, 1 Tim. iii. 6; vi. 3-5; Rom. xvi. 17; Luke ix. 55.
Direct. VIII. Let the wisest in the company, and not the weakest, have most of the discourse: but yet if any one that is of an abler tongue than the rest, do make any determinations in doubtful, controverted points, take heed of a hasty receiving his judgment, let his reasons seem never so plausible or probable; but put down all such opinions as doubts, and move them to your teachers, or some other impartial, able men, before you entertain them. Otherwise, he that hath most wit and tongue in the company, might carry away all the rest into what error or heresy he please, and subvert their faith when he stops their mouths.
Direct. IX. Let the matter of your speech be suitable to your end, even to the good of yourselves or others, which you seek. The same subject that is fit for one company is very unfit for others. Learned men and ignorant men, pious men and profane men, are not fit for the same kind of discourse. The medicine must be carefully fitted to the disease.
Direct. X. Let your speech be seasonable, when prudence telleth you it is not like to do more harm than good. There is a season for the prudent to be silent, and refrain even from good talk, Amos v. 17; Psal. xxxix. 1, 2. "Cast not pearls before swine, and give not holy things to dogs, that you know will turn again and rend you," Matt. vii. 6. Yea, and among good people themselves, there is a time to speak, and a time to be silent, Eccles. iii. 7. There may possibly be such excess as tendeth to the tiring of the hearers; and more may be crammed in than they can digest; and surfeiting may make them loathe it afterwards. You must give none more than they can bear; and also the matters of your business and callings, must be talked of in their time and place.
Direct. XI. Let all your speech of holy things be with the greatest seriousness and reverence that you are able. Let the words be never so good, yet levity and rudeness may make them to be profane. God and holy things should not be talked of in a common manner; but the gravity of your speech should tell the hearers, that you take them not for small or common matters. If servants and others that live near together would converse and speak as the oracles of God, how holy, and heavenly, and happy would such families or societies be!
CHAPTER XVII.
DIRECTIONS FOR EACH PARTICULAR MEMBER OF THE FAMILY HOW TO SPEND EVERY ORDINARY DAY OF THE WEEK.
It somewhat tendeth to make a holy life more easy to us, when we know the ordinary course and method of our duties, and every thing falleth into its proper place; as it helpeth the husbandman or tradesman to know the ordinary course of his work, that he need not go out of it, unless in extraordinary cases. Therefore I shall here give you some brief directions for the holy spending of every day.
Direct. I. Proportion the time of your sleep aright, (if it be in your power,) that you waste not your precious morning hours sluggishly in your bed. Let the time of your sleep be rationally fitted to your health and labour, and not sensually to your slothful pleasure. About six hours is meet for healthful people, and seven hours for the less healthful, and eight for the more weak and aged, ordinarily. The morning hours are to most the preciousest of all the day, for all our duties; especially servants that are scanted of time, must take it then for prayer, if possible, lest they have none at all.
Direct. II. Let God have your first awaking thoughts: lift up your hearts to him reverently and thankfully for the rest of the night past, and briefly cast yourselves upon him for the following day; and use yourselves so constantly to this, that your consciences may check you, when common thoughts shall first intrude. And if you have a bed-fellow to speak to, let your first speech be agreeable to your thoughts. It will be a great help against the temptations that may else surprise you, and a holy engagement of your hearts to God, for all the day.
Direct. III. Resolve, that pride and the fashions of the times shall never tempt you into such a garb of attire, as will make you long in dressing you in the morning; but wear such clothing as is soon put on. It is dear-bought bravery (or decency as they will needs call it) which must cost every day an hour's or a quarter of an hour's time extraordinary: I had rather go as the wild Indians, than have those morning hours to answer for, as too many ladies and other gallants have.
Direct. IV. If you are persons of quality you may employ a child or servant to read a chapter in the Bible, while you are dressing you, and eating your breakfast (if you eat any). Else you may employ that time in some fruitful meditation, or conference with those about you, as far as your necessary occasions do give leave: as, to think or speak of the mercy of a night's rest, and of your renewed time, and how many spent that night in hell, and how many in prison, and how many in a colder, harder lodging, and how many in grievous pain and sickness, weary of their beds and of their lives, and how many in distracting terrors of their minds; and how many souls that night were called from their bodies, to appear before the dreadful God: and think how fast days and nights roll on! and how speedily your last night and day will come! and observe what is wanting in the readiness of your soul for such a time, and seek it presently without delay.
Direct. V. If more necessary duties call you not away, let secret prayer by yourself alone, or with your chamber-fellow, or both, go before the common prayers of the family; and delay it not causelessly, but if it may be, let it be first, before any other work of the day. Yet be not formal and superstitious to your hours, as if God had absolutely tied you to such a time: nor think it your duty to pray once in secret, and once with your chamber-fellow, and once with the family every morning, when more necessary duties call you off. That hour is best for one, which is worst for another: to most, private prayer is most seasonable as soon as they are up and clothed; to others some other hour may be more free and fit. And those persons that have not more necessary duties, may do well to pray at all the opportunities before mentioned; but reading and meditation must be allowed their time also; and the labours of your callings must be painfully followed; and servants and poor people that are not at liberty, or that have a necessity of providing for their families, may not lawfully take so much time for prayer, as some others may; especially the aged and weak that cannot follow a calling, may take longer time. And ministers, that have many souls to look after, and public work to do, must take heed of neglecting any of this, that they may be longer and oftener in private prayer. Always remember that when two duties are at once before you, and one must be omitted, that you prefer that which, all things considered, is the greatest; and understand what maketh a duty greatest. Usually that is greatest which tendeth to the greatest good; yet sometimes that is greatest at that time which cannot be done at another time, when others may. Praying, in itself considered, is better than ploughing, or marketing, or conference; and yet these may be greater than it in their proper seasons; because prayer may be done at another time, when these cannot.
Direct. VI. Let family worship be performed constantly and seasonably, twice a day, at that hour which is freest in regard of interruptions; not delaying it without just cause. But whenever it is performed, be sure it be reverently, seriously, and spiritually done. If greater duty hinder not, begin with a brief invocation of God's name, and craving of his help and blessing through Christ; and then read some part of the holy Scripture in order; and either help the hearers to understand it and apply it, or if you are unable for that, then read some profitable book to them for such ends; and sing a psalm, (if there be enough to do it fitly,) and earnestly pour out your souls in prayer. But if unavoidable occasions will not give way to all this, do what you can, especially in prayer, and do the rest another time; but pretend not necessity against any duty, when it is but unwillingness or negligence. The lively performance of family duties, is a principal means to keep up the power and interest of godliness in the world; which all decays when these grow dead, and slight, and formal.
Direct. VII. Renew the actual intention and remembrance of your ultimate end, when you set yourselves to your day's work, or set upon any notable business in the world. Let HOLINESS TO THE LORD be written upon your hearts in all that you do. Do no work which you cannot entitle God to, and truly say he set you about; and do nothing in the world for any other ultimate end, than to please, and glorify, and enjoy him. And remember that whatever you do, must be done as a means to these, and as by one that is that way going on to heaven. All your labour must be as the labour of a traveller, which is all for his journey's end; and all your respect or affection to any place or thing in your way, must be in respect to your attainment of the end; as a traveller loveth a good way, a good horse, a good inn, a dry cloak, or good company; but nothing must be loved here as your end or home. Lift up your hearts to heaven and say, If this work and way did not tend thither directly or indirectly, it were no work or way for me. Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God, 1 Cor. x. 31.
Direct. VIII. Follow the labours of your calling painfully and diligently. From hence will follow many commodities. 1. You will show that you are not sluggish, and servants to your flesh, as those that cannot deny its ease; and you will further the mortification of all fleshly lusts and desires, which are fed by ease and idleness. 2. You will keep out idle thoughts from your mind, which swarm in the minds of idle persons. 3. You will escape the loss of precious time, which idle persons are daily guilty of. 4. You will be in a course of obedience to God, when the slothful are in a constant sin of omission. 5. You may have the more time to spare for holy exercises, if you follow your labour close when you are at it; when idle persons can have no time for prayer or reading, because they lose it by loitering at their work, and leave their business still behind-hand. 6. You may expect God's blessing for the comfortable provision for yourselves and families, and to have to give to them that need, when the slothful are in want themselves, and cast by their want into abundance of temptations, and have nothing to do good with. 7. And it will also tend to the health of your bodies, which will make them the fitter for the service of your souls. When slothfulness wasteth time, and health, and estate, and wit, and grace, and all.[40]
Direct. IX. Be thoroughly acquainted with your corruptions and temptations, and watch against them all the day; especially the most dangerous sort of your corruptions, and those temptations which your company or business will unavoidably lay before you.[41] Be still watching and working against the master, radical sins of unbelief, hypocrisy, selfishness, pride, sensuality, or flesh-pleasing, and the inordinate love of earthly things. Take heed lest, under pretence of diligence in your calling, you be drawn to earthly-mindedness, and excessive cares or covetous designs for rising in the world. If you are to trade or deal with others, take heed of selfishness, which desireth to draw or save from others, as much as you can for yourselves and your own advantage; take heed of all that savoureth of injustice or uncharitableness in all your dealings with others. If you converse with vain talkers, be still provided against the temptation of vanity of talk. If you converse with angry persons, be still fortified against their provocations. If you converse with wanton persons, or such as are tempting those of the other sex, maintain that modesty and necessary distance and cleanness of speech which the laws of chastity require. If you have servants that are still faulty, be so provided against the temptation, that their faults may not make you faulty, and you may do nothing that is unseemly or unjust, but only that which tendeth to their amendment. If you are poor, be still provided against the temptations of poverty, that it bring not upon you an evil far greater than itself. If you are rich, be most diligent in fortifying your hearts against those more dangerous temptations of riches, which very few escape. If you converse with flatterers or those that much admire you, be fortified against swelling pride. If you converse with those that despise and injure you, be fortified against impatient, revengeful pride. These works at first will be very difficult, while sin is in any strength; but when you have got an habitual apprehension of the poisonous danger of every one of these sins, and of the tendency of all temptations, your hearts will readily and easily avoid them, without much tiring, thoughtfulness, and care; even as a man will pass by a house infected with the plague, or go out of the way, if he meet a cart or any thing that would hurt him.
Direct. X. When you are alone in your labours, improve the time in practical, fruitful (not speculative and barren) meditations; especially in heart work and heaven work: let your chiefest meditations be on the infinite goodness and perfections of God, and the life of glory, which in the love and praise of him you must live for ever; and next let Christ, and the mysteries of grace in man's redemption, be the matter of your thoughts; and next that your own hearts and lives, and the rest before expressed, chap. xvi. direct. vi. If you are able to manage meditations methodically it will be best; but if you cannot do that, without so much striving as will confound you, and distract you, and cast you into melancholy, it is better let your meditations be more short and easy, like ejaculatory prayers; but let them usually be operative to do some good upon your hearts.
Direct. XI. If you labour in company with others, be provided with matter, skill, resolution, and zeal, to improve the time in profitable conference, and to avoid diversions, as is directed, chap. xvi.
Direct. XII. Whatever you are doing, in company or alone, let the day be spent in the inward excitation and exercise of the graces of the soul, as well as in external bodily duties. And to that end know, that there is no external duty, but must have some internal grace to animate it, or else it is but an image or carcass, and unacceptable to God. When you are praying and reading, there are the graces of faith, desire, love, repentance, &c. to be exercised there: when you are alone, meditation may help to actuate any grace as you find most needful: when you are conferring with others, you must exercise love to them, and love to that truth about which you do confer, and other graces as the subject shall require: when you are provoked or under suffering you have patience to exercise. But especially it must be your principal daily business, by the exercise of faith, to keep your hearts warm in the love of God and your dear Redeemer, and in the hopes and delightful thoughts of heaven. As the means are various and admit of deliberation and choice, because they are to be used but as means, and not all at once, but sometimes one, and sometimes another, when the end is still the same and past deliberation or choice; so all those graces which are but means, must be used thus variously, and with deliberation and choice; when the love of God and of eternal life must be the constant tenor and constitution of the mind, as being the final grace, which consisteth with the exercise of every other mediate grace. Never take up with lip-labour or bodily exercise alone, nor barren thoughts, unless your hearts be also employed in a course of duty, and holy breathings after God, or motion towards him, or in the sincere internal part of the duty which you perform to men: justice and love are graces which you must still exercise towards all that you have to deal with in the world. Love is called the fulfilling of the law, Rom. xiii. 10; because the love of God and man is the soul of every outward duty, and a cause that will bring forth these as its effects.
Direct. XIII. Keep up a high esteem of time; and be every day more careful that you lose none of your time, than you are that you lose none of your gold or silver; and if vain recreations, dressings, feastings, idle talk, unprofitable company, or sleep, be any of them temptations to rob you of any of your time, accordingly heighten your watchfulness and firm resolutions against them. Be not more careful to escape thieves and robbers, than to escape that person, or action, or course of life, that would rob you of any of your time. And for the redeeming of time, especially see, not only that you be never idle, but also that you be doing the greatest good that you can do, and prefer not a less before a greater.
Direct. XIV. Eat and drink with temperance and thankfulness; for health, and not for unprofitable pleasure. For quantity, most carefully avoid excess; for many exceed, for one that taketh too little. Never please your appetite in meat or drink, when it tendeth to the detriment of your health. Prov. xxxi. 4, 6, "It is not for kings to drink wine, nor for princes strong drink.—Give strong drink to him that is ready to perish, and wine to those that be of heavy hearts." Eccles. x. 16, 17, "Woe to thee, O land, when thy king is a child, and thy princes eat in the morning! Blessed art thou, O land, when thy king is the son of nobles, and thy princes eat in due season, for strength and not for drunkenness!" Then must poorer men also take heed of intemperance and excess. Let your diet incline rather to the coarser than the finer sort, and to the cheaper than the costly sort, and to sparing abstinence than to fulness. I would advise rich men especially, to write in great letters on the walls of their dining-rooms or parlours these two sentences: Ezek. xvi. 49, "BEHOLD, THIS WAS THE INIQUITY OF SODOM, PRIDE, FULNESS OF BREAD, AND ABUNDANCE OF IDLENESS WAS IN HER, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy." Luke xvi. 19, 25, "There was a certain rich man which was CLOTHED IN PURPLE AND SILK, AND FARED SUMPTUOUSLY every day.—Son, remember that thou in thy lifetime receivedst thy good things." Paul wept when he mentioned them, "whose end is destruction, whose god is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame, who mind earthly things, being enemies to the cross," Phil. iii. 18, 19.[42] O live not after the flesh, lest ye die, Rom. viii. 13; Gal. vi. 8; v. 21, 23, 24.
Direct. XV. If any temptation prevail against you, and you fall into any sins besides common infirmities, presently lament it, and confess not only to God, but to men, when confession conduceth more to good than harm; and rise by a true and thorough repentance, immediately without delay. Spare not the flesh, and daub not over the breach, and do not by excuses palliate the sore, but speedily rise, whatever it cost; for it will certainly cost you more to go on or to remain impenitent. And for your ordinary infirmities, make not too light of them, but confess them, and daily strive against them; and examine what strength you get against them, and do not aggravate them by impenitence and contempt.
Direct. XVI. Every day look to the special duties of your several relations: whether you are husbands, wives, parents, children, masters, servants, pastors, people, magistrates, subjects, remember that every relation hath its special duty, and its advantage for the doing of some good; and that God requireth your faithfulness in these, as well as in any other duty. And that in these a man's sincerity or hypocrisy is usually more tried, than in any other parts of our lives.
Direct. XVII. In the evening return to the worshipping of God, in the family and in secret, as was directed for the morning. And do all with seriousness, as in the sight of God, and in the sense of your necessities; and make it your delight to receive instructions from the holy Scripture, and praise God, and call upon his name through Christ.
Direct. XVIII. If you have any extraordinary impediments one day to hinder you in your duty to God and man, make it up by diligence the next; and if you have any extraordinary helps, make use of them, and let them not overslip you. As, if it be a lecture-day, or a funeral sermon, or you have opportunity of converse with men of extraordinary worth; or if it be a day of humiliation or thanksgiving; it may be expected that you gather a double measure of strength by such extraordinary helps.
Direct. XIX. Before you betake yourselves to sleep, it is ordinarily a safe and needful course, to take a review of the actions and mercies of the past day; that you may be specially thankful for all special mercies, and humbled for your sins, and may renew your repentance and resolutions for obedience, and may examine yourselves, whether your souls grow better or worse, and whether sin go down and grace increase, and whether you are any better prepared for sufferings and death. But yet waste not too much time in the ordinary accounts of your life, as those that neglect their duty while they are examining themselves how they perform it, and perplexing themselves with the long perusal of their ordinary infirmities. But by a general (yet sincere) repentance, bewail your unavoidable daily failings, and have recourse to Christ for a daily pardon and renewed grace; and in case of extraordinary sins or mercies, be sure to be extraordinarily humbled or thankful. Some think it best to keep a daily catalogue or diurnal of their sins and mercies. If you do so, be not too particular in the enumeration of those that are the matter of every day's return; for it will be but a temptation to waste your time, and neglect greater duty, and to make you grow customary and senseless of such sins and mercies, when the same come to be recited over and over from day to day. But let the common mercies be more generally recorded, and the common sins generally confessed (yet neither of them therefore slighted); and let the extraordinary mercies, and greater sins, have a more particular observation. And yet remember, that sins and mercies, which it is not fit that others be acquainted with, are safelier committed to memory than to writing: and methinks, a well humbled and a thankful heart should not easily let the memory of them slip.
Direct. XX. When you compose yourselves to sleep, again commit yourselves to God through Christ, and crave his protection, and close up the day with some holy exercise of faith and love. And if you are persons that must needs lie waking in the night, let your meditations be holy, and exercised upon that subject that is profitablest to your souls. But I cannot give this as an ordinary direction, because that the body must have sleep, or else it will be unfit for labour, and all thoughts of holy things must be serious; and all serious thoughts will hinder sleep, and those that wake in the night, do wake unwillingly, and would not put themselves out of hopes of sleep; which such serious meditations would do. Nor can I advise you (ordinarily) to rise in the night to prayer, as the papists' votaries do. For this is but to serve God with irrational and hurtful ceremony; and it is a wonder how far such men will go in ceremony, that will not be drawn to a life of love and spiritual worship. Unless men did irrationally place the service of God in praying this hour rather than another, they might see how improvidently and sinfully they lose their time, in twice dressing and undressing, and in the intervals of their sleep, when they might spare all that time, by sitting up the longer, or rising the earlier, for the same employment. Besides what tendency it hath to the destruction of health, by cold and interruption of necessary rest; when God approveth not of the disabling of the body, or destroying our health, or shortening life (no more than of murder or cruelty to others); but only calleth us to deny our unnecessary, sensual delights, and use the body so as it may be most serviceable to the soul and him.
I have briefly laid together these twenty directions for the right spending of every day, that those that need them, and cannot remember the larger more particular directions, may at least get these few engraven on their minds, and make them the daily practice of their lives; which if you will sincerely do, you cannot conceive how much it will conduce to the holiness, fruitfulness, and quietness of your lives, and to your peaceful and comfortable death.