CHAP. XXIV.

Our Extravagant puts a notable cheat upon a Merchant for 100l. He and one of his Companions being at a Washerwomans see her handsomly revenged on a Bayliff.

Our Extravagant being Master of this Money, and knowing the difficulty of getting more, was resolved to look out betimes. He was drinking with some Friends at a Tavern neer the Exchange, London, and it being the busie time of the day, Exchange time, several Companies were put into one Room though at several Tables: He was not so busie in attending the discourse of his own Company, but that he gave great attention to what was said by that Company who sat at the next table. He soon understood that their discourse was about Money; and that one of the Company expected Two Hundred Pounds to be paid him by and by. He hearing that there was business of that consequence began to contrive within himself, how he might be Master of some of it; many contrivances he had, and many fancies ran in his brain, but none would do, none would take at present, however he and his Company still drank on, and that so long that the promised 200l. was brought thither and paid to the Person, who was there ready to receive it. The Money being paid, he who was now Master of it, delivers it to a servant that attended him, and ordered him to carry it home, and deliver it to his Mistres, he further observed that this Money was intended to be suddainly paid away again, for part of a Ship, which he then agreed with one of the Company to buy of him; and also he observed that the next day all the Company were to meet there again to participate of a Collation that the Person who had received the Money was to bestow on the rest. All these passages, and several others, as their Names, and the qualities of most of the Persons there present, he gained from the discourse he had heard. He being thus instructed was resolved to try his wits to the utmost, and if possible be Master of some of this Money, and that without the help, advice, or assistance of any other. He beats his brains about it all that night, and the next day making himself as spruce and fine as he could, and being laden with the rich Cargoe of Twenty pieces of Gold, and sufficient spending Money besides, he sailed on to the Exchange, and there knowing several of the Yesterdays Company both by sight and name, he soon found out the Person who was to sell part of the Ship, and understanding that he was a Sea-Captain, who wanted Owners, he bore up to him, and tels him that he was willing to hold a part with him, whereupon the Captain invites him to their intended Dinner, and he accepting the invitation, and being come thither upon a farther discourse, he seemed pretty well content with the bargain, and told the Captain that at the next days Exchange he would resolve him about it. Their discourse being ended, Dinner was called for but it not being yet ready, he who was the Invitor seemed to be very angry for the delay, for said he, I commanded it to be ready between One and Two, and now by my Watch it is between Two and Three, our Merchant seeing a Watch drawn, said, I pray Sir let me see it, and having it in his hand, highly commended it for its richness and good workmanship, for it had two Gold Cases, and desired to know the Price what it did cost, the Owner replyed Twenty Pound, I like it so well, replyed our Merchant, that I wish I had such another for the Price, (and continued he to the Owner) I shall be much obliged to you, if you will lend it me for One Hour or Two, to shew it to my Watchmaker, who is now in hand with one for me; and Sir, that you may assure your self of the return of it to you, here is Twenty Pieces of good old Gold, I will leave in your hands: When would you have it, replyed the Owner, even just now, said our Merchant, for I must needs step home instantly, and I can call on my Watch-maker, by the way, and when I return to you hither, which I promise you shall be within two Hours, I will bring it and return it you. I, but Sir, said the Captain, I hope you will not leave us, but stay and Dine here, indeed I cannot, said our Merchant you must pardon me at present, an urgent affair calls me, but in Two Hours I shall have dispatched it, and then I will return and drink a Glass of Wine with you. The Owner of the Watch seeing that he made these excuses, and not distrusting his Watch, as he had little reason to do, because he had more than the worth in his hands, delivered the Watch to our Counterfeit, who takes his leave, and calling a Coach, caused the Coach-man to drive directly to the house of the owner of the Watch; when he came there, he asked for the good Woman, and without any circumstantial discourse, tells her that he left her Husband in such a Tavern, with such Company, and that he had gone through with his bargain about the Sixteenth part of such a Ship; that the Sum agreed upon was 100l. that the Captain who was to receive it had ordered it to him, who was now come for it; and Mistress (said he) I should give you such sufficient tokens for the delivery of it, as I hope you will do it without any distrust. Therefore in the first place, said he, the 100l. I must have, is part of 200l. your Husband did receive yesterday, and sent home to you by your Servant, and to convince you of the truth of all, as an infallible token, I have here brought your Husband’s Watch, and thereupon he drew it out, and shew’d it to her. She knowing that all he had said was true, and viewing the watch, & knowing that to be the same, and finding that he told his tale without any hesitation, stopping, or stamering, did not at all distrust him, but went up stairs & fetcht down the Money. He ordered the Coach-man to drive him to his Quarters, and there he secured the Money, and thanked his Stars for thus favourably assisting him in this affair, where he had come off without so much as a Rub, and that better than he expected, for he did suppose that to purchase this 100l. it would have cost him the Twenty Pieces of Gold,for he expected that the good Woman would have desired him to leave the Watch behind with her, as her warrant for the delivery of the Money, which if she had, he could not have refused it, and now he had Money and Watch too, wherefore having had so good success he was resolved to try his good fortune a little further, and therefore away he went to the Tavern, where he had left the Captain and Owner of the Watch.

They had hardly Dined, so that he had part of a good Dinner, was welcomed by all the Company, who in his absence had enquired of one another, who this unknown Merchant was, and seeing him so full of Gold, they doubted not his ability, but they were resolved to treat him handsomely, which they did, and the Dinner being ended, he redelivered the Watch, and received back his Gold, with a Complement from the Owner, that he begg’d his pardon for taking any thing as an engagement, and desiring his further acquaintance; but Dinner being ended, and a good quantity of Wine brush’d off, they promising to meet the next day at the Exchange, departed, I suppose they all did meet, especially the owner of the Watch, to enquire of the Captain, for his Merchant, and also the Captain, to conclude his begun bargain with our Counterfeit Merchant, but he, although he had made them a fair promise to meet, yet he came not there, he had other Eggs on the Spit, his affairs lay now at the other end of the Town, and although he had made as profitable a bargain the last Exchange-time, as most Merchants that came thither, yet he had no mind to return thither in hast. But with all the hast he could, he removed his Money and Quarters to the other end of the Town, and that he might pass the more securely undiscovered; he left off his Merchant-like habit, wherein he had performed his exploit, and put on Cloaths more modish and gallant, with a Sword and Belt, and large Perriwig, in this disguise he passed without any discovery, by those who sought out for him, but one of his Extravagant acquaintance meeting him, although thus accoutred, soon knew him, and believing that some Extraordinary adventure had fallen out, was very desirous to be acquainted with it, wherefore that they might compare notes together, they put in to the next Tavern, our Extravagant’s Companion saw by this disguisement, that there was somewhat in the wind, somewhat extraordinary had befallen him, and withall that he was shy in declaring it, wherefore to the end that he might induce him, to tell him how squares went with him, he told him that he had had a very luck since they parted last; for, said he, I met with a brave Prize within these two days which I carried off with very little hazard or danger, and this it was, I was sauntring about the streets, to see and observe where I might get a purchase, and at length I observed a Coach was called for, it was neer Aldgate, and it was just about the dusk of the Evening, I having nothing else to do, resolved to see what Company was to go in the Coach, and therefore waited not long, but saw it was only a Woman and a Child, and withall there was two bundles of Linnen. I seeing there was no more Company, was resolv’d to be Master of one of those bundles, neither did I question to do it with ease enough, I observed which way the Coach drove, and went along with it. There was so many Passengers with Lanthorns, Links and Torches walking backwards and forwards, that I was forced to Laquey this Woman till the Coach had brought her to the Stocks in the Poultrey, there observing it to be a narrow dark place, and no lights neer me, and having my purchase in my eye, I soon had it in my hand and slapt it under my Coat.

The Woman saw me seize it, and therefore cryed out immediately, but the Coachman not presently hearing of her, and he driving on towards Cheapside, I thought it would be necessary for me to march off another way, and so I did, returning back again, but not the very same way we had come, that is, down Cornhil, but now returning back by Lombardstreet, I did hear the Woman cry out, Hold Coachman, I am rob’d! but I suppose he driving one way, and I running another, I was got to Gracious-street, and he to Cheapside before he stopt, and so then it was to no purpose to look after me, for I soon crossed London Bridge, and went to my old Quarters in Southwark; when I came there I undid my fardle, but it was filled with such a parcel, as I understood very little, I think there was 100 several pieces of fowl Linnen, which upon examination, I found to be Childbed Linnen, and withall there was Blankets and Mantles, but above all there was the Unum necessarium, a parcel of good ready Money, Ten Pieces of good old Gold, and Five Pounds in Silver, the sight of this pleased my eyes, and I thanked my stars for my good fortune. Although (continued he) I knew not so well what to do with the Linnen, as I did with the money, yet I knew it was too good to be thrown away, and that it would fetch good ready money, but in the pickle it was in, I thought it not convenient to offer it to sell, wherefore I resolved to have it washed, and in order thereto, said he, I am now going to an old acquaintance, a Woman who gets the best part of her living by washing and starching, and I intend to intrust her not only to wash and starch, but also to sell this Commodity for me. And (this concluded he) is my business at present, and now I have told you mine, I pray acquaint me with yours.

Our Extravagant understanding from his acquaintance, that he had lately gained a Prize, and by that concluding that he was not in want of money, so that he was not obliged to impart any of his Prize to him, which is a customary thing between Persons of that quality, he therefore without much perswasions acquainted him with his late good fortune in the adventure of the 100l.

This discourse us’d, the business of drinking being over, our Extravagant’s Companion desired him to go with him a little way to the old Laundress, he spake of, that he might deliver his Pack of smal things to her ordering and dispose, he was not hard to be entreated, wherefore away they went together. But when they came there, they found the old Woman all in tears, for she being in debt a Sum of Money, that she was not able to pay, and an Attachment having been brought against her Goods, she not having Money or skill to defend the Suit, her adversary had obtained Judgement against her, and thereupon the execution was deliver’d into the Bayliffs hands, who at this very minute that our Extravagants came, was come also to seize the Goods, and this was the occasion of the old Womans Lamentation.

She gave the Bayliff all the good words she could, and they not prevailing, she fell to railing and scolding, but it was all one to him, he minded her not, but proceeded in executing his Office, and delivered out to his Man all the poor Womans goods, one piece after another, and there was nothing now remaining, but a kittle which stood on a Trevet over the Fire, and the Utensils of the Chimney. He told her he must have the Kettle, but she might take out the Cloathes, she saying they were none of hers, but she refusing to empty the Kettle, he took it off from the Fire, and threw the water and Cloathes that was in it about the house. The old Woman seeing this, and being resolved to be revenged on him, took the Tongs in her hands, and with them took up the Trevet, which was red hot, and lifting it up, clapt it about the Bayliffs neck, saying, Since you will have all, then you shall have all. He was quickly so sensible of the fire, that he roared and cryed out like a Mad-man, and believing that it would burn him to death, for it had already made his flesh fry, to save his Neck and Shoulders, was forced to take it hot as it was, into his hands, to throw it off: This adventure was like to have proved Tragical to the hard-hearted Bayliff, who with much difficulty disingaged himself. But our two Extravagants were extreamly well-pleased with the Washer-womans Revenge, as we hope the Reader will be; and now we shall put an end to this Fourth Part: And, if (as we hope) you are pleased with what is already written, we shall in short time give you greater pleasure and satisfaction in the Continuation of our Extravagants adventures, which shall be fully finished in a Fifth and Last Part.

FINIS.

Transcriber’s Note.

While acknowledging the author’s sentiment in the Preface regarding errors, spelling in that era was extremely variable, and any corrections made here were limited to the most obvious lapses. As the table below will show, ‘e/c’, and ‘u/n’ errors, as well as doubled words, were most common.

The word ‘Gaol’ is printed interchangeably as ‘Goal’, and all such instances are retained.

Due to the variability of hyphenation, where a hyphenation occurs on a line or page break, the hyphen is retained or removed based on the preponderance of the same word elsewhere. Where there are no other or similar instances, the decision was based on modern usage.

The following table summarizes the issues encountered, and their resolution:

[ii.24]As to the verity of those ingenio[n/u]s Exploits,Replaced.
[14.2]a large [M/D]ish of most incomparableReplaced.
[22.6][e/c]onfession at the Gallows of all her formerReplaced.
[24.1]a Merchant of Naples, pay[a]ableRemoved.
[45.14]I took exact noti[e/c]e of his Unkles name,Replaced.
[102.15]finally co[n/u]nselling meReplaced.
[108.20]but first I[ I] plumm’d the depth of the VaultRemoved.
[123.1][(]which proved to be a Practice of Piety)Added.
[124.18]yo[n/u]r walkReplaced.
[133.12]if I were aloft, a[ ]head, or abaftAdded.
[136.8]was deeply musing [m/w]ith myselfReplaced.
[138.18]I laying them [caresly] upon the Dressersic
[140.24]lasht me with [VV/W]hipcordRecorded.
[143.11]till we set Sail.[’]Added.
[152.27]daring to s[h/t]ay longer in LondonReplaced.
[165.13]nor encouraging as the Anabaptists; and finding that [that]Removed.
[184.18]expensive Courts[t/h]ip,Replaced.
[204.8]against Shadwell-Do[e/c]k.Replaced.
[212.4]I knew qui[e/c]klyReplaced.
[215.27]won threescore and upward[,/.]Replaced.
[216.2]those ill [i/t]idings,Replaced.
[220.33]an errant piece of impuden[e/c]eReplaced.
[222.15]prosecuti[u/n]g his more serious affairsReplaced.
[223.1]to increase their [fl/st]oreReplaced.
[224.34]who was [not] only well clientedsic Missing?
[227.14]Ames[, /-]Ace,Replaced.
[236.16]A Gentlem[e/a]n who was well storedReplaced.
[258.6]at great Cost and Charges[./,] in the Provision aforesaidReplaced.
[266.28]to the place w[h]ere our Old Fellow wasAdded.
[270.4]our young mans FatherRemoved.
[294.4]her best Wea[l]th;Added.
[311.12]Sword and Belt, Half-Shirts[,] Bands, Caravats,Added.
[312.3]came to our Extrav[a]gant to examine him privatelyAdded.