LAUREAT ELECTION.
[The following Account, though modestly stiled a Hasty Sketch, according to the known delicacy of the Editorial Style, is in fact A Report, evidently penned by the hand of a Master.]
HASTY SKETCH of Wednesday’s Business at the LORD CHAMBERLAIN’S
OFFICE.
In consequence of the late general notice, given by public advertisement, of an open election for the vacant office of Poet Laureat to their Majesties, on the terms of Probationary Compositions, a considerable number of the most eminent characters in the fashionable world assembled at the Lord Chamberlain’s Office, Stable-yard, St. James’s, on Wednesday last, between the hours of twelve and two, when Mr. Ramus was immediately dispatched to Lord Salisbury’s, acquainting his Lordship therewith, and soliciting his attendance to receive the several candidates, and admit their respective tenders. His Lordship arriving in a short time after, the following Noblemen and Gentlemen were immediately presented to his Lordship by John Calvert, Jun. Esq. in quality of Secretary to the office. James Eley, Esq. and Mr. Samuel Betty, attended also as first and second Clerk, the following list of candidates was made out forthwith, and duly entered on the roll, as a preliminary record to the subsequent proceedings.
The Right Rev. Dr. William Markham, Lord Archbishop of York.
The Right Hon. Edward, Lord Thurlow, Lord High Chancellor of Great
Britain.
The Most Noble James, Marquis of Graham.
The Right Hon. Harvey Redmond, Visc. Montmorres, of the kingdom of
Ireland.
The Right Hon. Constantine, Lord Mulgrave, ditto.
The Right Hon. Henry Dundas.
Sir George Howard, K.B.
Sir Cecil Wray, Baronet.
Sir Joseph Mawbey, ditto.
Sir Richard Hill, ditto.
Sir Gregory Page Turner, ditto.
The Rev. William Mason, B.D.
The Rev. Thomas Warton, B.D.
The Rev. George Prettyman, D.D.
The Rev, Joseph Warton, D.D.
Pepper Arden, Esq. Attorney-General to his Majesty.
Michael Angelo Taylor, Esq. M.P.
James M‘Pherson, Esq. ditto.
Major John Scott, ditto.
Nath. William Wraxhall, Esq. ditto.
Mons. Le Mesurier, Membre du Parlement d’Angleterre.
The several candidates having taken their places at a table provided for the occasion, the Lord Chamberlain, in the politest manner, signified his wish that each candidate would forthwith recite some sample of his poetry as he came provided with for the occasion; at the same time most modestly confessing his own inexperience in all such matters, and intreating their acquiescence therefore in his appointment of his friend Mr. Delpini, of the Hay-Market Theatre, as an active and able assessor on so important an occasion. Accordingly, Mr. Delpini being immediately introduced, the several candidates proceeded to recite their compositions, according to their rank and precedence in the above list—both his Lordship and his assessor attended throughout the whole of the readings with the profoundest respect, and taking no refreshment whatsoever, except some China oranges and biscuit, which were also handed about to the company by Mr. John Secker, Clerk of the Houshold, and Mr. William Wise, Groom of the Buttery.
At half after five, the readings being completed, his Lordship and Mr. Delpini retired to an adjoining chamber; Mrs. Elizabeth Dyer, Keeper of the Butter and Egg Office, and Mr. John Hook, Deliverer of Greens, being admitted to the candidates with several other refreshments suitable to the fatigue of the day. Two Yeomen of the Mouth and a Turn-broacher attended likewise; and indeed every exertion was made to conduct the little occasional repast that followed with the utmost decency and convenience; the whole being at the expence of the Crown, notwithstanding every effort to the contrary on the part of Mr. Gilbert.
At length the awful moment arrived, when the detur digniori was finally to be pronounced on the busy labours of the day—never did Lord Salisbury appear to greater advantage—never did his assessor more amusingly console the discomfitures of the failing candidates—every thing that was affable, every thing that was mollifying, was ably expressed by both the judges; but poetical ambition is not easily allayed. When the fatal fiat was announced in favour of the Rev. Thomas Warton, a general gloom overspread the whole society—a still and awful silence long prevailed. At length Sir Cecil Wray started up, and emphatically pronounced a scrutiny! a scrutiny!—A shout of applause succeeded—in vain did the incomparable Buffo introduce his most comic gestures—in vain was his admirable leg pointed horizontally at every head in the room—a scrutiny was demanded—and a scrutiny was granted. In a word, the Lord Chamberlain declared his readiness to submit the productions of the day to the inspection of the public, reserving nevertheless to himself and his assessor, the full power of annulling or establishing the sentence already pronounced. It is in consequence of the above direction, that we shall now give the public the said PROBATIONARY VERSES, commencing with those, however, which are the production of such of the candidates as most vehemently insisted on the right of appeal, conceiving such priority to be injustice granted to the persons whose public spirit has given so lucky a turn to this poetical election. According to the above order, the first composition that we lay before the public is the following:—
NUMBER I.
IRREGULAR ODE.
The WORDS by SIR CECIL WRAY, BART.
The SPELLING by Mr. GROJAN, Attorney at Law.
HARK! hark!—hip! hip!—hoh! hoh!
What a mort of bards are a-singing!
Athwart—across—below——
I’m sure there’s a dozen a dinging!
I hear sweet Shells, loud Harps, large Lyres—
Some, I trow, are tun’d by Squires—
Some by Priests, and some by Lords!—while Joe and I
Our bloody hands, hoist up, like meteors, on high!
Yes, Joe and I
Are em’lous—Why?
It is because, great CÆSAR, you are clever—
Therefore we’d sing of you for ever!
Sing—sing—sing—sing
God save the King!
Smile then, CÆSAR, smile on Wray!
Crown at last his poll with bay!——
Come, oh! bay, and with thee bring
Salary, illustrious thing!——
Laurels vain of Covent-garden,
I don’t value you a farding!——
Let sack my soul cheer
For ’tis sick of small beer!
CÆSAR! CÆSAR! give it—do!
Great CÆSAR giv’t all, for my Muse ’doreth you!—
Oh fairest of the Heavenly Nine,
Enchanting Syntax, Muse divine!
Whether on Phœbus’ hoary head,
By blue-ey’d Rhadamanthus led,
Or with young Helicon you stray,
Where mad Parnassus points the way;—
Goddess of Elizium’s hill,
Descend upon my Pæan’s quill.——
The light Nymph hears—no more
By Pegasus’ meand’ring shore,
Ambrosia playful boy,
Plumbs her jene scai quoi!——
I mount!—I mount!—
I’m half a Lark—I’m half an Eagle!
Twelve stars I count——
I see their dam— she is a Beagle!
Ye Royal little ones,
I love your flesh and bones—
You are an arch, rear’d with immortal stones!
Hibernia strikes his harp!
Shuttle, fly!—woof! wed! warp!
Far, far, from me and you,
In latitude North 52.—
Rebellion’s hush’d,
The merchant’s flush’d;—
Hail, awful Brunswick, Saxe-Gotha, hail!
Not George, but Louis, now shall turn his tail!
Thus, I a-far from mad debate,
Like an old wren,
With my good hen,
Or a young gander,
Am a by-stander,
To all the peacock pride, and vain regards of state!—
Yet if the laurel prize,
Dearer than my eyes,
Curs’d Warton tries
For to surprize,
By the eternal God I’ll SCRUTINIZE!
NUMBER II.
ODE ON THE NEW YEAR,
By LORD MULGRAVE.