MARRIAGE ON EARTH AND IN HEAVEN.

The Hymeneal Tie in the Spirit World grows out of the necessity of the Connubial Union in the Mundane Sphere. “Free love” imputation refuted.[19]

1075. Some peculiar views respecting marriage, which are not consistent with the ideas of female delicacy and chastity heretofore entertained, have been designated by the name of “Free Love,” and have been commented on as proceeding from the spirit world. I am happy to say that, agreeably to the impressions which I have derived from my spirit friends, any doctrine, having a tendency of the kind thus described, would be at least as much censured in the spirit world as in this. As the best mode of removing this groundless imputation on Spiritualism, I will state the impressions which I entertain on the subject of marriage.

1076. Among the sources of happiness in the spirit world much insisted on is that resulting from a combined union of those really created for each other. The marriage contracted in this world, loses its binding power in the spirit world, yet may endure if mutually desired. If a husband has had several wives, or a wife several husbands, the tie endures only between the most congenial pair.[20]

1077. Sexual association is the means throughout nature by which the perpetuation of species is effected. But that this association may exist among human beings without degradation, it is manifestly necessary that it should not be indiscriminate. Not only delicacy, modesty, and the cultivation of congenial affection, but likewise the interests of offspring, require that the parents and children should form one family. The welfare of children, their equal duty to both parents, and natural affections between the parents and their children, must make a separation painful to all parties, however affection may have declined between the husband and wife, on the part of either or both.

1078. Hence, in the mundane sphere, the perpetuation of the human race consistently with decorum, and the welfare of offspring, and the happiness of the parties, especially the mother and wife, seems to be the great object of matrimony. In the spheres it is difficult to perceive how any motives of equally high importance can exist. It must be that connubial union in the spirit world rather grows out of marriage in this world, in order to fill up the void in the heart which might otherwise arise from our mundane habits. It would seem as if it were a benevolent indemnification for celibacy, or for the miseries so often resulting from the connubial state in this world, consequent, like the sufferings of child-bearing, to the perpetuation of mankind.

1079. It seems to me an error to suppose that the terrestrial marriage can be a secondary object with God, when the important part which it performs is taken into view.

1080. Incapacity to maintain a family often renders it impossible for those who would marry to come together, and worldly motives induce marriages, even when disgust or indifference may exist on the part of one, if not on that of both the parties.

1081. It seems, moreover, even where marriage actually results from the passion of love, that it is more or less the consequence of a species of hallucination, through which lovers deck an object with all that they would wish to exist in the way of merit, and feel toward them an affection proportionate to their own capacity to love, rather than of the degree of power in the object, reasonably to excite such intense partiality. It is thus that the love of the mother to the child she believes to be her own, will be powerful in proportion to her own capacity for maternal love, rather than of the child to excite love; since though it be a monster, and not really her own child, but fraudulently substituted therefor, it will cause no diminution of her maternal devotion.

1082. It is the impression on the mind that determines the object to which the passion is directed; the character of the being actuated by the passion, which determines its strength.

1083. But where to all those qualifications which would create friendship between persons of the same sex, the peculiar emotions which take place between those of different sexes are superadded, those who come together in this world under the hymeneal tie, may find it something more than a mere civil contract, and not terminated by death. Moreover, independently of the original passion, there arises an affection which is justly distinguished as conjugal, and which differs from the other in this highly important particular, that it is founded on a thorough reciprocal knowledge, instead of that ignorance which too often accompanies attachments produced by the arrows of the blind god, as Cupid is sometimes designated with figurative consistency.

1084. Having always supposed that independently of the emotions peculiar to the sexes, there could only be friendship between a man and woman like that which would exist between a brother and sister, I am at a loss to understand what it can be which, in the spiritual state of existence, can induce indissoluble marriage.

1085. On submitting the suggestions comprised in the preceding statement to the spirit to whom I owe much information, herein quoted, and to the spirit of a most intimate male friend, by both it was alleged that peculiar emotions were attendant on sexual affection in the spheres, as well as on earth, so far as consistent with the absence of that which exists in common with brutes.