CHAPTER III
I spent a very heavy evening before I went to bed; and when I was there I could not sleep; for it appeared to me that I had made a great fool of myself, having injured my own prospects and done no good to anyone. I understood perfectly that I had acted in an unpardonable manner; for Her Majesty's Maids of Honour were kept, or were supposed to be kept, in very great seclusion at home, as if they were Vestal virgins—which was indeed a very great supposition. Tale after tale came back to my mind of those Maids in the past—of Mademoiselle de la Garde herself, of Miss Stewart, Miss Hyde, Miss Hamilton, and others like them—some of whom were indeed good, but had the greatest difficulty in remaining so; for the Court of Charles was a terrible place for virtue. It was astonishing to me that the horror of the place had not before this affected me; but it is always so. We are very philosophical, always, over the wrongs that do not touch ourselves.
As to how my Cousin Dolly came to be in such a place, I began to think that I understood. It must all have dated from that unhappy visit of the Duke of Monmouth to Hare Street; my Cousin Tom must have followed up that strange introduction, and the affair must have been worked through Her Grace of Portsmouth. I think I could have taken my Cousin Tom by the throat, and choked him, as I thought of this.
Meantime I had no idea as to what I should do the next day—except, indeed, see His Majesty, and say, perhaps, one tenth of what I felt. I had told Dolly we should ride at noon next day; I was beginning to wonder whether this prediction would be fulfilled. Yet, though I had begun to consider myself more than in the first flush, I still felt my anger rise in me like a tide whenever I regarded the bare facts. But mere anger would never do; and I set myself to drive it down. Besides, it would be there, I knew, and ready, if I should need it on the next day.
* * * * *
When I arrived at Mr. Chiffinch's the next morning, I found him in a very grave mood. He did not rise as I came in, but nodded to me, only.
"Sit down, Mr. Mallock," said he. "This is a very serious affair."
"So I think," I said.
He waved that away.
"His Majesty hath heard every word of it, with embellishments. He is very angry indeed. Nothing but what you have done for him lately could have saved you; and even now I do not know—"
"Man," I said, "do not let us leave such talk as this. It is not I who am in question—"
"I think you will find that it is," he answered me, with a quick look.
I strove to be patient, and, even more, to appear so.
"Well," I said, "what have I done? I am come back from France: I hear my cousin is here; I go to see her; a fellow at the door is impertinent, and I chastise him for it. Then I go upstairs to my cousin's parlour—"
"That is the point," he interrupted. "It is not your cousin's. It is the lodging of the Maids of Honour."
Yes: he had me there. That was my weak point. But I would not let him see that.
"How was I to understand that distinction? I knocked at the door as peaceably as any man could."
"And after that," he said, smiling a little grimly, "after that, your cousinly affection blinded you."
"Well, that will do," I said.
He smiled again.
"Well; that is your case," he observed. "We will see how His Majesty regards it. For I must tell you, Mr. Mallock, that for five minutes last night it was touch and go whether you were not to be arrested. And I will tell you this too, that if you had not come this morning, you would have been brought."
"As bad as that?" I said, laughing. (But I must confess that his gravity dismayed me a little.)
"As bad as that," he said. "You must go to His Majesty at ten."
"As I arranged," I said.
"As His Majesty arranged," said Mr. Chiffinch, rising: "and it is close upon the time."
And then he added, with the utmost gravity.
"If there is one thing His Sacred Majesty is touchy upon, it is the reputation of the ladies of the Court. I would remember that, sir, if I were you."
I observed a while ago that Pride is a good weapon if one has not Humility. So is Anger a good weapon, if one has not Patience; and I do not mean simulated Anger, but the passion itself, held in a leash, like a dog, and loosed when the time comes. Now, so great was my feeling for His Majesty, and that not only of an honest loyalty, but of a real kind of respect that I had for his person and his parts—a real fear of the very great strength of will that lay beneath his weakness—that I understood that, unless my anger was fairly near the surface, I should be beaten down when I came into his presence. So, as we went together towards his lodgings, I looked to see that my anger was there, patted it on the head so to say, and called it Good Dog: and was relieved to hear it growl softly in answer.
Plainly we were expected; because the two guards at the door stood aside as soon as they saw us, and one of them called out something to a man above. There were two more at the door itself; and we went in.
As we came in at the door of the private closet, having had no answer to our knock, His Majesty came in at the other with two dogs at his heels. He paid no attention to me at all, and barely nodded at my companion. Then he sat down to his table, and began to write; leaving us standing there like a pair of schoolboys.
Again I stroked the head of my anger. I could see the King was very seriously displeased; and that unless I could keep myself determined, he would have the best of the interview; and that I was resolved he should not have.
Suddenly he spoke, still writing.
"You can go, Chiffinch," said he. "Come back in half an hour."
He looked up for a flash and nodded; and I thought, God knows why, that he had in mind the guards outside, and that they should be within call. I knew precisely what my legal offence would be—that of brawling within the precincts of the palace; and the penalties of this I did not care to think about; for I was not sure enough what they were.
When the door closed behind Mr. Chiffinch I felt more alone than ever. I regarded the King's dark face, turned down upon his paper; his dusky ringed hand with the lace turned back; the blue-gemmed quill that he used, his great plumed hat. I looked now and again, discreetly, round the room, at the gorgeous carvings, the tall presses, the innumerable clocks, the brightly polished windows with the river flowing beneath. I felt very little and lonely. Then, in a flash, the memory came back that not fifty yards away was Dolly's little parlour, and Dolly herself; and my determination surged up once more.
Suddenly His Majesty threw down his pen.
"Mr. Mallock," he said very sternly, "there is only one excuse for you—that you were drunk last night. Do you plead that?"
He was looking straight at me with savage melancholy eyes. I dropped my own.
"No, Sir."
"You dare to say you were not drunk?"
"Yes, Sir."
His Majesty caught up an ivory knife and sat drawing it through his fingers, still looking at me, I perceived; though I kept my eyes down. I could see that he was violently impatient.
"Mr. Mallock," said he, "this is intolerable. You come back from France where you have done me good service—I will never deny that—and you win my gratitude; and then you fling it all away by a piece of unpardonable behaviour. Are you aware of the penalties for such behaviour as yours?—brawling in the Palace itself, knocking my men down, forcing your way into the lodgings of Her Majesty's Ladies? Have you anything to say as to why you should not go before the Green Cloth?"
A great surge of contradiction and defiance rose within me; but I choked it down again. It was there if I should need it. The effort held me steady and balanced.
"Do you hear me, sir?"
"Yes, Sir," said I.
"Well—what have you to say?"
He glanced past me towards the door; and I thought again that the guards were in his mind.
"Sir; I have a very great deal to say. But I fear I should offend Your
Majesty."
The King jerked his head impatiently.
"It is of the nature of a defence?"
"Certainly, Sir."
"Say it then. You need one."
I raised my eyes and looked him in the face. He was frowning; and his lips were moving. Evidently he was very angry; and yet he was perplexed, too.
"Sir, this is precisely what took place. I returned from France last night, where, as Your Majesty was good enough to remark, I was able to be of some little service. Upon my return I heard from Mr. Chiffinch that my 'pretty cousin' as he was kind enough to call her, was in Whitehall, as one of Her Majesty's ladies. I went to see my cousin, perhaps a little precipitately, but I went peaceably, first inquiring of one of Your Majesty's guards where her lodgings were. I knocked, peaceably, upon the door. An old woman opened to me, and would give me no intelligible answer to my—peaceable—inquiry as to whether my cousin were there. I prevented her closing the door in my face, but peaceably; then a fellow ran out, and asked me who the devil I was. Again, peaceably, I inquired for my cousin. I even sat down upon the stairs. Then he made at me; and in self-defence I struck him once, with my hand. My cousin looked out of a door, and I went up into what I understood was her parlour. When the guard came, she sent them away, telling them I was her cousin. The serjeant was impertinent to her; and she shut the door in his face. I remained five minutes, or six, with my cousin, and then went peaceably away, and to my lodgings. That is the entire truth, Sir, from beginning to end."
The King laughed, very short and harsh.
"You put it admirably," he said. "You are a diplomat, indeed."
"That is my defence to Your Majesty; and it is perfectly true—neither less nor more than the truth. But I am not only a diplomat."
He did not fully understand me, I think, for he looked at me sharply.
"Well?" he said. "What else?"
"I have another defence for the public—Sir—not so courteous to Your
Majesty."
He remained rigid an instant.
"Then for the public," he said, "you do not think the truth enough?"
"No, Sir; it is for Your Majesty that I think the truth too much."
"I will have it!" cried the King. "This moment!"
Interiorly I licked my lips, as a dog when he sees a bone. His Majesty should have the truth now, with a vengeance. All was falling out exactly as I had designed. He should not have kept me waiting so long; or I might not have thought of it.
"Well, Sir," said I, "you will remember I should not have dared to say it to Your Majesty, had I not been commanded."
He said nothing. Then, once more, I ruffled my growling dog's ears, so that he snarled.
"First, Sir; to the public I should say: If this is counted brawling, what of other scenes in Whitehall on which no charge was made? What of the sun-dial, smashed all to fragments one night, in the Privy Garden, by certain of the King's Gentlemen whom I could name? What of the broken door-knockers—not only in the City, but upon certain doors in Whitehall itself—broken, again by certain of the King's Gentlemen whom I could name? What of a scene I viewed myself in the Banqueting Hall last Christmastide in Your Majesty's presence, when a Spanish gentleman received full in his face a bunch of raisins, from—"
"Ah!" snarled the King. "And you would say that to the public?"
"Sir—that is only the exordium "—(my voice was raised a little, I think, for indeed I was raging again by now). "Next, I would observe that Mistress Jermyn is my own cousin, and that the hour was eight o'clock in the evening—not nine, if I may so far correct Your Majesty; whereas very different hours are kept by some members of the Court, and the ladies are not their cousins at all."
I had never seen the King so angry. He was unable to speak for fury. His face paled to parchment-colour under his sallow skin, and his eyes burned like coals. This time I lashed my anger, deliberately, instead of tickling it merely.
"Sir; that is not nearly all; but I will miss out a few points, and come to my peroration. My peroration would be after this fashion. Such, I would say, is the charge against one who has been of service to His Majesty; and such is the Court (as I have described) of that same King. There is not a Court in Europe that has a Prince so noble as our own can be, of better parts, or of higher ambitions, or of so pure a blood. And there is no Prince who is served so poorly; no Court that so stinks in the nostrils of God and man, as does his. He is capable," I cried (for by now I was lost to all consideration for myself; my loyalty and love for him had come to the aid of my anger; and I saw that never again should I have such an opportunity of speaking my mind), "He is capable of as great achievements, as any Prince that has gone before him; for he has already won back the throne which his fathers lost. Would it be of service, I would say, to such a Prince as this, to punish a man who would lay down his life for him to give him even a moment's pleasure; and to let go scot-free men and women who have never done anything but injure him?"
I ceased; breathless, yet triumphing; for I knew that I had held His Majesty with my words. How he would take it, when he recovered, I did not know: nor did I greatly care. I had spoken my mind to him at last; and what I had said was no more than my conviction. That blessed gift of anger had done the rest: and, having done its work, retired again to chaos; and left me clear-headed and master of myself.
When I looked at him he was motionless. He was still very pale, but the terrible brightness of his eyes was gone.
Then he roused himself to sneer; but I did not care for that; for there was no other way for him just then, consonant with his own dignity.
"Very admirably preached!" said he; "even if a trifle treasonous."
"I am pleased Your Majesty is satisfied," I said, with a little bow.
Then he broke down altogether, in the only way that he could; he gave a great spirt of laughter; then he leaned back and laughed till the tears ran down. Presently he was quieter.
"Oddsfish!" he cried, "this is a turning of tables indeed! I sent for you, Mr. Mallock—"
The door opened softly behind me; and a man put his head in.
"Go away! go away!" cried the King. "Cannot you see I am being preached to?"
The door closed again.
"I sent for you, Mr. Mallock, to reprimand you very severely. And instead of that it is you who have held the whip. Little Ken is nothing to it: you should have been a Bishop, Mr. Mallock."
Again he spirted with laughter. Then he drew himself up in his chair a little; and became more grave.
"This is all very well," he said. "But I think I must get in my reprimand, for all that. You will not be sent to the guard-room, or the Green Cloth—(or whatever it is that would meet your case)—this time, Mr. Mallock; I will deal with you myself. But it is a very serious business, and your distinctions would not serve you in law. A sundial is not so important as a Christian lady; and a bunch of raisins is not, legally, a blow in the face. Still less are all the sundials and Spaniards in the world, equal to one of Her Majesty's Maids of Honour. You understand that?"
I bowed again; reminding myself that I was not done with him, even yet.
"Yes, Sir."
"Consider yourself reprimanded severely, Mr. Mallock."
I bowed; but I stood still.
"You have my leave—Oh! by the way, Mr. Mallock; there are just ten words I must have with you on the French affairs."
He motioned to a seat.
"I may kiss the hand that has beaten me?" said I.
He laughed again. He was a very merry prince when he was in the mood.
"It should be the other way about, I should think," he said. But he gave me his hand; and I sat down.
* * * * *
All the while we were talking, still, with one-half of my mind I was considering what was to be done next. It was a part, only, of my business that had been done; yet how to accomplish the rest without spoiling all? Presently His Majesty himself repeated that which Mr. Chiffinch had already said to me; and spoke of some kind of recognition that was due to me. That gave me my cue.
"Your Majesty is exceedingly kind," I said. "But I trust I am not to be dismissed from the King's service? Mr. Chiffinch appeared to think—"
"Why, no," said he; "not even after all your crimes. Besides we have something for you. Did he not tell you?"
"Any public recognition, Sir," I said, "would effectually do so. The very small value that my services may have would wholly be lost, if they were known in any way."
"Chiffinch said the same," observed the King meditatively. "But—"
"Sir," I said, "might I not have some private recognition instead? There is a very particular favour I have in mind, which would be private altogether; and which I would take as a complete discharge of that which Your Majesty has been good enough to call a debt of the King's."
"Not money, man! Surely!" exclaimed the King in alarm.
"Not in the least, Sir; it will not cost the exchequer a farthing."
"Well, you shall have it then. You may be sure of that."
"Well, Sir," said I, "it is a serious matter. Your Majesty will dislike it exceedingly."
He pursed his lips and looked at me sharply.
"Wait!" he said. "It will not affect my honour or—or my religion in any way?"
I assumed an air of slight offence.
"Sir; I should not be likely to ask it, if it affected Your Majesty's honour. And as for religion—" I stopped: for one more opening presented itself which I dared not neglect. From both his manner and his words I saw that religion was not very far from his thoughts.
"Well—sir," he said. "And what of religion?"
"Sir, I pray every day for Your Majesty's conversion—"
"Conversion, eh?"
"Conversion to the Holy Catholic Church, Sir. I would give my life for that, ten times over."
"There! there! have done," said His Majesty, with a touch of uneasiness.
"But I would not ask a pledge, blindfold, Sir; even to save all those ten lives of mine."
"One more than a cat, eh? Do you know, Mr. Mallock, you remind me sometimes of a cat. You are so demure, and yet you can pounce and scratch when the occasion comes."
"I would sooner it had been a little dog, Sir," I said, glancing at the spaniels that were curled up together before the fire.
"Well—well; we are wandering," smiled the King. "Now what is this favour?"
I supposed I must have looked very grave and serious; for before I could speak he leaned forward.
"It is to count as a complete discharge, I understood you to say, Mr.
Mallock, for all obligations on my part. And there is no money in it?"
"Yes, Sir," said I. "And there is no money in it."
He must have seen I was serious.
"Well; I take you at your word, sir. I will grant it. Tell me what it is."
He leaned back, looking at me curiously.
"Sir," I said, "it is now about half-past ten o'clock. What I ask is that my cousin, Mistress Dorothy Jermyn, receives an immediate dismissal from Her Majesty's service; and is ordered to leave London with me, for her father's house, at noon."
His Majesty looked at me amazed. I think he did not know whether to be angry, or to laugh.
"Well, sir," he said at last. "That is the maddest request I have ever had. You mean what you say?"
"Certainly, Sir."
"Well: you must have it then. It is the queerest kindness I have ever done. Why do you ask it? Eh?"
"Sir; you do not want my peroration over again!"
His face darkened.
"That is very like impudence, Mr. Mallock."
"I do not mean it for such, Sir. It is the naked truth."
"You think this is not a fitting place for her?"
"I am sure it is not, Sir," I said very earnestly, "nor for any country-maid. Would Your Majesty think—"
He jerked his head impatiently.
"What my Majesty thinks is one thing; what I, Charles Stuart, do, is another. Well: you must have it. There is no more to be said."
I think he expected me to stand up and take my leave. But I remained still in my chair.
"Well; what else, sir?" he asked.
"Sir; it is near a quarter to eleven. I have not the order, yet."
"Bah! well—am I to write it then?"
"If Your Majesty will condescend."
"And what shall I say to the Queen? It is not very courteous to dismiss a lady of hers so abruptly."
"Sir; tell Her Majesty it is a debt of honour."
He wheeled back to his table, took up a sheet and began to write. When he had done he scattered the sand on it, and held it out to me, his mouth twitching a little.
"Will that serve?" he said.
I have that paper still. It is written with five lines only, and a signature. It runs as follows:
"This is to command Mistress Dorothy Jermyn, late Maid of Honour to Her Majesty, now dismissed by the King, though through no fault of her own, to leave the Court at Whitehall at noon to-day, in company with her cousin Mr. Roger Mallock, and never to return thither without his consent.
"CHARLES R."
Then followed the date.
I had a criticism or two; but I dared not make them.
"That is more than I could have asked, Sir. I am under an eternal obligation to Your Majesty."
"I daresay: but all mine are discharged to you, until you earn some more. It might have meant a peerage, Mr. Mallock."
"I do not regret it, Sir," I said.
As I rose after kissing his hand, he said one more word to me.
"You are either a very wise man, or a fool, Mr. Mallock. And by God I do not know which. But I do know you are a very brave one."
"I was a very angry one, Sir," said I.
"But you are appeased?"
"A thousand times, Sir."