BISHOP JOSS
It ain't a passionate flat like Abe can manage
things in your way!
They teased that most etarnal babe, till things
were in a poor way.
I used to watch his thorny bed, and bust my
sides with laughter,
Once give a female hoss her head you'll never
stop her after.
It's one thing getting seal'd, and he was mighty
fond of Sealing,
He'd all the human heat, d'ye see, without the
saintly feeling.
His were the wildest set of gals that ever drove
man silly,
Each full of freaks and fal-de-lals, as frisky as a
filly.
One pull'd this way, and t'other that, and made
his life a mockery,
They'd all the feelings of a cat scampaging
'mong the crockery.
I saw Abe growing pale and thin, and well I
knew what ail'd him—
The skunk went stealing out and in, and all his
spirit failed him;
And tho' the tanning-yard paid well, and he
was money-making,
His saintly home was hot as Hell, and, ah!
how he was baking!
Why, now and then at evening-time, when his
day's work was over,
Up this here hill he used to climb and squat
among the clover,
And with his fishy eye he'd glare across the
Rocky Mountains,
And wish he was away up there, among the
heavenly fountains!
I had an aunt, Tabitha Brooks, a virgin under
fifty,
She warn't so much for pretty looks, but she
was wise and thrifty;
She'd seen the vanities of life, was good at
'counts and brewin'—
Thinks I, "Here's just the sort of Wife to save
poor Abe from ruin."
So, after fooling many a week, and showing
him she loved him,
And seeing he was shy to speak, whatever
feelings moved him,
At last I took her by the hand, and led her to
him straightway,
One day when we could see him stand jest close
unto the gateway.
My words were to the p'int and brief: says I,
"My brother Clewson,
There'll be an end to all your grief, if you've got
resolution.
Where shall you find a house that thrives without
a head that's ruling?
Here is the paragon of wives to teach those
others schooling!
She'll be to you not only wife, but careful as a
mother—
A little property for life is hers; you'll share it,
brother.
I've seen the question morn and eve within your
eyes unspoken,
You're slow and nervous I perceive, but now—the
ice is broken.
Here is a guardian and a guide to bless a man
and grace him;"
And then I to Tabitha cried, "Go in, old gal-
embrace him!"