The Funny Little Man.
I am going to tell a story of a little girl I knew,
She had a little sweetheart no bigger than my shoe;
She used to sit and sew all day—he used to run and play,
And when she tried to chide him, this is all that he would say:
O my! Here's such a jolly spree!
Sally Water's coming with Jack Sheppard into tea,
She's bringing Baby Bunting with old Mother Hubbard's Dog,
And little Jacky Horner with the Roly Poly Frog.
O my! it fills my heart with glee!
The House that Jack is building isn't big enough for me!
In time these two got married and they took a little house,
And soon a tiny baby came, no bigger than a mouse;
But still the little husband played at skipping rope and top
With all the little girls and boys, and drank their ginger-pop.
O my! this funny little Sam
Thought the world was bread and cheese, and all the trees were jam;
He stood his baby on its head, and played at shuttlecock,
And then he rocked himself to sleep with cakes of almond-rock.
O my! he was a sniggadee!
He went to bed at one o'clock and rose at half-past three.
Now once they gave a party, and sweet Cinderella came
With Blue Beard and Red Riding Hood and little What's-His-Name;
And Nelly Bly who winked her eye and Greedy Tommy Stout,
Bo-Peep and Tam O'Shanter, and likewise Colin Clout.
O my! it was a jolly spree!
Ev'ry one from Fairy Land and Fiddle Faddle Fee,
And Mary brought her Little Lamb, from which they all had chops,
While Puck and Cupid served them with some hot boiled acid drops.
O my! it was a happy spread,
They all sat down on toadstools and in mushrooms went to bed.
As time went on, and he grew grey, he took to flying kites,
And then he took to staying out so very late o' nights!
One day he thought he was a bird and flew up in the air,
And if you listen you will hear singing now up there:—
O my! I'm such a funny Coon,
I'm going to get some green cheese away up in the Moon;
I'm going to see the Evening Star, to ask him why he blinks,
Also the Sun to ascertain about the things she thinks.
O my! I feel so gay and free,
I'm going to call on Father Time and then return to tea.
The two children were so absorbed in listening to this rhyming rigmarole that they did not observe the Winny Weg depart, though, when they came to think of it, the last verse was sung in the clouds, and presumably by the Funny Little Man himself, and they quite longed for him to pay them a call. But he didn't, so the goblins started off once more on their wild career, this time on horseback, making such a hammering and a clattering as almost to deafen them.
Quickly in the rear of the white horses and the spirits, who all wore little round caps with tassels at the top, came a procession of dolls—wax dolls, wooden dolls, and saw-dust dolls, very finely dressed, with here and there a doll who had lost a leg, or an arm, or a head, while some were quite cripples, and had to be carried by a train of tiny girls in very short frocks and very long sashes. At the head of these appeared the Winny Weg again, and just as they were vanishing in the shadows, a regular shower of broken dolls came down in dreadful disorder, causing the children to break from their ranks to gather up their property, as the dolls, it was evident, were their own old companions which they had discarded when new ones were given to them. One particularly disreputable doll, with a broken nose and a very battered body, was claimed by the prettiest child of all, and as she picked it up, she stepped into the centre of a ring formed by her school-fellows, and recited to them this pathetic poem:—
The Unfortunate Doll.
O poor Dolly! O pitty sing!
An' did um have a fall?
Some more tourt plaster I must bling
Or else oo'll squeam and squall!
I never knew a doll like oo—
Oo must have been made yong;
I don't fink oo were born twite new—
Oo never have been stwong!
I held oo to the fire one day
To make oose body warm;
And melted oose poor nose away—
And then oo lost oose form.
Yen some yude boy, to my surplise,
Said oo had dot a stwint;
And yen he painted both oose eyes
And wapped oo up in lint.
Your yosey cheeks were nets to fade,
Oose blush bedan to do;
And now I'm welly much aflaid
Oose lost oose big yight toe.
Oose left leg is no longer left,
Oose yight arm's left oo too;
And of your charm oo is beyeft,
And no doll tums to woo!
And oose a hollow little fing,
Oose saw-dust has yun out;
Your stweak is gone, oo cannot sing,
Oose lips tan't form a pout.
Oose hair is dyed, an' all is done,
Oose ears are in oose neck;
An' so my Dolly, darling one,
Oo is a fearful weck.
It is too bad—I loved oo so—
That oo should die so soon,
An' to the told, told drave must do
This velly afternoon!
After this affecting recital they all took out their "hankelwiches," as the owner of the Unfortunate Doll said, and placing themselves in line, they followed, as mourners, the remains of the deceased doll to the end of a back garden, which some of the goblins had brought in with them. Then everything faded away again, and more shadows danced on the land and the sea, until nothing was to be seen but the galloping sprites and the Winny Weg, who was dancing in a corner all by herself.
A pink light now burst through the haze, the goblins rode off, and a perfect fairy-land nursery was unfolded before Maude and Willie, who were reclining peacefully on a golden couch with silver cushions. They had no desire to talk, but were content to drink in all that they saw rapturously and silently. The nursery was crowded, wee baby-kins were crawling about everywhere, with a dozen coy cupid-like dots with bows and arrows. And right away at the back a beautiful garden was disclosed, in which happy young couples were seen perambulating arm-in-arm, talking soft nothings to each other. Meanwhile the crawling babies in the Universal Nursery began to stand up; and then commenced such a game of leap-frog by these tiny mites, that made even the Cheshire Cat smile. It was so funny to hear these dots call out to each other to tuck in their "tuppennies," and to see them flying, without stopping to take breath, over each other's backs. Even the little pink and blue cupids laughed until the babies crept back to their cribs once more, and were rocked off to sleep as the Winny Weg waved her wand, and an unseen choir of little girls and boys was heard singing this Lullaby:—
