V.—"VIL YOU SAY SO, IF YOU PLEASE?"
"Speaking of not speaking," said I, when the general amusement had abated, "reminds me of an amusing little scene that I once witnessed in the public parlor of a New England tavern, where I was compelled to wait several hours for a stage-coach. Presently there entered a bustling, sprightly-looking little personage, who, after frisking about the room, apparently upon a tom of inspection, finally settled herself very comfortably in the large cushioned rocking-chair—the only one in the room—and was soon, as I had no reason to doubt, sound asleep. It was not long, however, before a noise of some one entering aroused her, and a tall, gaunt, old Yankee woman, hung around with countless bags, bonnet-boxes, and nondescript appendages of various sizes and kinds, presented herself to our vision. After slowly relieving herself of the numberless incumbrances that impeded her progress in life, she turned to a young man who accompanied her, and said, in a tone so peculiarly shrill that it might have been mistaken, at this day, for a railroad whistle—
"'Now, Jonathan, don't let no grass grow under your feet while you go for them toothache drops; I am a'most crazy with pain!' laying a hand upon the affected spot as she spoke; 'and here,' she called out, as the door was closing upon her messenger, 'just get my box filled at the same time,' diving with her disengaged hand into the unknown depths of, seemingly, the most capacious of pockets, and bringing to light a shining black box of sufficient size to hold all the jewels of a modern belle. 'I thought I brought along my snuff-bladder, but I don't know where I put it, my head is so stirred up.'
"By this time the little woman in the rocking-chair was fairly aroused, and rising, she courteously offered her seat to the stranger, her accent at once betraying her claim to be ranked with the politest of nations (a bow, on my part, to the fair foreigner in the group). With a prolonged stare, the old woman coolly ensconced herself in the vacated seat, making not the slightest acknowledgment of the civility she had received. Presently she began to groan, rocking herself furiously at the same time. The former occupant of the stuffed chair, who had retired to a window and perched herself in one of a long row of wooden seats, hurried to the sufferer. 'I fear, madame,' said she, 'that you suffare ver' much—vat can I do for you?' The representative of Yankeedom might have been a wooden clock-case for all the response she made to this amiable inquiry, unless her rocking more furiously than ever might be construed into a reply.
"The little Frenchwoman, apparently wholly unable to class so anomalous a specimen of humanity, cautiously retreated.
"Before I was summoned away, the toothache drops and the snuff together (both administered in large doses) seemed to have gradually produced the effect of oil poured upon troubled waters.
"The sprightly Frenchwoman again ventured upon the theater of action.
"'You find yourself now much improved, madame?' she asked, with considerable vivacity. A very slight nod was the only answer.
"'And you feel dis fauteuil really very com-for-ta-ble?' pursued the little woman, with augmented energy of voice. Another nod was just discernible.
"No intonation of mine can do justice to the very ecstasy of impatience with which the pertinacious questioner actually screamed out:
"'Bien, madame, vil you say so, if you please?'
"Henry Lunettes."