BETTY WASHINGTON, AND WEDDINGS IN OLD VIRGINIA
In 1746 young Fielding Lewis came up from his family seat at Marmion, bringing General Washington's aunt, Catharine Washington, as his wife, and made his home at Kenmore in Fredericksburg. They were married just one year before the birth of little John Lewis, and Mrs. Henry Lee (the mother of "Light-horse Harry") and Mrs. Mary Washington were godmothers. (Five times was this little fellow destined to be married, and if a problem of involved relationship be in order, he could furnish it. His first two wives were the granddaughters of his great-aunt, Mildred Gregory, and his last wife great-granddaughter of her last husband!) But to return to Fielding Lewis and Catharine (Washington) Lewis: the next year (1748) Frances was born, George Washington (aged sixteen), godfather—the next year (1749) the third child was born, and then the poor young mother, having borne a child every year, was gathered to her fathers and her children (January, 1750). All these events were of keen interest to the family at "Pine Grove." In all these functions nobody was more sympathetic than Betty Washington, now a handsome maiden of seventeen. She took her little orphan cousins to her heart, and in two months she comforted also the forlorn widower, and became his wife.
Kenmore House.
There is not the least doubt that she was given away by her brother George, now eighteen years of age, and that Samuel, John Augustine, and Charles, handsome, well-grown lads, were present at her wedding. Charles was twelve years old; Samuel, sixteen. Elizabeth was "a fine young woman." Describing her, Mr. Custis used a favorite word of the day. Majesty being the highest of all places, "Majestic" was the highest of all praise. Colonial beauties were rarely described as "graceful," "winsome," "exquisite," "lovely"; they were "stately," "majestic," "queenly." They wore stately garments,—paduasoy, from soie de Padua, where the strong, lustrous silk so much worn by men and women was manufactured, or "tabby" velvet and silk, the rich watered oriental fabric manufactured in Attabya, a quarter in Bagdad. These were the grandest, the most sumptuous fabrics known. The wife of Goldsmith's Vicar was proud of her crimson paduasoy (the silk had given its name to a garment). Samuel Pepys could not afford the genuine article, but he boasted a "wastecoat of false tabby." Of course, a majestic woman wore these rich materials, "silk gowns wad stand on end" like the gowns of Dumbiedike's grandmother. Who could be majestic in clinging, willowy chiffon? Elizabeth Washington, known by the diminutive "Betty," undoubtedly enhanced her majesty by one or more of these gowns made in the fashion invented by the artist Watteau.
As to the rest, we know she was "mannerly." Stately gowns befitted stately manners. People "Sirred and Madamed" each other in true Johnsonian style, with many a low courtesy, veiling the bosom with outspread fan, and many a profound bow with hand on heart. There was leisure for all this before the day of the trolley car and steam car, or even the stage and omnibus; when in towns visits were made at ten in the morning, and the visitors sent hither and thither in sedan-chairs. Young ladies of her day were expert horsewomen. Those of us who saw the portrait of Betty Washington at the Centennial in New York can imagine her handsome figure on horseback. "She was a most majestic woman," said Mr. Custis, adding that he perfectly well remembered her, "and was so strikingly like the Chief her brother, that it was a matter of frolic to throw a cloak around her, and then place a military cap on her head: and such was the perfect resemblance that had she appeared on her brother's steed, battalions would have presented arms, and senates risen to do homage to the chief." She adored her brother, and was proud to be so like him. "Be good," she would say to her young friends in after life, "and I will be General Washington for you!" Tying her hair in a cue, and crowning it with a cocked hat, she would take a sword and masquerade to their infinite amusement. She and her brother closely resembled their mother in form, carriage, and the contour of their faces. They inherited her splendid health, her mental strength, and her sterling virtues—but not her seriousness which grew to be a settled sadness. Betty Washington was as merry-hearted a maiden as might be found in that merry time.
If somebody had only thought of us at the great wedding at "Pine Grove," when stately Elizabeth Washington was given in marriage to the dignified, handsome Colonel Fielding Lewis, if somebody had only described it for our sakes, we should not be obliged to imagine it! The three great social occasions of domestic life were weddings, christenings, and funerals. These were solemnized, if not too distant, in churches. The bride on the large isolated estates made her vows in her own home, in her own home consecrated her offspring, from her own home was borne at last to her final resting-place. A wedding lasted many days, during which the house was filled with feasting kindred, coming from far and near. Social usage varied so little in colonial Virginia that we are quite safe in noting some features of Betty Washington's wedding. Of some things we may be sure,—first, there is not the least doubt that she chose her own husband.
One of the first fruits of the spirit of freedom was the American girl's determination henceforth to choose her husband. She made mistakes sometimes, poor child, but was probably silenced by the reflection that she had no one to blame but herself. She was much under the influence of French fashions, but had a prejudice against the French manner of conducting matrimonial alliances, while the French at once conceived a horror of the American departure. "We must marry our daughters as soon as possible," said a Frenchwoman to an easy-going American husband. "If we do not take care, she will be like your terrible Americans, and end by joining in the 'hount for housband'!" dropping her French to quote the enormity in its own appropriate tongue.
Something of the old-time English customs in contracting parties remained in the formal correspondence of the prospective bridegroom's father with the father of the bride-elect, presumably before the young lady had been consulted. The former stated that his son proposed "paying his addresses," and he therefore announced the number of acres and slaves, and the kind of house he could give his son, and, without any expression of romance or sentiment, politely requested a similar statement from the "party of the second part." This party informs the other that his son has applied for "leave to make his addresses," and states what he can do.
Of course, it sometimes happened that the matter rested just here—the ideas on one side or the other being unsatisfactory. Then it was that Cupid had his opportunity! More than one lover has hidden in the close-screened, cedar summer-house, and more than one maiden has stolen in the gray dawn from her back door, disguised as her own maid, to join him in an early horseback ride to Gretna Green. Moreover, more than one such maiden was "cut off with a shilling" by an injured father, and went through her life stoutly declaring herself the happiest woman in the world, albeit not as rich in worldly goods as her dutiful sisters!
Betty Washington's wedding-dress we must imagine. It was probably not unlike Martha Custis's wedding-gown a few years later. This was thus described by one of her guests: a white satin quilt, over which a heavy white silk, interwoven with threads of silver, was looped back with white satin ribbons, richly brocaded in a leaf pattern. Her bodice was of plain satin, and the brocade was fastened on the bust with a stiff butterfly bow of the ribbon. Delicate lace finished the low, square neck. There were close elbow-sleeves revealing a puff and frill of lace. Strings of pearls were woven in and out of her powdered hair. Her high-heeled slippers were of white satin, with brilliant buckles. Just this dress, in style if not material, was certainly worn by Betty.
Her mother being a devout churchwoman, she was probably married at church. And if Colonel Lewis chose to follow the fashion of the day, he was brave indeed in a white satin vest, a suit of fine cloth lined with crimson satin, fine lace at wrist and throat, and diamond (or was it paste?) buckles at knee and shoe top.
Our forefathers and foremothers wore good clothes in 1750!
We may be sure that none of the orthodox wedding customs and ceremonies were omitted by Mary Washington at her daughter's marriage. There were certainly bride's favors, wedding-cake, ring, and thimble, and, alas! the slipper and rice. The bride was duly provided, for her bridal costume, with
"Something old, and something new,
Something borrowed and something blue."
The "old" was oftenest an heirloom of lace; the "borrowed," an orange blossom or two which had been worn by other brides; the "blue," a tiny knot of ribbon on the garter.
These ceremonies were full of significance, and in observing them, the bride linked herself in the long chain which stretches back to the early stages of the world. The wedding-ring, and the choice of the third finger as being connected with the heart, are mentioned in old Egyptian literature. The blue ribbon, whether worn as a badge, or order, or at bridals, comes down from the ancient Israelites, who were bidden to put upon the borders of their fringed garments a "ribband of blue"—blue, the color of purity, loyalty, and fidelity. Bridesmaids were a relic of the ten witnesses of old Roman weddings. Bride's cake and rice, of the aristocratic Roman confarreatio. The Spanish custom of wearing fragments cut from the bride's ribbons, first introduced into England when Charles II brought home his Katharine of Portugal to be England's queen, survived in the enormous white satin rosettes (bride's favors) worn by the groomsmen, and survives to-day in the boutonnières of the bride's flowers. The old and the new symbolize her past and future—not divided, but united. The "something borrowed" signifies a pledge to be redeemed. Nothing is without significance, which accounts for the fact that all these old-time customs continue from century to century, and are so jealously observed to-day.
One of the eighteenth-century customs, has, however, been lost in the hurry and rush of our own time. The "infair," the faring into the house of the bridegroom's parents, was quite as lengthy and important a function as the wedding. This great housewarming entertainment to celebrate the reception into the bridegroom's family was an ancient English custom, religiously observed in Virginia until the middle of the nineteenth century.
The quantity of wedding-cake made in the Virginia kitchens was simply astounding! It was packed in baskets and sent all over the country to be eaten by the elders and "dreamed on" by the maidens.
What would Betty Washington and Colonel Lewis have thought of a wedding reception of an hour, and then a flitting to parts unknown, leaving the world to comfort itself with a small square of cake in a pasteboard box? Such behavior would have been little less than "flat burglary," defrauding people of their just dues.
The Hall at Kenmore, showing the Clock which belonged to Mary Washington.
Colonel Fielding Lewis, although young, was already a merchant of high standing and wealth, a vestryman, magistrate, and burgess. Kenmore, near Fredericksburg, was built for him, that his wife might be near her mother. The mansion, still kept in excellent repair, was reckoned a fine one at the time. It was built of brick and skilfully decorated by Italian artists. Betty wrote to her brother George that their "invention had given out," and invited him to contribute something. It is said that he designed the decoration illustrating Æsop's fable of the Crow and the Fox, which adorns the drawing-room mantel to-day. It is in stucco, and besides illustrating the fable of the wheedling fox who seeks to gain booty by a smooth tongue, another fable—the wolf accusing the lamb of fouling the water—is represented. The story told at Kenmore is of Italians captured in the French army as prisoners of war, who were led by choice or necessity to remain in America, where they plied their trade of decorators.
NELLIE CUSTIS.
Nine months after Betty Washington's wedding, on St. Valentine's day, 1751, another Fielding Lewis was born, and George Washington, just nineteen, was godfather, his mother, godmother. Having done her duty to her husband, Betty in 1752 named her next son John Augustine, and her brother Charles, fourteen years old, was godfather. A third boy was born, 1755, and Charles was again godfather. In 1757 she named a fourth son George Washington, and, in 1759, Mary Washington was sponsor for a little Mary Lewis, and Samuel Washington, godfather. Then, in 1760, a year after his own marriage, we find George Washington and his mother sponsors for a Charles Lewis. Samuel and Betty were born respectively in 1763 and 1765, and in April, Lawrence, the lucky,—destined to win "the nation's pride," lovely Nellie Custis, the adopted daughter of General Washington. Then Robert and Howell were born. Again, and yet again, was the traditional gown of black brocade brought forth by the proud grandmother, as Betty claimed her mother and brothers for the important and solemn office of sponsors for her splendid boys—boys that followed their illustrious uncle all through the war of the Revolution, and to whom he was ever the most faithful of friends and guardians.