FOOTNOTES:
[278] There is a letter by Robin Harper on the same subject in Lillie's "Letters sent to the Tatler and Spectator," i. 326.
[279] Congreve, "The Way of the World," act i. sc. 3.
[No. 270. [Steele.]
From Thursday, Dec. 28, to Saturday, Dec. 30, 1710.
Cum pulchris tunicis sumet nova consilia et spes.
Hor., 1 Ep. xviii. 33.
From my own Apartment, Dec. 29.
According to my late resolution, I take the holidays to be no improper season to entertain the town with the addresses of my correspondents. In my walks every day there appear all round me very great offenders in the point of dress. An armed tailor had the impudence yesterday in the park to smile in my face, and pull off a laced hat to me, as it were in contempt of my authority and censure. However, it is a very great satisfaction, that other people as well as myself are offended with these improprieties. The following notices from persons of different sexes and qualities are a sufficient instance how useful my Lucubrations are to the public.
"Jack's Coffee-house, near
Guildhall, Dec. 27.
"Cousin Bickerstaff,
"It has been the peculiar blessing of our family to be always above the smiles or frowns of fortune, and by a certain greatness of mind to restrain all irregular fondnesses or passions. From hence it is, that though a long decay, and a numerous descent, have obliged many of our house to fall into the arts of trade and business, no one person of us has ever made an appearance that betrayed our being unsatisfied with our own station of life, or has ever affected a mien or gesture unsuitable to it.
"You have up and down in your writings very justly remarked, that it is not this or the other profession or quality among men that gives us honour and esteem, but the well or ill behaving ourselves in those characters. It is therefore with no small concern, that I behold in coffee houses and public places my brethren, the tradesmen of this city, put off the smooth, even, and ancient decorum of thriving citizens, for a fantastical dress and figure, improper for their persons and characters, to the utter destruction of that order and distinction which of right ought to be between St. James's and Milk Street, the Camp and Cheapside.
"I have given myself some time to find out, how distinguishing the frays in a lot of muslins, or drawing up a regiment of thread laces, or making a panegyric on pieces of sagathy[280] or Scotch plaid, should entitle a man to a laced hat or sword, a wig tied up with ribbons, or an embroidered coat. The College[281] say, this enormity proceeds from a sort of delirium in the brain, which makes it break out first about the head, and, for want of timely remedies, fall upon the left thigh, and from thence in little mazes and windings run over the whole body, as appears by pretty ornaments on the buttons, button-holes, garterings, sides of the breeches, and the like. I beg the favour of you to give us a discourse wholly upon the subject of habits, which will contribute to the better government of conversation amongst us and in particular oblige,
"Sir,
"Your affectionate Cousin,
"Felix Tranquillus."
"To Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq., Censor of Great Britain.
"The humble Petition of Ralph Nab, haberdasher of hats and many other poor sufferers of the same trade:
"Showeth—That for some years last past the use of gold and silver galloon[282] upon hats has been almost universal, being undistinguishably worn by soldiers, squires, lords, footmen, beaus, sportsmen, traders, clerks, prigs, smarts, cullies, pretty fellows, and sharpers.
"That the said use and custom has been two ways very prejudicial to your petitioners: first, in that it has induced men, to the great damage of your petitioners, to wear their hats upon their heads, by which means the said hats last much longer whole than they would do if worn under their arms. Secondly, in that very often a new dressing and a new lace supply the place of a new hat, which grievance we are chiefly sensible of in the spring-time, when the company is leaving the town; it so happening commonly, that a hat shall frequent all winter the finest and best assemblies without any ornaments at all, and in May shall be tricked up with gold or silver to keep company with rustics, and ride in the rain.
"All which premises your petitioners humbly pray you to take into your consideration, and either to appoint a day in your Court of Honour, when all pretenders to the galloon may enter their claims, and have them approved or rejected, or to give us such other relief as to your great wisdom shall seem meet.
"And your petitioners, &c."
Order my friend near Temple Bar, the author of the "Hunting-Cock," to assist the court when this petition is read, of which Mr. Lillie to give him notice.
"To Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq., Censor of Great Britain.
"The humble Petition of Elizabeth Slender, spinster:
"Showeth—That on the 20th of this instant December, her friend Rebecca Hive and your petitioner walking in the Strand, saw a gentleman before us in a gown, whose periwig was so long and so much powdered, that your petitioner took notice of it, and said, she wondered that lawyer would so spoil a new gown with powder. To which it was answered, that he was no lawyer but a clergyman. Upon a wager of a pot of coffee we overtook him, and your petitioner was soon convinced she had lost.
"Your petitioner therefore desires your worship to cite the clergyman before you, and to settle and adjust the length of canonical periwigs, and the quantity of powder to be made use of in them, and to give such other directions as you shall think fit.[283]
"And your petitioner, &c."
Q. Whether this gentleman be not chaplain to a regiment, and in such case allow powder accordingly?
After all that can be thought on these subjects, I must confess, that the men who dress with a certain ambition to appear more than they are, are much more excusable than those who betray, in the adorning their persons, a secret vanity and inclination to shine in things, wherein if they did succeed, it would rather lessen than advance their character. For this reason, I am more provoked at the allegations relating to the clergyman, than any other hinted at in these complaints. I have indeed a long time with much concern observed abundance of pretty fellows in sacred orders, and shall in due time let them know, that I pretend to give ecclesiastical as well as civil censures. A man well bred and well dressed in that habit, adds to the sacredness of his function an agreeableness not to be met with among the laity. I own I have spent some evenings among the men of wit of that profession with an inexpressible delight. Their habitual care of their character gives such a chastisement to their fancy, that all which they utter in company is as much above what you meet with in other conversations, as the charms of a modest are superior to those of a light woman. I therefore earnestly desire our young missionaries from the Universities to consider where they are, and not dress, and look, and move like young officers. It is no disadvantage to have a very handsome white hand; but were I to preach repentance to a gallery of ladies, I would, methinks, keep my gloves on. I have an unfeigned affection to the class of mankind appointed to serve at the altar, therefore am in danger of running out of my way, and growing too serious on this occasion; for which reason I shall end with the following epistle, which, by my interest in Tom Trot the penny-post, I procured a copy of.