Revolution
Realizing that I was attempting an experiment which might lead to disaster, I took one or two simple precautions before visiting Thuno Flâtum. The first was to disguise myself, for I did not want it known that it was a stranger, a foreigner, a "colored barbarian," who was challenging the throne of the Dictator. The disguise was accomplished simply enough, largely by means of some chalk-like powder, with which I made my face milky pale; in addition, I used a pair of heavy amber glasses, so as to conceal the gray of my eyes; and I steeped my hair in an ashen dye, in order to give it the complexion considered normal. Thus equipped, I was hardly to be distinguished from the average man of Wu.
But as I drew near the Dictator's headquarters, it occurred to me to take another precaution. Was I not in danger from fanatics who, furious at my interference with the air-supply, might waylay me and seek my life? With this thought in mind, I dropped back to a position toward the rear of the procession, after giving instructions as to where my henchmen were to proceed. And well that I did so! When we had come to within half a mile of that brilliant cavern where Thuno Flâtum held court, we were impeded by a rabble, partly curious, partly hostile, who flung stones and epithets, and distributed some "sneeze-gas bombs," by which half a score of my followers were disabled.
Fortunately, I myself emerged unharmed; and a few minutes later I arrived, with the majority of my followers, in that great hall which I so well remembered from my previous visit to the Dictator. As on the former occasion, the entrance was guarded by a row of soldiers with twenty-foot pikes and triangular helmets, who stood statuesque and stone-like, not making so much as a gesture upon our arrival; as on the former occasion, the walls were emblazoned with white, red, and yellow lights, with enormous dragon-shaped banners of green and vermilion, and with long lines of swords, pikes and helmets. And, also as on the former occasion, Dictator Thuno Flâtum sat before the rows of great mirrors on the raised platform, adorned with purple crest and a great string of rubies, while twenty attendants stood about, solicitous to watch every move and gesture of their imperial master.
But how different was this arrival from my previous visit! Then I had been forced to grovel and to approach the sovereign on all fours, waiting impatiently until his lordship should condescend to notice my existence. But today I marched boldly forward, with no hint of deference; and my attendants, reduced to such a state of thoughtlessness that they did not know themselves to be in the presence of Thuno Flâtum, unquestioningly followed my example. Not till I was at the very pedestal of the throne did I pause; and then it was without any sign of submission.
"Thuno Flâtum," I announced, with an abrupt bow, "here I am! I come at your summons, as the President of the People's Better Air Association!"
It was easy to see that my words had produced consternation. The helmeted guards, clearly revealed by their reflections in the mirrors, unbent from their stony rigidity sufficiently to allow the pikes to tremble in their hands; the body servants of Thuno Flâtum seemed paralyzed with amazement, and for the moment forgot their attentions to their regal master in order to stare at me in petrified unbelief. And a group of spectators, doing obeisance upon their hands and knees, collapsed with surprise, and did not regain their composure for many minutes.
Apparently never before had Thuno Flâtum been addressed so familiarly!
The monarch himself seemed dumbfounded and leaned forward in his chair until I feared he would fall out, staring at me with his binocular-like eye-pieces as if trying to see right through me.
It was a moment before any of his attendants could recover themselves sufficiently to lift the megaphone to his mouth.
"What is that you say?" he squeaked, when at length he was equipped with his speaking tube. "Do you know that you are addressing the Prime Dictator and High Chief Potentate of Wu?"
"To be sure, Your Abysmal Excellency, that is why I am here," I returned, suavely. "It would hardly suit my purpose to waste time on any lesser official."
The "Prime Dictator" glared at me. Owing to the eye-pieces, the ear-pieces, and the nose-pieces that covered his face, it was impossible to see his expression clearly; yet I am sure he glared at me. And his puny little form shook with such a violence of wrath that not until his attendants had fanned him for five minutes and applied doses of cold water was he able to find words again.
"Who are you, to speak to me in this manner?" he at length demanded, in accents which showed that he had not pierced my disguise. "Your tones are the uncultivated ones of some Third Class viper! Do you not realize that you have been guilty of Contempt of the First Class—an offense worse than treason? Better men have been executed for less atrocious crimes!"
Exhausted with the effort of this long speech, Thuno Flâtum had to be fanned again by his lackeys and allowed several minutes in which to recuperate.
"What's to prevent me from punishing your insolence?" he finally resumed. "Suppose I order you to be violet-rayed? I've more than a mind to do so!"
Through the mirrors, I could see how the guards behind me began to creep forward, with their pikes pointed in my direction, as if eager to commit capital punishment upon me.
Though I could not repress a shudder, I knew that I had no course except to be bold. "Punish me if you wish, Your Abysmal Excellency," I challenged, "but my followers cannot be disposed of so easily. Those you see here are as nothing to the hosts waiting to avenge me."
"What do I care for your followers?" snapped Thuno Flâtum. "You cannot cow me with threats! Men of my Class have ruled for a hundred generations, and there has never been a revolt!"
"All the more reason that one is due now!" I insisted. "Remember, Your Abysmal Excellency, what power I hold! I am more precious to you and your people than a thousand times my weight in silver!"
Through the mirrors behind me, I could see that the guards were still creeping forward. Also, I could detect a gleam of mirth in the salmon eyes of some of the spectators, and realized that my words had been taken less seriously than I could have wished.
But my trump card was still up my sleeve.
"Remember, Your Abysmal Excellency," I warned, "only one man in all Wu is able to restore your ventilation. That man is I. If I perish, the secret perishes with me, and you will all be turned over by lack of air."
Half-suppressed groans from the spectators, and from Thuno's attendants, showed that this bolt had struck home.
"How do I know you speak truth?" demanded the Dictator, with a furious blare of the megaphone.
"Test me, Your Abysmal Excellency. If you will agree to my terms, I will restore the ventilation at any moment you stipulate."
"You talk like a madman!" barked my opponent through his megaphone. And then, after a moment's hesitation, "Still, there can be no harm in hearing your offer. If you do not keep your promise, there will always be time for punishment. What are your terms?"
For a moment I did not answer. I stood staring at the Dictator intently and was moved almost to pity for this contemptible being, with his shrivelled limbs and artificial organs. Nevertheless, I picked my words with the utmost caution, for I could see the guards behind me still creeping forward by inches, while my own followers made way before them; and I knew that the success or failure of my venture might depend upon my next utterance.
I knew that the success or failure of my venture might depend upon my next utterance.
"Your Abysmal Excellency," I began, "according to all reports, you have ruled long and notably. You have performed great services for the First Class and for your country. But it is not fair that any man, however willing, be harnessed too long with the yoke of state. After a time, his shoulders should be relieved of the burden, so that he may enjoy the pleasures of private life. It is for this reason, Your Abysmal Excellency—"
At this point, my speech was rudely halted. A blast of the Dictator's megaphone rang through the audience-chamber as shrilly as a cry for help. And Thuno Flâtum, straining forward with quivering form and face that turned all colors from white to purple, staggered out of his seat in his rage, shook his midget fist at me, and collapsed.
It was several minutes before his attendants could fan him back to life and his thoughts could find expression.
"What!" he howled through the megaphone, after being restored to himself. "What is that you suggest? You impudent rat! Do you have the daring, the effrontery to ask that I—that I step down—"
Choked by the fury of his own words, he was unable to continue.
An uneasy glance at the mirrors showed me that the guards were still creeping up from behind, while my followers made way before them like sheep. I did not care for the looks of their long gleaming pikes, nor did I like the fascinated glances which the spectators were fastening upon the pike-bearers, as if awaiting some interesting exhibition.
Therefore I realized that I must lose no time. "Your Abysmal Excellency," I pleaded, hastily, "you have caught my idea. For the good of your country and the restoration of ventilation, it is time that you step down, and that I step up—"
By now the Dictator had regained his breath sufficiently to interrupt me by bellowing through the megaphone. "So, you insolent hound! Now we have your terms, have we? You would displace me on the throne! You would displace me—me Thuno Flâtum, the High Chief Potentate of Wu! Seize him, guards! Seize him!"
Before I had time to leap aside, I felt heavy arms about my shoulders and found myself pinned in the iron grip of three guardsmen.
Though ready to collapse once more with the effort of so much speaking, Thuno Flâtum was able to bawl once more.
"Take him away! Away! At once! Waste no time! I'll sign the death warrant!"
Vainly I strove to command my followers, to order them to my rescue. But, automatons that they were, they failed at the crisis; something had gone wrong with the operation of the drug, and they seemed powerless to obey.
As the guards started to drag me off, I saw how excitedly the Dictator's twenty attendants were laboring to restore him to life.
"One minute!" I shouted to the guards. "I must have another word with his Abysmal Excellency!"
The guards stood hesitating. One of them pulled rudely at my shoulders, while I repeated the request; but the others seemed doubtful, and by virtue of loud appeals I was able to restrain them until Thuno Flâtum had recovered.
"Take him away! Away! At once!" reiterated the ruler angrily through his megaphone. "I'll sign the death warrant! We'll kill him by inches with sulphur fumes—"
While the guards started to drag me away once more, and my mind conjured up visions of suffocation by sulphur, I cried out in a last desperate plea.
"One minute, Your Excellency! Remember, if I die, you all die too! Without me, the air will remain off forever!"
"Without you, the air will remain off forever?" echoed Thuno Flâtum. "Then let it stay off! What do I care? Have I not my oxygen tanks?"
And derisively he pointed to the steel tanks connecting with his breathing tubes.
Quick as a flash, I saw my opportunity. "So you would breathe while your people smother?" I demanded. And then, turning to the guards, "Do your duty, men! Take me away! Thuno Flâtum, your master, will still breathe oxygen, while you will all smother!"
The effect of these words was electrical. One of the guards, releasing me with a hurried gesture, reached for his three-pointed helmet and flung it off, to reveal a gasping, perspiring individual close to the last stages of exhaustion.
"I'm through!" he groaned. "By the gray hairs of my ancestors, I'm through! For wakes and wakes I've been suffocating in this steel case! I'm not going to go without air altogether! Let some one else be turned over if they want! I'm going on strike!"
"So am I!" announced a second guard, snatching off his helmet.
"So am I!" snapped a third, and a fourth, and a fifth, until, in a moment, all the pike-bearers stood unhelmeted and rebellious. "I'm going on strike! On strike! On strike!"
"We want air!" one of them started the cry. And "We want air, we want air, we want air!" began to echo and reverberate throughout the whole great hall. And the guards, surging forward in an angry mass, lost all semblance of military order, but swung their pikes furiously in a chaos of rushing, pushing, scuffling, shouting forms.
For a moment, Thuno Flâtum was too thunderstricken for words. Then, as his attendants crowded about him protectively, I thought I heard his voice lifted during a momentary lull in the storm. "This is sedition! Sedition! I'll have you all violet-rayed! I'll have you all—"
But I did not hear the conclusion of the speech. Taking advantage of the hubbub, I had started hastily toward the door, ordering my attendants to follow.
An instant later, as I slipped into the safety of the passageway, I was aware only of the hoarse yelling of the guardsmen and of the confusion of waving pikes. At last the Revolution had begun!