THE ANDRIAN.
ACT I.
Scene I.
Simo, Sosia, and Slaves, carrying Provisions.
Simo. [60]Carry in those things, directly. (Exeunt Slaves.) Do you come hither Sosia; I have something to say to you.
Sosia. You mean, I suppose, that I should take care that these provisions are properly drest.
Simo. No; it’s quite another matter.
Sosia. In what else can my skill be of any service?
Simo. There is no need of your skill in the management of the affair I am now engaged in; all that I require of you is faithfulness and secrecy; qualities I know you to possess.
Sosia. I long to hear your commands.
Simo. You well know, Sosia, that from the time when I first bought you as my slave;[61] even from your childhood until the present moment; I have been a just and gentle master: you served me with a free spirit; and I gave you freedom; [62]as the greatest reward in my power to bestow.
Sosia. Believe me, Sir, I have not forgotten it.
Simo. Nor have you given me any cause to repent that I did so.[63]
Sosia. I am very glad, Simo, that my past, and present conduct has been pleasing to you; and I am grateful for your goodness in receiving my poor services so favourably: but it pains me to be thus reminded of the benefits you have conferred upon me, as it seems to upbraid me with having forgotten them.[64] Pray, Sir, let me request to know your will at once.
Simo. You shall; but first I must inform you that my son’s marriage, which you expect to take place, is only a feigned marriage.
Sosia. But why do you make use of this deceit?
Simo. [65]You shall hear every thing from the beginning; by which means you will learn my son’s course of life, my intentions, and the part I wish you to take in this affair. When my son, Pamphilus, arrived at man’s estate,[66] of course he was able to live more according to his own inclination: for, until a man has attained that age, his disposition does not discover itself, being kept in check either by his tutor, or by bashfulness, or by his tender years.
Sosia. That is very true.
Simo. Most young men attach themselves chiefly to one particular pursuit; such, for instance, as breeding horses, keeping hounds, or frequenting the schools of the philosophers.[67] He did not devote himself entirely to any one of these: but employed a moderate portion of his time in each; and I was much pleased to see it.
Sosia. As well you might, for I think that every man, in the conduct of his life, should adhere to this precept, “Avoid excess.”
Simo. This was his way of life; he bore patiently with every one, accommodated himself to the tempers of his associates; and fell in with them in their pursuits; avoided quarrels; and never arrogantly preferred himself before his companions. Conduct like this will ensure a man praise without envy, and gain many friends.
Sosia. This was indeed a wise course of life; for in these times[68], flattery makes friends; truth, foes.
Simo. Meantime, about three years ago, a certain woman, exceedingly beautiful, and in the flower of her age, removed into this neighbourhood; she came from the Island of Andros[69]; being compelled to quit it by her poverty and the neglect of her relations[70].
Sosia. I augur no good from this woman of Andros.
Simo. At first she lived chastely, and penuriously, and laboured hard, managing with difficulty to gain a livelihood[71] with the distaff and the loom: but soon afterwards several lovers made their addresses to her[72]; promising to repay her favours with rich presents; and as we all are naturally prone to pleasure, and averse to labour, she was induced to accept their offers; and at last admitted all her lovers without scruple. It happened that some of them with much persuasion prevailed on my son to accompany them to her house. Aha! thought I, he is caught[73]: he is certainly in love with her. In the morning I watched their pages going to her house and returning; I called one of them; Hark ye, boy, prithee tell me who was the favourite of Chrysis, yesterday? For this was the Andrian’s name.
Sosia. I understand you, Sir.
Simo. I was answered that it was Phædrus, or Clinia, or Niceratus; for all these were her lovers at that time: well, said I, and what did Pamphilus there! oh! he paid[74] his share and supped with the rest. Another day I inquired and received the same answer; and I was extremely rejoiced that I could learn nothing to attach any blame to my son. Then I thought that I had proved him sufficiently; and that he was a miracle of chastity:—for he who has to contend against the example of men of such vicious inclinations, and can preserve his mind from its pernicious influence, may very safely be trusted with the regulation of his own conduct. To increase my satisfaction, every body joined as if with one voice in the praise of Pamphilus, every one extolled his virtues, and my happiness, in possessing a son endued with so excellent a disposition. In short, this his high reputation induced my friend Chremes to come to me of his own accord, and offer to give his daughter to Pamphilus with a large dowry[75]. I contracted [76]my son, as I was much pleased with the match, which was to have taken place on this very day.
Sosia. And what has happened to prevent it?
Simo. You shall hear: within a few days of this time our neighbour Chrysis died.
Sosia. O happy news! I was still fearful of some mischief from this Andrian.
Simo. Upon this occasion my son was continually at the house with the lovers of Chrysis, and joined with them in the care of her funeral; meantime he was sad, and sometimes would even weep. Still I was pleased with all this; if, thought I, he is so much concerned at the death of so slight an acquaintance, how would he be afflicted at the loss of one whom he himself loved, or at my death. I attributed every thing to his humane and affectionate disposition; in short, I myself, for his sake, attended the funeral, even yet suspecting nothing.
Sosia. Ah! what has happened then?
Simo. I will tell you. The corpse is carried out; we follow: in the mean time, among the women who were there[77], I saw one young girl, with a form so——
Sosia. Lovely, without doubt.
Simo. And with a face, Sosia, so modest, and so charming, that nothing can surpass it; and as she appeared more afflicted than the others who were there, and so pre-eminently beautiful[78], and of so noble a carriage, I approach the women who were following the body[79], and inquire who she is: they answer, The sister of the deceased. Instantly the whole truth burst upon me at once: hence then, thought I, proceed those tears; this sister it is, who is the cause of all his affliction.
Sosia. How I dread to hear the end of all this!
Simo. In the mean time the procession advances; we follow, and arrive at the tomb[80]: the corpse is placed on the pile[81], and quickly enveloped in flames; they weep; while the sister I was speaking of, rushed forward in an agony of grief toward the fire; and her imprudence exposed her to great danger. Then, then it was, that Pamphilus, half dead with terror, publicly betrayed the love he had hitherto so well concealed: he flew to the spot, and throwing his arms around her with all the tenderness imaginable; my dearest Glycera, cried he, what are you about to do? Why do you rush upon destruction? Upon which she threw herself weeping upon his bosom in so affectionate a manner, that it was easy enough to perceive their mutual love.
Sosia. How! is this possible!
Simo. I returned home, scarcely able to contain my anger; but yet I had not sufficient cause to chide Pamphilus openly; as he might have replied to me, What have I done amiss, my father? or how have I offended you? of what am I guilty? I have preserved the life of one who was going to throw herself into the flames: I prevented her: this would have been a plausible excuse.
Sosia. You consider this rightly, Sir; for if he who has helped to save a life is to be blamed for it; what must be done to him who is guilty of violence and injustice?
Simo. The next day Chremes came to me, and complained of being shamefully used, as he had discovered for a certainty that Pamphilus had actually married this strange woman[82]. I positively denied that this was the case, and he as obstinately insisted on the truth of it: at last I left him, as he was absolutely resolved to break off the match.
Sosia. Did you not then rebuke Pamphilus?
Simo. No: there was nothing yet so flagrant as to justify my rebuke.
Sosia. How so, Sir, pray explain?
Simo. He might have answered me thus: you yourself, my father, have fixed the time when this liberty must cease; and the period is at hand when I must conform myself to the pleasure of another: permit me then, I beseech you, for the short space that remains to me, to live as my own will prompts me.
Sosia. True. What cause of complaint can you then find against him?
Simo. If he is induced by his love for this stranger, to refuse to marry Philumena in obedience to my commands, that offence will lay him open to my anger; and I am now endeavouring by means of this feigned marriage, to find a just cause of complaint against him: and, at the same time, if that rogue Davus has any subtle scheme on foot, this will induce him to bring it forward now, when it can do no harm; as I believe that rascal will leave no stone unturned in the affair; though more for the sake of tormenting me, than with a view to serve or gratify my son.
Sosia. Why do you suspect that?
Simo. Why? because of a wicked mind one can expect nothing but wicked intentions[83]. But if I catch him at his tricks—However, ’tis in vain to say more: if it appear, as I trust it will, that my son makes no objection to the marriage, I have only to gain Chremes, whom I must prevail upon by entreaty; and I have great hopes that I shall accomplish it. What I wish you to do is, to assist me in giving out this marriage for truth, to terrify Davus, and to watch the conduct of my son, what he does; and what course he and his hopeful servant resolve upon.
Sosia. It is enough, Sir; I will take care to obey you. Now, I suppose, we may go in.
Simo. Go, I will follow presently[84].
[Exit Sosia.
Scene II.
Scene II.
Simo, Davus.
Simo. My son, I have no doubt, will refuse to marry; for I observed that Davus seemed terribly perplexed just now, when he heard that the match was to take place: but here he comes[85].
Davus. (not seeing Simo.) I wondered that this affair seemed likely to pass off so easily! and always mistrusted the drift of my old master’s extraordinary patience and gentleness; who, though he was refused the wife he wished for, for his son, never mentioned a word of it to us, or seemed to take any thing amiss.
Simo. (aside.) But now he will, as you shall feel, rascal.
Davus. His design was to entrap us while we were indulging in an ill-founded joy, and fancied ourselves quite secure. He wished to take advantage of our heedlessness, and make up the match before we could prevent him: what a crafty old fellow!
Simo. How this rascal prates[86]!
Davus. Here is my master! he has overheard me! I never saw him!
Simo. Davus.
Davus. Who calls Davus?
Simo. Come hither, sirrah.
Davus. (aside.) What can he want with me?
Simo. What were you saying?
Davus. About what, Sir?
Simo. About what, Sir? The world says that my son has an intrigue.
Davus. Oh! Sir, the world cares a great deal about that, no doubt.
Simo. Are you attending to this, Sir?
Davus. Yes, Sir, certainly.
Simo. It does not become me to inquire too strictly into the truth of these reports. I shall not concern myself in what he has done hitherto; for as long as circumstances allowed of it, I left him to himself: but it is now high time that he should alter and lead a new life. Therefore, Davus, I command, and even entreat, that you will prevail on him to amend his conduct.
Davus. What is the meaning of all this discourse?
Simo. Those who have love intrigues on their hands are generally very averse to marriage.
Davus. So I have heard.
Simo. And if any of them manage such an affair after the counsel of a knave, ’tis a hundred to one but the rogue will take advantage of their weakness, and lead them a step further, from being love-sick to some still greater scrape or imprudence.
Davus. Truly, Sir, I don’t understand what you said last.
Simo. No! not understand it!
Davus. No. I am not Œdipus[87] but Davus.
Simo. Then you wish that what I have to say should be explained openly and without reserve.
Davus. Certainly I do.
Simo. Then, sirrah, if I discover that you endeavour to prevent my son’s marriage by any of your crafty tricks; or interfere in this business to show your cunning; you may rely on receiving a few scores of lashes, and a situation in the grinding-house[88] for life: upon this token, moreover, that when I liberate you from thence, I will grind in your stead. Is this plain enough for you, or don’t you understand yet?
Davus. Oh, perfectly! you come to the point at once: you don’t use much circumlocution, i’faith.
Simo. Remember! In this affair above all others, if you begin plotting, I will never forgive it.
Davus. Softly, worthy Sir, softly, good words I beg of you.
Simo. So! you are merry upon it, are you, but I am not to be imposed upon. I advise you, finally, to take care what you do: you cannot say you have not had fair warning.
[Exit.
Scene III.
Scene III[89].
Davus.
In truth, friend Davus, from what I have just heard from the old man about the marriage, I think thou hast no time to lose. This affair must be [90]handled dexterously, or either my young master or I must be quite undone. Nor have I yet resolved which side to take; whether I shall assist Pamphilus, or obey his father. If I abandon the son, I fear his happiness will be destroyed: if I help him, I dread the threats of the old man, who is as crafty as a fox. First, he has discovered his son’s intrigue, and keeps a jealous eye upon me, lest I should set some scheme a-foot to retard the marriage. If he finds out the least thing, I am undone[91], for right or wrong, if he once takes the whim into his head, he will soon find a pretence for sending me to grind in the mill for my life; and, to crown our disasters, this Andrian, Pamphilus’s wife or mistress, I know not which, is with child by him: ’tis strange enough to hear their presumption. I think their [92]intentions savour more of madness than of any thing else: boy or girl, say they, the child shall be brought up[93]. They have made up among them too, some story or other, to prove that she is a citizen of Athens[94]. Thus runs the tale. Once upon a time there was a certain old merchant[95], who was shipwrecked upon the island of Andros, where he afterwards died, and the father of Chrysis took in his helpless little orphan, who was this very Glycera. Fables! for my part I don’t believe a word of it: however, they themselves are vastly pleased with the story. But here comes her maid Mysis. Well, I’ll betake myself to the Forum[96], and look for Pamphilus: lest his father should surprise him with this marriage before I can tell him any thing of the matter.
[Exit.
Scene IV.
Scene IV.
Mysis.
[97]I understand you, Archillis: you need not stun me with the same thing over so often: you want me to fetch the midwife Lesbia: in truth, she’s very fond of the dram-bottle, and very headstrong; and I should think she was hardly skilful enough to attend a woman in her first labour.—However, I’ll bring her.——Mark how [98]importunate this [99]old baggage is to have her fellow-gossip, that they may tipple together. Well, may Diana grant my [100]poor mistress a happy minute; and that Lesbia’s want of skill may be shewn any where rather than here. But what do I see? here comes Pamphilus, seemingly half-distracted, surely something is the matter. I will stay and see whether this agitation is not the forerunner of some misfortune.
Scene V.
Scene V.
Pamphilus, Mysis[101].
Pam. Heavens! is it possible that any human being, much less a father, could be guilty of an action like this?
Mysis. (aside.) What can be the matter?
Pam. By the faith of gods and men, if ever any one was unworthily treated, I am. He peremptorily resolved that I should be married on this very day. Why was not I informed of this before? Why was not I consulted?
Mysis. (aside.) Miserable woman that I am! what do I hear?
Pam. And why has Chremes changed his mind, who obstinately persisted in refusing me his daughter, after he heard of my imprudence[102]? Can he do this to tear me from my dearest Glycera? Alas! if I lose her, I am utterly undone. Was there ever such an unfortunate lover?—was there ever such an unhappy man as I am? Heavens and earth! will this persecution never end? Shall I never hear the last of this detested marriage? How have I been insulted; how have I been slighted! First of all, the match is agreed on, every thing is prepared, then I am rejected, now I am courted again. I cannot, for the soul of me, discover the reason of all this; however, I shrewdly suspect that this daughter of Chremes is either hideously [103]ugly, or that something is amiss in her; and so, because he can find no one else to take her off his hands, he comes to me.
Mysis. (aside.) Bless me! I’m almost frightened out of my senses.
Pam. But what shall I say of my father’s behaviour? Ought an affair of such consequence to be treated so lightly? Meeting me just now in the Forum, Pamphilus, said he, you are to be married to-day, get ready, make haste home; it seemed as if he said, go quickly and hang yourself. I stood amazed and motionless; not one single word could I pronounce; not one single excuse could I make, though it had been ever so absurd, false, or unreasonable: I was quite speechless. If any one were to ask me now, what I would have done, if I had known of this before? I answer, I would have done any thing in the world to prevent this hateful marriage; but now what course can I take? A thousand cares distract my mind. On one side, I am called upon by love and my compassion for this unfortunate: on the other by their continued importunities for my marriage with Philumena, and a fear of offending my father, who has been hitherto so indulgent to me, and complied with my every wish; and can I now oppose his will? Alas! I am still wavering; I can resolve upon nothing.
Mysis. Unhappy wretch that I am. I dread how this wavering may end at last; but now it is of the utmost consequence either that I should say something to him respecting my mistress, or that he should see her himself; for the least thing in the world may turn the scale, while the mind is in suspense.
Pam. Whose voice is that? Oh, Mysis, welcome.
Mysis. Oh! Sir, well met.
Pam. How is your mistress?
Mysis. Do you not know? she is in labour[104], and her anguish is increased tenfold at the thought of this being the day formerly appointed for your marriage. Her greatest fear is lest you should forsake her.
Pam. Heavens! could I have the heart even to think of so base an action? Can I deceive an unfortunate who has intrusted her all to me? and whom I have always tenderly loved as my wife? Can I suffer that she, who has been brought up in the paths of modesty and virtue, should be exposed to want; [105]and perhaps even to dishonour? I never can, I never will permit it!
Mysis. Ah! Sir, if you were your own master, I should fear nothing; but I dread lest you should not be able to withstand your father’s commands.
Pam. Do you then think me so cowardly, so ungrateful too, so inhuman, and so cruel, that neither our intimate connexion, nor love, nor even shame can prevail upon me, or influence me to keep my promise?
Mysis. I am sure of this; she does not deserve that you should forget her.
Pam. Forget her! O Mysis, Mysis, the last words that Chrysis spoke to me, are still engraved upon my heart, already at the point of death; she calls for me; I approach; you all retire: we are alone with her: she speaks thus,—My dear Pamphilus; you see the youth and beauty of this dear girl; I need not tell you how little these endowments are calculated to secure either her property or her honour; I call upon you then, by the pledge of this hand you now extend to me, and by the natural goodness of your disposition[106]; by your plighted faith, and by her helpless situation, I conjure you not to forsake her. If ever I have loved you as my brother, if ever she has obeyed you as her husband, take her, I implore you, as your wife; be to her a [107]friend, a guardian, a parent; to you I confide our little wealth; in your honour I put all my trust.—She placed the hand of Glycera in mine, and expired. I received the precious gift, and never will I relinquish it.
Mysis. Heaven forbid you ever should!
Pam. But why are you abroad at this time?
Mysis. I am going for the midwife.
Pam. Make haste then; and Mysis, do you hear; say not a word to your mistress about this marriage, lest that should increase her sufferings.
Mysis. I understand you, Sir.
END OF THE FIRST ACT.
ACT II.
Scene I.
Scene I.
Charinus, Byrrhia[108].
Char. What is it you tell me, Byrrhia; is she then to be married to Pamphilus; and is the wedding to take place even on this very day?
Byrr. It is even so, Sir.
Char. How do you know it?
Byrr. From Davus, whom I met just now in the Forum.
Char. Alas! the measure of my wretchedness is now full: my soul has hitherto fluctuated between my hopes and fears; but now all hope is lost, I sink wearied and care-worn into utter despair.
Byrr[109]. I beseech you, O Charinus, [110]to wish for something possible, since what you now wish for is impossible!
Char. I can wish for nothing but Philumena!
Byrr. Ah! how much wiser you would be, if instead of talking thus, which only serves to nourish [111]a hopeless passion; you would endeavour to subdue, and banish it entirely from your heart.
Char. How readily do those who are in health give good counsel to the diseased! if you were in my situation you would not talk thus.
Byrr. Well, well, as you please, Sir.
Char. But I see Pamphilus coming this way. I am resolved to attempt every thing before I am quite undone.
Byrr. What is he going about now?
Char. I will entreat even my rival himself, I will implore him, I will tell him of my love. I trust I shall be able to prevail upon him, at least to postpone his marriage for a few days; meantime I hope something may happen in my favour.
Byrr. That something is nothing at all.
Char. What think you, Byrrhia; shall I speak to him?
Byrr. Why not? that even if you can obtain nothing, you may make him think, at least, that Philumena will find a pressing gallant in you, if he marries her[112].
Char. Get away, rascal, with your base suspicions.
Scene II.
Scene II.
Charinus, Byrrhia, Pamphilus.
Pam. Ha! Charinus, I hope you are well, Sir.
Char. Oh, Pamphilus!——I come to implore from you hope, safety, counsel, and assistance.
Pam. Truly, I myself have need of counsel, and assistance too: but what is this affair?
Char. You are to be married to-day!
Pam. Ay, they say so.
Char. If you are, Pamphilus, you see me to-day for the last time[113].
Pam. Why so?
Char. Alas! I dread to speak it! tell him, Byrrhia, I beseech you.
Byrr. I will.
Pam. What is it, speak?
Byrr. My master loves Philumena to distraction, and hears that she is betrothed to you.
Pam. Truly, he and I are not of the same mind then; but prithee now, Charinus, tell me, has nothing passed between you and Philumena?
Char. Ah! Pamphilus, nothing.
Pam. I wish with all my soul there had!
Char. I implore you then, by all the ties of friendship, and tried affection, never to wed her: this is my first request.
Pam. Never! if I can help it, believe me.
Char. But if you cannot grant me this, and earnestly desire the match——
Pam. I desire it!
Char. At least defer it for a day or two, that I may go from here, and avoid the misery of being obliged to witness it.
Pam. Listen to me, Charinus; I think it is by no means the part of a man of honour to claim thanks, where none are due to him. I am more desirous to avoid Philumena, than you are to obtain her.
Char. My dearest friend! your words have given me new life.
Pam. Now, if either you, or Byrrhia here, can do any thing; for [114]Heaven’s sake do it; contrive, invent, and manage if you can, that she may be given to you; I meantime will do all in my power to prevent her from being given to me.
Char. I am satisfied.
Pam. But here comes Davus, most opportunely; I rely entirely upon his advice.
Char. [to Byrrhia.] But as for you, you can tell me nothing but what I don’t care to hear. Begone, sirrah.
Byrr. With all my heart, Sir.
[Exit.
Scene III.
Scene III.
Charinus, Pamphilus, Davus.
Davus. Heaven! what a world of good news do I bring! but, [to himself,] where shall I find Pamphilus? that I may relieve him from his present fears, and fill his soul with joy.
Char. He seems to be very much pleased at something; he’s mighty merry.
Pam. Oh! ’tis nothing at all: he does not yet know of this unfortunate affair.
Davus. [to himself.] For if he has heard that he is to be married to-day.
Char. Do you hear what he says?
Davus. I’ll be bound he’s at this very moment half distracted, and seeking for me all over the town: but where shall I find him, or which way shall I now direct my course.
Char. Why do you not speak to him?
Davus [going.] Well, I’ll go.
Pam. Stop, Davus.
Davus. Who calls me? Oh! Pamphilus! I was seeking for you every where. Charinus, too! well met, Sir; I wanted both of you.
Pam. Oh Davus, I am quite undone.
Davus. But hear me.
Pam. I am quite ruined!
Davus. I know all your fears.
Char. And as for me, my very existence is at stake!
Davus. I know your affair also[115].
Pam. A marriage is——
Davus. I know that also.
Pam. This very day too.
Davus. You stun me; I tell you I know every thing already. You, Pamphilus, fear lest you should be compelled to marry Philumena; and you, Charinus, lest you should not marry her.
Char. Exactly so.
Pam. ’Tis the very thing.
Davus. Then, Sir, in that very thing there is no danger at all; take my word for it.
Pam. For heaven’s sake, Davus, if you can do so, rid me of my fears at once.
Davus. I banish them all; Chremes does not intend to give you his daughter at present.
Pam. How do you know that?
Davus. I am sure of it. Your father took me aside just now, and told me that he meant to have you married to-day; and added a great deal more, which I have not time to tell you at present. Immediately I run at full speed to the Forum, to look for you; that I may acquaint you with all this. Not being able to find you, I get upon an eminence, look around; you are no where to be seen. By chance I descry among the crowd, Charinus’ servant Byrrhia; I inquire of him; he knows nothing of you: how vexatious! quite perplexed; I begin to consider what course to take next. Meantime as I was returning and thinking the business over, a suspicion struck me. How’s this! thought I; no extra provision made, the old man gloomy, and the marriage to take place so suddenly! these things don’t appear consistent.
Pam. Well, what then?
Davus. I then go directly to Chremes’ house; but when I get there, not a soul [116]do I see before the door; every thing is quite still and quiet, [117]which pleased me not a little.
Char. Very good.
Pam. Go on.
Davus. I stay there a little while, but no one goes in or out; I come quite up to the door, and look in, [118]but can see no bridemaid; no preparations[119]; all was silent.
Pam. I understand: a good sign!
Davus. Can all these things be consistent with a marriage?
Pam. I think not, Davus.
Davus. Think not! do you say? you must be blind, Sir, not to see it: it is an absolute certainty: besides all this, as I was returning I met Chremes’ servant, who was carrying home some herbs, and as many little [120]fishes for the old man’s supper, as might have cost an obolus.
Char. Friend Davus, you have been my deliverer to-day.
Davus. Not at all, Sir, this does not benefit you.
Char. How so? why Chremes certainly will not give his daughter to Pamphilus.
Davus. Nonsense; as if it followed of course that he must give her to you, because he does not give her to him: if you do not take care; if you do not use all your endeavours, to gain the support of the old man’s friends, you will be no nearer your wishes than ever[121].
Char. You advise me well; I will go about it, though in truth this hope has often deceived me before. Farewell.
[Exit.
Scene IV.
Scene IV.
Pamphilus, Davus.
Pam. What then can my father mean? why does he thus dissemble?
Davus. I will tell you, Sir. He knows very well that it would be unreasonable in him to be angry with you, because Chremes has refused to give you his daughter, nor can he take any thing amiss, before he knows how your mind stands affected towards the marriage; but if you should refuse to marry, all the blame will be thrown on you, and a grievous disturbance created.
Pam. What then, shall I bear it patiently, and consent to marry?
Davus. He is your father, Pamphilus, and it would not be easy to oppose him: Glycera moreover is [122]destitute and friendless, and he would speedily find some pretext or other to banish her from the city[123].
Pam. Banish her.
Davus. Ay, directly.
Pam. Oh Davus, what shall I do?
Davus. Tell him that you are ready to marry.
Pam. Ah!
Davus. What’s the matter?
Pam. Can I tell him so?
Davus. Why not?
Pam. Never.
Davus. Be advised, Sir, tell him so.
Pam. Do not attempt to persuade me to it.
Davus. Consider the result.
Pam. Torn for ever from my Glycera, I should be wedded to another.
Davus. You are mistaken, Sir, listen to me: your father, I expect, will speak to you to this effect. Pamphilus, ’tis my will that you should be married to-day. I am ready, Sir; you shall answer: how can he then complain of you? All his plans on which he places so much reliance will be rendered abortive, and entirely frustrated by this reply; which you may very safely make; as it is beyond a doubt that Chremes will persist in refusing you his daughter; therefore do not let the fear of his changing his [124]mind, prevent you from following my advice. Tell your father that you are willing to marry; that when he seeks a cause of complaint against you, he may not be able to find any. As to the hopes you indulge, that no man will give his daughter to you, on account of this imprudent [125]connexion that you have formed; I will soon convince you of their fallacy; for believe me, your father would rather see you wedded to poverty itself, than suffer you to continue your present intimacy with Glycera; but if he thinks you are indifferent, he will grow unconcerned, and look out another wife at his leisure; meantime something may happen in your favour.
Pam. Do you think so?
Davus. There is no doubt of it.
Pam. Be cautious whither you lead me.
Davus. Pray, Sir, say no more about it.
Pam. I will act as you advise me; but we must take care that he knows nothing of the child, for I have promised to bring it up.
Davus. [126]Is it possible?
Pam. She entreated me to promise this as a pledge that I would not forsake her.
Davus. Enough. I will be on my guard; but here comes your father: take care that you do not appear melancholy or embarrassed.
Scene IV.
Scene V.
Davus, Pamphilus, Simo.
Simo. [to himself.] I am come back again, to see what they are about; or what course they resolve upon.
Davus. He is fully persuaded that you will refuse to marry, and has been ruminating by himself in some corner, where he has prepared an harangue with which he expects to embarrass you: therefore take care to be on your guard.
Pam. I will, Davus, if I can.
Davus. Do but tell him that you are ready to marry in obedience to his wishes, and you’ll strike the old gentleman dumb: he’ll not mention the subject again, I’ll answer for it.
Scene VI.
Scene VI.
Simo, Davus, Pamphilus, Byrrhia.
Byrr. [to himself.] My master has given me orders to lay all other business aside and watch Pamphilus to-day, that I may discover how he acts touching this marriage; so [127]as I saw the old man coming this way, I followed him. Oh! here is Davus, and his master with him: now then to execute my commission.
Simo. Oh! there they are together.
Davus. [aside to Pamphilus.] Now, Sir, be on your guard.
Simo. Pamphilus.
Davus. [aside to Pamphilus.] Turn round suddenly, as if you had not perceived him.
Pam. Ha! my father.
Davus. [aside.] Acted to the life.
Simo. I intend, (as I told you before), to have you married to-day.
Byrr. [aside.] Now for my master’s[128] sake, I dread to hear his answer.
Pam. You shall not find me tardy in obeying your commands, Sir, either on this, or any other subject.
Byrr. [aside.] Ha! I am[129] struck dumb. What did he say?
Simo. You do your duty, when you meet my wishes with a ready compliance.
Davus. [aside to Pam.] Was I not right, Sir?
Byrr. [aside.] From what I hear, I fancy my master has nothing to do, but to provide himself with another mistress as soon as possible[130].
Simo. Now, Pamphilus, go in immediately, that you may be ready when you are wanted.
Pam. I go, Sir.
[Exit.
Byrr. [aside.] Is there no honour, no sincerity in any man? I find the common proverb to be true. Every man loves himself best. I have seen Philumena, and I remember that I thought her charming; in truth, I cannot much blame Pamphilus, that he had rather wed her himself than yield her to my master. Well, I’ll carry him an account of what has passed. I suppose I shall receive an abundance of bad language in return for my bad news[131].
[Exit.
Scene VII.
Scene VII.
Davus, Simo.
Davus. [aside.] The old man thinks I have some scheme on foot, and stay here now to play it off upon him.
Simo. Well, what says Davus?
Davus. Nothing, Sir, just at present.
Simo. Nothing? indeed!
Davus. Nothing at all.
Simo. But yet I expected something.
Davus. [aside.] He [132]has missed his aim! I see this nettles him to the quick.
Simo. Is it possible that for once you can speak truth?
Davus. Nothing can be easier.
Simo. Tell me then, does not this marriage very much distress my son, on account of his partiality for this Andrian.
Davus. By Hercules, not at all: or if indeed he feels a slight uneasiness for a day or two, you know it will not last longer than that, for he has reflected on the subject, and sees it in its true light, I assure you, Sir.
Simo. I commend him for it.
Davus. While circumstances allowed him, and while [133]his youth in some measure excused him, I confess he did intrigue a little; but then he took care to conceal it from the world: he was cautious, [134]as a gentleman should be, not to disgrace himself by giving room for any scandalous reports; but now as he must marry, he inclines his thoughts to marriage.
Simo. Yet, he appeared to me, to be rather melancholy[135].
Davus. Not at all on that account, but he is a little vexed with you.
Simo. About what?
Davus. Oh! a mere trifle.
Simo. But what is it?
Davus. Nothing worth speaking of.
Simo. But tell me what it is?
Davus. He says you are too sparing of your purse.
Simo. Who? I?
Davus. You. My father, said he, has scarcely spent ten drachms for the wedding supper[136]: does this look like the marriage of his son? I cannot invite my companions even on such an occasion as this. Indeed, Sir[137], I think you are too frugal: it is not well timed.
Simo. [angrily.] Hold your tongue.
Davus. [aside.] I’ve [138]ruffled him now!
Simo. I will take care that every thing is as it should be. Away! [Exit Davus.] What can all this be about? what can this crafty knave mean? if there is any mischief on foot, this fellow is sure to be the contriver of it.
END OF THE SECOND ACT.
ACT III.
Scene I.
Scene I.
Mysis, Simo, Davus, Lesbia[139], Glycera[140].
Mysis. Indeed, Lesbia, what you say is very true: one scarcely ever meets with a constant lover.
[Simo to Davus.] This girl belongs to Glycera! Ha! Davus?
Davus. Yes.
Mysis. But as for Pamphilus——
Simo. [aside.] What’s that?
Mysis. He has kept his promise.
Simo. [aside.] Ha!
Davus. [aside.] Would to Heaven that he were deaf, or that she were dumb.
Mysis. For girl, or boy, he has given orders that the child shall be brought up[141].
Simo. O Jupiter! what do I hear? it is all over, if what she says be truth.
Lesbia. What you tell me, is a proof of a good disposition.
Mysis. His is most excellent; but now let us go, lest we should be wanted before we arrive.
Lesbia. I follow you.
[They go in.
Davus. [aside.] Here’s a pretty disaster! how shall I be able to remedy this evil?
[Simo to himself.] What’s this? Is he so mad? A foreigner too! [142]phoo! now I see through it all! how simple I must be not to discover it at first.
Davus. What does he say he has discovered?
Simo. Davus, that indefatigable contriver of mischief, is the chief mover of all this roguery. They pretend the birth of a child, that they may deter Chremes from the match.
[Glycera cries out from the house.] O Juno Lucina, help! save me! I beseech thee[143].
Simo. Hey day! what already! ha! ha! ha! how preposterous! the moment she finds out that I am within hearing, she begins to cry out. Why, Davus, your incidents are not well [144]timed at all, man.
Davus. Mine!
Simo. Have your actors forgotten their parts?
Davus. I don’t understand you really, Sir.
Simo. What an object of derision! what a laughing-stock [145]would this rascal have made of me, if he had played off this fine trick in a real marriage: but now he is shipwrecked whilst I am safe in port.
Scene II.
Scene II.
Lesbia, Simo, Davus.
Lesbia. Hitherto, Archillis, she has all the usual symptoms of doing well. Now, first, let her be bathed[146]: and, after that, give her the drink, in the quantities I directed. I shall return immediately. Upon my life, Pamphilus has got a very pretty boy. Heaven grant he may live to make a good man! for his father is a worthy youth, who would not wrong this innocent young creature.
[Exit.
Simo. (to Davus.) Could any one, who knew you, doubt for a moment that you were the contriver of this?
Davus. Contriver! of what, Sir?
Simo. The midwife never gave her orders about the treatment of her patient while she was in the house: but, after she was come out of doors, she bawls from the street to those within. O Davus, am I so despised by you? or do I appear to you a fit subject to practise such barefaced tricks upon? The least you could have done, was to have acted cautiously, that I might, at any rate, seem to be feared, if I had discovered it.
Davus. (aside.) By Jupiter, he cheats himself: I am sure I’ve no hand in it.
Simo. Did I not warn you? Did I not threaten you with the consequences of this? But what care you? ’Twas all to no purpose! Do you think that I really believe that Glycera has borne a child to Pamphilus?
Davus. I see his error now, and know my cue.
Simo. Why don’t you speak?
Davus. What! not believe it! as if you had not been told of all this before!
Simo. I told of it!
Davus. Ha! ha! Could you, of yourself, have discovered that this was all pretended?
Simo. I am laughed at!
Davus. You must have been told of it: how else could you have suspected any thing?
Simo. How! because I know you thoroughly, sirrah.
Davus. Meaning, Sir, I suppose, that this was done by my advice?
Simo. Certainly: there can’t be the least doubt of that.
Davus. I’m sorry, Simo, that you don’t yet know me better.
Simo. What! not know you?
Davus. The moment I begin to speak, you imagine that I am trying to impose upon you.
Simo. Quite without cause, hey, Mr. Innocence?
Davus. Truly, at this rate, I shall hardly dare open my [147]mouth.
Simo. One thing I am sure of; that this child-birth is all counterfeited.
Davus. You have discovered the truth; but, nevertheless, they will not fail to lay a child at our door very shortly. I tell you, Sir, beforehand, that this will happen, that you may be prepared for it; and not afterwards say, that it was done by the advice and contrivance of Davus. Indeed, Sir, I wish to remove the unjust opinion you entertain of me.
Simo. How do you know this?
Davus. I heard it, and believe it to be true. Many circumstances induce me to form this conjecture. First of all, this girl affirms that she is with child by Pamphilus, which I have discovered to be false. Now, finding that the marriage preparations are going forward in our house[148], she sends her maid to fetch a midwife, and to provide a child[149]: at the same time, thinking that unless they managed that you should see a child, the marriage would not be impeded.
Simo. But, as you had discovered all this, why did you not directly acquaint my son with their designs?
Davus. Why, Sir, who was it that prevailed on him to break off the connexion? was it not Davus? We all know how madly he loved her: but now, on the contrary, he prudently resolves to marry. In short, Sir, leave this business to me: and do you persevere, (as you have begun,) in forwarding the marriage: and, I trust, that Heaven will be propitious to your endeavours!
Simo. Well, now, go in, and wait for me.
Scene III.
Scene III.
Simo.
Simo. I am not exactly inclined to believe this fellow; and I know not whether all that he has been telling me is true, neither do I much care. Pamphilus has given me his promise; that I conceive to be of the greatest consequence. Now, I will go to Chremes, and entreat him to give his daughter to my son. If I prevail, what can I do better than celebrate the marriage this very day? As for Pamphilus, if he refuse, I have no doubt I can compel him to keep his promise[150]. And, most opportunely for my purpose, I see Chremes himself coming this way.
Scene IV.
Scene IV.
Simo, Chremes[151].
Simo. Chremes, I am very glad to see you!
Chremes. O! Simo, I was looking for you.
Simo. And I for you.
Chremes. I meet you most opportunely. Several persons came to me, and asserted, that you had told them, that my daughter was to be given in marriage to your son to-day. For this reason, I came to see whether they have lost their senses, or you your’s.
Simo. Hear me, Chremes; and you shall know, both what you come to ask, and what I desire of you.
Chremes. I am all attention: pray proceed.
Simo. I conjure you, by the gods, and by our friendship, Chremes, which has grown up with us from our earliest years, and strengthened with our age: for the sake of your daughter, your only child: and, for the sake of my son, whose welfare depends entirely upon you; I entreat you to assist me in this affair: and renew your consent to the marriage of our children.
Chremes. Ah, Simo, what need of prayers? as if it were necessary to use so much entreaty with me, your friend. Do you think that I am less your friend than when I offered my daughter to your son? If the marriage will conduce to their mutual happiness, in Heaven’s name, send for my daughter, and let them marry at once: but, if it be found, that it would tend to the detriment, rather than to the advantage, of both; I beseech you to consult their mutual benefit, without partiality, as if you were the father of Philumena, and I of Pamphilus.
Simo. Truly, Chremes, it is with that view that I wish their union, and entreat you to consent to it. Neither should I press it so earnestly upon you, if the present aspect of the affair did not justify my urgency.
Chremes. How so, pray?
Simo. Glycera and my son have quarrelled!
Chremes. Indeed! I hear you.
Simo. And the breach between them is so great, that I trust that we shall be able entirely to detach Pamphilus from her society.
Chremes. Fables!
Simo. Upon my honour what I tell you is a fact.
Chremes. A fact, by Hercules, that I’ll explain to you. The quarrels of lovers, is the renewal[152] of their love.
Simo. You are right, and that is the reason of my request: I am anxious that we should seize this opportunity to prevent them, while his love is weakened by her insolence and upbraidings. Let us then hasten his marriage, before the artifices and hypocritical tears of these creatures recal his love-sick mind to pity. And, I trust, Chremes, that a well-assorted marriage, and the endearing society of his wife, will enable my son to extricate himself easily from their toils.
Chremes. You may view the affair in that light: but I cannot think, either that Pamphilus could be faithful to my daughter, or that I could bear to see him otherwise.
Simo. But how do you know that, without you put him to the trial.
Chremes. But to stake the happiness of my daughter on that trial, is hard indeed.
Simo. Yet the most serious mischief, after all, can amount but to a separation[153], which may the gods avert. But, on the other hand, if he fulfils our wishes, consider the advantages that will result from the marriage: in the first place, you will restore to your friend a son: you will ensure to yourself, a dutiful son: and, to your daughter, a faithful husband.
Chremes. What occasion for so many words: if you think this step so very essential to reclaim your son, I should be sorry to throw any impediment in your way.
Simo. O Chremes! you well deserve the love I’ve always borne you.
Chremes. But tell me——
Simo. What?
Chremes. How did you learn their quarrel?
Simo. I was informed of it by Davus himself, who is the confidant of all their counsels; and he persuaded me to do all in my power to forward the marriage: would he have done so, do you think, had he not known it to be consonant to my son’s wishes? But you yourself shall hear what he says. Within, there: send Davus hither; but here he is, I see him coming forth.
Scene V.
Scene V.
Simo, Chremes, Davus.
Davus. I was coming to you, Sir.
Simo. What is it?
Davus. Why is not the bride brought? it grows late[154ᴬ].
Simo. (to Chremes.) Do you hear him? I confess to you, Davus, that, till lately, I have been fearful, that you would prove perfidious[154ᴮ], like the common herd of slaves, and deceive me in this intrigue of Pamphilus.
Davus. I do such a thing, Sir!
Simo. I did suspect it, and, on that very account, I concealed from you what I will now disclose.
Davus. What is that, Sir?
Simo. You shall hear: for, at last, I begin to think that I may trust you.
Davus. Ah, Sir, you now appreciate my character as you ought; you now see what kind of man I am.
Simo. This marriage was all counterfeited.
Davus. Counterfeited!
Simo. Yes, for the purpose of proving you and my son, and to try how you would receive the proposal.
Davus. How! is it possible?
Simo. Fact, I assure you.
Davus. I never could have fathomed this design; what a profound contrivance! deep, Sir, very deep. (bantering.)
Simo. But hear me out. After I sent you in, I most opportunely met my friend Chremes.
Davus. (aside.) How! what does he say? All is lost, I fear.
Simo. I related to him what you had just before related to me.
Davus. (aside.) What do I hear!
Simo. I entreated him to give his daughter to Pamphilus, and, with great difficulty, prevailed upon him to consent.
Davus. (aside.) How unfortunate!
Simo. Ha! what’s that you say[155]?
Davus. How very fortunate, I say.
Simo. Chremes now consents to an immediate union.
Chremes. Well, I will now return home, and order every thing to be prepared: when all is ready, I shall let you know.
[Exit.
Scene VI.
Scene VI.
Simo, Davus.
Simo. Now, I entreat you, Davus, since you have brought about the marriage entirely by yourself——
Davus. (aside.) Yes, I have the credit of it entirely to myself. O! curse my unlucky stars.
Simo.——to use all your influence with Pamphilus to induce him to give up his present connexion with Glycera.
Davus. I’ll do all in my power, Sir.
Simo. You will find less difficulty now, while he is angry with his mistress.
Davus. Be at ease, Sir, and rely on me.
Simo. About it then at once: but where is my son now?
Davus. I should not wonder if he were at home.
Simo. I will go and tell him what I have just told you.
Scene VII.
Scene VII.
Davus (alone).
I am utterly undone: why do I not at once go straight to the grinding-house. ’Twill be to no purpose to implore mercy: I’ve overturned everything. I have deceived the old man, and embarrassed the son with a marriage he detests; which I have brought about this very day, though the father considered the attempt as hopeless; and Pamphilus as the greatest evil that could befal him. O! wise Davus, if you had but been quiet, this mischief would never have happened. But, see, here come Pamphilus himself! I’m a dead man. O! for some precipice that I might dash myself down headlong!
[Retires.
Scene VIII.
Scene VIII.
Davus, Pamphilus.
Pam. Where is that villain who has ruined me?
Davus. (aside.) I’m a lost man!
Pam. But I confess that I am justly punished for my imprudence: for my want of common sense. Ought I to have confided my happiness to the keeping of such a shallow slave? I only pay the penalty of my folly: however, the rascal shall not escape the punishment he so richly deserves.
Davus. (aside.) If I escape this time, I think I never need know fear again.
Pam. And what can I say to my father? Can I, who so lately promised to marry, now refuse? with what face can I venture on such a step as that? I know not what to do!
Davus. (aside.) Nor I, though I am racking my brains to hit upon something. I will tell him that I have thought of an expedient to put off the marriage.
Pam. (seeing Davus.) Oh!
Davus. I am seen!
Pam. Pray, good Sir, what have you to say for yourself? do you see what a fine situation your rare advice has reduced me to?
Davus. But I will soon find an expedient to extricate you from it.
Pam. You will find an expedient!
Davus. Certainly, Sir.
Pam. Like your last, I suppose.
Davus. Better, I hope, Sir.
Pam. What trust can I put in such a rascal[156]? Can you remedy a misfortune, which appears entirely ruinous? Ah! how foolishly I relied on you, who, out of a perfect calm[157], have raised this storm, and wrecked me on the rock of this accursed marriage! Did I not forewarn you, that it would end thus?
Davus. You did, Sir, I confess.
Pam. What do you deserve[158]?
Davus. Death. But allow me a short time to recover myself, and I will soon consider what is to be done?
Pam. Alas! I have not time to punish you as you deserve: the present moment demands my attention to my own wretched affairs; and will not suffer me to revenge myself on you.
END OF THE THIRD ACT.
ACT IV.
Scene I.
Scene I.
Charinus. (alone.)
[159]Is this credible, or to be mentioned as a truth, that any man can be so innately worthless, as to rejoice at the miseries and misfortunes of others, and even turn them to his own advantage? Ah! is it possible that such baseness can exist? Those men have characters of the very worst description, who make a scruple to deny a favour; and are ashamed[160], or unwilling to give a downright refusal at first; but who, when the time arrives for the performance of their promises, necessarily expose themselves in their true colours; and, though they may hesitate, yet, circumstances compel them to give an absolute denial: and they will afterwards insult you with the most impertinent speeches, as, Who are you? What are you to me? Why should I resign my mistress to you? Every man for himself, Sir, is my maxim! And, if you upbraid them with their want of honour, they are not at all ashamed. Thus, when they ought to blush for their perfidy, they are shameless! And, in the former case, when there was no cause for it, they are shamefaced and timorous! But what shall I do? Shall I go and expostulate with him on his treachery? I will! and overwhelm him with reproaches: if any one tell me that no advantage will result from it: I answer this, that I shall poison[161] his joy: and even that will yield me some satisfaction.
Scene II.
Scene II.
Charinus, Pamphilus, Davus.
Pam. Oh! Charinus, unless the gods assist us, my imprudence has undone both you and myself!
Char. What! imprudence! So you found an excuse at last. You have broken your promise, Sir.
Pam. How! at last?
Char. Do you think that any thing you can say will impose upon me a second time?
Pam. What do you mean, Sir?
Char. As soon as I had told you of my love for Philumena, she pleased you forsooth! Alas! fool that I was! I judged of your heart by my own. I believed you to be sincere, and you deceived me.
Pam. You deceive yourself.
Char. Did you think that your happiness would not be complete, unless you could delude an unfortunate lover by nourishing his vain hopes? Well, take her[162].
Pam. I take her! Alas, you know not half the miseries that oppress me; nor how my rascal Davus has embarrassed me with his pernicious advice.
Char. No wonder! I suppose he follows the fine example you set him.
Pam. You would not talk thus if you knew me, or my love.
Char. (ironically.) Oh! I know every thing: you have been in high dispute with your father; and he is now most prodigiously angry with you: and has been striving, in vain, all this day, to prevail upon you to wed Philumena.
Pam. To prove how little you know of my misfortunes, learn, that no marriage was expected to take place: neither did my father think of constraining my inclinations.
Char. O no! ’tis your inclinations that constrain you.
Pam. Hear me: you do not yet understand——
Char. I understand but too well that you are about to wed Philumena.
Pam. Why do you vex me thus[163]? hear me, I say: he never ceased urging me to tell my father that I was ready to marry: he prayed, he entreated, until, at length, I was induced to comply.
Char. Who did this?
Pam. Davus.
Char. Davus?
Pam. Davus has marred all.
Char. Why?
Pam. I know not, unless the gods, in their anger, decreed that I should follow his pernicious counsel.
Char. Is this so, Davus?
Davus. It is indeed but too true.
Char. What can you say for yourself, you rascal? May the gods punish you as you deserve! Answer me, Slave, I say, if his greatest enemies had been desirous of entangling him in this marriage, what worse advice could they possibly have given him?
Davus. I have been deceived, but am not disheartened.
Char. Indeed!
Davus. Our last plan was unsuccessful, but we’ll try another: unless you think that because the first prospered so indifferently, the evil cannot be remedied?
Pam. Oh, far otherwise! for I have no doubt, that if that wise head of yours goes to work, instead of the one wife you have provided me with already, you’ll find me two.
Davus. Pamphilus, I am your slave; and, as such, it is my duty to exert myself to the utmost to serve you, to labour for you night and day, and even to expose my life to peril, to do you service; but, ’tis your part, if any thing should happen cross, to pardon me: my endeavours have been unsuccessful ’tis true; but, indeed, I did my best; if you can do better, dismiss me.
Pam. Certainly; but first place me in the situation in which you found me.
Davus. I will.
Pam. But it must be done directly.
Davus. Hist! Glycera’s door opens[164].
Pam. What can that signify to you?
Davus. I’m studying for an expedient.
Pam. How, at last!
Davus. And have no doubt but I shall soon find one.
Scene III.
Scene III.
Pamphilus, Charinus, Davus, Mysis.
Mysis. (speaking to Glycera within.) I will directly, Madam; wherever he may be, I’ll take care to find your dear [165]Pamphilus, and bring him to you: only, my love, let me beg of you not to make yourself so wretched.
Pam. Mysis!
Mysis. Who is that? Ah! Pamphilus! you come most opportunely.
Pam. What’s the matter?
Mysis. My mistress conjures you by the love you bear her, to come to her instantly: she says, she shall be miserable till she sees you.
Pam. Heavens! I’m quite distracted: (to Davus.) Villain! behold the misery to which we are reduced: this is your work! she has heard of the intended marriage, and therefore sends for me.
Char. All would have been quiet, if that fellow had but been quiet.
Davus. (to Charinus.) Well done! if he does not rave enough of himself, do try to make him worse.
Mysis. It is the rumour of your approaching marriage with Philumena that makes her so miserable.
Pam. Mysis, I solemnly swear to you by all the gods, that I never will forsake her; no, though my love for her should make all mankind my foes, I never, never will forsake her. I wooed, and made her mine; our souls accord; and I will hold no communion with those who wish to separate us: death alone shall part us.
Mysis. Your words revive me, Pamphilus.
Pam. [166]The oracles of Apollo are not more true. I wish, that, if it be possible, my father should not think that I throw any impediments in the way of the marriage: if not, I will do what will be easily done, tell him frankly that I cannot marry Chremes’s daughter. Charinus, what do you think of me?
Char. That you are as wretched as I am.
Davus. I am studying for an expedient.
Char. (to Pamphilus.) But you are constant and courageous[167].
Pam. (to Davus.) I know what you would attempt[168].
Davus. I will both attempt, and accomplish it, rest assured, Sir.
Pam. But it must be done immediately.
Davus. It shall be done immediately.
Char. What is your plan?
Davus. (to Charinus.) Do not deceive yourself, Sir; ’tis not for you, but for my master that I am scheming.
Char. Enough.
Pam. What are you going to do? tell me[169].
Davus. I am afraid that this day will scarcely afford me sufficient time for action: I am sure I have none to waste in talking: let me beg you both to withdraw from this place: you hinder me from putting my designs into execution.
Pam. I will go to my Glycera.
[Exit.
Scene IV.
Scene IV.
Davus, Charinus, Mysis.
Davus. (to Charinus.) And you, Sir, where are you going?
Char. Shall I tell you the truth?
Davus. Oh! by all means. Now for a long story. (aside.)
Char. What will become of me?
Davus. Heyday! modest enough this, i’faith! is it not sufficient that I give you a respite by putting off the marriage?
Char. Yet, Davus——
Davus. What now?
Char. Could I but wed her!
Davus. Absurd.
Char. If you can assist me, let me see you soon.
Davus. Why should I come, I can do nothing?
Char. Yet, if you should be able——
Davus. Well, then I will come.
Char. If you want me, I shall be at home.
[Exit.
Scene V.
Scene V.
Davus, Mysis.
Davus. Mysis, do you wait here for me a moment, till I come out again?
Mysis. Why?
Davus. It must be so.
Mysis. Make haste then.
Davus. I’ll return directly, I tell you.
[Goes into the house.
Scene VI.
Scene VI.
Mysis (alone.)
Is there no reliance to be placed in any thing in this world? Heaven preserve me, I thought Pamphilus my mistress’s chief blessing: a friend, a lover, a husband, always ready to cherish and protect her: but, alas! what misery does she now endure on his account: hitherto he has been to her a source of more evil than good[170]. But here comes Davus! bless me, man, what are you about? where are you going to carry the child?
Scene VII.
Scene VII.
Mysis, Davus, (with Glycera’s child.)
Davus. Now, Mysis, I want you to assist me in this affair with all your ready wit, artifice, and dexterity.
Mysis. What are you going to do?
Davus. Take the child from me directly, and lay him down at our door[171].
Mysis. Mercy on me! what, upon the bare ground?
Davus. You may take some of the herbs from that altar, and strew them under him[172].
Mysis. But why don’t you lay him there yourself?
Davus. That if my master should require me to swear that I did not do it; I may take the oath with a safe conscience[173].
Mysis. I understand you. But tell me, Davus, how long has your conscience been so scrupulously nice?
Davus. Make haste, that I may tell you further what I mean to do. Oh, Jupiter!
Mysis. What?
Davus. (to himself.) The father of the bride is coming this way: I abandon my first design.
Mysis. I don’t understand this[174].
Davus. I will pretend to come from the right: do you take care to second what I say, as you see occasion.
[he retires
Mysis. I can’t make out a syllable of all this: but, if I can be of any use, (which you know better than I,) I will stay; lest, otherwise, I should be any hinderance to your plans.
Scene VIII.
Scene VIII.
Chremes, Mysis, Davus.
Chremes. (to himself.) Well, having prepared every thing for the marriage of my daughter, I am returned to inform them that they may now send for her. But what do I see? by Hercules, ’tis a child! Woman, did you lay it there?
Mysis. Where can Davus be?
Chremes. Why don’t you answer me?
Mysis. (aside.) Ah! he is not here. Mercy on me, the fellow has left me here, and gone away.
Davus. (speaking loud, and pretending not to see Chremes.) Heavens! what a crowd there is in the Forum! what a wrangling! provisions too are very dear. (Aside.) What else to say I know not.
Mysis. (aside to Davus.) In Heaven’s name, how could you think of leaving me here alone?
Davus. (aloud.) Ha! what plot is this? Mysis, whose child is this? who brought it here?
Mysis. (aside to Davus.) Are you mad to ask me such a question?
Davus. Whom should I ask? I can see no one else here[175].
Chremes. (aside.) I wonder whose child it is!
Davus. Will you answer me or not?
Mysis. Ah!
Davus. (aside to Mysis.) Move to the right.
Mysis. Are you mad? was it not yourself?
Davus. (aside to Mysis.) Take care not to say a single syllable, except exact answers to the questions I put to you.
Mysis. Do you threaten me?
Davus. Whose child is it? (Aside to Mysis.) Speak.
Mysis. From our house.
Davus. Ha! ha! this woman’s impudence is wonderful!
Chremes. (aside.) This girl belongs to the Andrian, I am pretty sure.
Davus. Do we seem so fit to be imposed upon?
Chremes. (aside.) I came just in time.
Davus. (quite loud.) Make haste, and take the brat from our door. (Aside to Mysis.) Don’t stir a step.
Mysis. The deuce [176]take you, fellow, for terrifying me in this manner.
Davus. Do you hear me or not?
Mysis. What do you want?
Davus. What! must I tell you again! whose child have you brought here? Answer me.
Mysis. You know well enough whose child it is.
Davus. Never mind what I know: tell me what I ask.
Mysis. It belongs to your family.
Davus. To our family! but to which of us?
Mysis. To Pamphilus.
Davus. Hey! what? to Pamphilus? (very loud.)
Mysis. Yes, can you deny it?
Chremes. (aside.) I acted wisely in avoiding the match[177].
Davus. What a disgraceful trick! it ought to be publicly exposed.
Mysis. What are you making so much noise about?
Davus. What did I see brought to your house yesterday?
Mysis. O! impudent fellow!
Davus. ’Tis true: I saw old Canthara, with something under her cloak[178].
Mysis. Thank Heaven, that there were some free women present when my mistress was delivered[179ᴬ].
Davus. She knows little of the man she wants to practise these tricks upon: do you think that if Chremes saw this child before our door, he would refuse us his daughter on that account? I say he would give her more willingly.
Chremes. (aside.) Not he, indeed.
Davus. And, to be short with you, that you may understand me at once, if you don’t take away the child instantly, I’ll roll him into the middle of the street, and you, Madam, into the kennel.
Mysis. [179ᴮ]By Pollux, fellow, you are drunk.
Davus. One falsehood brings on another: [180]I hear it whispered about, that she is a citizen of Athens.
Chremes. (aside.) How!
Davus. And that he will be compelled to marry her[181].
Mysis. What then, pray, is she not a citizen?
Chremes. (aside.) By Jupiter, I have narrowly escaped making myself a common laughing-stock to all the town.
Davus. (turning round suddenly.) Who speaks there? Oh Chremes! you are come just in time: listen——
Chremes. I have heard every thing.
Davus. What, Sir, heard all, did you say?
Chremes. I tell you, I heard all from the beginning.
Davus. (half aloud.) He has heard all: what an [182]accident!—this impudent wench ought to be taken hence and punished[183]: (to Mysis.) This is Chremes himself: think not that you can impose upon Davus.
Mysis. Alas! dear Sir, indeed I have said nothing but the truth.
Chremes. I know every thing. Is Simo at home?
Davus. Yes, Sir.
[Exit Chremes.
Scene IX.
Scene IX.
Mysis, Davus, (overjoyed, offers to take her hand.)
Mysis. Don’t touch me, you villain: if I don’t tell my mistress all this, may I be—
Davus. Hey-day! you silly wench: You don’t know what we have just done.
Mysis. How should I?
Davus. [184]That was the bride’s father: I wished him to know all this; and there was no other way to acquaint him with it.
Mysis. You should have given me notice then.
Davus. [185]Do you think a thing of this sort can be done as well by premeditating and studying, as by acting according to the natural impulse of the moment.
Scene X.
Scene X.
Crito[186], Mysis, Davus.
Crito. (to himself.) I am told, that this is the street in which Chrysis dwelt; who chose to amass wealth here, in a manner not the most unexceptionable, rather than live in honest poverty in her own [187]country. That wealth, however, now devolves to me[188]. But I see some persons of whom I can inquire. God save you.
Mysis. [189]Bless me! whom do I see? is not this Crito the kinsman of Chrysis? It is.
Crito. Oh, Mysis! God save you.
Mysis. God save you, Crito.
Crito. Alas! [190]poor Chrysis is then gone.
Mysis. She is indeed: and the loss of her has almost ruined us.
Crito. What! you? how so? has any other misfortune happened to you? how do you live now, Mysis?
Mysis. Oh! we live as we can, as the saying goes: since we cannot live as we would.
Crito. Has Glycera discovered her parents here?
Mysis. Would to Heaven she had.
Crito. Not yet! In an evil hour then came I here: for, in truth, if I had known that, I would not have set a foot in this city. Glycera was always treated as, and called the sister of, Chrysis; and has in possession what property she left: and the example of others will teach me what ease, redress, and profit, I have to expect from [191]a suit at law: besides, I suppose, by this time, she has some lover to espouse her cause; for, she was no longer in her childhood, when she left the isle of Andros. I should be railed at as a beggar, and a pitiful legacy-hunter. Besides, I never could be cruel enough to reduce her to poverty.
Mysis. O excellent Crito! I see you are still the same worthy soul you used to be.
Crito. Well, since I am come, let me see the poor girl.
Mysis. By all means.
Davus. I will go with them: as I don’t wish to meet with our old gentleman just at this time.
END OF THE FOURTH ACT.