"ASS-ASS-INATION."
"Ass-ass-ination," a sort of burlesque on Hamlet, was another of Hook's extravaganzas, broad enough "for the meanest capacity," but amusing withal, abounding in point and pun, as well as local hits, and quite worthy the attention of any country manager, whether amateur or professional, who may happen to be at a loss for Christmas novelties. Take, by way of sample, the opening scene:—
Enter Princess, with a light.
Princess. 'Tis midnight! Suspicion's gone to sleep. Credulity has warmed the bed, and Dulness tucked him up. My father is not dead; I've hoaxed the public; I've shut my regal daddy in the coal-hole, and now am Regent. The dirty work is done, and I'll to bed! to bed! to bed!
[Exit on tiptoe, P. S.
Re-enter, O. P. and P. S., Amatavelli and Mumptifoni,
each peeping in.
Ama. Have you been listening?
Mum. I have.
Ama. How like a courtier!—'tis well. Falalaria, our Princess Regent, loves——
Mum. (With a considerable degree of self-complacency.) I think she does!
Ama. Not you—another.
Mum. Then, by my soul, he dies!
Ama. Nay! by my soul, he lives! 'Tis Blubbero, the mighty King of Finland.
Mum. From Finland!—pshaw! A king of dolphins and Prince of Whales.