IMMORALITY.
It is not enough to prove a Man is a Moralist, only because he is noted for a Regular Life; that may be one good instance indeed; but it can never arrive to a proof of the whole, for his living Soberly, and by Rule, may as well be caus'd by the defect of his Constitution, as by the effect of his Inclination, but 'tis the Spirit and Will, by the fire of whose other Virtues, this of Morality is kindled and illustrated. Now I will not be so byass'd by other Peoples opinions that know him, to say, That our devout Critick owes him seeming Piety, and good life, to his ill habit of Body; nor will I load him with Abuse, right or wrong, as he has done me, particularly through a whole Chapter, but leave that charitably to natural Conscience, or studied Artifice, which he pleases, and only reflect a little on the temper of his Mind, as I have found it blazing in this last, as well as others of his Books. In the first place, if Stubbornness, which causes wrong opinion of the present Regal Authority and Government, is an Immoral Vice, if he is not tainted, I know not who is; for let any one, who is not blinded with Partiality, but read his Desertion Discuss'd, with the admirable Answer to it, and I am satisfied he cannot help joining with me in this opinion, That what he would insinuate to be the effect of Right in others, and of Conscience in himself, is nothing but the effect of Error in one, and Obstinacy and Stubborn Will in t'other, a humour resolv'd to defend and carry on a hot Argument, tho it has been never so plain and reasonably confuted: the Positions and Answers on this subject I shall not insert here, but leave the Reader, whose curiosity obliges him, to the Papers themselves, only I wish the Absolver had made Newgate the last Scene of that part of his Immorality, and by an humble acknowledgment to his Patron that redeemed him, (I hope the word will bear in this place) have spar'd his Office of Absolution in another Scene, and consequently given no occasion to believe that his disobedient humour, and turbulent nature, still proceeds daily, to cultivate his Party with the same Principles as far as he can.
Another spice of Immorality I believe I can make appear by his Pride, and tho' in other places it is to be found, yet is most fairly instanc'd in his Book of Essays, where, tho' we find one Chapter wholly upon that Vice, which, to shew his Justice, begins with a Compliment upon the same Juvenal, now he has use for him whom he call'd Pimp before, yet it has not bulk enough to Skreen from us his haughtiness in another, which he calls the Office of a Chaplain, for there you shall find he has collected the Spirit of them all, and blended them into one Character; I mean the ill Spirits of the ill Chaplains, those that are good I honour. Here you may find his Likeness in Don Quixot, Roger in the Scornful Lady, Bull in the Relapse, Say-grace, Cuff-cushion, and others, all learning their Lessons of their stubborn Superior our Reformer, and all tending to governing, brow-beating, snubbing, commanding Families, and the like, but not one word of humility tack'd to't, for fear of spoiling the Character; there you may find 24 pages, one after another, all written to prove most gloriously, that 'tis impossible for a Chaplain to be a Servant; that tho' you find a poor fellow in a tatter'd Excommunicated Gown with one sleeve, Shoes without heels, miserable Antichristian breeches, with some two dozen of creepers brooding in the seams; and tho' you take him charitably to your House, feed, clothe, and give him wages, yet he belongs only to God, and not you, and you must not think him your Domestick, but your Superior. Why, what a Scheme is here laid for Vanity and Folly, add how much more shining and beautiful does gratitude and humility appear in such a Depender, than such a bloated opinion as this? Would any honest Gentleman, that has his sences, shew his Indulgence and Generosity to Wit or Learning, on such terms as these? And does not this Chapter shew more the Spirit of Pride in our Absolver, relating to his own humour, than the veneration he has for the Clergy, or the Justice he would seem to do them in it? I dare affirm, most of them are against this Opinion, at least I'm sure all the modest part are, who cannot but own themselves subservient to their Patrons that maintain them, tho' at the same time they are Ministers of Gods holy Words and Sacraments. Yet he buffly goes on, Office of a Chaplain, p. 178.
Ib. p. 185. He is Gods Minister, not Mans Servant. And a little way further, he clenches this admirable Notion through and through; therefore, says he, for a Patron to acconnt such a Consecrated Person, as if he belong'd to him as a Servant, is in effect to challenge Divine Honours, and set himself up for a God. Here's Ambition, here's Perfection, here's old Bonner for ye. Now by his Hollidame, for I can't forbear that Oath now, what can a squeamish Critick, that would make Remarks upon the Remarker call this? But stay, he's at it again, Collier, p. 113. Dolopion, says he, was Priest to Scamander, and regarded like the God he belong'd to. Pray mind him, the Priest was worshipp'd equal with the God—oh rare Moralist—if he were, 'twas an Ægyptian Worship, where only Calves and Apes, and Carrots and Onions, were Gods. But pray let us see a little, has not this Divine quotation a tang of Blasphemy in't? Oh fie, no; what, the Moralist! Reformer of Vices! Speak Blasphemy! Impossible! he can't sure! Yes, yes, he may, when he thinks no body can find him out: and faith, to my sence now, this smells as rank of Pandemonium, of fire and brimstone, to the full, if not worse, than Mr. Dryden's Verse, Absalom and Achit.
Collier p. 184. Whether inspir'd with a Diviner Lust his father got him, &c. which is spoken only in the figurative Person of David; yet he says 'tis downright defiance of the Living God, and the very Essence and Spirit of Blasphemy. And here now his Stomach wambled more terribly than before; so that if his Friend were by, he must of necessity hold the Bason. Oh me! he reaches and reaches, and first up comes—egh—I question whether—egh—the torments and despair of the Damn'd—egh—dare venture at such flights as these. And now the Head being held by the same hand, at two reaches more it comes all up, mix'd with a Tincture of old Bonner again—egh—I can't forbear saying, that the next bad thing to writing these Impieties—egh—is to suffer them. And now the Fit's over, leaving us to imagine what rare Church Discipline we should have, if this Gentleman, and his Cat with nine Tails, were in Power; I think a Couplet or two here, by way of Advice to him, is not improper.
Weesils, p. 11. Your Tribe should all be in Opinion steady,
Not turn or wind for Power or for Place,
Nor covet Wealth but in Spiritual Grace.
The Gifts of Mammon you should ne'r implore,
Nor wish for Gold, unless to give the Poor;
It makes your Art contemptible appear,
Less follow'd too, and look'd into more near;
For if all those that preach up Paradise,
Will have their shares of every human Vice,
They shall Cant long enough e're I believe,
Or pin my Soul's Salvation on their sleeve.
Here now, ten to one, but I shall make our Reformer fall into another fit, by pretending to Counsel him, or take his Office of Ordinary upon my self; for in page 138, he will not give up that leave, Collier, p. 138. What, is the Pulpit under the Discipline of the Stage? And are those fit to correct the Church, that are not fit to come into it? Ah! Doctor, rub your eyes a little, and see what the Vindicator of the Stage says, quoting Divine Herbert:
A Verse may find him who a Sermon flies,
And turn delight into a Sacrifice.
Besides I do assure you, spite of your Ghostly Authority, and Uncharitable Position, that we are not fit, we will come in, and not only imbibe the Mystery of Divinity from the Pulpit, but unriddle the Mystery of Iniquity, if we can find any there. Ben Johnson found out Ananias and Rabby Buisy; Fletcher, Hypocritical Roger; Shakespear, Sir John of Wrotham; Congreve, Say-grace; Vanbrook, Bull; Shadwell, Smirk; and if Durfey can find out a proud, stubborn, immoral The Chaplains Name in Don Quixot. Bernard, one, that when he was a Country Curate, would not let the Children be brought to Church to be Christned for some odd Jesuitical Reasons best known to himself, he shall presume to draw his Picture, tho the Absolver drop another Chapter of Abuse upon him for so doing.
We find, for many Ages past, Poets have enjoy'd this Priviledge; our Prince of Poets, Chaucer, had so much to do in this kind, that we find him weary himself, and loth to weary others with.
Chaucer[ *]
Of Freers I have told before,
In a making of a Crede,
And yet I cold tell worse, or more,
But Men would werien it to read.
This I think is pithy, but here again I think his Counsel to them is much better.
Fly fro the Prease and dwell with soothfastness,
Suffice unto thy good, tho it be small,
For horde hath, and climbing tickleness,
Prease hath Envy, and wele is blent ore all;
Savour no more then thee behove shall,
Rede wele thy self that other folk canst rede,
And trouth thee shall deliver it is no drede.
Now if he be Moral enough to take old Chaucer's Advice I shall be glad; and so much for that subject. There is nothing now remains, before I come to vindicate Don Quixot, but a large Remark of his, upon the little or no swearing in Plays, which commonly is only a kind of an Interjection, as gad, I cod, oonz, &c. which I don't defend neither, and if any others have carelesly past the Press I'm sorry for't, for I hate them as much as he, yet because the Doctor has quoted the Statute Law against it and Players, to slander on one side, tho to reform on t'other, I will in return quote another piece of Law relating to Oaths, extreamly for his advantage, for there is only this quibbling difference between us, 'Tis a fault in us in swearing when we should not, and in him for not swearing when he should; but that now he may have occasion to say my Civilities are particular to him, I will make him do't.
I J.C. do sincerely promise and swear, that I will be faithful, and bear true Allegiance to His Majesty King William: And I do swear that I do, from my heart, abhor, detest and abjure, as Impious and Heretical, that damnable Doctrine and Position, that Princes excommunicated, or depriv'd by the Pope, or any Authority of the See of Rome, may be Depos'd or Murther'd by their Subjects, or any other whatsoever.
And I do declare that no Foreign Prince, Person, Prelate, State or Potentate, hath, or aught to have, any Jurisdiction, Power, Superiority, Preeminence or Authority, Ecclesiastical or Spiritual, within this Realm. So help me God.
This now, with a sincerity proper, and coming to Church to hear our Divine Service, with the Prayer for the King in't, would give one a little satisfaction as to the Doctors present opinion, for what he has been, if you will but examine and scan it by his Book, tho it be a Reforming Book, is I am sure very disputable; in one Page of it he seems very zealous for the Protestant Reformation, and says, Collier, p. 108. being very much piqu'd at Sir John Brute's putting on a Clergy-man's Habit in the Provok'd Wife, that the Church of England, he means the Men in her, is the only communion in the world, that will endure such insolencies as these; and this, tho it be somewhat Bonnerish again, and Switcher-like, yet however seems to leer of our side; but then presently in another place he's as zealous for the Roman Sect, and Jesuitically condemns a little wholesom Satyr in the Character of a pamper'd hypocritical covetous Spanish Fryer, Collier, p. 98. for incivility in making him a Pimp to Lorenzo, and is very angry at the Author for calling this virtuous person a parcel of holy Guts and Garbidge, and telling him that he has room in his Belly for his Church-steeple; and here his Lash is up again for abusing them—oh—if Doctor Absolution were Inquisitor general, and a Satyrist against Priests came under his hand, mercy upon us, how that poor Rascal would be flaug'd, for I find 'tis only the person of the Priest that he would have reverenc'd, let his opinion be what it will; nay, tho he were a Priest of Baal, as may be prov'd a little further, for here his Zeal shews itself not only for Christians, but the very Turks too; Collier, p. 61. and cavils again with Jacinta, in the Mock Astrologer, for jesting with Alla, and honest Mahomet, for he was a Brother Priest too: But stay, what's worst of all, have but patience to walk to another Page, and here you will find him just sinking into a downright doze and despondency, whither he had best set up for any Religion at all, or at least for one very indifferent.
Collier, p. 28. Our Poets, I suppose, would call this Preaching, and think it a dull business; however, I can't forbear saying, an honest Heathen is none of the worst men, a very indifferent Religion well believ'd, will go a great way—Will it so, pray friends de'e not think our hot reforming Gentleman is very Luke-warm here, or not a little craz'd when he writ this, or, as the vulgar have it, was not his mighty Wit run a Wool-gathering; for if he be for Protestantism, and Popery, and then whip—amongst the Bens of the Arabians for Alla and Mahomet, and at last for little or no Religion at all, I'm afraid I shall never bring my self to be reform'd by him. And so at him agen Weesil.
Weesils. For who with Reason, if this be your way,
Will ever value what you Preach or Pray.
But now I think I have said enough for the Plays, whose Authors are much better able to speak for themselves; and therefore will fall off to vindicate my self a little, and my Acquaintance Don Quixot; in which I will endeavour to prove another Immoral Vice in our Stage-Reformer, which is