AFTER SOUTHEY

(By Northey-Southey-Eastey-Westey)

"YOU are cold, Father William," the young man cried,

"You shake and you shiver, I say;

You've a cold, Father William, your nose it is red,

Now tell me the reason, I pray."

"In the days of my youth," Father William replied—

(He was a dissembling old man)

"I put lumps of ice in my grandpapa's boots,

And snowballed my Aunt Mary Ann."

"Go along, Father William," the young man cried,

"You are trying it on, sir, to-day;

What makes your teeth chatter like bone castanets?

Come tell me the reason, I pray."

"In the days of my youth," Father William replied,

"I went to the North Pole with Parry;

And now, my sweet boy, the Arc-tic doloreaux

Plays with this old man the Old Harry."

"Get out! Father William," the young man cried.

"Come, you shouldn't go on in this way;

You are funny, but still you've a frightful bad cold—

Now tell me the reason, I pray."

"I am cold, then, dear youth," Father William replied;

"I've a cold, my impertinent son,

Because for some weeks my coals have been bought

At forty-eight shillings a ton!"