THE NAMES OF THE PLAYERS.
Five may easily play this Interlude.
}
{ The Prologue,
{ Tom Tosspot, For one.
{ Hankin Hangman,
{ Tom Collier.
}
{ Hance,
{ Virtuous Life, For one.
{ God's Promise,
{ Cuthbert Cutpurse.
}
{ Lucifer,
{ Ralph Roister, For one.
{ Good Fame,
{ Severity.
}
{ Philip Fleming,
{ Pierce Pickpurse, For another.
{ Honour.
Nichol Newfangle, the Vice.
THE PROLOGUE.
Cicero in his book De Amicitia, these words doth express,
Saying nothing is more desirous than like is unto like;
Whose words are most true and of a certainty doubtless:
For the virtuous do not the virtuous' company mislike.
But the vicious do the virtuous' company eschew:
And like will unto like, this is most true.
It is not my meaning your ears for to weary,
With hearkening what is the 'ffect of our matter:
But our pretence[327] is to move you to be merry,
Merrily to speak, meaning no man to flatter.
The name of this matter, as I said whilere,
Is, Like will to Like, quoth the Devil to the Collier.
Sith pithy proverbs in our English tongue doth abound,
Our author thought good such a one for to choose,
As may show good example, and mirth may eke be found,
But no lascivious toys he purposeth for to use.
Herein, as it were in a glass, see you may
The advancement of virtue, of vice the decay:
To what ruin ruffians and roisters are brought;
You may here see of them the final end:
Begging is the best, though that end be nought;
But hanging is worse, if they do not amend.
The virtuous life is brought to honour and dignity:
And at the last to everlasting eternity.
And because divers men of divers minds be,
Some do matters of mirth and pastime require:
Other some are delighted with matters of gravity,
To please all men is our author's chief desire.
Wherefore mirth with measure to sadness[328] is annexed:
Desiring that none here at our matter will be perplexed.
Thus, as I said, I will be short and brief,
Because from this dump you shall relieved be:
And the Devil with the collier, the thief that seeks the thief,
Shall soon make you merry, so shortly you shall see;
And sith mirth for sadness is a sauce most sweet,
Take mirth then with measure, that best sauceth it.
LIKE WILL TO LIKE.
[Here entereth Nichol Newfangle the Vice, laughing, and hath a knave of clubs in his hand which, as soon as he speaketh, he offereth unto one of the men or boys standing by.
New. Ha, ha, ha, ha! now like unto like: it will be none other,
Stoop, gentle knave, and take up your brother.
Why, is it so? and is it even so indeed?
Why then may I say God send us good speed!
And is every one here so greatly unkind,
That I am no sooner out of sight, but quite out of mind?
Marry, this will make a man even weep for woe,
That on such a sudden no man will let me know,
Sith men be so dangerous[329] now at this day:
Yet are women kind worms, I dare well say.
How say you, woman? you that stand in the angle,
Were you never acquainted with Nichol Newfangle?
Then I see Nichol Newfangle is quite forgot,
Yet you will know me anon, I dare jeopard a groat.
Nichol Newfangle is my name, do you not me know?
My whole education to you I shall show.
For first, before I was born, I remember very well,
That my grandsire and I made a journey into hell;
Where I was bound prentice before my nativity
To Lucifer himself, such was my agility.
All kinds of sciences he taught unto me:
That unto the maintenances of pride might best agree.
I learn'd to make gowns with long sleeves and wings:
I learn'd to make ruffs like calves' chitterlings,
Caps, hats, coats, with all kind of apparels,
And especially breeches as big as good barrels.
Shoes, boots, buskins, with many pretty toys:
All kind of garments for men, women, and boys.
Know you me now? I thought that at the last!
All acquaintance from Nichol Newfangle is not pass'd.
Nichol Newfangle was and is, and ever shall be:
And there are but few that are not acquainted with me.
For so soon as my prenticehood was once come out,
I went by and by the whole world about.
[Here the Devil entereth in, but he speaketh not yet.
Sancte benedicite, whom have we here?
Tom Tumbler, or else some dancing bear?
Body of me, it were best go no near:[330]
For ought that I see, it is my godfather Lucifer,
Whose prentice I have been this many a day:
But no more words but mum: you shall hear what he will say.
[This name Lucifer must be written on his back and in his breast.
Lu. Ho! mine own boy, I am glad that thou art here!
New. He speaketh to you, sir, I pray you come near. [Pointing to one standing by.
Lu. Nay, thou art even he, of whom I am well apaid.
New. Then speak aloof,[331] for to come nigh I am afraid.
Lu. Why so, my boy? as though thou diddest never see me.
New. Yes, godfather, but I am afraid it is now, as ofttimes it is with thee;
For if my dame and thou hast been tumbling by the ears,
As oftentimes you do, like a couple of great bears,
Thou carest not whom thou killest in thy raging mind.
Dost thou not remember, since thou didst bruise me behind?
This hole in thy fury didst thou disclose,
That now may a tent be put in, so big as thy nose.
This was, when my dame called thee bottle-nosed knave,
But I am like to carry the mark to my grave.
Lu. O my good boy, be not afraid,
For no such thing hath happened, as thou hast said.
But come to me, my boy, and bless thee I will,
And see that my precepts thou do fulfil.
New. Well, godfather, if you will say ought to me in this case,
Speak, for in faith I mean not to kneel to that ill face.
If our Lady of Walsingham had no fairer nose and visage,
By the mass, they were fools that would go to her on pilgrimage.
Lu. Well, boy, it shall not greatly skill,
Whether thou stand, or whether thou kneel:
Thou knowest what sciences I have thee taught,
Which are able to bring the world to naught.
For thou knowest that through pride from heaven I was cast,
Even unto hell, wherefore see thou make haste.
Such pride through new fashions in men's hearts to show
That those, that use it, may have the like overthrow.
From virtue procure men to set their minds aside,
And wholly employ it to all sin and pride.
Let thy new-fangled fashions bear such a sway,
That a rascal [may] be so proud as he that best may.
New. Tush, tush, that is already brought to pass,
For a very skipjack[332] is prouder, I swear by the mass,
And seeketh to go more gayer and more brave,
Than doth a lord, though himself be a knave.
Lu. I can thee thank,[333] that so well thou hast play'd the part;
Such as do so, shall soon feel the smart.
Sith thou hast thus done, there remaineth behind,
That thou in another thing show thy right kind.[334]
New. Then, good godfather, let me hear thy mind.
Lu. Thou knowest I am both proud and arrogant,
And with the proud I will ever be conversant;
I cannot abide to see men, that are vicious,
Accompany themselves with such as be virtuous
Wherefore my mind is, sith thou thy part canst play,
That thou adjoin like to like alway.
New. I never loved that well, I swear by this day.
Lu. What, my boy?
New. Your mind is, sith I fast three meals every Good Friday,
That I eat nothing but onions and leeks alway.
Lu. Nay, my mind is, sith thou thy part canst play,
That thou adjoin like to like alway.
New. Tush, tush, godfather Devil, for that have thou no care:
Thou knowest that like will to like, quoth the Devil to the Collier.
And thou shalt see, that such match I shall make anon,
That thou shalt say I am thy good-good sweet-sweet godson.
Lu. I will give thee thanks, when thou hast so done.
Here entereth in the Collier.
New. Well, godfather, no mo words but mum!
For yonder comes the Collier, as seemeth me.
By the mass, he will make a good mate for thee. [The Devil walketh aside.
What, old acquaintance, small remembrance?
Welcome to town with a very vengeance!
Now welcome, Tom Collier, give me thy hand:
As very a knave as any in England.
Coll. By mass, god-a-marsy, my vreend Nichol!
New. By God, and welcome, gentle Tom Lick-hole!
Coll. Cham glad to zee thee merry, my vreend Nichol.
And how dost nowadays, good Nichol?
New. And nothing else but even plain Nichol?
Coll. I pray thee, tell me how dost, good vreend Lick-hole?
New. It is turn'd from Nichol to Lick-hole with Tom Collier.
I say no more, Tom, but hold thy nose there.
Coll. Nay, hold thy tongue, Nichol, till my nose doth come,
So thou shalt take part, and I shall take some.
New. Well, Tom Collier, let these things pass away;
Tell me what market thou hast made of thy coal to-day?
Coll. To every bushel cha zold but three peck:
Lo, here be the empty zacks on my neck.
Cha beguil'd the whoresons, that of me ha' bought;
But to beguile me was their whole thought.
New. But hast thou no conscience in beguiling thy neighbour?
Coll. No, marry, so ich may gain vor my labour,
It is a common trade nowadays, this is plain,
To cut one another's throat for lucre and gain.
A small vau't[335] as the world is now brought to pass.
New. Thou art a good fellow, I swear by the mass:
As fit a companion for the devil as may be.
Lo, godfather Devil, this fellow will match with thee. [He taketh him by the hand.
Lu. And good Tom Collier thou art welcome to me.
Coll. God amarsy, good Devil, cham glad of thy company.
Lu. Like will to like, I see very well.
New. Godfather, wilt thou dance a little, before thee go home to hell?
Lu. I am content, so that Tom Collier do agree.
Coll. I will never refuse (Devil) to dance with thee.
New. Then, godfather, name what the dance shall be.
Lu. Tom Collier of Croydon hath sold his coal.
New. Why then have at it, by my father's soul!
[Nichol Newfangle must have a gittern or some other instrument (if it may be); but if he have not, they must dance about the place all three, and sing this song that followeth, which must be done also, although they have an instrument.
The Song.
Tom Collier of Croydon hath sold his coals,
And made his market to-day;
And now he danceth with the Devil,
For like will to like alway.
Wherefore let us rejoice and sing,
Let us be merry and glad;
Sith that the Collier and the Devil
This match and dance hath made.
Now of this dance we make an end
With mirth and eke with joy:
The Collier and the Devil will be
Much like to like alway.
New. Ha, ha! marry, this is trim singing,
I had not thought the Devil to be so cunning;
And, by the mass, Tom Collier [is] as good as he:
I see that like with like will ever agree.
Coll. Farewell, Master Devil, vor ich must be gone. [Exit.
Lu. Why, then, farewell my gentle friend Tom.
New. Farewell, Tom Collier, a knave be thy comfort! [Exit Tom Collier.
How say'st thou, godfather? is not this trim sport?
Lu. Thou art mine own boy; my blessing thou shalt have.
New. By my truth, godfather, that blessing I do not crave;
But if you go your way, I will do my diligence
As well in your absence as in your presence.
Lu. But thou shalt salute me, ere I go doubtless,
That in thy doings thou may'st have the better success.
Wherefore kneel down and say after me: [He kneeleth down.
When the devil will have it so, it must needs so be.
New. What shall I say, bottle-nosed godfather, canst thou tell?
Lu. All hail, O noble prince of hell!
New. All my dame's cows' tail fell down in the well.
Lu. I will exalt thee above the clouds.
New. I will salt thee, and hang thee in the shrouds.
Lu. Thou art the enhancer of my renown.
New. Thou art Hance, the hangman of Calais town.
Lu. To thee be honour alone.
New. To thee shall come our hobbling Jone.
Lu. Amen.
New. Amen.
Lu. Now farewell, my boy, farewell heartily,
Is there never a knave here will keep the Devil company?
New. Farewell, godfather, for thou must go alone:
I pray thee come hither again anon. [Exit Lucifer.
Marry, here was a benediction of the Devil's good grace:
Body of me, I was so afraid, I was like to bestench the place!
My buttocks made buttons of the new fashion,
While the whoreson Devil was making his salutation.
But, by mass, I am so glad as ever was madge mare,
That the whoreson Devil is joined with the knave Collier.
As fit a match as ever could be pick'd out,
What sayst thou to it, Jone with the long snout?
[Tom Tosspot cometh in with a feather in his hat.
But who comes yonder puffing, as hot as a black pudding.
I hold twenty pound it is a ruffian, if a goose go a-gooding.
Tom. Gog's heart and his guts, is not this too bad?
Blood, wounds, and nails! it will make a man mad.
New. I warrant you, here is a lusty one, [and] very brave:
I think anon he will swear himself a knave.
Tom. Many a mile have I ridden, and many a mile have I gone:
Yet can I not find for me a fit companion.
Many there be, which my company would frequent,
If to do, as they do, I would be content.
They would have me leave off my pride and my swearing,
My new-fangled fashions, and leave off this wearing.
But rather than I such companions will have,
I will see a thousand of them laid in their grave.
Similis similem sibi quærit, such a one do I seek,
As unto myself in every condition is like.
New. Sir, you are welcome; ye seem to be an honest man,
And I will help you in this matter, as much as I can,
If you will tarry here a while, I tell you in good sooth,
I will find one as fit for you as a pudding for a friar's mouth.
Tom. I thank you, my friend, for your gentle offer to me:
I pray you tell me, what your name may be.
New. Methink, by your apparel you have had me in regard;
I pray you, of Nichol Newfangle have you never heard?
Tom. Nichol Newfangle? why, we are of old acquaintance!
New. By my troth, your name is quite out of my remembrance.
Tom. At your first coming into England, well I wot,
You were very well acquainted with Tom Tosspot.
New. Tom Tosspot? Sancti! amen! how you were out of my mind!
Tom. You know, when you brought into England this new-fangled kind,
That Tosspots and ruffians with you were first acquainted?
New. It is even so, Tom Tosspot, as thou hast said.
Tom. It is an old saying, that mountains and hills never meet;
But I see that men shall meet, though they do not seek;
And, I promise you, more joy in my heart I have found,
Than if I had gain'd an hundred pound.
New. And I am as glad as one had given me a groat,
That I have met now with thee, Tom Tosspot.
And seeing that thou wouldst a mate so fain have,
I will join thee with one, that shall be as very a knave
As thou art thyself, thou may'st believe me:
Thou shalt see anon, what I will do for thee.
For you seek for as very a knave, as you yourself are;
For, like will to like, quoth the Devil to the Collier.
Tom. Indeed, Nichol Newfangle, ye say the verity,
For like will to like: it will none otherwise be.
Enter Ralph Roister.
Behold, Tom Tosspot, even in pudding time[336]
Yonder cometh Ralph Roister, an old friend of mine!
By the mass, for thee he is so fit a mate,
As Tom and Tib for Kit and Kate,
Now welcome, my friend Ralph Roister, by the mass.
Ralph. And I am glad to see thee here in this place.
New. Bid him welcome hark, he can play a knave's part.
Tom. My friend, you are welcome with all my heart.
Ralph. God-a-mercy, good fellow, tell me what thou art.
New. As very a knave as thou, though the best be too bad:
Tom. I am one, which of your company would be very glad.
Ralph. And I will not your company refuse of a certainty,
So that to my conditions your manners do agree.
Tom. It should appear by your sayings, that we are of one mind,
For I know that roisters and tosspots come of one kind;
And as our names be much of one accord, and much like,
So I think our conditions be not far unlike.
Ralph. If your name to me you will declare and show,
You may in this matter my mind the sooner know.
Tom. Few words are best among friends, this is true;
Wherefore I shall briefly show my name unto you.
Tom Tosspot it is, it need not to be painted:
Wherefore I with Ralph Roister must needs be acquainted.
New. In faith, Ralph Roister, if thou wilt be ruled by me,
We will dance hand in hand, like knaves all three:
It is as unpossible for thee his company to deny,
As it is for a camel to creep through a needle's eye.
Therefore bid him welcome, like a knave as thou art.
Ralph. By my troth, Tom Tosspot, you are welcome with all my heart.
Tom. I thank you that my acquaintance ye will take in good part.
And by my troth, I will be your sworn brother:
New. Tush, like will to like: it will be none other.
For the virtuous will always virtue's company seek out:
A gentleman never seeketh the company of a lout;
And roisters and ruffians do sober company eschew:
For like will ever to like, this is most true.
Ralph. Now, friend Tom Tosspot, seeing that we are brethren sworn,
And neither of our companies from other may be forborne,
The whole trade of my life to thee I will declare.
Tom. And to tell you my property also I shall not spare.
New. Then, my masters, if you will awhile abide it,
Ye shall see two such knaves so lively described
That, if hell should be raked even by and by indeed,
Such another couple cannot be found, I swear by my creed.
Go to, sirs, say on your whole minds,
And I shall paint you out in your right kinds.
First, Tom Tosspot, plead thou thy cause and thy name,
And I will sit in this chair, and give sentence on the same.
I will play the judge, and in this matter give judgment:
How say you, my masters, are you not so content?
Ralph. By my troth, for my part, thereto I do agree.
Tom. I were to blame, if any fault should be in me.
New. Then that I be in office, neither of you do grudge?
Both. No, indeed.
New. Where learn'd you to stand capp'd before a judge?
You souterly[337] knaves, show you all your manners at once?
Ralph. Why, Nichol, all we are content.
New. And am I plain Nichol? and yet it is in my arbitrement
To judge which of you two is the verier knave.
I am Master Nichol Newfangle, both gay and brave;
For, seeing you make me your judge, I trow,
I shall teach you both your liripup[338] to know. [He fighteth.
Tom. Stay yourself, sir, I pray you heartily.
Ralph. I pray you, be content, and we will be more mannerly.
New. Nay, I cannot put up such an injury;
For, seeing I am in office, I will be known therefore:
Fend your heads, sirs, for I will to it more once. [He fighteth again.
Ralph. I pray you be content, good gentle Master Nichol:
Tom. I never saw the like, by Gog's soul.
New. Well, my masters, because you do intend
To learn good manners, and your conditions to amend,
I will have but one fit more, and so make an end.
Ralph. I pray you, sir, let us no more contend.
New. Marry, this hath breathed me very well:
Now let me hear, how your tales ye can tell.
And I (master judge) will so bring to pass,
That I will judge who shall be knave of clubs at Christmas.[339]
Tom. Gog's wounds, I am like Phalaris, that made a bull of brass—
New. Thou art like a false knave now, and evermore was.
Tom. Nay, I am like Phalaris, that made a bull of brass,
As a cruel torment for such as did offend,
And he himself first therein put was:
Even so are we brought now to this end,
In ordaining him a judge, who will be honoured as a god,
So for our own tails we have made a rod.
Ralph. And I am served as Haman, that prepar'd—
New. How was he served, I pray thee, do me tell?
Ralph. Who I speak of? thou knowest well.
New. Thou art served as Harry Hangman, captain of the black guard.
Ralph. Nay, I am served as Haman, that prepared
A high pair of gallows for Mordecai the Jew,
And was the first himself that thereon was hanged:
So I feel the smart of mine own rod, this is true.
But hereafter I will learn to be wise,
And ere I leap once, I will look twice.
New. Well, Tom Tosspot, first let me hear thee.
How canst thou prove thyself a verier knave than he?
Tom. You know that Tom Tosspot men do me call?
New. A knave thou hast always been, and evermore shall.
Tom. My conditions, I am sure, ye know as well as I.
New. A knave thou was born, and so thou shalt die.
Tom. But that you are a judge, I would say unto you,
Knaves are Christian men, else you were a Jew.
New. He calls me knave by craft, do you not see?
Sirrah, I will remember it, when you think not on me.
Well, say what thou canst for thine own behoof;
If thou provest thyself the verier knave by good proof,
Thou must be the elder brother, and have the patrimony;
And when he hath said, then do thou reply.
Even Thomas-a-Waterings or Tyburn Hill[340]
To the falsest thief of you both, by my father's will!
Ralph. I pray you, sir, what is that patrimony?
New. I pray you leave your courtesy, and I will tell you by and by.
If he be the more knave, the patrimony he must have,
But thou shalt have it, if thou prove thyself the verier knave;
A piece of ground it is, that of Beggars' manor do[th] hold,
And whoso deserves it, shall have it, ye may be bold—
Call'd Saint Thomas-a-Waterings or else Tyburn Hill,
Given and so bequeathed to the falsest by will.
Tom. Then I trow I am he, that this patrimony shall possess,
For I Tom Tosspot do use this trade doubtless:
From morning till night I sit tossing the black bowl,[341]
Then come I home, and pray for my father's soul.
Saying my prayers with wounds, blood, guts, and heart:
Swearing and staring, thus play I my part.
If any poor man have in a whole week earn'd one groat,
He shall spend it in one hour in tossing the pot.
I use to call servants and poor men to my company,
And make them spend all they have unthriftily;
So that my company they think to be so good,
That in short space their hair grows through their hood.
New. But will no gossips keep thee company now and then?
Tom. Tush, I am acquainted with many a woman,
That with me will sit in every house and place;
But then their husbands had need fend their face.
For when they come home, they will not be afeard,
To shake the goodman, and sometime shave his beard.
And as for Flemish[342] servants I have such a train,
That will quass and carouse, and therein spend their gain.
From week to week I have all this company;
Wherefore I am worthy to have the patrimony.
New. Thus thou may'st be called a knave in grain;
And where knaves are scant, thou shalt go for twain.
But now, Ralph Roister, let me hear what thou canst say.
Ralph. You know that Ralph Roister I am called alway,
And my conditions in knavery so far doth surmount,
That to have this patrimony I make mine account,
For I entice young gentlemen all virtue to eschew,
And to give themselves to riotousness, this is true.
Serving-men also by me are so seduced,
That all in bravery their minds are confused.
Then, if they have not themselves to maintain,
To pick and to steal they must be fain.
And, I may say to you, I have such a train,
That sometime I pitch a field on Salisbury plain.[343]
And much more, if need were, I could say verily:
Wherefore I am worthy to have the patrimony.
New. He, that shall judge this matter, had need have more wit than I;
But, seeing you have referred it unto my arbitrement,
In faith I will give such equal judgment,
That both of you shall be well-pleased and content.
Tom. Nay, I have not done, for I can say much more.
New. Well, I will not have you contend any more.
But this farm, which to Beggars' manor doth appertain,
I will equally divide between you twain.
Are you not content, that so it shall be?
Both. As it pleaseth you, so shall we agree.
New. Then see, that anon ye come both unto me.
Ralph. Sir, for my part, I thank you heartily:
I promised of late to come unto a company,
Which at Hob Filcher's for me do remain:
God be with you, and anon I will come again.
Tom. Farewell, brother Ralph, I will come to you anon. [Exit Tom.[344]
New. Come again, for you shall not so suddenly be gone.
Here entereth Hance with a pot, and singeth as followeth.
See ye not who comes yonder? an old friend of yours:
One that is ready to quass at all hours.
[He singeth the first two lines, and speaketh the rest as stammeringly as may be.
Quass in heart, and quass again, and quass about the house-a:
And toss the black bowl to and fro, and I brinks[345] them all carouse-a.
Be go-go-gog's nowns, ch-ch-cha drunk zo-zo-much to-day:
That be-be-mass, ch-cham a-most drunk, ich da-da-dare zay.
Chud spe-spe-spend a goo-goo-good groat:
Tha-that ich cud vi-vind my ca-ca-captain To-To-Tom Tosspot.
[He setteth him in the chair.
New. Sit down, good Hance, lest thou lie on the ground,
He knoweth not Tom Tosspot, I dare jeopard twenty pound.
Tom.[346] He will know me by and by, I hold you a crown.
How dost thou, servant Hance? how comes this to pass?
Hance. Ma-ma-master To-To-Tom, ch-ch-cham glad by-by mass—
[He drinketh.
Ca-ca-carouse to-to-to thee, go-go-good Tom.
New. Hold up, good Hance, I will pledge thee anon.
Ralph. Well, there is no remedy, but I must be gone.
Hance. Ta-ta-tarry, good vellow, a wo-wo-word or twain:
If tho-tho-thou thyself do-do-do not come again.
Bi-bi-bid Philip Fleming co-co-come hither to me,
Vo-vo-vor he must lead me home, now ich do ze.
Ralph. Then, farewell, Hance, I will remember thy errant:
He will be here by and by, I dare be his warrant. [Exit Ralph Roister.
New. Farewell, Ralph Roister, with all my heart:
Come anon, and I will deliver thee thy part.
Tom. Now, Hance, right now thou drank'st to me,
Drink again, and I will pledge thee.
Hance. Omni po-po-po-tenti, all the po-po-pot is empty.
New. Why, Hance, thou hast Latin in thy belly methink:
I thought there was no room for Latin, there is so much drink!
Hance. Ich le-le-learned zome La-La-Latin, when ich was a la-la-lad:
Ich ca-ca-can zay Tu es nebulo, ich learn'd of my dad.
And ich could once he-he-help the p-p-priest to say mass:
By giss, ma-man, ich ha' been cu-cu-cunning, when 'twas.
Tom. I knew Hance, when he was, as he say'th:
For he was once a scholar in good faith;
But through my company he was withdrawn from thence,
Through his riot and excessive expense.
Unto this trade, which now you do in him see:
So that now he is wholly addicted to follow me;
And one of my guard he is now become.
Well, Hance, well, thou wast once a white son![347]
New. Now, so God help me, thou art a pretty fellow, Hance;
A clean-legged gentleman, and as proper a paunch,
As any I know between this and France.
Hance. Yes, by-by-by God, ich co'd once dance.
New. I speak of no dancing, little-bellied Hance;
But, seeing thou say'st thou canst so well dance,
Let me see where thou canst dance lively.
Hance. Tha-tha-that ca-ca-can I do vull trimly.
[He danceth as evil-favoured as may be demised, and in the dancing he falleth down, and when he riseth, he must groan.
New. Rise again, Hance, thou hadst almost got a fall:
But thou dancest trimly, legs and all.
Body of me, Hance, how doth thy belly, canst thou tell?
By the mass, he hath beray'd his breeches, methink by the smell.
Tom. I will help thee up, Hance, give me thy hand. [He riseth.
Hance. By-by mass, ch-ch-chwas almost down, I think ve-verily.
New. Wast thou almost down, Hance? marry, so think I,
But thou art sick, methink by the groaning:
He grunts like a bear, when he is a-moaning.
Hark, how his head aches, and how his pulses do beat:
I think he will be hang'd, his belly is so great.
Hance. Go-Go-God-amercy, good Tom, with all my heart:
New. If thou canst not leap, Hance, let me see thee drink a quart,
And get thee out abroad into the air.
Tom. Tush, he had more need to sleep in this chair.
Sit down, Hance, and thou shalt see anon,
Philip Fleming will come to fetch thee home.
[Hance sitteth in the chair, and snorteth, as though he were fast asleep.
New. I pray thee, Tom Tosspot, is this one of thy men?
Tom. He is a companion of mine now and then.
New. By the faith of my body, such carpenter, such chips,
And as the wise man said, such lettuce, such lips.
For, like master, like man: like tutor, like scholar;
And, like will to like, quoth the Devil to the Collier.
Tom. It is no remedy, for it must needs so be;
Like will to like, you may believe me.
[Philip Fleming entereth with a pot in his hand.
New. Lo, where Philip Fleming cometh even in pudding time!
Tom. He bringeth in his hand either good ale or else good wine.
Philip Fleming singeth these four lines following:
Troll the bowl and drink to me, and troll the bowl again,
And put a brown toast in [the] pot for Philip Fleming's brain.
And I shall toss it to and fro, even round about the house-a:
Good hostess, now let it be so, I brink them all carouse-a.
Philip. Marry, here is a pot of noppy good ale.
As clear as crystal pure and stale.
Now a crab in the fire were worth a good groat,
That I might quass with my captain Tom Tosspot.
What? I can no sooner wish, but by and by I have!
God save mine eyesight, methink I see a knave.
What, captain! how goeth the world with you?
Why, now I see the old proverb to be true;
Like will to like, both with Christian, Turk, and Jew.
Marry, Philip, even as I was wont to do:
Philip. Ralph Roister told me that I should find Hance here,
Where is he, that he doth not appear?
New. I hold twenty pound the knave is blind.
Turn about, Philip Fleming, and look behind.
Hast thou drunk so much that thy eyes be out?
Lo, how he snoreth like a lazy lout.
Go to him, for he sleepeth sound:
Two such paunches in all England can scant be found.
Philip. Why, Hance, art thou in thy prayers so devoutly?
Awake, man, and we two will quass together stoutly.
Hance. Domine, dominus noster;
Me-think ich a spied three knaves on a cluster.
New. Stay a while, for he sayeth his pater noster.
Hance. Sanctum benedictum, what have I dreamed?
By Gog's nowns, chad thought ich had been in my bed.
Chad dreamed such a dream, as thou wilt marvel to hear,
Me-thought I was drowned in a barrel of beer.
And by and by the barrel was turned to a ship,
Which me-thought the wind made nicely to skip.
And I did sail therein from Flanders to France:
At last ich was brought hither among a sort of knaves by chance.
New. Lo, Hance, here is Philip Fleming come now,
We will go drink together now, how say'st thou?
Hance. I pray thee, good Vilip, now lead me away:
Philip. Give me thy hand, and I will thee stay.
Hance. How say you, Master Nichol, will you keep us company?
New. Go before, Master Lick-hole,[348] and I will come by and by.
Mates matched together, depart you three;
I will come after, you may believe me.
[They three are gone together, and Nichol Newfangle remaineth behind, but he must not speak till they be within.]
New. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
He sings.
Now three knaves are gone, and I am left alone,
Myself here to solace;
Well done, gentle Jone, why begin you to moan?
Though they be gone, I am in place.
And now will I dance, and now will I prance,
For why I have none other work:
Snip snap, butter is no bone meat:
Knave's flesh is no pork.
Hey tisty-toisty, an owl is a bird,
Jackanapes hath an old face;
You may believe me at one bare word,
How like you, this merry case?
A piece of ground they think they have found,
I will tell you what it is:
For I them told of Beggars' manor it did hold,
A staff and a wallet i-wis.
Which in short space, even in this place,
Of me they shall receive:
For when that their drift hath spent all their thrift,
Their minds I shall deceive.
I trow you shall see more knaves come to me,
Which whensoever they do,
They shall have their meed, as they deserve indeed,
As you shall see shortly these two.
When they do pretend to have had a good end,
Mark well, then, what shall ensue:
A bag and a bottle, or else a rope knottle,
This shall they prove too true.
But mark well this game, I see this gear frame;
Lo, who cometh now in such haste?
It is Cuthbert Cutpurse
And Pierce Pickpurse,
Give room now a little cast.
Here entereth Cuthbert Cutpurse and Pierce Pickpurse.
[Cuthbert Cutpurse must have in his hand a purse of money or counters in it, and a knife in one hand and a whetstone in the other; and Pierce must have money or counters in his hand and jingle it, as he cometh in.]
Cuth. By Gog's wounds, it doth me good to the heart,
To see how cleanly I play'd this part.
While they stood thrusting together in the throng,
I began to go them among;
And with this knife, which here you do see,
I cut away this purse cleanly.
New. See to your purses, my masters, and be ruled by me,
For knaves are abroad, therefore beware.
You are warn'd: and ye take not heed, I do not care. [Aside.
Pierce. And also, so soon as I had espied
A woman in the throng, whose purse was fat,
I took it by the strings, and cleanly it untied:
She knew no more of it than Gib our cat.
Yet at the last she hied apace,
And said, that the money in my hand she saw.
Thou whore, said I, I will have an action of the case,
And seeing thou say'st so, I will try the law.
Cuthb. How say'st thou, Pierce Pickpurse, art thou not agreed
These two booties equally to divide?
Then let us count the total sum,
And divide it equally, when we have done.
New. My masters, here is a good fellow, that would fain have some.
Cuthb. What, Nichol Newfangle, be you here?
So God help me, I am glad with all my heart.
Pierce. Then, ere we depart, we will have some cheer,
And of this booty you shall have your part.
New. I thank you both even heartily,
And I will do somewhat for you by and by:
Are not you two sworn brothers in every booty?
Both. Yes, that we are truly.
New. Then can I tell you news, which you do not know:
Such news as will make you full glad, I trow.
But first tell me this, Pierce Pickpurse,
Whether is the elder, thou or Cuthbert Cutpurse?
Pierce. In faith, I think we are both of one age well nigh.
Cuthb. I suppose there is no great difference, truly:
But wherefore ask you? I pray you, tell me why?
New. I will tell you the cause without any delay:
For a piece of land is fallen, as I hear say,
Which by succession must come to one of you:
A proper plot it is, this is most true.
For thou, Cuthbert Cutpurse, was Cuthbert Cutthroat's son,
And thou, Pierce Pickpurse, by that time thou hast done,
Canst derive thy pedigree from an ancient house:
Thy father was Tom Thief, and thy mother was Tib Louse.
This piece of land, whereto you inheritors are,
Is called the land of the two-legged mare;[349]
In which piece of ground there is a mare indeed,
Which is the quickest mare in England for speed.
Therefore, if you will come anon unto me,
I will put you in possession, and that you shall see.
Cuthb. I cannot believe that such luck is happen'd to us.
New. It is true, that I to you do discuss.
Pierce. If you will help us to this piece of ground,
Both of us to you shall think ourselves bound.
New. Yes, in faith, you shall have it, you may believe me;
I will be as good as my word, as shortly you shall see.
Cuthb. Then, brother Pierce, we may think ourselves happy,
That ever we were with him acquainted.
Pierce. Even so we may of a certainty,
That such good luck unto us hath happened.
But, brother Cuthbert, is it not best
To go in for awhile, and distribute this booty?
Whereas we three will make some feast,
And quass together, and be merry.
Cuthb. What say you, Nichol?
New. I do agree.
Here entereth Virtuous Living.
But, soft, awhile be ruled by me,
Look, yonder a little do you not see,
Who cometh yonder? awhile we will abide;
Let him say his pleasure, and we will stand aside.
V. L. O gracious God, how wonderful are thy works,
How highly art thou of all men to be praised:
Of Christians, Saracens, Jews, and also Turks,
Thy glory ought to be erected and raised.
What joys hast thou prepared for the virtuous life,
And such as have thy name in love and in awe;
Thou hast promised salvation to man, child, and wife,
That thy precepts observe, and keep well thy law.
And to the virtuous life what doth ensue?
Virtutis premium honor, Tully doth say;
Honour is thy guerdon for virtue due,
And eternal salvation at the latter day.
How clear in conscience is the virtuous life!
The vicious hath consciences so heavy as lead.
Their conscience and their doing is alway at strife;
And altogether they live yet to sin they are dead.
New. God give you good-morrow, sir, how do you to-day?
V. L. God bless you also both now and alway.
I pray you, with me have you any acquaintance?
New. Yea, marry, I am an old friend of yours, perchance.
V. L. If it be so, I marvel very much,
That the dulness of my wit should be such,
That you should be altogether out of my memory.
Tell me your name, I pray you heartily.
New. By the faith of my body, you will appose me by and by;
But, in faith, I was but little when I was first born;
And my mother to tell me my name thought it scorn.
V. L. I will never acquaint me with such in any place,
As are ashamed of their names, by God's grace.
New. I remember my name now, it is come to my mind:
I have mused much, before I could it find.
Nichol Newfangle it is; I am your old friend.
V. L. My friend? marry, I do thee defy,
And all such company I do deny.
For thou art a companion for roisters and ruffians,
And not fit for any virtuous companions.
New. And, in faith, art thou at plain defiance?
Then I see I must go to mine old acquaintance.
Well, Cuthbert Cutpurse and [Pierce] Pickpurse, we must go together;
For, like will to like, quoth the Devil to the Collier.
V. L. Indeed, thou say'st true, it must needs be so,
For like will ever to his like go;
And my conditions and thine so far do disagree,
That no familiarity between us may be.
For thou nourishest vice both day and night:
My name is Virtuous Life, and in virtue is my delight.
So vice and virtue cannot together be united;
But the one the other hath always spited.
For as the water quencheth fire, and the flame doth suppress,
So virtue hateth vice, and seeketh a redress.
Pierce. Tush, if he be so dangerous, let us not him esteem,
And he is not for our company, I see very well;
For if he be so holy, as he doth seem,
We and he differ as much as heaven and hell.
New. You know, that like will to like alway,
And you see how holily he is now bent:
To seek his company why do we assay?
Pierce. I promise you, do you what you will, I do not consent:
For I pass not for him, be he better or be he worse.
New. Friend, if you be wise, beware your purse.
For this fellow may do you good when all comes to all;
If you chance to lose your purse in Cutpurse Hall.
But, in faith, fare ye well, sith of our company you be weary:
We will go to a place, where we will be merry.
For I see your company and ours do far differ;
For like will to like, quoth the Devil to the Collier.
Cuthb. Well, let us be gone, and bid him adieu:
For I see this proverb proveth very true.
Pierce. Then let us go to Hob Filcher's house,
Where we will be merry, and quass carouse.
And there shall we find Tom Tosspot, with other mo,
Meet makes for us: therefore let us go.
Then, seeing we are all of one mind,
Let us three go, and leave a knave here behind.
[Exeunt New., Cuthb., and Pierce.
They sing this song[350] as they go out from the place.
Good hostess, lay a crab in the fire, and broil a mess of souse-a:
That we may toss the bowl to and fro, and brinks them all carouse-a.
And I will pledge Tom Tosspot, till I be drunk as a mouse-a:
Whoso will drink to me all day, I will pledge them all carouse-a.
Then we will not spare for any cost, so long as we be in house-a:
Then, hostess, fill the pot again, for I pledge them all carouse-a.
[When this is spoken, V. Living must pause a while, and then say as followeth.
O wicked imps, that have such delight,
In evil conversation wicked and abhoninable:
And from virtue's lore withdraw yourselves quite,
And lean to vice most vile and detestable.
How prone and ready we are vice to ensue?
How deaf we be good counsel to hear?
How strange we make it our hearts to renew?
How little we have God's threats in fear?
Saint Augustine say'th in his fifth book, De Civitate Dei,
Conjunctæ sunt ædes Virtutis et Honoris, say'th he;
The houses of virtue and honour joined together be.
And so the way to honour's house is disposed,
That through virtue's house he must needs pass:
Or else from honour he shall soon be deposed,
And brought to that point, that he before was.
But if through virtue honour be attained:
The path to salvation may soon be gained.
Some there be, that do fortune prefer;
Some esteem pleasure more than virtuous life.
But in my opinion all such do err;
For virtue and fortune be not at strife.
Where virtue is, fortune must needs grow:
But fortune without virtue has soon the overthrow.
Thrice happy are they, that do virtue embrace,
For a crown of glory shall be their reward:
Satan at no time may him anything deface,
For God over him will have such regard,
That his foes he shall soon tread under foot;
And by God's permission pluck them up by the root.
It booteth not vice against virtue to stir,
For why vice is feeble and of no force:
But virtus eterna preclaraque habetur.
Wherefore I would all men would have remorse,
And eschew evil company vile and pernicious:
Delight in virtuous men, and hate the vicious.
And as the end of virtue is honour and felicity,
So mark well the end of wickedness and vice!
Shame in this world and pain eternally,
Wherefore you, that are here, learn to be wise,
And the end of the one with the other weigh,
By that time you have heard the end of this play.
But why do I thus much say in the praise of virtue,
Sith the thing praiseworthy needs no praise at all?
It praiseth itself sufficiently, this is true,
Which chaseth away sin as bitter as gall?
And where virtue is, it need not to be praised,
For the renown thereof shall soon be raised.
Intrat Good Fame.
G. F. O Virtuous Life, God rest you merry,
To you am I come for to attend.
V. L. Good Fame, ye are welcome heartily.
I pray you, who did you hither send?
G. F. Even God's Promise hath sent me unto you,
Willing me from you not to depart:
But always to give attendance due,
And in no wise from you to start.
For God of his promise hath most liberally
Sent me Good Fame to you Virtuous Life;
Whereby it may be seen manifestly,
God's great zeal to virtue both in man and wife.
For why they may be sure, that I, Good Fame,
From the virtuous life will never stray:
Whereby honour and renown may grow to their name,
And eternal salvation at the latter day.
V. L. God is gracious and full of great mercy
To such as in virtue set their whole delight:
Pouring his benefits on them abundantly.
O man, what, meanest thou with thy Saviour to fight?
Come unto him, for he is full of mercy,
The fountain of virtue and of godliness the spring:
Come unto him, and thou shall live everlastingly;
He doth not require thee any price to bring.
Venite ad me omnes qui laboratis et onerati
Estis, et ego refossilabo vos.
Come unto me, ye that travail (say'th he)
And such as with sin are heavily loden:
And of me myself refreshed you shall be.
Repent, repent, your sins shall be downtrodden—
Well, Good Fame, sith God of his goodness
Hath hither sent you on me to attend,
Let us give thank to him with humbleness,
And persuade with all men their lives to amend.
G. F. Virtuous Life, I do thereto agree,
For it becometh all men for to do so.
Intrat God's Promise, and Honour with him.
But, behold, yonder cometh God's Promise, as seemeth me;
And Honour with him cometh also.
V. L. Such godly company pleaseth me very well;
For vicious men from our company we should expel.
G. P. God rest you merry both, and God be your guide.
Honour. We are now come to the place where we must abide.
For from you, Virtuous Life, I Honour may not slide.
G. P. I am God's Promise, which is a thing eterne,
And nothing more surer than his promise may be:
A sure foundation to such as will learn
God's precepts to observe: then must they needs see
Honour in this world, and at last a crown of glory;
Ever in joy and mirth, and never to be sorry.
Wherefore, O Virtuous Life, to you we do repair,
As messengers from God, his promise to fulfil;
And therefore sit you down now in this chair,
For to endue you with honour is God's promise and will.
[Virtuous Living sitteth down in the chair.
Honour. Now take this sword in hand as a token of victory,
This crown from my head to you I shall give:
I crown you with it as one most worthy,
And see that all vice ye do punish and grieve,
For in this world I Honour with you shall remain,
And Good Fame from you cannot refrain:
And after this life a greater crown you shall attain.
G. F. What heart can think, or what tongue can express
G. F. What heart can think, or what tongue can express
The great goodness of God, which is almighty?
Who seeth this, and seeks not vice to suppress,
Honour, Good Fame, yea, and life everlastingly?
Thy name be praised, O Lord, therefore,
And to thee only be glory and honour!
Sith God's Promise hath brought honour into place,
I will for a while leave you three alone:
For I must depart now for a little space;
But I shall come to you again anon. [Exit Good Fame.
V. L. God's Promise is infallible, his word is most true;
And to ground thereon a man may be bold:
As Scripture doth testify and declare unto you,
On which foundation your building you may behold.
For virtuous rulers the fruit of felicity do reap:
And reward of fame and honour to themselves they heap.
Honour. Seeing we have now endued him with the crown and the sword,
Which is due unto him by God's promise and word,
Let us three sing unto God with one accord.
G. P. To sing praises unto God it liketh well me.
V. L. And I also with you do thereto agree.
A pleasant noise to God's ears it must needs bring,
That God's Promise, Honour, and Virtuous Life do sing.
They sing this Song following.
Life is but short, hope not therein;
Virtue immortal seek for to win.
Whoso to virtue doth apply,
Good fame and honour must obtain.
And also live eternally,
For virtuous life this is the gain.
Life is but, &c.
God's promise sure will never fail;
His holy word is a perfect ground;
The fort of virtue, O man, assail,
Where treasure always doth abound.
Life is but, etc.
To thee alone be laud and praise,
O Lord, that are so merciful;
Who never failed at all assays,
To aid and help the pitiful.
Life is but, etc. [Exeunt omnes.
[Here entereth in Nichol Newfangle, and bringeth in with him a bag, a staff, a bottle, and two halters, going about the place, showing it unto the audience, and singeth thus:]
Trim mer-chandise, trim trim: trim mer-chandise, trim trim.
[He may sing this as oft as he thinketh good.]
Marry, here is merchandise, who so list for to buy any:
Come, see for your love, and buy for your money,
This is land, which I must distribute anon,
According to my promise, ere I be gone,
For why Tom Tosspot, since he went hence,
Hath increased a noble just unto nine-pence,[351]
And Ralph Roister, it may no otherwise be chosen,
Hath brought a pack of wool to a fair pair of hosen.
This is good thrift, sirs, learn it who shall,
And now a couple of fellows are come from Cutpurse Hall;
And there have they brought many a purse to wrack.
Lo, here is gear that will make their necks for to crack.
For I promised Tom Tosspot and Ralph Roister a piece of land:
Lo, here it is ready in my right hand:
A wallet and a bottle; but it is not to be sold.
I told them before, that of Beggar's Manor it did hold,
And for Cuthbert Cutpurse and Pierce Pickpurse here is good fare:
This is the land of the two-legged mare,
Which I to them promised, and [to] divide it with discretion:
Shortly you shall see I will put them in possession.
How like you this merchandise, my masters? Is it not trim?
A wallet, a bottle, a staff, and a string,
How say'st thou, Wat Waghalter? Is not this a trim thing?
In faith, Ralph Roister is in good case, as I suppose;
For he hath lost all that he hath, save his doublet and his hose,
And Tom Tosspot is even at that same point;
For he would lose a limb or jeopard a joint;
But, behold, yonder they come both, now all is gone and spent,
I know their errand, and what is their intent.
[Here entereth in Ralph Roister and Tom Tosspot in their doublet and their hose, and no cap nor hat on their head, saving a nightcap, because the strings of the beards may not be seen, and Ralph Roister must curse and ban as he cometh in.[352]]
Ralph. Well, be as be may, is no banning;
But I fear that, when that this gear shall come to scanning,
The land to the which we did wholly trust:
Shall be gone from us, and we cast in the dust.
Tom. Gog's blood, if Nichol Newfangle serve us so,
We may say, that we have had a shrewd blow;
For all that I had is now lost at the dice,
My sword, my buckler, and all at sink and cise;[353]
My coat, my cloak, and my hat also;
And now in my doublet and my hose I am fain to go.
Therefore, if Nichol Newfangle help not now at a pinch
I am undone, for of land I have not an inch.
Ralph. By Gog's wounds, even so is it now with me,
I am in my doublet and my hosen, as you see:
For all that I had doth lie at pledge for ale.
By the mass, I am as bare as my nail,
Not a cross of money to bless me have I;
But I trow we shall meet Nichol Newfangle by and by.
[Nichol Newfangle comes forward.
New. Turn hither, turn hither, I say, sir knave,
For I am even he, that you so fain would have.
Ralph. What, Master Nichol, are you here all this while?
New. I think I am here, or else I do thee beguile.
Tom. So God help me, I am glad that you be in sight;
For in faith your presence hath made my heart light.
New. I will make it lighter anon, I trow. [Aside.
My masters, I have a piece of land for you, do you know?
Ralph. Marry, that is the cause of our hither resort.
For now we are void of all joy and comfort.
Tom. You see in what case we now stand in,
And you heard us also even now, I ween,
Wherefore, good Master Nichol, let us have this land now,
And we shall think ourselves much bound unto you.
New. You know, that I this land must divide,
Which I shall do; but a while abide.
All thy goods for ale at pledge be (to Tom),
And thou (to Ralph) say'st a pair of dice have made thee free.[354]
First, Ralph Roister, come thou unto me,
Because thou hast lost every whit at dice,
[He giveth the bag to R. Roister, and the bottle to Tom Tosspot.
Take there this bag to carry bread and cheese,
And take thou this bottle, and mark what I shall say:
If he chance to eat the bread and cheese by the way,
Do thou in this matter follow my counsel,
Drink up the drink, and knock him about the head with the bottle;
And because that Ralph is the elder knave,
This staff also of me he shall have.[355]
Ralph. But where is the land, that to us you promised?
New. In faith, good fellows, my promise is performed.
Tom. By Gog's blood, I thought that it would be so.
New. This must you have, whe'r you will or no,
Or else fall to work with shovel and with spade;
For begging now must be your chiefest trade.
Ralph. Gog's heart, can I away[356] with this life?
To beg my bread from door to door?
I will rather cut my throat with a knife,
Than I will live thus beggarly and poor.
By Gog's blood, rather than I will it assay,
I will rob and steal, and keep the highway.
Tom. Well, Ralph Roister, seeing we be in this misery,
And labour we cannot, and to beg it is a shame;
Yet better it is to beg most shamefully,
Than to be hanged, and to thievery[357] ourselves frame.
New. Now, my masters, learn to beware;
But like will to like, quoth the Devil to the Collier.
Ralph. O Lord, why did not I consider before,
What should of roisting be the final end.
Now the horse is stolen, I shut the stable-door.
Alas, that I had time my life to amend!
Time I have, I must needs confess;
But yet in misery that time must be spent:
Seeing that my life I would not redress;
But wholly in riot I have it all spent;
Wherefore I am now brought to this exigent.
But the time pass'd cannot be called, this is no nay.
But the time pass'd cannot be called, this is no nay.
Wherefore all here take example by me:
Time tarrieth no man, but passeth still away;
Take time, while time is, for time doth flee;
Use well your youthly years, and to virtuous lore agree.
For if I to virtue had any respect,
This misfortune to me could not have chanced;
But because unto vice I was a subject,
To no good fame may I be now advanced.
My credit also is now quite stanched.
Wherefore I would all men my woful case might see,
That I to them a mirror might be.
Tom. O all ye parents, to you I do say:
Have respect to your children and for their education,
Lest you answer therefore at the latter day,
And your meed shall be eternal damnation.
If my parents had brought me up in virtue and learning,
I should not have had this shameful end;
But all licentiously was my up-bringing,
Wherefore learn by me your faults to amend.
But neither in virtue, learning, or yet honest trade,
Was I bred up my living for to get:
Therefore in misery my time away must vade;
For vicious persons behold now the net.
I am in the snare, I am caught with the gin;
And now it is too late, I cannot again begin.
New. This gear would have been seen to before,
But now, my masters, you are on the score.
Be packing, I say, and get you hence;
Learn to say: I pray, good master, give me nine-pence.
Ralph. Thou, villain, art only the causer of this woe;
Therefore thou shalt have somewhat of me, or ere I go.
Tom. Thou hast given me a bottle here;
But thou shalt drink first of it, be it ale or beer.
[Ralph Roister beateth him with his staff, and Tom Tosspot with his bottle.
Ralph. Take this of me, before I go hence.
Tom. Take that of me in part of recompense.
New. Now am I driven to play the master of fence.
Come no near[358] me, you knaves, for your life,
[They have him down, and beat him, and he crieth for help.
Lest I stick you both with this woodknife.
Back, I say! back, thou sturdy beggar!
Body of me, they have ta'en away my dagger.
Ralph. Now, in faith, you whoreson, take heed, I you advise,
How you do any more young men entice.
Tom. Now, farewell, thou hast thy just meed.
Ralph. Now we go abegging, God send us good speed!
[Ralph Roister and Tom Tosspot go out, and Severity, the judge, entereth, and Nichol Newfangle lieth on the ground groaning.
Sev. That upright judgment without partiality
Be minist'red duly to ill-doers and offenders!
I am one, whose name is Severity,
Appointed a judge to suppress evil-doers,
Not for hatred nor yet for malice:
But to advance virtue and suppress vice.
Wherefore Isodorus these words doth say:
Non est Judex, si in eo non est Justitia!
He is not a judge that Justice doth want,
But he that truth and equity doth plant.
Fully also these words doth express,
Which words are very true doubtless.
Semper iniquus est judex, qui aut invidet aut favet:
They are unrightful judges all,
That are either envious or else partial.
New. Help me up, good sir, for I have got a fall.
Sev. What cause have you, my friend, thus heavily to groan?
New. O sir, I have good cause to make great moan;
Here were two fellows but right now,
That (I think) have killed me, I make God a vow.
I pray you, tell me, am I alive or am I dead?
Sev. Fellow, it is more meet for thee to be in thy bed,
Than to lie here in such sort as thou dost.
New. In faith, I should have laid some of the knaves in the dust,
If I had had your sword right now in presence;
I would have had a leg or an arm, ere they had gone hence.
Sev. Who is it that hath done thee this injury?
New. A couple of beggars have done me this villainy.
Sev. I see, if severity should not be executed,
One man should not live by another.
If such injuries should not be confuted,
The child would regard neither father nor mother.
Give me thy hand, and I shall help thee.
New. Hold fast your sword then, I pray you heartily. [He riseth.
Sev. Now, friend, it appeareth unto me,
That you have been a traveller of the country
And such as travel do hear of things done,
As well in the country, as the city of London.
How say you, my friend, can you tell any news
New. That can I, for I came lately from the stews.
There are knaves abroad, you may believe me,
As in this place shortly you shall see.
No more words, but mum, and stand awhile aside:
Yonder cometh two knaves; therefore abide.
Intrat C. Cutpurse and Pierce Pickpurse.
Cuthb. By Gog's wounds, if he help not now, we are undone:
By the mass, for my part, I wot not whither to run.
Pierce. We be so pursu'd on every side
That, by Gog's heart, I wot not where to abide.
Cuthb. Every constable is charged to make privy search;
So that, if we may be got, we shall be thrown over the perch.
Pierce. If Nichol Newfangle help us not now in our need,
We are like in our business full evil to speed.
Therefore let us make no delay,
But seek him out of hand, and be gone away.
Severity and N. Newfangle come forward.
New. Soft, my masters, awhile I you pray;
For I am here, for whom you do seek;
For you know that like will never from like.
I promised you of late a piece of land,
Which by and by shall fall into your hand.
Cuthb. What, Master Nichol! how do you to-day?
Pierce. For the passion of God, Master Nichol, help to rid us away;
And help us to the land, whereof you did say,
That we might make money of it by and by;
For out of the realm we purpose to fly.
New. Marry, I will help you, I swear by All Hallows:
And will not part from you, till you come to the gallows.
Lo, noble Severity, these be they without doubt.
On whom this rumour of thievery[359] is gone about,
Therefore, my masters, here is the snare,
That shall lead you to the land, called the two-legged mare.
[He putteth about each of their necks a halter.
Sev. My friend, hold them fast even in that plight.
New. Then come, and help me with your sword; for I fear they will fight.
Sev. Strive not, my masters; for it shall not avail;
But awhile give ear unto my counsel.
Your own words hath condemned you for to die;
Therefore to God make yourselves ready.
And by and by I will send one, which for your abusion,
Shall lead you to the place of execution.
New. Help to tie their hands, before ye be gone. [Sev. helpeth to tie them.
Sev. Now they are bound, I will send one to you anon. [Exit.
New. Ah, my masters, how like you this play?
You shall take possession of your land to-day!
I will help to bridle the two-legged mare,
And both you for to ride need not to spare.
Now, so God help me, I swear by this bread,
I marvel who shall play the knave, when you twain be dead.
Cuthb. O cursed caitiff, born in an evil hour,
Woe unto me, that ever I did thee know.
For of all iniquity thou art the bow'r;
The seed of Satan thou dost always sow.
Thou only hast given me the overthrow.
Woe worth the hour, wherein I was born!
Woe worth the time that ever I knew thee!
For now in misery I am forlorn;
O, all youth take example by me:
Flee from evil company, as from a serpent you would flee;
For I to you all a mirror may be.
I have been daintily and delicately bred,
But nothing at all in virtuous lore:
And now I am but a man dead,
Hanged I must be, which grieveth me full sore.
Note well the end of me therefore;
And you that fathers and mothers be,
Bring not up your children in too much liberty.
Pierce. Sith that by the law we are now condemned,
Let us call to God for his mercy and his grace;
And exhort that all vice may be amended,
While we in this world have time and space.
And though our lives have licentiously been spent,
Yet at the last to God let us call;
For he heareth such as are ready to repent,
And desireth not that sinners should fall.
Now are we ready to suffer, come when it shall.
Here ent'reth in Hankin Hangman.
New. Come, Hankin Hangman, let us two cast lots,
And between us divide a couple of coats:
Take thou the one, and the other shall be mine.
Come, Hankin Hangman, thou cam'st in good time.
[They take off the coats, and divide them.
Hankin. Thou should'st have one, Nichol, I swear by the mass,
For thou bringest work for me daily to pass;
And through thy means I get more coats in one year,
Than all my living is worth beside, I swear.
Therefore, Nichol Newfangle, we will depart never:
For like will to like, quoth the Devil to the Collier.
New. Now, farewell, Hankin Hangman, farewell to thee.
Hankin. Farewell, Nichol Newfangle: come you two with me.
[Hankin goeth out, and leadeth the one in his right hand, and the other in his left, having halters about their necks.
New. Ha, ha, ha! there is a brace of hounds, well worth a dozen crowns,
Behold the huntsman leadeth away!
I think in twenty towns, on hills, and eke on downs.
They taken have their prey.
So well liked was their hunting on hill and eke on mountain,
That now they be up in a lease:[360]
To keep within a string, is it not a gay thing?
Do all of you hold your peace?
Why then, good gentle boy, how likest thou this play?
No more, but say thy mind:
I swear by this day, if thou wilt this assay,
I will to thee be kind.
This is well brought to pass of me, I swear by the mass:
Some to hang, and other some to beg:
I would I had Balaam's ass to carry me, where I was;
How say you, little Meg?
Ralph Roister and Tom Tosspot, are now not worth a groat,
So well with them it is:
I would I had a pot, for now I am so hot,
By the mass, I must go piss.
Philip Fleming and Hance have danc'd a pretty dance,
That all is now spent out.
And now a great mischance came on while they did prance:
They lie sick of the gout.
And in a 'spital-house, with little Laurence louse,
They be fain for to dwell:
If they eat a moisel of souse, or else a roasted mouse,
They think they do fare well.
But as for Peter Pickpurse, and also Cuthbert Cutpurse,
You saw them both right now:
With them it is much worse, for they do ban and curse;
For the halter shall them bow.
Now if I had my nag, to see the world wag,
I would straight ride about:
Ginks, do fill the bag. I would not pass a rag
To hit you on the snout.
The Devil entereth.
Lu. Ho, ho, ho! mine own boy, make no more delay,
But leap up on my back straightway.
New. Then who shall hold my stirrup, while I go to horse?
Lu. Tush, for that do thou not force!
Leap up, I say, leap up quickly.
New. Woh, Ball, woh! and I will come by and by.
Now for a pair of spurs I would give a good groat!
To try whether this jade do amble or trot.
Farewell, my masters, till I come again,
For now I must make a journey into Spain.
[He rideth away on the Devil's back. Here entereth Virtuous Life and Honour.
V. L. O worthy diadem, O jewel most precious,
O virtue, which dost all worldly things excel:
How worthy a treasure thou art to the virtuous?
Thy praise no pen may write, nor no tongue tell.
For I, who am called Virtuous Life,
Have in this world both honour and dignity:
Immortal fame of man, child and wife,
Daily waiteth and attendeth on me.
The commodity of virtue in me you may behold,
The enormity of vice you have also seen:
Therefore now to make an end we may be bold,
And pray for our noble and gracious Queen.
Honour. To do so, Virtuous Life, it is our bounden duty;
And because we must do so, before we do end,
To aid us therein, Good Fame cometh verily,
Which daily and hourly on you doth attend.
Here entereth Good Fame.
G. F. Virtuous Life, do what you list:
To pray or to sing I will you assist.
V. L. O Lord of hosts, O King Almighty,
Pour down thy grace upon our noble Queen!
Vanquish her foes (Lord), that daily and nightly
Through her thy laws may be sincerely seen.
Honour. The honourable council also (O Lord) preserve,
The lords both of the clergy and of the temporality:
Grant that with meekness they may thee serve,
Submitting to thee with all humility.
G. F. O Lord, preserve the Commons of this realm also;
Pour upon them thy heavenly grace;
To advance virtue and vice to overthrow,
That at last in heaven with thee they may have place.
A song.[361]
Where like to like is a-matched so,
That virtue must of force decay:
There God with vengeance, plagues and woe,
By judgment just must needs repay.
For, like to like, the worldings cry:
Although both likes do grace defy.
And where as Satan planted hath
In vicious minds a sinful trade:
There like to like do walk his path,
By which to him like they are made.
So like with like reward obtain,
To have their meed in endless pain.
Likewise in faith, where matches be,
And where as God hath planted grace;
There do his children still agree,
And like to like do run their race.
Like Christ, like hearts of Christian men;
As like to like well-coupled then.
Therefore like grace, like faith and love,
Like virtue, springs in each degree:
Where like assistance from above
Doth make them like so right to be.
A holy God, a Christ most just:
And so like souls in him to trust.
Then like as Christ above doth reign,
In heaven high our Saviour best:
So like with him shall be our gain,
In peace and joy, and endless rest.
If we ourselves like him do frame,
In fear of his most holy name.
To him be praise, that grace doth give,
Whereby he fashioneth us anew:
And make us holily to live,
Like to himself in faith most true.
Which our redemption sure hath wrought:
Like him to be most dearly bought.
FINIS.
END OF VOL. III.
FOOTNOTES:
[1] A cheating bully, so called in several Acts of Parliament during the reign of King Henry the Eighth.—S.
[2] A common proverb, of which there are varying versions; but the original is quot homines, &c.
[3] Merchant was anciently used as we now use the word chap. See note on "Romeo and Juliet," A. 2, S. 4.—Steevens.
[4] Cowle or rather coll [Coll] I suppose to be the name of the dog.—Steevens.
Cowle my dog, I am inclined to believe, means put a cowl or hood on a dog, and he will be as learned as a friar: the contempt into which the order had at this period fallen will at least countenance the explanation, if it should not be thought sufficient to prove it. I once was of opinion, that there might be an allusion to the case of one Collins, a crazy man, who seeing a priest hold up the host over his head, lifted up a dog in the same manner, for which both he and the animal were burnt in 1538. See Fox, vol. ii. 436.
My conjecture requires a little explanation. The speaker means to say, "If the New Testament is fit for the use of boys, so likewise is it adapted equally to the conception of Coll my dog. The one will understand and make a proper use of it as soon as the other."—Steevens. [What will be thought of the preceding note, I hardly know; the text is the clearer.]
[5] By the Stat. 33 Hen. VIII. c. 9, s. 16, a penalty is imposed on certain persons therein mentioned, who should play at the tables, tennis, dice, cards, bowls, clash, coyting, logating, or other unlawful game.
[6] Perhaps a contraction of save your reverence.—Steevens.
[7] Fox, in the third volume of his "Acts and Monuments," p. 131, says: "Over and besides divers other things touching M. Rogers, this is not to be forgotten, how, in the daies of King Edward the Sixth, there was a controversie among the Bishops and Clergie for wearing of priests caps, and other attyre belonging to that order. Master Rogers, being one of that number which never went otherwise than in a round cap during all the time of King Edward, affirmed that he would not agree to that decreement of uniformitie, but upon this condition, that if they would needs have such an uniformitie of wearing the cap, tippet, &c., then it should be decreed withall, that the papists, for a difference betwixt them and others, should be constrained to weare upon their sleeves a chalice with an host upon it. Whereunto if they would consent, he would agree to the other, otherwise he would not, he said, consent to the setting forth of the same, nor ever weare the cap; nor indeed he never did."
[8] I suppose the "Legenda Aurea," the "Golden Legend" of Jacobus de Voragine.—Steevens.
[9] [Intended.]
[10] i.e., Umpires. So Spenser—
"For what art thou
That makst thyself his daysman, to prolong
The vengeance past?"—Faerie Queene.—S.
A days-man, says Ray, in his "Collection of North Country Words," p. 25, is "an arbitrator, an umpire or judge. For, as Dr Hammond observes in his Annotation on Heb. x. 25, p. 752, the word day, in all languages and idioms, signifies judgment. So man's day, 1 Cor. iii. 13, is the judgment of men. So diem dicere in Latin is to implead."
[11] Well content. In Psalm lxxxiii. ver. 8, we have—
"And Assur eke is well apaid,
With them in league to be."
[12] i.e., in the theological writings of Duns Scotus, who obtained the title of Doctor Subtilis.—S. See also note 25 to "The Revenger's Tragedy."
[13] [Serious.]
[14] The original copy reads—
"With strange guises invented now long agoe."
But the sense seems to require the negative, which former editors substituted for now.—C.
[15] So in Hamlet: "The king is a thing of nothing." See the Notes of Dr Johnson, Dr Farmer, and Mr Steevens on that passage, edition of Shakspeare, 1778, vol. 10, p. 336. This play on the words was very common.
Again, in "The Humorous Lieutenant," A. iv. S. 6—
"Shall, then, that thing that honours thee
How miserable a thing soever, yet a thing still,
And, tho' a thing of nothing, thy thing ever."
[Dyce's edit. vi. 516.]
[16] "Similes habent labra lactucas. A thistle is a sallet fit for an ass's mouth. We use when we would signify that things happen to people which are suitable to them, or which they deserve; as when a dull scholar happens to a stupid or ignorant master, a froward wife to a peevish husband, &c. Dignum patella operculum. Like priest, like people, and on the contrary. These proverbs are always taken in the worst sense. Tal carne, tal cultello, Ital. Like flesh, like knife." [See Hazlitt's "Proverbs," &c., 1869, pp. 33, 263.]
[17] [i.e., Quodest thou, or saidest thou.]
[18] [Old copy and Dodsley, mowle. A hairy nowl is a member of the reformed faith, as distinguished from the shaven crowns of the priests.]
[19] Sometimes written portas, or portos, i.e., breviary—Du Cange, in Portiforium. "Portuasses, Mr Tyrwhitt observes (Notes on Chaucer, ver. 13061), are mentioned among other prohibited books in the Stat. 3 and 4 Edw. VI. c. 10. And in the Parliament Roll of 7, Edw. IV. n. 40, there is a petition, that the robbing of Porteous, Grayell, Manuell, &c., should be made felonie without clergy; to which the King answered, La Roy s'avisera."
The portuse is mentioned in Greene's "History of Fryer Bacon and Fryer Bungay." [Works by Dyce, 1861, p. 162—]
"I'll hamper up the match,
I'll take my portace forth, and wed you here."
[20] Make is used for mate throughout the works of Gower. Shakspeare likewise, if I am not mistaken, employs it in one of his sonnets.—S.
[21] [See Hazlitt's "Handbook," 1867, p. 129, v. costume, No. 3. The phrase seems to be used here to signify expensive foreign fashions generally.]
[22] The 4to reads grace. The alteration by Mr Dodsley.
[23] A proverb. Tu hai mantillo di ogni acqua.—S.
[24] i.e., The onset.—S.
[25] i.e., God's nails. So afterwards "By his wounds"—"His blood"—without repetition of the sacred name by way of introduction.—S.
[26] In Fox's third volume of "Ecclesiastical History," 1630, p. 799, is an account of one Richard Woodman, who was burnt at Lewes, with nine others, on the 22d of June 1557. The circumstances attending his apprehension resemble those above-mentioned, and seem to be the same as are alluded to by the author of this morality.
[27] [i.e., What of this?]
[28] An expression of dislike or aversion used by almost every writer of the times. Ben Jonson's Cynthia's Revels, A. iv. S. 5—"Of all nymphs i' the court, I cannot away with her."
Poetaster, A. iii. S. 4—"And do not bring your eating player with you there; I cannot away with her."
Bartholomew Fair, A. i. S. 6—"Good 'faith, I will eat heartily too, because I will be no Jew, I could never away with that stiff-necked generation." [Gifford's edit. iv. 400-1.]
[29] [Beat him by stratagem. See Halliwell's Diet, in v.]
[30] i.e., I care not. Camden in his "Remains" says, "I force not of such fooleries." Shakspeare has the same phrase.—S.
[31] [In that direction sets the tide of opinion. This saying is in Heywood's collection, 1562.]
[32] [The usual form of the proverb is, "Need maketh the old wife trot.">[
[33] [Exertion, effort.]
[34] i.e., Nursed, fostered.—S.
[35] It was a custom at the end of our ancient interludes and plays to conclude with a solemn prayer for the king or queen, the council, the parliament, or the nobleman by whom the players were protected. Many instances are produced by Dr Farmer and Mr Steevens, in their last notes on the epilogue to "Second Part of Henry IV.," and many others might be added. See particularly the conclusion of Fulwell's "Like will to like, quoth the Devil to the Collier," 1368; Wager's "The longer thou livest the more foole thou art;" "King Darius," and others.—Reed.
[36] [Interest.]
[37] [Not in the old copy.]
[38] One of the names of the devil in old morals.—W. D. Cooper.
[39] [Sheet-anchor.]
[40] Impudently vaunting and boasting.
"You preserve
A race of idle people here about you,
Facers and talkers.—Maids Tragedy, Act iv., sc. 2.
—W. D. Cooper.
[41] In all probability an alteration to mean Elizabeth, in whose reign the play was printed; for in act iii., sc. 4, M. Merrygreek talks of the "arms of Calais"; and so does R. Roister, act iv., sc. 7. Calais was lost in 5th Mary, and the play was quoted by Wilson in 1551, when Edward was on the throne.—W. D. Cooper.
[42] [Affirm, agree to it.]
[43] [i.e., His own white son.] White boy is a common expression of endearment in old plays, and to this day white-headed boy is an expression of fondness in Ireland, though the locks of the individual to whom it is applied may be "black as the raven's plume."—W. D. Cooper.
[44] [Or glombing, i.e., louring. See Halliwell v. Glombe.]
[45] Voice.
"I syng not musycall,
For my brest is decayd."
—Armonye of Byrdes.
Halliwell's "Archaic and Provincial Words."—W. D. Cooper.
[46] [In danger of debt, i.e. in the power of any man on account of debt.]
[47] [i.e. Let them consider how, &c.]
[48] [i.e. By God's arms.]
[49] [I warrant you, as far as madness is concerned. Mr Cooper proposed to read from mad; but the alteration appears to me unnecessary.]
[50] [Fortunes are always exaggerated.]
[51] [Nearer.]
[52] This was a proverbial expression. See Heywood's "Proverbs" and "Taming of the Shrew," act ii., sc. I. Backare probably means Back there! or Go back!—Cooper. [The meaning is, clearly enough, that Gawin Goodluck must retreat from his courtship.]
[53] Your mastership.—Cooper.
[54] Quotha.
[55] Some of these are the heroes of romances.—Cooper.
[56] [A creature of the same country. Aly seems here to be the same as alyche. See Halliwell, v. v. alyche and alye.]
[57] Tertius e cœlo cecidit Cato. Juv., Sat. ii., 40.—Cooper.
[58] [Kindred, parentages.]
[59] I give thee thanks.—Cooper.
[60] Feats or deeds, from the Latin factum, "And rattle forth his facts of war and blood."—Marlowe's "Tamburlaine the Great," Part I., 1590.—Cooper.
[61] [This word has escaped Nares and others. But it is merely a colloquialism for love, and is in that sense still in familiar use.]
[62] [Guessed.]
[63] The word "here," which is not in the original, seems necessary to complete the metre and rhyme.—Cooper.
[64] Jack Mumblecrust is the name of one of the beggars who dine with Sir Owen Meredith: "Peace! hear my lady. Jack Mumblecrust steal no more penny loaves."—Patient Grissel, act iv., sc. 3. It is also a name given to the widow Minever by Captain Tucca in Dekker's "Satiromastix." Madge Mumblecrust is mentioned in the MS. comedy of "Misogonus," 1577.—Cooper.
[65] Scolding. "Whur, to snarl like a dog."—Bailey.
[66] "Soft fier makes swet malt"; see "The Marriage of Wit and Wisdom," edited by Halliwell, p. 13.—Cooper.
[67] [The throat, which we still familiarly term red lane.]
[68] Songs introduced in our old plays are often not found in the printed copies. Some of those in this piece, are, however, given at the end, and others are introduced in the body of the play. In the above instance, perhaps, only an air was to be hummed.—Cooper.
[69] The terms Sirrah and Sir appear to have been frequently applied indifferently both to male and female. In Whetstone's "Promos and Cassandra," 1578, Grymball says to his mistress—
"Ah, syr, you woulde belike let my cocke-sparrowes go."—Cooper.
[70] A corruption of the sacred name.
[71] Scolded. It sometimes means ruined or destroyed.—Cooper.
[72] [This song is quoted in "A Pore Helpe," probably printed many years before "Ralph Roister Doister." See Hazlitt's "Popular Poetry," ii., 260. It therefore seems likely that in this, as in other cases, Udall introduced a song popular at the time, and the composition of some one else.]
[73] i.e., "I had not so much, I wot not when: never since I was born, I ween." She here speaks a rustic dialect.—Cooper.
[74] Her re-entrance is not marked.—Cooper.
[75] [Orig. reads, what.]
[76] Joke.—Borde, bourd, or boord, as the word is spelled by Spenser, means a jest or sport; from the French Bourde—
"Of old adventures that fell white,
And some of bourdes and ribaudry."
—Lay le Freine. See Toone's Glossary.—Cooper.
[77] Seriously whispering—
"And in his ear him rounded close behind."
—Faerie Queene, Book iii., Canto 10.—Cooper.
[78] [Apparently intentional nonsense for nobis miscebetur miserere.]
[79] [For make.]
[80] God's wounds.
[81] Music. So often used of old.—Cooper.
[82] A copse or bush. See "Tempest," act iv., sc. 1.
"And every bosky bourn from side to side."—Milton.
—Cooper.
[83] [Appearance, quasi semblety, semblance.]
[84] [Should we not read fute? See Halliwell in v.]
[85] See the second song at the end of the play.—Cooper.
[86] The word spouse is here used for betrothed lover.—Cooper.
[87] The idea is borrowed from Alexander's celebrated reply to Parmenio.—Cooper.
[88] A night has passed between the first and second acts.—Cooper.
[89] A tune: generally a mournful one.
[90] A flageolet.
[91] A lute, or guitar.
"What have ye of the Lord Dakers?
He maketh vs Jacke Rakers;
He says we are but crakers."
—Skelton's Why come ye not to Court?
See also the same author's "Speke Parrot."—Cooper.
[93] Passe-temps, pastime, sport. So in act iv., sc. vi.—
"Do ye think, Dame Custance,
That in this wooing I have meant ought but pastance?"
Again, act v., scene 2—
"Truly, most dear spouse, nought was done but for pastance."
—Cooper.
[94] [Shaken.]
[95] [In the original, D. Doughty is made to go out.]
[96] [Perhaps a sort of allusion to the proverb, To go to Rome with a mortar on one's head.]
[97] A Lombard's touchstone, to try gold and silver. See "Richard III.," act iv., sc. 2.—Cooper.
[98] A proverbial expression, relating to a still common practice.—Cooper.
[99] Tib and Annot would seem to enter here.—Cooper.
[100] A fit usually means the division of a ballad, but here it is to be understood as a song.—Cooper.
[101] i.e., Abide the consequences, rue, or suffer for. See "A Midsummer Night's Dream," act iii., sc. 2.—Cooper.
[102] Truepenny goes out here, but the old copy omits his exit.—Cooper.
[103] [Original, her.]
[104] [Shield.]
[105] A fool or blockhead. See act v., scenes 2 and 5. "Cough me a fool" is common in old plays.—Cooper.
[106] A bird-bolt, a short, thick arrow, with a blunt head, chiefly made use of to kill rooks. It appears to have been looked upon as an emblem of dulness. So in Marston's "What you Will," 1607—
"Ignorance should shoot
His gross-knobb'd bird-bolt."
[107] [Chop-logic.]
"The divell is in th' orloge, the houres to trye:
Searche houres by the sun, the devylls dyall will lie."
—Heywood's Proverbs.
—Cooper.
[109] A jostle.
[110] Mocked or devised for a lout. See "First Part of Henry VI.," act iv., scene 3.—Cooper.
[111] A proverbial expression of heedless jollity. See the Induction to the "Taming of the Shrew," where Sly exclaims: "Paucas pallabris; let the world slide; Sessa!"—Cooper.
[112] See the Psalmody at the end of the Comedy.—Cooper.
[113] Executor.
[114] See the end of the Comedy.—Cooper.
[115] [Swoon.]
[116] [Original, courage.]
[117] Voice.
[118] Walking with an air or swing.
[119] Formerly applied to any kind of obeisance, either of man or woman.—Cooper.
[120] [Original gives this line to Merrygreek.]
[121] The re-entry is not marked in the old copy.—Cooper.
[122] See the fourth song at the end of the Comedy.—Cooper.
[123] i.e., If you will have us, have us.—Cooper.
[124] This is the passage quoted by T. Wilson in his "Rule of Reason, conteinyng the arte of Logique," printed by Grafton in 1551.—Cooper.
[125] [Jesus.]
[126] In faith: from the French, foy.—Cooper.
[127] In earnest—heartily. So in Marlow's "Rich Jew of Malta," 1633, act ii., sc. 3 [sign. E 2, verso]—
"I have laugh'd a good to see the cripples
Goe limping home to Christendome on stilts."—Cooper.
[128] This expression, though now generally used to denote some little lapse of time, formerly signified immediately. It is so used still in the North of England.—Cooper.
[129] With difficulty—scarcely. See "Second Part of Henry the Sixth," act ii., sc. 4.—Cooper.
[130] [Since.] The re-entrance of Merrygreek is not marked in the old copy.—Cooper.
[131] [Time.]
[132] Earlier. Rath, for early, occurs in Chaucer and in Milton.—Cooper.
[133] Plundering—
"Which polls and pills the poor in piteous wise."
—Cooper. —Faerie Queene, Book v., canto 2.
[134] [In the old copy this half-line is wrongly given to the Scrivener.]
[135] Destroy. See "King Lear," act iii., scene 2.—Cooper.
[136] Head.
[137] [It seems a question, whether this line does not belong to Ralph Roister.]
[138] Welfare. Udall uses the word in this sense in his letter to the Cornish men.—Cooper.
[139] In seriousness.
[140] In jest.
[141] Disliked or resented. See "Antony and Cleopatra," act iii., scene 4.—Cooper.
[142] So in "The Maid's Metamorphosis," 1600; "In vain, I fear, I beat my brains about." These expressions have the same signification as the "Cudgel thy brains no more about it," of the First Gravedigger in "Hamlet."—Cooper.
[143] A pitiful, worthless fellow. See "Winter's Tale," act ii., sc. 3.—Cooper.
[144] No matter.
[145] These words, not in the old copy, are necessary for the rhyme.—Cooper.
[146] His entrance is not marked in the original.—Cooper.
[147] Cuff. In Tim Bobbin's "Glossary of the Lancashire Dialect," a coil is explained by "a lump raised on the head by a blow." See also Brockett's "Glossary of North Country Words."—Cooper.
[148] [Passion.]
[149] I can. See ante.
[150] Slower, graver.
[151] Now, once for all.
[152] i.e., So fierce. A sow at certain seasons is said to go to brim—
"They foughten breme as it were bolles two."
—Cooper. Chaucer, Knight's Tale, line 1701.
[153] Allow.
[154] A sheep. Cotswold (pronounced Cotsold) is an old word for a sheepcote. Hence the name of the hills in Gloucestershire.—Cooper.
[155] To assemble. It is used by Bacon in his "History of Henry the Seventh," p. 68, fol. 1629.—Cooper.
[156] [Old copy, and.]
[157] [Abide by the bargain.]
[158] i.e., Be not reconciled to her.—Cooper.
[159] A small gun, perhaps a corruption of popgun.—Cooper.
[160] The exit and re-entry of Dobinet are not marked in the old copy.—Cooper.
[161] To protect or guard. In "Richard II.," act i., sc. 3, the expression is—
"Mine innocency and Saint George to thrive!"—Cooper.
[162] T. Trusty is the prefix to this and the following line in the old copy, but it must be an error.—Cooper.
[163] [Put for mass, as Gog for God, &c.]
[164] [An idea perhaps borrowed from the interlude of "Thersites," where we have the ludicrous incident of the snail. Udall has drawn Ralph Roister Doister somewhat on the model of "Thersites," except that in Roister Doister the man's good nature and singleness of character win our regard, whereas the other is a contemptible braggart without any redeeming trait.]
[165] See "Two Gentlemen of Verona," act. iv., scene 4.—Cooper.
[166] Mankind is used by Shakespeare and other writers of his time as an adjective, in the sense of masculine.—Cooper.
[167] So in the old copy, but Ralph, Mat., Dob., and Harpax, only go out; lower down, the exeat of course applies to T. Trusty.—Cooper.
[168] [Peculiar place or function.]
[169] i.e., I approve of your conduct. See "Second Part of Henry IV.," act iv., sc. 2; "King Lear," act ii., sc. 4; and Romans, c. xiv., v. 22.—Cooper.
[170] Adulteress, from the old French advoultrer. In Cartwright's "Ordinary," act iv., sc. 5, the Constable says, "I'll look there shall be no advoutry in my ward."—Cooper.
[171] i.e., Bear me no ill-will.
[172] With these words R. Roister evidently retires.—Cooper.
[173] Encourage him. So in the epistle to Gabriel Harvey, prefixed to Spenser's "Shepherd's Calendar": "The Right Worshipfull Maister Philip Sidney is a speciall favourer and maintainer of all kinde of learning."—Cooper.
[174] The exit and re-entry are not marked.—Cooper.
[175] [It seems probable that this prayer at the end was intended for Queen Elizabeth, not for her predecessor. The original prayer, if there was one, on the first presentation of the comedy, may have been suppressed in favour of one to suit the new circumstances.]
[176] Ancient interludes frequently ended with a prayer, which it was the custom of the players to deliver kneeling.—Cooper.
[177] These are the songs referred to in the body of the Comedy.
[178] A pet or darling wife.—Cooper.
[179] [Query, Sir John, i.e., the priest, to say the requiem. See Hazlitt's "Proverbs," p. 414.]
[180] ["So out went the candle, and we were left darkling," "King Lear," i. 4; Dyce's 2d edit. vii. 269.]
[181] ["Proceedings of the Suffolk Institute," iii., 130.]
[182] "Annals of the Stage," ii. 463.
[183] "Lectures on the Dramatic Literature of the Age of Elizabeth," 1820, p. 208.
[184] The ancient abbreviation of Richard.
[185] After the dissolution of the religious houses where the poor of every denomination were provided for, there was for many years no settled or fixed provision made to supply the want of that care, which those bodies appear always to have taken of their distressed brethren. In consequence of this neglect, the idle and dissolute were suffered to wander about the country, assuming such characters as they imagined were most likely to insure success to their frauds, and security from detection. Among other disguises, many affected madness, and were distinguished by the name of Bedlam Beggars. These are mentioned by Edgar in "King Lear:"—
"The country gives me proof and precedent,
Of bedlam beggars who, with roaring voices,
Strike in their numbed and mortified bare arms,
Pins, wooden pricks, nails, sprigs of rosemary,
And with this horrible object from low farms,
Poor pelting villages, sheepcotes, and mills,
Sometime with lunatic bans, sometimes with prayers,
Enforce their charity."
In Dekker's "Belman of London" [1608] all the different species of beggars are enumerated. Amongst the rest mentioned "Tom of Bedlam's" band of madcaps; otherwise called Poor Tom's flock of wild geese or hair-brains, are called Abraham men. An Abraham man is afterwards described in this manner: "Of all the mad rascalls (that are of this wing) the Abraham-man is the most phantastick. The fellow (quoth this old lady of the Lake vnto me) that sat halfe naked (at table to day) from the girdle vpward, is the best Abraham-man that euer came to my house, & the notablest villaine: he sweares he hath bin in bedlam, and will talke frantickly of purpose: you see pinns stuck in sundry places of his naked flesh, especially in his armes, which paine hee gladly puts himselfe to (beeing indeede no torment at all, his skin is either so dead with some fowle disease, or so hardened with weather) onley to make you beleeue he is out of his wits: he calls himselfe by the name of Poore Tom, and comming neere any body cryes out, Poore Tom is a cold. Of these Abraham-men, some be exceeding mery, and doe nothing but sing songs, fashioned out of their owne braines, some will dance; others will doe nothing but either laugh or weepe; others are dogged, and are sullen both in looke and speech, that, spying but small company in a house, they boldly and bluntly enter, compelling the servants through feare to giue them what they demaund, which is commonly bacon, or something that will yielde ready mony." [Edit. 1608, sign. D 2.] Of this respectable fraternity Diccon seems to have been a member. Massinger mentions them in "A New Way to Pay Old Debts," act ii., sc. 1: "Are they padders, or Abraham-men, that are your consorts?"
[186] The summer beam or dorman. Poles laid over a stable or other building.—Ray's "Collection of English Words," p. 167.
[187] A sort is a company. So in Jonson's "Every man out of his Humour," act ii., sc. 3: "I speak it not gloriously, nor out of affectation, but there's he and the count Frugale, signior Illustre, signior Luculento, and a sort of them," &c. Also, in Nash's "Pierce Pennilesse," 1592, p. 6, "I know a great sort of good fellows that would venture," &c. Again, in the "Vocacyon of Johan Bale," 1533; "In parell of pyrates, robbers, and murthirors, and a great sort more." And in Skelton's Works, edit. 1736, p. 136—
"Another sorte of sluttes
Some brought walnutes."
See also Dr Johnson and Mr Steevens's Notes on Shakspeare, Vol. III. p. 69.
[188] An old trot or trat, Dr Grey says, signifies a decrepid old woman or an old drab. In which sense it is used in Gawin Douglas' Virgil, B. iv. p. 96, 97—
"Out on the old trat agit wyffe or dame."
And p. 122, 39:
"Thus saith Dido, and the tother with that,
Hyit or furth with slow pase like ane trot."
And Shakspeare: "Why give her gold enough, and marry him to a puppet, aglet baby, or an old trot with ne'er a tooth in her head" (Taming of the Shrew, act i., sc. 5; Critical Notes on Shakspeare, Vol. I. p. 118.) It is also used by Churchyard—
"Away young Frie that gives leawd counsel, nowe,
Awaie old trotts, that sets young flesh to sale," &c.
—Challenge, 1583, p. 250.
And by Gascoigne:
"Goe: that gunne pouder consume the old trotte!"
—Supposes, act iii., sc. 5. [Hazlitt's edit. i. 230.]
Again, in Nash's "Lenten Stuff," 1599: "A cage or pigeon house, roomsome enough to comprehend her, and the toothless trot her nurse, who was her only chat mate and chamber maid," &c.
See also Mr Steevens's Notes on Shakspeare, Vol. II. p. 93.
[189] So in Nash's "Pierce Pennilesse," p. 23, "we have generall rules and injunctions as good as printed precepts, or statutes set downe by acte of parliament, that goe from drunkard to drunkard as still to keepe your first man, not to leave anie flockes in the bottom of the cup, to knock the glasse on your thumbe when you have done, to have some shooring horne to pull on your wine, as a rasher of the coles, or a redde herring." Again in Nash's "Lenten Stuff," 1599, "which being double roasted, and dried as it is, not only sucks up all the rheumatick inundations, but is a shoeing horn for a pint of wine overplus."
[190] [Soiled.]
[191] A planch is a plank of wood. To planch therefore is a verb formed from it. See "Measure for Measure," Vol. II., edit. 1778, p. 106.—S.
The above note but ill explains its meaning; the word will be better illustrated by the following description of the fortification of Ypres by Holinshed: "It was fensed with a mighty rampire and a thicke hedge, trimlie planshed, and woond with thornes," &c.—Chron. 2. 759. Ed. 1807.—O. G.
[192] This is the reading of the first edition, which in all the subsequent ones is very improperly altered to cover. To cower, is to bend, stoop, hang, or lean over. See Beaumont and Fletcher's "Monsieur Thomas," act. iv., sc. 6, and Nash's "Pierce Pennilesse," 1592, p. 8.
Again—
"He much rejoyst, and cour'd it tenderly,
As chicken newly hatcht, from dreaded destiny."—
Spenser's Fairy Queen, B. ii., c. 8. sc. 9.
So in Shakspeare's "King Henry VI." Part II. vol. vi., p. 362, edit. 1778—
"The splitting rocks cowr'd in the sinking sand."—S.
Again—
"As thus he spake, each bird and beast behold
Approaching two and two, these cow'ring low
With blandishment, each bird stoop'd on his wing."
—Paradise Lost, B. viii., l. 349.
[193] I believe we should read halse anchor, or anker, as it was anciently spelt; a naval phrase. The halse or halser was a particular kind of cable. Shakspeare, in his "Antony and Cleopatra, has an image similar to this—
"The brize upon her, like a cow in June,
Hoists sail and flies."—S.
[194] Gib was the name by which all male or ram cats were distinguished. See Warton's Note on the "First Part of Henry IV.," act i., sc. 2.
[195] i.e., Breaking. See Note on "King Henry IV.," Part II., edit. 1778, vol. v., p. 537.—S.
From the following passage, in a letter from Mr Sterne, dated August 11, 1767, it appears that the word was then still used in the same sense among the common people in the north of England. "My postilion has set me a-ground for a week, by one of my pistols bursting in his hand, which he, taking for granted to be quite shot off, he instantly fell upon his knees, and said, 'Our Father which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name,' at which, like a good Christian, he stopped, not remembering any more of it; the affair was not so bad as he at first thought, for it has only bursten two of his fingers, he says."
[196] [Haunch. See Halliwell's "Dict. v. Pesate.">[
[197] i.e., God's curse. Glossary to Peter Langtoft.
[198] Mr Dodsley, in the former edition, reads tacke.
[199] Swiftly and directly—
Kyng Estmere threwe the harpe asyde
And swith he drew his brand;
And Estmere he and Alder yonge,
Right stiffe in stour can stand.
—Percy's Reliques of Ancient Poetry,
[Ed. 1765] vol. i., p. 75.
Hence swythe to Doctor Rat hie thee, that thou were gone.
—Act iii., sc. 3.
Thou shalt find lying an inch of white tallow candle.
Light it, and bring it tite away.
—Act i., sc. 4.
[200] Perhaps a corruption of Saint Swithin.—S.
[201] Mr Dodsley reads, back again.
[202] "This term," says Mr Malone, "came into use from the name of a celebrated fool. This I learn from Wilson's 'Art of Rhetorique,' 1553: 'A word making, called of the Grecians Onomatopiea, is when we make words of our own mind, such as be derived from the nature of things,' as to call one patche, or cowlson, whom we see to do a thing foolishly; because these two in their time were notable fools.
"Probably the dress which the celebrated patch wore was in allusion to his name, patched or parti-coloured. Hence the stage-fool has ever since been exhibited in a motley coat. In Rowley's 'When you see me, you know me,' Cardinal Wolsey's fool Patch is introduced. Perhaps he was the original patch of whom Wilson speaks."—Note on "Merchant of Venice," act ii., sc. 5.
In Chaloner's translation of the "Praise of Folly," by Erasmus, 1549, is the following passage: "And by the fayeth ye owe to the immortal godds, may any thing to an indifferent considerer be deemed more happie and blisful than is this kinde of men whome commonly ye call fooles, poltes, ideotes, and paches?"
Again, "I have subtraied these my selie paches, who not onelye themselves are ever mery, playing, singing, and laughyng, but also whatever they doo, are provokers of others lykewyse to pleasure, sporte, and laughter, as who sayeth ordeyned herefore by the Godds of theyr benevolence to recreate the sadnesse of mens lyves."
[203] In all cases of distress, and whenever the assistance of a superior power was necessary, it was usual with the Roman Catholics to promise their tutelary saints to light up candles at their altars, to induce them to be propitious to such applications as were made to them. The reader will see a very ridiculous story of this kind in the first volume of Lord Oxford's "Collection of Voyages," p. 771, quoted in Dr Grey's "Notes on Shakspeare," vol. i. p. 7. Erasmus has a story to the same purpose in his "Naufragium."
[204] [Respecting this song, see Bell's "Songs from the Dramatists," p. 34.]
[205] Alluding to the drunkenness of the Friars.
[206] So in act iii., sc. 4—
"A cup of ale had in his hand, and a crab lay in the fire."
Again—
"Now a crab in the fire were worth a good groat,
That I might quaff with my Captain Tom tospot."
—Fulwell's Like will to Like, c. 2.
Again—
"And sometime lurk I in a gossip's bowl,
In very likeness of a roasted crab."
—Midsummer Night's Dream, act ii., sc. 1.
Upon this last passage, Mr Steevens has given the following examples of the use of this word—
"Yet we will have in store a crab in the fire,
With nut-brown ale."—Henry V., Anon.
"And sit down in my chaire by my faire Alison,
And turn a crabbe in the fire as merry as Pope Joan."
—Edwards's Damon and Pithias.
"Sitting in a corner turning crabs,
Or coughing o'er a warmed pot of ale."
—Description of Christmas in Summer's last Will and Testament, by Nash, 1600.
[207] Trowl, or trole the bowl, was a common phrase in drinking for passing the vessel about, as appears by the following beginning of an old catch—
"Trole, trole the bowl to me,
And I will trole the same again to thee."
And in this other, in Hilton's Collection—
"Tom Bouls, Tom Bouls,
Seest thou not how merrily this good ale trowles?
—Sir John Hawkins's History of Music, Vol. III., 22.
Again—
"Sirra Shakebagge, canst thou remember
Since we trould the boule at Sittingburn."
—Arden of Feversham, 1592.
"Giv't us weele pledge, nor shall a man that lives
In charity refuse it, I will not be so old
As not be grac't to honour Cupid, giv't us full.
When we were young, we could ha trold it off.
Drunke down a Dutchman."
—Marston's Parasitaster or The Fawne, act. v.
"Now the cups trole about to wet the gossips whistles,
It pours down, I faith, they never think of payment."
—A Chast Mayd in Cheap-side, p. 34.
[208] Add.
[209] See Dekker's Description of an Abraham-man, supra.
[210] To swink is to work or labour; as in Spenser's "Fairy Queen," B. II., cant. vii., st. 8.
"For which men sweat and swink incessantly."
Again in "Comus," l. 293—
"And the swinkt hedger at his supper sat."
Also in Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales," Prol., l. 184—
"What schulde he studie, make himselven wood,
Uppon a book in cloystre alway to powre,
Or swinke with his hands, and laboure,
As Austin byt? how schal the world be served?
Let Austyn have his swynk to him reserved."
And in "Pierce Plowman's Vision"—
"Hermets an heape with hoked staves,
Wenten to Walsingham, and her wenches after.
Great loubees and long, that loth were to swinke,
Clothed hem in copes, to be knowen from other."
[211] Will.
[212] Old copy, than.
[213] In the 14th of Queen Elizabeth, 1572, an Act of Parliament passed, by which very heavy penalties were inflicted on all rogues, vagabonds, and sturdy beggars. Among others, who are therein described and directed to be deemed such, are idle persons going about feigning themselves to have knowledge in phisnomie, palmestrie, or other abused sciences, whereby they bear the people in hand that they can tell their destinies, deaths, and fortunes, and such other like fantastical imaginations. This statute seems to be alluded to here by Diccon, and will serve to confirm the later date of the play; and at the same time prove the forgery of that assigned to it by Chetwood.
[214] Fetched.
[215] Old copy, syme.
[216] "Ut mulieres solent ad mingendum."—S.
[217] To.
[218] Can.
[219] I con him no thanks for it, occurs in Shakspeare's "All's Well that Ends Well," and Mr Steevens says it means, "I shall not thank him in studied language." I meet with the same expression in Nash's "Pierce Pennilesse," &c.—
"I believe he will con thee little thanks for it."
Again, in "Wily Beguiled," 1606—
"I con master Churms thanks for this."
Again, in "Anything for a Quiet Life": "He would not trust you with it, I con him thanks for it."
Cun or con thanks, says the "Glossary to the Lancashire Dialect," is to give thanks; and in that sense only the words appear to be used to this day in the North of England. In Erasmus's "Praise of Folly," by Chaloner, 1549, sig. E 2: "But in the meane while ye ought to conne me thanke," &c., and sig. I 4: "Who natheless conned him as greate thanke," &c. Again, in Nash's "Pierce Pennilesse," p. 28: "It is well doone 'to practise thy wit, but (I believe) our Lord will cun thee little thanke for it.'"
[220] i.e., Glossing or commenting upon. So, in "Pierce Plowman":
"Glosed the Gospel as hem good liked,
For covetous of copes construe it as thei wold."
[221] Trump was a game played with cards, as will appear by the following passage of Dekker's "Bellman of London," 1608, sig. F: "To speak of all the slights used by Card-players in al sorts of Games would but weary you that are to read, and bee but a thanklesse and unpleasing labour for me to set them downe. Omitting therefore the deceipts practised (even in the fairest & most civill companies) at Primero, Saunt, Maw, Tromp, and such like games, I will," &c. [See Nares, v. Trump.]
[222] i.e., In secrecy. See note to the "Merry Wives of Windsor," edit. 1778, vol. i., p. 228.—S.
[223] Our dear Lady of Boulogne is no other than the image of the Virgin Mary at Boulogne, which was formerly held in so much reverence, that it was one of those to which Pilgrimages used to be made. In Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales," Prol. 1. 465, describing the "Wife of Bath," he says—
"And thries hadde sche ben at Jerusalem.
Sche hadde passed many a straunge streem.
At Rome sche hadde ben, and at Boloyne.
In Galice at seynt Jame, and at Coloyne."
The Virgin Mary was the patroness of the town of Boulogne in a very singular manner, it being holden immediately of her: "For when King Lewis II., after the decease of Charles of Burgundy, had taken in Boulogne, anno 1477, as new Lord of the town (thus John de Serres relateth it), he did homage without sword or spurs bareheaded, and on his knee, before the Virgin Mary, offering unto her image an heart of massie gold, weighing 2000 crowns. He added also this, that he and his successors, kings after him, should hold the county of Boulogne of the said Virgin, and do homage unto her image in the great church of the higher town dedicated to her name, paying at every change of a vassal an heart of pure gold of the same weight."—Heylin's "Survey of France," 1656, p. 193.
[224] The three kings of Cologne are supposed to have been the wise men who travelled unto our Saviour by the direction of the star. To these kings several writers have given the names of Gaspar, Melchior, and Balthazar; but Sir Thomas Browne, in his "Vulgar Errors," has a whole chapter concerning them, in which he doubts all the principal facts in the account of them. See B. vii., c. 8. The celebrated Thomas Coryat, when at Cologne, took some pains to collect many circumstances relative to these kings, with which he hath filled several pages of his book; and to which those who are desirous of further information on the subject must be referred.
[225] Two.
[226] A crowd is a small fiddle. Hence the name of Crowdero, in Hudibras. Crowded means—made a musical noise.—S.
[227] This oath occurs again, act v., sc. 2—
"Yet shall ye find no other wight save she, by bread and salt."
From the following passage, in Nash's "Lenten Stuff," 1599, it may be inferred that it was once customary to eat bread and salt previous to the taking an oath: "Venus, for Hero was her Priest, and Juno Lucina the Midwife's Goddess, for she was now quickened, and cast away by the cruelty of Æolus, took bread and salt, and eat it, that they would be smartly revenged on that truculent, windy jailor," &c.
[228] [Brat.]
[229] Counsel or advice. So in act iv., sc. 2—
"Therefore I reed you three, go hence and within keep close."
Again—
"Well, if ye will be ordered and do by my reed."
Again, act v., sc. 2—
"And where ye sat, he said full certain, if I would follow his reed."
Again, in Erasmus's "Praise of Folie," by Chaloner, sig. D 3: "Vnles perchaunce some would chuse suche a souldiour as was Demosthenes, who folowying Archilocus the poetes rede, scarse lookynge his enemies in the face, threw downe his shelde and ranne awaie, as cowardly a warriour as he was a wyse oratour."
The old version of the singing Psalms also begins in this manner—
"The man is blest that hath not bent
To wicked rede his ear."
[230] i.e., Gladly know. So in Shakpeare's "Antony and Cleopatra," act i., sc. 1—
"In which I bind,
On pain of punishment, the world to weete,
We stand up peerless."
The [form] weet is also used by Spenser and Fairfax.
[231] In the ancient moralities, and in many of the earliest entertainments of the stage, the devil is introduced as a character, and it appears to have been customary to bring him before the audience with this cry of ho, ho, ho. See particularly the "Devil is an Ass," by Ben Jonson, act. i., sc. 1. From the following passages in "Wily Beguiled," 1606, we learn the manner in which the character used to be dressed:—"Tush! fear not the dodge: I'll rather put on my flashing red nose and my flaming face, and come wrapp'd in a calf's skin, and cry, ho, ho," &c. Again, "I'll put me on my great carnation nose, and wrap me in a rowsing calf's skin suit, and come like some hobgoblin, or some devil ascended from the grisly pit of hell; and like a scarbabe make him take his legs: I'll play the devil, I warrant ye."
[232] To palter is, as Dr Johnson explains it, to shuffle with ambiguous expressions. Thus—
"And be these juggling fiends no more believ'd,
That palter with us in a double sense."
—Macbeth, act v., sc. 8.
In confirmation of Dr Johnson's explanation, Mr Steevens produces the following instances:—
"Now fortune, frown, and palter, if thou please."
—Marius and Sylla, 1594.
"Romans that have spoke the word,
And will not palter."
—Englishmen for my Money, c. 3.—O. G.
[233] I suppose he means to say a little room; and therefore retires till Gammer Gurton has uttered her complaint—S.
[234] I imagine this word was formerly used to signify sharp. So in "The Woman's Prize," by Beaumont and Fletcher, act ii., sc. 4—
"They heave ye stool on stool, and fling [a-]main pot-lids
Like massy rocks dart ladles, tossing irons
And tongs like thunder-bolts, till overlaid
They fall beneath the weight."
[Dyce's B. and F. vii., 140.]
[235] The ancient spurs were fixed into straps of leather. Spurriers, of course, would be obliged to use very strong needles.—S.
[236] Who was it, dear son? So in the ballad-poem of "Adam Bell," &c.—
"Ye myght have asked towres and towne,
Parkes and forestes plentie,
None so pleasaunt to my pay, she said;
Nor none so lefe to me."
[—Hazlitt's Popular Poetry, ii. 160.]
[237] Our, first edition.
[238] "As brisk as a body-louse was formerly proverbial." See Ray's "Proverbs," 1742, p. 219.
[239] "Callet, a lewd woman, a drab." [See Nares, edit. 1859, p. 128.] So in the "Supposes," by Geo. Gascoigne, act v., sc. 6: "Come hither, you old kallat, you tatling huswife: that the deuill cut oute your tong."
Again, in Jonson's "Fox," act iv., sc. 3—
"Why, the callet
You told me of here I have ta'en disguis'd."
Callett is elsewhere used for stupid, inactive—
"Bid maudlin lay the cloth, take up the meat;
Look how she stirres; you sullen elfe, you callett,
Is this the haste you make?"
—Englishmen for my Money, 1631.—O. G.
See other instances in Dr Grey's "Notes on Shakspeare," vol. ii., p. 41.
[240] Slygh.—First edition.
[241] Slepe not you gere.—First edition.
[242] Pebble-stones. A cobble in the north signifies a pebble. To cobble is to throw stones. See Ray.—S.
[243] By nature.—S.
[244] This passage evidently shows that music playing between the acts was introduced in the earliest of our dramatic entertainments.
[245] [Altered by Dodsley. Old edition has thing.]
[246] Curtal is a small horse; properly one who hath his tail docked or curtailed. So, in Dekker's "Villanies discovered by Lanthorne and Candlelight," &c., 1620, sig. H.: "He could shewe more crafty foxes in this wild goose chase, then there are white foxes in Russia; and more strange horse-trickes plaide by such riders, then Bankes his curtal did ever practise (whose gambals of the two were the honester)."
[247] A naval phrase. The gib is the gib-sail. To set a sail, is also the technical term.—S.
[248] [Abominable.]
[249] Friar Rush is mentioned in Reginald Scot's "Discoverie of Witchcraft," 1584, p. 522: "Frier Rush was for all the world such another fellow as this Hudgin, and brought up even in the same schoole; to wit, in a kitchen: insomuch as the selfsame tale is written of the one as of the other concerning the skullian, which is said to have been slaine, &c. For the reading whereof I referre you to Frier Rush his storie, or else to John Wierus 'De præstigiis demonum.'"
[250] Old copy, no.
[251] Old copy, on.
[252] Gabriel Harvey, in his "Pierces Supererogation," 1593, speaking of Long Meg of Westminster, says: "Although she were a lusty, bouncing rampe, somewhat like Gallimetta or maid Marian, yet was she not such a roinish rannel, such a dissolute flirt gillian," &c.
[253] Thou strumpet. See Note on "Antony and Cleopatra," Shakspeare, 1778, vol. viii., p. 175.—S.
So in Davies's "Scourge of Polly" [1611]—
"Or wanton Rigg, or letcher dissolute,
Do stand at Powles Crosse in a sheeten sute."—Reed.
[254] The accoutrements of an itinerant trull.—S.
[255] Thinkest or imaginest.
[256] Cut appears to have been an opprobrious term used by the vulgar when they scolded or abused each other. It occurs again, act v., sc. 2: "That lying cut is lost, that she is not swinged and beaten."
A horse is sometimes called Cut in our ancient writers, as in the "First Part of Henry IV.," act ii., sc. 1., and Falstaff says: "If I tell thee a lye, spit in my face, and call me horse." Cut is therefore probably used in the same sense as horse, to which it seems to have been synonymous. Several instances of the use of this term are collected by Mr Steevens, in his edition of Shakspeare; see vol. iv., p. 202.
It appears probable to me that the opprobrious epithet Cut arose from the practice of cutting the hair of convicted thieves; which was anciently the custom in England, as appears from the edicts of John de Northampton against adulterers, who thought, with Paulo Migante, that
"England ne'er would thrive,
Till all the whores were burnt alive."
—See Holinshed, vol. 9., 754, Ed. 1807.—O. G.
[257] [Thee is not in the old copy.]
[258] i.e., Rat. So in one of the Chester Whitsun plays—
"Here is a rotten, there a mouse."—S.
[259] Not thy equal, but thy mistress.
[260] i.e., Rank strumpet from the stews.—S.
[261] Fygh—First edition.
[262] i.e., Hodmandod.—S.
I find this word used in Nash's "Anatomie of Absurditie," 1589, sig. B., where it seems intended as synonymous to cuckold: "But women, through want of wisedome, are growne to such wantonesse, that uppon no occasion they will crosse the streete, to have a glaunce of some gallant, deeming that men by one looke of them shoulde be in love with them, and will not stick to make an errant over the way, to purchase a paramour to help at a pinche, who, under hur husbands, that hoddy peekes nose, must have all the destilling dew of his delicate rose, leaving him onely a sweet sent, good inough for such a sencelesse sotte."
[263] A losel is a worthless fellow. It is a term of contempt frequently used by Spenser. It is likewise to be met with in the "Death of Robert, Earl of Huntington," 1601:
"To have the lozels company."
Again, in "The Pinner of Wakefield," 1599:
"Peace, prating lozel," &c.
See Mr Steevens's "Notes on Shakspeare," vol. iv., p. 337. Again, in Hall's "Satires," edit. 1753, p. 78—
"How his enraged ghost would stamp and stare,
That Cæsar's throne is turn'd to Peter chayre,
To see an old shorne lozel perched high,
Crossing beneath a golden canopy."
See Holinshed's "Chron.," edit. 1577, vol. ii., p. 740 ("Five Days' Pastime," p. 67); "Englishmen for my Money," p. 42; Holinshed, vol. v., p. 208.—O. G.
[264] Confess.
[265] Gammer in the first edition.
[266] Hodge in the first edition.
[267] i.e., Sulky, gloomy looks. It is still said, in vulgar language, that a discontented person looks glum.—S.
[268] This line is given to Gammer Gurton in the first edition.
[269] Old copy, let.
[270] That is, appear so mad. To doat and to be mad were used as synonymous terms. See Baret's "Alvearie," v. Dote.
[271] Old copy has Tyb.
[272] Fetched. So, in "Cynthia's Revels," act i., sc. 2: "Nay, the other is better, exceeds it much: the invention is farther fet too."
Again, in Ascham's "Toxophilus," p. 15: "And therefore agaynst a desperate evill began to seeke for a desperate remedie, which was fet from Rome, a shop alwayes open to any mischief, as you shall perceive in these few leaves, if you marke them well."
Again, in Lyly's "Euphues," p. 33: "That far fet and deere bought, is good for ladies."
[273] A proverbial expression used by Ben Jonson in his "Magnetic Lady," and by Shakspeare in "The Two Gentlemen of Verona." See Mr Steevens's Note on the latter, and [Hazlitt's "Proverbs," 1869, p. 127.] It is also to be found in Nash's "Lenten Stuff," 1599.
[274] In Shakspeare's "Hamlet," Ophelia sings a song, in which this adjuration is used—
"By gys and by Saint Charity."
And it is also to be found in Gascoigne's Poems, in Preston's "Cambyses," and in the comedy of "See me and see me not," 1618—
"By gisse I swear, were I so fairly wed," &c.
Mr Steevens's note on "Hamlet," in which Mr Steevens observes, that Saint Charity is a known saint among the Roman Catholics. Spenser mentions her ("Eclog," v., 255):—
"Ah dear Lord and sweet Saint Charity!"
Again, in "The Downfall of Robert, Earl of Huntington," 1601—
"Therefore, sweet master, for Saint Charity."
—Note on Hamlet, act iv., sc. 5.
[Dr Bailey supposes, which is very probable, that this abbreviated or corrupt form of Jesus arose from] the letters I H S being anciently all that was set down to denote that sacred name on altars, the covers of books, &c.
It occurs also in the following passage of Erasmus's "Praise of Folie," by Chaloner, 1549:—"Lyke as many great lordes there be who set so muche by theim, as scant they can eate theyr meate, or byde a minute without theim, cherisshyng them (by iysse) a little better than thei are wont to dooe these frounyng philosophers," &c. Sig. G 2.
Again, in "Euphues and his England," 1582, p. 5:—"Unto whome he replyed, shoaring up his eyes, 'by Jis,' soune, I accompt the cheere good which mainteineth health, and the servauntes honest whome I finde faythfull."
[275] i.e., she went.
"For all i-yede out at one ere,
That in that other she did lere."
—Romaunt of the Rose.
The word is also used by Spenser and Fairfax.
[276] [See a note supra.]
[277] Baret, in his "Alvearie," explains rave, "to talke like a madde bodie."
[278] I refuse, deny the charge.
[279] [Among the honest sort?]
[280] [Original, sooner.]
[281] [This should form the commencement of a new scene, but it is not so marked.]
[282] So the edition of 1575. See note, supra.
[283] [Ado. See Nares, edit. 1859, p. 576.]
[284] Reward. It is a word used by Spenser, Shakspeare, and the chief of our ancient writers.
[285] At the back of her house.
[286] God's, not the boy Cock's.
[287] Orig. you would.
[288] Orig. you.
[289] [Orig. of.]
[290] Orig. kockes.
[291] Original, you.
[292] [Beaten. Here was a note of half a page to explain and illustrate the meaning of the very common word wot!]
[293] Poultry. So in Fitzherbert's "Boke of Husbandry": "Gyve thy poleyn—meate in the morning," &c. Again, in "Your five Gallants," by Middleton: "And to see how pitifully the pullen will looke, it makes me after relent, and turne my anger into a quick fire to roast them."
[294] A base, contemptible fellow. So, in "Tom Tyler and his Wife," 1661, p. 19—
"It is an old saying, praise at the parting,
I think I have made the cullion to wring.
I was not beaten so black and blew,
But I am sure he has as many new."
In "Wily Beguiled:" "But to say the truth, she had little reason to take a cullion lug loaf, milksop slave, when she may have a lawyer, a gentleman that stands upon his reputation in the country;" in Massinger's "Guardian," act. ii., sc. 4—
"Love live Severino,
And perish all such cullions as repine
At his new monarchy."
And Bobadil, in Ben Jonson's "Every Man to his Humour," act. iii., sc. 5, when beating Cob, exclaims:
"You base cullion, you."
[295] [Original, Dylde; the compositor having repeated the d of God at the beginning of the following word. This is not an uncommon misprint.]
[296] Hals, in the Glossary to Douglas's Æneid, is thus explained: "The hawse, the throat, or neck. A-S. and Isl. Hals, collum, thence, to hals or hawse, to embrace, collo dare brachia circum."
[297] The word shrew at present is wholly confined to the female sex. It here appears to have been equally applied to the male, and signifies naught or wicked. See Baret's "Alvearie," v. Shrewd.
[298] [Crushed.]
[299] The head. So, in "Hickscorner"—
"I will rap you on the costard with my horn."
—Mr Steevens's Note on Love's Labour's Lost, act iii., sc. 1.
Again, in Ben Jonson's "Tale of a Tub," act ii., sc. 2—
"Do you mutter! sir, snorle this way,
That I may hear and answer what you say,
With my school dagger 'bout your costard, sir."
[300] See Note on "King Henry VI.," Part I. Shakspeare, 1778, vol. vi., p. 192.—S.
[301] Bliss.
[302] A corruption of what do you call it.—S.
[303] A proverbial phrase, used also by Dogberry in "Much ado about Nothing." Shakspeare, 1778, vol. ii., p. 326.—S.
[304] Jape is generally used in an obscene sense, as in the Prologue to "Grim the Collier of Croydon," and in Skelton's Song in Sir John Hawkins's "History of Music," vol. iii., p. 6. It here signifies a jest or joke. So in the Prologue to Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales," l. 705—
"Upon a day he gat him more moneie
Than that the persone gat in monthes tweie.
And thus with fained flattering and japes,
He made the persone and the peple his apes."
And in "Batman upon Bartholome," 1535, as quoted by Sir John Hawkins, in his "History of Music," vol. ii., p. 125: "They kepe no counseyll, but they telle all that they here: sodeinly they laugh, and sodenly they wepe: alwaye they crye, jangle, and jape, uneth they ben stylle whyle they slepe."
"Nay, iape not with hym, he is no smal fole.
It is a solemnpne syre and solayne."
—Skelton's Works, [1843, vol. i., p. 17.]
[305] i.e., To meddle.—S.
[306] Old copy, Scole.
[307] [Parties.]
[308] Minsheu, in his Dictionary, 1627 (as quoted by Mr Tollet, in his "Notes on Shakspeare," vol. v. p. 433, says: "Natural ideots and fools have and still do accustome themselves to weare in their cappes cockes feathers, or a hat with a necke and head of a cock on the top," &c. From this circumstance Diccon probably calls Dr Rat a cox; that is, a coxcomb, an idiot.)
[309] See the "History of Reynard the Fox," chap, vii., edit. 1701.—S.
[310] [Wicked.] Lither is used sometimes for weak or limber, at other times lean or pale. Several examples of the former are collected by Mr Steevens ("Notes on Shakspeare," vol. vi., p. 263).
Again, in "Euphues and his England," 1582, p. 24: "For as they that angle for the tortoys, having once caught him, are driven into such a lythernesse, that they loose all their spirites, being benummed so," &c. Of the latter, the following will serve as a proof (Erasmus's "Praise of Folie," Chaloner's translation, 1549, sig. F 2): "Or at lest hyre some younge Phaon for mede to dooe the thyng, still daube theyr lither chekes with peintyng," &c.
[311] [An apparent reference to the story told in one of the early jest-books of a fellow who was led to execution, and who, when on the gallows, instead of a neck-verse, cried out, "Have at you daisy that grows yonder!" and leapt off the ladder. See "Pasquil's Jests," 1604, repr. Hazlitt, p. 48.]
[312] For the love of God, of heaven, or anything sacred, are adjurations frequently used at this day, and appear likewise to have been so at the time this play was written. From the indiscriminate use of them, it became customary on very earnest occasions to request of all loves, or for all the loves on earth. Of these modes of expression, Mr Steevens hath produced the following examples: "Conjuring his wife of all loves to prepare cheer fitting."—"Honest Whore," part 1.
"Desire him of all loves to come over quickly."
—Plautus's Menæchmi, 1595.
"I pray thee for all loves be thou my mynde sens I am thyne."
—Acolastus, 1540.
"Mrs Arden desired him of all loves to come back againe."—Holinshed's Chronicle, p. 1064.—"Notes on Shakspeare," vol. i., p. 279.
Again—
"Speak of all loves."
—Midsummer Night's Dream, act. ii., sc. 3.
[313] Securely or certainly. So in Chaucer's "Troilus and Cressida," Book iii., l. 833—
"The drede of lesing makith him, that he
May in no parfite sikernesse ybe."
[314] [To the former edition. Printed for the Percy Society, 1849.]
[315] These have all been adopted in the present reprint. The variations exhibited in the Percy Society's text should be rather called mistakes of the transcriber, and two whole lines were omitted.
[316] The Museum copy has a woodcut on the back of the title-page, which is wanting in the other copy, a circumstance which appears to confirm this opinion.
[317] [Probably for the sake of the rhyme, instead of entendu, understood.]
[318] [Following.]
[319] [i.e., God's wounds and hearts; the orig. has hartes.]
[320] [Intend.]
[321] [Conquer.]
[322] [Samians.]
[323] [Original has Crassus.]
[324] [In the original the hemistich, She is called Treasure, is assigned to Inclination.]
[325] This speech is not assigned to Inclination in the original.—Halliwell (Additional Notes).
[326] [Original has proceed.]
[327] [Intention.]
[328] [Seriousness.]
[329] [Suspicious.]
[330] [Nearer.]
[331] [In the old copy, aloof of.]
[332] ["A dwarfe, dandiprat, little-skipjacke."—Cotgrave.]
[333] [Can or con thee thank, give thee thanks—a common expression.]
[334] [Nature.]
[335] [Fault.]
[336] [A tolerably early example of the use of this saying, which may have taken its rise from the custom of having a pudding as the first dish on the table, and may consequently be equivalent to betimes.]
[337] [Clownish or rude, like a cobbler, from souter, a cobbler.]
[338] [A word of somewhat uncertain meaning and of obscure origin. See Halliwell v. Liripoops.]
[339] [This is an allusion worth noting; the editor does not recollect to have met with it before.]
[340] [The two places chiefly used for executions, after the discontinuance of the Elms in Smithfield.]
[341] [The leathern drinking vessel, generally called a jack.]
[342] [The Flemings or Dutch (for the two seem to have been pretty generally confounded) had a great reputation here, like the Danes afterwards, for habits of excessive drinking.]
[343] [Salisbury plain was formerly one of the resorts of foot-pads, who infested the place in small bodies, and waylaid travellers.]
[344] [The entrances and exits in this piece are so imperfectly marked, that it is often difficult to be sure about them. It seems to be Tom Tosspot who goes out now; but if so, he soon returns, though his re-entry is not recorded.]
[345] [Drink.]
[346] [Tom seems to have gone out and returned, as observed above.]
[347] A term of endearment. A commoner form is white boy.
[348] [Nichol had previously addressed the Collier as Master Lick-hole; but as the Collier is not on the stage, it is clear that he here applies the same bye-name, rhythmi causâ, to Hance.]
[349] [The gallows.]
[350] [The song is divided between the three, each singing two lines, and the division is marked; but the name of the singer in each case is not given.]
[351] [To bring a noble to nine-pence, was a proverbial expression for the idle dissipation of money.]
[352] [It appears from what is afterwards said in the piece, that they do not see Newfangle, who has probably retired to the back of the stage.]
[353] [Five and Six, a game at cards or dice.]
[354] [i.e., Destitute of money.]
[355] [The 4to of 1587 reads, thou shall have.]
[356] [The 4to of 1568 has way.]
[357] [The 4to of 1568 has the every.]
[358] [Nearer.]
[359] [The 4to of 1568 has, as before, the every.]
[360] [Leash.]
[361] This song is divided by a paragraph-mark between Virtuous Life and the other speakers; but the names are not given, and the mode of distribution is consequently uncertain.
Transcriber notes:
Added a Table of Contents with links.
P.60. 'Royster.' needs to be 'Roister.', changed.
P.76. 'Alfyace.' needs to be 'Alyface.', changed.
P.144. 'Royster' needs to be 'Roister' changed.
P.266. 'sprit' needs to be 'spirit', changed.
Fixed various punctuation.