THE CONTENTION BETWEEN LIBERALITY AND PRODIGALITY.
SCENE I.
Enter VANITY solus, all in feathers.
In words to make description of my name,
My nature or conditions, were but vain;
Sith this attire so plainly shows the same,
As showed cannot be in words more plain.
For lo, thus roundabout in feathers dight,
Doth plainly figure mine inconstancy:
As feathers, light of mind; of wit as light,
Subjected still to mutability,
And for to paint me forth more properly,
Behold each feather decked gorgeously
With colours strange in such variety,
As plainly pictures perfect vanity.
And so I am, to put you out of doubt,
Even vanity wholly; within, without:
In head, in heart: in all parts roundabout:
But whence I come, and why I hither come,
And upon whom I daily do attend,
In brief, to show you in a little sum,
My special meaning is, and so an end.
I came from Fortune, my most sovereign dame,
Amongst whose chiefest servants I am one:
Fortune, that earthly goddess great of name,
To whom all suits I do prefer alone.
She, minding in this place forthwith t'appear,
In her most gorgeous pomp and princely port,
Sends me to see all things in presence here,
Prepar'd and furnish'd in the bravest sort.
Here will she mount this stately sumptuous throne,
As she is wont to hear each man's desire:
And whoso wins her favour by his moan,
May have of her the thing he doth require.
And yet another dame there is, her enemy,
'Twixt whom remains continual emulation:
Virtue who, in respect of Fortune's sovereignty,
Is held, God wot, of simple reputation;
Yet hither comes (poor soul) in her degree,
This other seat half-forced to supply:
But 'twixt their state what difference will be,
Yourselves shall judge and witness, when you see.
Therefore I must go deck up handsomely,
What best beseems Dame Fortune's dignity.
[Exit.
SCENE II.
Enter PRODIGALITY, POSTILION, and HOST.
PROD. Postilion, stay, thou drugg'st on like an ass.
Lo, here's an inn, which I cannot well pass:
Here will we bait, and rest ourselves awhile.
POST. Why, sir, you have to go but six small mile;
The way is fair, the moon shines very bright.
Best now go on, and then rest for all night.
PROD. Tush, Postil, fair or foul, or far or near,
My weary bones must needs be rested here.
POST. 'Tis but a paltry inn, there's no good cheer;
Yet shall you pay for all things passing dear.
PROD. I care not for all that: I love mine ease.
POST. Well, sir, a God's name, then do what you please.
PROD. Knock, then, at the gate.
POST. Ho, who's at home? hostler, chamberlain, tapster?
Ho! take in gentlemen. Knave, slave, host, hostess, ho!
[Rip, rap, rip, rap.
What, is there none that answers? Tout a la mort?
Sir, you must make entrance at some other port:
For here's no passage.
PROD. No? let me come; I'll knock a little harder. Here must I in; for sure I will no farder. [Rip, rap, rap, rap. Ho! who dwells here? [Rip, rap, rap]. I'll call on the women another while. Ho! butter-wench, dairy-maid, nurse, laundress, cook, host, hostess, anybody, ho!
HOST. Who's there?
PROD. Up, sir, with a horse night-cap! what, are ye all in a drunken dream! can ye not hear?
POST. Not a word more! he is fast asleep again,
I fear. What, ho?
HOST. How now?
PROD. How now? now the devil take thee!
Can calling, nor knocking, nor nothing, awake thee?
HOST. Now, sir, what lack ye?
PROD. Lodging.
HOST. What are you?
PROD. Gentlemen. Seest thou not?
HOST. Whence come ye?
PROD. What skills that? open the gate.
HOST. Nay, soft a while, I am not wont so late
To take in guests. I like ye not: away.
PROD. Nay, stay awhile, mine host; I pray thee, stay,
Open the gate, I pray thee heartily,
And what we take we will pay thee royally.
HOST. And would ye have lodging then?
PROD. Yea, rather than my life.
HOST. Then stay a while; I'll first go ask my wife.
PROD. Nay, nay, send her rather to me:
If she be a pretty wench, we shall soon agree.
POST. Now a bots[381] on him and his wife both for me! [Aside.
HOST. Then you would have lodgings belike, sir?
PROD. Yea, I pray thee come quickly.
HOST. What's your name, and please you?
PROD. Prodigality.
HOST. And will you indeed spend lustily?
PROD. Yea, that I will.
HOST. And take that ye find patiently?
PROD. What else?
HOST. And pay what I ask willingly?
PROD. Yea, all reckonings unreasonably.
HOST. Well, go too; for this once I am content to receive ye: come on, sir, I daresay you are almost weary.
PROP. Thou may'st swear it.
[Exeunt.
SCENE III.
Enter VIRTUE and EQUITY.
VIR. O most unhappy state of reckless humane kind!
O dangerous race of man, unwitty, fond and blind!
O wretched worldlings, subject to all misery,
When fortune is the prop of your prosperity!
Can you so soon forget, that you have learn'd of yore
The grave divine precepts, the sacred wholesome lore,
That wise philosophers with painful industry
Have[382] written and pronounc'd for man's felicity?
Whilome [it] hath been taught, that Fortune's hold is tickle;
She bears a double face, disguised, false and fickle,
Full fraughted with all sleights, she playeth on the pack;
On whom she smileth most, she turneth most to wrack.
The time hath been, when Virtue had[383] the sovereignty
Of greatest price, and plac'd in chiefest dignity;
But topsy-turvy now the world is turn'd about:
Proud Fortune is preferr'd, poor Virtue clean thrust out.
Man's sense so dulled is, so all things come to pass,
Above the massy gold t'esteem the brittle glass.
EQ. Madam, have patience, Dame Virtue must sustain,
Until the heavenly powers do otherwise ordain.
VIR. Equity, for my part, I envy not her state,
Nor yet mislike the meanness of my simple rate.
But what the heavens assign, that do I still think best:
My fame was never yet by Fortune's frown opprest:
Here, therefore, will I rest in this my homely bower,
With patience to abide the storms of every shower.
[Exeunt.
SCENE IV.
Enter TENACITY and VANITY [severally, and not seeing each other at first.[384]
TEN. By Gog's bores, these old stumps are stark tired.
Chave here roundabout for life conquired,
Where any posting nags were to be hired,
And can get none, would they were all vired![385]
Cham come too late for Money, I hold a penny,
Suitors to Fortune there are so many;
And all for Money, chill gage a round sum:
Money is gone, before Tenacity come.
Then am I dress'd even to my utter shame:
A fool return'd, like as a fool I came.
Cham sure chave come vorty miles and twenty,
With all these bags you see and wallets empty:
But when chave sued to Vortune vine and dainty,
Ich hope to vill them up with money plenty:
But here is one, of whom ich will conquire,
Whilk way che might attain to my desire.
God speed, my zon.
VAN. What, father Crust, whither post you so fast?
TEN. Nay, bur lady, zon, ich can make no haste,
Vor che may say to thee, cham tired clean.
VAN. More shame for you, to keep your ass so lean!
But whither go you now?
TEN. To a goodly lady, whom they call her Vortune.
VAN. And wherefore?
TEN. For money, zon, but ich vear che come too late.
VAN. Indeed, it seemeth by thy beggar's state,
Thou hast need of money; but let me hear,
How or by whom think'st thou to get this gear?
TEN. Chill speak her vair, chill make low cursy.
VAN. That's somewhat; but how wilt thou come at her?
TEN. Bur lady, zon, zest true; there lies the matter:
Chill make some friend.
VAN. Whom?
TEN. Some man of hers, that near her doth attend.
VAN. Who is that?
TEN. Ich know not; chud that[386] inqueer of thee:
And therefore, if thou knowest, tell it me.
VAN. What, in such haste, forsooth, so suddenly:
And so good cheap, without reward or fee?
TEN. Poor men, dear zon, must crave of courtesy:
Get I once money, thou shalt rewarded be.
VAN. Go to, then, I'll tell thee: his name is Vanity.
TEN. And where is a?
VAN. No more ado: ask but for Vanity.
Reward him well, he'll help thee to money.
TEN. But where?
VAN. Why, here in this place: this is Lady Fortune's palace.
TEN. Is this? Ah, goodly Lord, how gay it is!
Now hope I sure of money not to miss.
So law, my zon, ich will go rest myself a while,
And come again. [Exit.
VAN. Do so. Now sure this coistrel makes me smile,
To see his greedy gaping thus for gain,
First hardly got, then kept with harder pain,
As you ere long by proof shall see full plain.
TEN. This is mine old inn; here chill knock. Holla, ho!
HOST. What roister have we there, that rappeth so?
POST. How now, sirrah, what lack you?
TEN. Lodging.
POST. Lodging? there is none: all is full.
TEN. How so?
POST. Ta'en up by gentlemen long ago.
TEN. Let me yet have some room for mine ass.
POST. Asinus super asinum, volitate ad furtas!
HOST. Who is that thou pratest therewithal?
POST. Look forth and see: a lubber, fat, great and tall,
Upon a tired ass, bare, short and small.
HOST. Ho, ho! 'tis Tenacity, my old acquaintance.
And to my wife of near alliance.
Father Tenacity!
TEN. Mine host, God speed!
How do you? Take in, ostler.
OSTLER. Anon, sir.
HOST. Chamberlain, wait upon my kindred here.
CHAM. I will, sir.
SCENE V.
Enter MONEY and VANITY.
The Song.
MON. As light as a fly,
In pleasant jollity:
With mirth and melody,
Sing Money, Money, Money!
Money the minion, the spring of all joy;
Money, the medicine that heals each annoy;
Money, the jewel that man keeps in store;
Money, the idol that women adore!
That Money am I, the fountain of bliss,
Whereof whoso tasteth, doth never amiss.
Money, money, money!
Sing Money, Money, Money!
VAN. What, Money, sing you so lustily?
MON. I have none other cause: who would not sing merrily,
Being, as I am, in such felicity:
The God of this world, so mighty of power,
As makes men, and mars men, and all in an hour?
Yea, where I am, is all prosperity,
And where I want, is nought but misery.
VAN. Money saith reason; for so doth it fare,
Money makes masteries, old proverbs declare.
But, Money, of Fortune, our sovereign dame,
What news?
MONEY. Marry, sir, of purpose I hither came,
To let thee know she will forthwith be here:
And lo! already, see, she doth appear.
VAN. 'Tis true; now must I show my diligence.
Down, ladies, stoop: do your reverence.
SCENE VI.
Enter FORTUNE, _in her chariot drawn with Kings.
The Song.
Reverence, do reverence; fair dames, do reverence
Unto this goddess great, do humble reverence:
Do humble reverence.
Fortune, of-worldly state the governess:
Fortune, of man's delight the mistress:
Fortune, of earthly bliss the patroness:
Fortune, the spring of joy and happiness.
Lo, this is she, with twinkling of her eye,
That misers[387] can advance to dignity,
And princes turn to misers' misery.
Reverence, due reverence_.
FOR. Report hath spread, that Virtue here in place
Arrived is, her silly court to hold;
And therefore I am come with faster pace,
T'encounter her, whose countenance is so bold.
I doubt not but by this my pompous shew,
By vestures wrought with gold so gorgeously:
By reverence done to me of high and low:
By all these ornaments of bravery,
By this my train, that now attends me so:
By kings, that hale my chariot to and fro,
Fortune is known the queen of all renown:
That makes, that mars; sets up and throws adown.
Well is it known, what contrary effects
'Twixt Fortune and dame Virtue hath been wrought:
How still I her contemn, she me rejects;
I her despise, she setteth me at nought:
So, as great wars are grown for sovereignty,
And strife as great 'twixt us for victory.
Now is the time of trial to be had,
The place appointed eke in presence here.
So as the truth to all sorts, good and bad,
More clear than light shall presently appear.
It shall be seen, what Fortune's power can do,
When Virtue shall be forc'd to yield thereto.
It shall be seen, when Virtue cannot bide,
But shrink for shame, her silly face to hide.
Then Fortune shall advance herself before,
All harms to help, all losses to restore.
But why do I myself thus long restrain
From executing this I do intend?
Time posts away, and words they be but vain;
For deeds (indeed) our quarrel now must end.
Therefore in place I will no longer stay
But to my stately throne myself convey.
Reverence, due reverence, &c.