SCENE II.
Enter Pisaro, Alvaro, Delion, and Vandal.
Pis. A thousand welcomes, friends. Monsieur Delion,
Ten thousand bien-venus unto yourself.
Signor Alvaro, Master Vandal,
Proud am I, that my roof contains such friends.
Why Mall, Laurentia, Mat! Where be these girls?
Enter the three Sisters.
Lively, my girls; and bid these strangers welcome.
They are my friends, your friends, and our well-willers.
You cannot tell what good you may have on them.
Gods me! why stir you not? Hark in your ear:
These be the men, the choice of many millions,
That I, your careful father, have provided
To be your husbands; therefore bid them welcome.
Math. Nay, by my troth, 'tis not the guise of maids
To give a slavering salute to men: [Aside.
If these sweet youths have not the wit to do it,
We have the honesty to let them stand.
Van. Gods sekerlin, dats unfra meskin, Monsieur Delion, dare de grote friester, dare wode ic zene, tis un-fra daughter, dare heb ic so long lovde, dare heb my desire so long gewest.
Alv. Ah! Venice, Roma, Italia, Francia, Angliterra, nor all dis orb can show so much bellezza, veramente de secunda Madonna de grand beauty.
Del. Certes, me dinck de mine depeteta de little Anglois de me maitresse Pisaro is un nette, un becues, un fra, et un tendra demosella.
Pis. What stocks, what stones, what senseless trunks be these!
When as I bid you speak, you hold your tongue.
When I bid peace, then can you prate and chat,
And gossip. But go to, speak and bid welcome,
Or (as I live) you were as good you did.
Mar. I cannot tell what language I should speak:
If I speak English (as I can none other)
They cannot understand me nor my welcome.
Alv. Bella madonna, dere is no language so dolce; dolce, dat is sweet, as de language dat you sal speak, and de velcome dat you sal say, sal be vel perfectamente.
Mar. Pray, sir, what is all this in English?
Alv. De usa sal vel teash you vat dat is; and if you sal please, I will teash you to parlar Italiano.
Pis. And that, methinks, sir, not without need:
And with Italian too a child's obedience,
With such desire to seek to please their parents,
As others far more virtuous than themselves
Do daily strive to do. But 'tis no matter:
I'll shortly pull your haughty stomachs down.
I'll teach you urge your father; make you run
When I bid run, and speak when I bid speak.
What greater cross can careful parents have [Knock within.
Than careless children? Stir, and see who knocks.
Enter Harvey, Walgrave, and Heigham.
Wal. Good morrow to my good Mistress Mathea.
Math. As good a morrow to the morrow-giver.
Pis. A murrain! what make these? what do they here?
Heigh. You see, Master Pisaro, we are bold guests.
You could have bid no surer men than we.
Pis. Hark you, gentlemen; I did expect you
At afternoon, not before two o'clock,
Har. Why, sir, if you please, you shall have us here at two o'clock, at three o'clock, at four o'clock; nay, till to-morrow this time; yet I assure you, sir, we came not to your house without inviting.
Pis. Why, gentlemen, I pray, who bad you now?
Whoever did it, sure, hath done you wrong;
For scarcely could you come to worser cheer.
Heigh. It was your own self bad us to this cheer,
When you were busy with Balsaro talking.
You bad us cease our suits till dinner-time,
And then to use it for our table-talk:
And we, I warrant you, as sure as steel—
Pis. A murrain on yourselves and sureness too!
How am I cross'd! God's me, what shall I do?
This was that ill news of the Spanish pirates,
That so disturb'd me. Well, I must dissemble,
And bid them welcome; but for my daughters,
I'll send them hence; they shall not stand and prate. [Aside.
Well, my masters, gentlemen, and friends,
Though unexpected, yet most heartily welcome—
Welcome with a vengeance [Aside]—but for your cheer,
That will be small: yet too-too much for you.
[Aside.
Mall, in and get things ready. Laurentia,
Bid Maudlin lay the cloth, take up the meat.
Look, how she stirs; you sullen elf, you callet!
Is this the haste you make?
[Exeunt Marina and Laurentia.
Alv. Signor Pisaro, nè soit so malcontento: de gentlewoman your figliola dit parla but a litella to de gentlehomo our grande amico.
Pis. But that grande amico is your grande inimico:
One, if they be suffered to parlar,
Will poll you, ay, and pill you of your wife.
They love together, and the other two
Love her two sisters: but 'tis only you
Shall crop the flower that they esteem so much.
Alv. Do dey so? Vel let me lone, sal see me give dem de such, grand mock, sal be shame of demselves.
Pis. Do, sir,
I pray you do: set lustily upon them,
And I'll be ready still to second you.
Wal. But, Mat, art thou so mad as to turn French?
Math. Yes, marry, when two Sundays come together.
Think you I'll learn to speak this gibberish[504],
Or the pig's language? Why, if I fall sick,
They'll say the French et cœtera infected me.
Pis. Why, how now, minion! what, is this your service?
Your other sisters busy are employ'd,
And you stand idle: get you in, or—
Wal. If you chide her, chide me, Master Pisaro;
For but for me she had gone in long since.
Pis. I think she had; for ye[505] are sprites to scare her;
But, ere't be long, I'll drive that humour from her.
Alv. Signor, me thincks you soud no make de wench so hardy, so disobedient, to de padre as dit madonna Mat.
Wal. Signor, methinks you should learn to speak before you should be so foolhardy, as to woo such a maiden as that Madonna Mat.
Del. Warrant you, monsieur, he sal parle, wen you sal stand out de door.
Har. Hark you, monsieur, you would wish yourself half-hanged, you were as sure to be let in as he.
Van. Mack no doubt, de Signer Alvaro sal do vel enough.
Heigh. Perhaps so; but methinks your best way were to ship yourself for Stoade, and there to barter yourself for a commodity, for I can tell you, you are here out of liking.
Pis. The worst perhaps dislike him, but the best Esteem him best.
Har. But by your patience, sir,
Methinks none should know better who is lord,
Than the lady.
Alv. Den de lady? vat lady?
Har. Marry, sir, the lady Let-her-alone: one that means
To let you alone for fear of trouble.
Pis. Every man as he may: yet sometimes the blind may catch a hare.
Heigh. Ay, sir, but he will first eat many a fly[506]. You know it must be a wonder if a crab catch a fowl.
Van. Maer hort ens; if he and ic and Monsieur Delion be de crab, we sal kash de fowl well genough, I warrant you.
Wal. Ay, and the fowl well enough, I warrant you; and much good may it do ye.
Alv. Me dinck such a picolo man as you be sal have no de such grande luck, ma dere.
Del. Non da monsieur, and he be so granda amorous op de damosella, hec sal have Maudlin, de wit wench in de kichin, by Maitre Pisaro's leave.
Wal. By Master Pisaro's leave, monsieur, I'll mumble you,
Except you learn to know whom you speak to:
I tell thee, François, I'll have (maugre thy teeth)
Her that shall make thee gnash thy teeth to want.
Pis. Yet a man may want of his will, and bate an ace of his wish. But, gentlemen, every man as his luck serves, and so agree we. I would not have you fall out in my house. Come, come, all this was in jest: now let's to't in earnest—I mean with our teeth, and try who's the best trencher-man. [Exeunt.