SCENE II.
Enter two or three, setting three or four chairs and four or five stools. Loud music; in which time enter Sir John Worldly, Sir Innocent, Bellafront, Lucida, Kate, my Lady Ninny, Mistress Wagtail. They seat themselves. Lady Ninny offers at two or three chairs; at last finds the great one; they point at her and laugh. As soon as she is set, she drinks of her bottle. The music plays, and they enter. After one strain of the music, Scudmore takes Bellafront, who seems unwilling to dance. Count takes Lucida; Pendant, Kate; Sir Abraham, Mistress Wagtail: Scudmore, as they stand (the other courting too), whispers as follows:—
Scud. I am your Scudmore.
[Soft music.
Bel. Ha!
Scud. By heaven, I am.
Be rul'd by me in all things.
Bel. Even to death.
Abra. 'Sfoot! Did you not know me by my purse?
Wag. I should ne'er have known you by that, for you wear it on your head, and other folks in their pockets.
L. Nin. Which is my lord, I pray?
Sir J. Wor. The second man:
Young Nevill leads.
Sir Inn And where's Sir Abraham?
Sir J. Wor. He with the terrible visage.
L. Nin. Now, out upon him to disfigure himself so:
And 'twere not for my bottle, I should swoon.
[Music, and they dance the second strain, in which Scudmore goes away with Bellafront.
Omnes Spectatores. Good, very good!
[The other four dance another strain, honourand end.
C. Fred. But where's the bride and Nevill?
Omnes. Ha!
Abra. 'Ware tricks!
Sir J. Wor. O, there they come: it was their parts to do so.
Enter Scudmore unvizarded, Bellafront, with pistols and the right Parson.
C. Fred. This Nevill? This is Scudmore.
Omnes. How?
C. Fred. But here's my lady.
Scud. No, my gentlewoman.
Abra. 'Zoons! treason! I smell powder.
Bel. In short, know,
That I am married to this gentleman,
To whom I was contracted long ago.
This priest the inviolable knot hath tied.
What ease I find being unladified!
[Aside.]
C. Fred. What riddle's this?
Sir Inn. 'Ware the last statute of two husbands.
Scud. and Bel. Pish!
C. Fred. This is the very priest that married me:
Is it not, sister?
Enter Nevill, like the Parson too.
Nev. No.
Abra. Lord bless us! here is conjuring!
Lend me your aqua-vitæ bottle, good mother.
Sir J. Wor. Heyday!
The world's turn'd upside down. I have heard and seen
Two or three benefices to one priest, or more,
But two priests to one benefice ne'er before.
Pen. Married not you the earl?
Par. Bona fide, no.
Sir J. Wor. You did, then?
Nev. Yes.
C. Fred. I have the privilege, then?
Sir J. Wor. Right, you were married first.
Scud. Sir John, you doat,
This is a devil in a parson's coat.
[Nevill puts off the Priest's weeds, and has a
devil's robe under.
Omnes. A pretty emblem!
Nev. Who married her, or would have caus'd her marry,
To any man but this, no better was;
Let circumstances be examined.
Yet here's one more: and now I hope you all
Perceive my marrying not canonical.
[Slips off his devil's weeds.
Omnes. Nevill, whoop!
C. Fred. Heart! what a deal of knavery a priest's cloak can hide. If it be not one of the honestest, friendliest cozenages that 'ere I saw, I am no lord.
Kath. Life! I am not married, then, in earnest.
Nev. So, Mistress Kate, I kept you for myself.
Sir J. Wor. It boots not to be angry.
Sir Inn. and Lady. No, faith, Sir John.
Enter Strange, with Pouts on his back.
2d. Ser. Whither will you go with your calf on your back, sir?
Sir J. Wor. Now, more knavery yet?
Strange. Prythee, forbear, or I shall do thee mischief.
By your leave, here is some sad to your merriment.
Know you this captain?
Omnes. Yes, very well.
Kath. O sister, here's the villain slander'd me.
Strange. You see he cannot stand to't.
Abra. Is he hurt in the arm, too?
Strange. Yes.
Abra. Why, then, by God's-lid, thou art a base rogue. I knew I should live to tell thee so.
L. Nin. Sir Abraham, I say!
Omnes. Heaven is just.
Capt. Pouts. What a rogue are you!
Is this the surgeon you would carry me to?
Strange. Confess your slander, and I will, I swear.
Capt. Pouts. Nay, 'tis no matter, I'll cry quittance with you.
Forgive me, Mistress Kate, and know, all people,
I lied not with her, but belied her once;
And to my recantation that same soldier
Enforc'd my hand.
Strange. Yes, here 'tis, Mistress Kate.
[They all look on the paper.
Capt. Pouts. I see now how I am cheated. Love him well.
He has redeem'd your honour with his sword.
Sir J. Wor. But where is Strange my son? O, were he here,
He should be married new to make all sure.
Kath. O my divining spirit, he's gone to sea!
Capt. Pouts. This cunning in her is exceeding good.
Your son—your husband Strange is murdered.
Omnes. How?
Strange. Peace, peace! For heaven's sake, peace!
Come, sir, I'll carry you to a surgeon.
Here's gold to stop thy throat. For God's sake, peace!
Capt. Pouts. Sirrah, you have brought me to a surgeon already:
I'll be even with you.
Kath. Of all men living I could marry thee,
Were not my heart given to another man.
Sir, you did speak of Strange?
Capt. Pouts. These women are as crafty as the devil.
Yes, I did speak of him: Sir John, my lord,
Know Strange is murder'd by that villain's hand,
And by his wife's consent.
Omnes. How?
Sir J. Wor. God forbid!
Capt. Pouts. Search presently the closet and the vault,
There you shall find his body: 'tis too true.
The reason all may guess: her husband, wanting
Spirit to do on me what he hath done,
In hope to marry her, he hath murder'd him.
Kath. To marry me! No, villain: I do hate him
On this report worse than I do thyself;
And may the plagues and tortures of a land
Seize me if this be not an innocent hand.
Sir J. Wor. 'Fore God, 'tis most like truth.
Son Scudmore, pray
Look to this fellow: gentlemen, assist.
Torches! some torches! I'll go search myself.
Sir Inn. I will assist you.
C. Fred. But I pray, sir, how came you unto this knowledge?
Capt. Pouts. From his mouth.
Strange. I'll save your labour, and discover all.
Thou perjur'd villain, didst not swear thou wouldst not
Discover me?
Capt. Pouts. I but swore in jest.
Strange. Nay, but remember, thou didst wish Strange living,
If ever thou didst tell.
Capt. Pouts. Sir, all is true,[64]
And would my punishment would ease my conscience.
Sir J. Wor. To Newgate with him! hence! take her along.
Out, murderers! whore, thou art no child of mine!
Fetch constable and officers. Away!
Strange. Sir, do but hear me speak.
Sir J. Wor. Fetch officers!
Capt. Pouts. Go fetch a surgeon.
Strange. Sir, you are then too violent. I will bail her.
[Discovers himself.
Kath. O my dear Strange!
Sir J. Wor. My son!
Scud., Luc., Bel. Brother!
Omnes. Young Strange!
Capt. Pouts. Heart! I was never sick before: help me now to a surgeon, or I shall swoon instantly.
[As two lead him, he speaks.
Thou wert born a woman-citizen; fare thee well.
And farewell, love and women, ye diseases:
My horse and sword shall be my mistresses,
My horse I'll court, my sword shall lie with me.
[Exit.
Strange. The way to cure lust is to bleed, I see.
C. Fred. Tell him all, Scudmore, whilst I go a-wooing again. Sir John, will you go along, and my two worshipful elders, I pray, be your witnesses. Priest, go not you away. Heart! I have so ruminated on a wife, that I must have one this night, or I shall run proud.[65]
[Nevill, Scudmore, Bellafront, Strange, Katherine, whisper in one part. Pendant, Sir Abraham, and Wagtail in another.
Mistress Lucida, you did once love me; if you do still, no more words, but give me your hand. Why are ye doubtful?
Abra. Ne'er look upon me, Mistress Lucida; time was, time is, and time's pass'd. I'll none of you now: I am otherwise provided.
Pen. Well spoken, brazen-head![66] now or never, Sir Abraham.
Abra. Then first, as duty binds, I crave consent
Of my two parents dear: if ay, say so;
If not, I'll ha' her, whether you will or no.
Sir Inn. How? how?
L. Nin. I hope you will not.
Abra. Ma'am, I am resolved: you have a humour of your aqua-vitæ bottle, why should not I have a humour in a wife?
Sir J. Wor. An old man were a fitter match for her:
He would make much of her.
Abra. Much on her? I know not what ye call much making on her, I am sure I have made two on her.
Pen. And that an old man cannot do, I hope.
Nev. O thou beyond Lawrence of Lancashire.[67]
Sir Inn. Come, come, you shall not.
Abra. Speak not in vain; I am too sure to change,
For hand and heart are sure: Ecce signum.
And this have I done, and never lay with her.
Sir J. Wor. Nay, then, 'tis too late;
'Tis sure: 'tis vain to cross the will of fate.
Sir Inn. and LADY. Well, well, God bless you.
[Abraham and Wagtail kneel.
Abra. Thanks, reverend couple, and God bless withal
The little Ninny that herein doth sprawl.
Parson, you shall despatch us presently:
Lord, how soberly you stand!
Par. Now truly I could ne'er stand drunk in my life.
Strange. Strange and most fortunate, we must have a new Tuck then.
C. Fred. Is it a match?
Luc. 'Tis done.
C. Fred. Then Bacchus squeeze grapes with a plenteous hand.
Parson, you'll take some pains with us to-night.
Come, brothers, come: fly, willow, to the woods,
And, like the sea, for healths let's drink whole floods.
Strange. I consecrate my deed unto the city,
And hope to live myself to see the day,
It shall be shown to people in a play.
Scud. And may all true love have like happy end.
Women, forgive me; men, admire my friend.
Sir J. Wor. On, parson, on; and, boy, outvoice the music.[68]
Ne'er was so much (what cannot heavenly powers?)
Done and undone, and done in twelve short hours,
[Exeunt.
[AMENDS FOR LADIES.]
EDITIONS.
Amends for Ladies. A Comedie. As it was acted at the Blacke-Fryers, both by the Princes Servants, and the Lady Elizabeths. By Nat. Field. London: Printed by G. Eld, for Math. Walbancke, and are to be sold at his Shop at the new Gate of Grayes Inne, or at the old. 1618. 4o.
Amends for Ladies. With the merry prankes of Moll Cutpurse, Or, the humour of roaring: A Comedy full of honest mirth and wit. As it was Acted at the Blacke-Fryers both by the Princes Servants and the Lady Elizabeths. By Nath. Field. London, Printed by Io. Okes, for Math. Walbancke, and are to be sold at his Shop at Grayes-Inne Gate. 1639. 4o.
[INTRODUCTION.]
This excellent old comedy seems to have been deservedly popular on its performance by two different companies at the Black Friars Theatre before 1618, and it was twice printed. It is not easy to decide whether the comic or the serious scenes are the best; although the first are not without some of the coarseness which belonged to the manners of the age. The language is generally well-chosen. Some passages are of the higher order of poetry, and from them we may judge that Field was capable of writing other parts of "The Fatal Dowry" than those which Mr Gifford, in his just admiration of Massinger, was willing to assign to him. The characters are numerous, varied, and well-distinguished.
The object of the play was to vindicate the female sex, attacked in "Woman is a Weathercock;" and it is accomplished amply and happily in the persons of the Maid, Wife, and Widow. The plot is threefold, applying to each of them, but the incidents are interwoven with ingenuity, and concluded without confusion. In several of our old plays, husbands become, or endeavour to become, the instruments of the dishonour of their wives. Middleton was too fond of incidents of this odious kind, which are to be found in his "Chaste Maid in Cheapside," 1630, and in "Anything for a Quiet Life," 1662;[69] but in both cases the purpose of the husband was to profit by his own disgrace. In Field's "Amends for Ladies," the husband only resorts to this expedient to put his wife's fidelity to the test. This portion of the play was borrowed, in several of its preliminary circumstances, from the novel of the "Curioso Impertinente" in "Don Quixote;" but it would not have accorded with Field's design of making amends to the fair sex that Subtle should have met with the same success as Lothario. The attempt of Bold in disguise upon the Widow was taken from an incident apparently well known about the date when the play was written, and referred to in it. The original of that part of the comedy which relates to Ingen and the Lady Honour has not been found, and perhaps it was the invention of the poet.
The two editions of this play in 1618 and 1639 do not materially vary, although the difference between the title-pages might lead to the supposition that "the merry pranks of Moll Cutpurse" and the "humour of roaring" were new in the latter copy. It seldom happens that faith is to be put in attractive changes of title-pages. Middleton and Rowley's "Fair Quarrel" is, indeed, an instance to the contrary; for the edition of 1622 contains a good deal of curious matter connected with the manners of the times, promised in "the fore-front of the book," and not found in the copy of 1617. In "Amends for Ladies," Moll Cutpurse only appears in one scene. The variations between the impressions are errors of the press, some of which are important of their kind, and such as rendered a careful collation absolutely necessary.
It may here, perhaps, be worth while to place in one view the scanty and scattered information regarding Mary Frith (alias Moll Cutpurse), the Roaring Girl. She was a woman who commonly dressed like a man, and challenged several male opponents, bearing, during her life, the character of a bully, a thief, a bawd, a receiver of stolen goods, &c.[70] She appears to have been the daughter of a shoemaker, born in 1584, dead in 1659, and buried in what is now called St Bride's Church. In February 1611-12, she did penance at Paul's Cross, but the letter mentioning this fact, which is in the British Museum, does not state for what offence. Among other daring exploits, she robbed, or assisted in robbing, General Fairfax on Hounslow Heath, for which she was sent to Newgate, but afterwards liberated without trial. The immediate cause of her death was a dropsy, and she seems then to have been possessed of property. She lived in her own house in Fleet Street, next the Globe Tavern, and left £20 that the conduit might run wine on the expected return of Charles II. Besides the comedy by Middleton and Dekker [printed in the works of Middleton], John Day wrote "a book of the mad pranks of Merry Moll of the Bankside." It was entered at Stationers' Hall in 1610, and perhaps the play of which she is the heroine was founded upon it. Another account of her life was printed in 1662, shortly after her decease. She is supposed to be alluded to by Shakespeare in "Twelfth Night," act i. sc. 3, and obtained such "bad eminence," in point of notoriety, that it is not surprising (according to the evidence of the authors of "The Witch of Edmonton," act v. sc. 1), that some of the dogs at Paris Garden, used in baiting bulls and bears, were named after her.
DRAMATIS PERSONÆ.[71]
| Count, father of Lord Feesimple. |
| Lord Feesimple. |
| Lord Proudly. |
| Sir John Love-all, called Husband. |
| Subtle, his friend. |
| Ingen, in love with Lady Honour. |
| Frank, his younger brother. |
| Bold, in love with Lady Bright. |
| Welltried, his friend. |
| Seldom, a citizen. |
| Whorebang, } |
| Bots, } |
| } Roarers. |
| Tearchaps, } |
| Spillblood,} |
| Pitts,} |
| } Serjeants. |
| Donner,} |
| Page, Drawer, &c. |
| Lady Honour,} {Maid. |
| Lady Perfect,} called{Wife. |
| Lady Bright,} {Widow. |
| Grace Seldom. |
| Moll Cutpurse. |