THE FARMER’S OLD WIFE.
A SUSSEX WHISTLING SONG.
[This is a countryman’s whistling song, and the only one of the kind which we remember to have heard. It is very ancient, and a great favourite. The farmer’s wife has an adventure somewhat resembling the hero’s in the burlesque version of Don Giovanni. The tune is Lilli burlero, and the song is sung as follows:—the first line of each verse is given as a solo; then the tune is continued by a chorus of whistlers, who whistle that portion of the air which in Lilli burlero would be sung to the words, Lilli burlero bullen a la. The songster then proceeds with the tune, and sings the whole of the verse through, after which the strain is resumed and concluded by the whistlers. The effect, when accompanied by the strong whistles of a group of lusty countrymen, is very striking, and cannot be adequately conveyed by description. This song constitutes the ‘traditionary verses’ upon which Burns founded his Carle of Killyburn Braes.]
There was an old farmer in Sussex did dwell,
[Chorus of whistlers.]
There was an old farmer in Sussex did dwell,
And he had a bad wife, as many knew well.
[Chorus of whistlers.]
Then Satan came to the old man at the plough,—
‘One of your family I must have now.
‘It is not your eldest son that I crave,
But it is your old wife, and she I will have.’
‘O, welcome! good Satan, with all my heart,
I hope you and she will never more part.’
Now Satan has got the old wife on his back,
And he lugged her along, like a pedlar’s pack.
He trudged away till they came to his hall-gate,
Says he, ‘Here! take in an old Sussex chap’s mate!’
O! then she did kick the young imps about,—
Says one to the other, ‘Let’s try turn her out.’
She spied thirteen imps all dancing in chains,
She up with her pattens, and beat out their brains.
She knocked the old Satan against the wall,—
‘Let’s try turn her out, or she’ll murder us all!’
Now he’s bundled her up on his back amain,
And to her old husband he took her again.
‘I have been a tormenter the whole of my life,
But I ne’er was tormenter till I met with your wife.’
OLD WICHET AND HIS WIFE.
[This song still retains its popularity in the North of England, and, when sung with humour, never fails to elicit roars of laughter. A Scotch version may be found in Herd’s Collection, 1769, and also in Cunningham’s Songs of England and Scotland, London, 1835. We cannot venture to give an opinion as to which is the original; but the English set is of unquestionable antiquity. Our copy was obtained from Yorkshire. It has been collated with one printed at the Aldermary press, and preserved in the third volume of the Roxburgh Collection. The tune is peculiar to the song.]
O! I went into the stable, and there for to see, [206]
And there I saw three horses stand, by one, by two, and by three;
O! I called to my loving wife, and ‘Anon, kind sir!’ quoth she;
‘O! what do these three horses here, without the leave of me?’
‘Why, you old fool! blind fool! can’t you very well see,
These are three milking cows my mother sent to me?’
‘Ods bobs! well done! milking cows with saddles on!
The like was never known!’
Old Wichet a cuckold went out, and a cuckold he came home!
O! I went into the kitchen, and there for to see,
And there I saw three swords hang, by one, by two, quoth she;
O! I called to my loving wife, and ‘Anon, kind sir!’
‘O! what do these three swords do here, without the leave of me?’
‘Why, you old fool! blind fool! can’t you very well see,
These are three roasting spits my mother sent to me?’
‘Ods bobs! well done! roasting spits with scabbards on!
The like was never known!’
Old Wichet a cuckold went out, and a cuckold he came home!
O! I went into the parlour, and there for to see,
And there I saw three cloaks hang, by one, by two, and by three;
O! I called to my loving wife, and ‘Anon, kind sir!’ quoth she;
‘O! what do these three cloaks do here, without the leave of me?’
‘Why, you old fool! blind fool! can’t you very well see,
These are three mantuas my mother sent to me?’
‘Ods bobs! well done! mantuas with capes on!
The like was never known!’
Old Wichet a cuckold went out, and a cuckold he came home!
O! I went into the pantry, and there for to see,
And there I saw three pair of boots, [207] by one, by two, and by three;
O! I called to my loving wife, and ‘Anon, kind sir!’ quoth she;
‘O! what do these three pair of boots here, without the leave of me?’
‘Why, you old fool! blind fool! can’t you very well see,
These are three pudding-bags my mother sent to me?’
‘Ods bobs! well done! pudding-bags with spurs on!
The like was never known!’
Old Wichet a cuckold went out, and a cuckold he came home!
O! I went into the dairy, and there for to see,
And there I saw three hats hang, by one, by two, and by three;
O! I called to my loving wife, and ‘Anon, kind sir!’ quoth she;
‘Pray what do these three hats here, without the leave of me?’
‘Why, you old fool! blind fool! can’t you very well see,
These are three skimming-dishes my mother sent to me?’
‘Ods bobs! well done! skimming-dishes with hat-bands on!
The like was never known!’
Old Wichet a cuckold went out, and a cuckold he came home!
O! I went into the chamber, and there for to see,
And there I saw three men in bed, by one, by two, and by three;
O! I called to my loving wife, and ‘Anon, kind sir!’ quoth she;
‘O! what do these three men here, without the leave of me?’
‘Why, you old fool! blind fool! can’t you very well see,
They are three milking-maids my mother sent to me?’
‘Ods bobs! well done! milking-maids with beards on!
The like was never known!’
Old Wichet a cuckold went out, and a cuckold he came home!