A STAMMERING WIFE.
When deeply in love with Miss Emily Pryne,
I vowed if the lady would only be mine,
I would always be ready to please her;
She blushed her consent, though the stuttering lass
Said never a word except “You’re an ass—
An ass—an ass—iduous teazer!”
But when we were married, I found to my ruth
The stammering lady had spoken the truth;
For often, in obvious dudgeon,
She’d say—if I ventured to give her a jog
In the way of reproof—“You’re a dog—dog—dog—
A dog—a dog—matic curmudgeon!”
And once, when I said, “We can hardly afford
This immoderate style with our moderate board,”
And hinted we ought to be wiser,
She looked, I assure you, exceedingly blue,
And fretfully cried, “You’re a Jew—Jew—Jew—
A very ju-dicious adviser!”
Again, when it happened that, wishing to shirk
Some rather unpleasant and arduous work,
I begged her to go to a neighbor,
She wanted to know why I made such a fuss,
And saucily said, “You’re a cuss—cuss—cuss—
You were always ac—cus—tomed to labor!”
Out of temper at last with the insolent dame,
And feeling the woman was greatly to blame,
To scold me instead of caressing,
I mimicked her speech, like a churl as I am,
And angrily said, “You’re a dam—dam—dam—
A dam-age instead of a blessing.”