ANTITHESIS EXTRAORDINARY.
The following singular inscription may be seen on a monument in Horsley Down Church, Cumberland, England:—
Here lie the bodies of
Thomas Bond and Mary his wife.
She was temperate, chaste, and charitable.
But
She was proud, peevish, and passionate.
She was an affectionate wife and a tender
mother,
But
Her husband and child, whom she loved, seldom
saw her countenance without a
disgusting frown;
Whilst she received visitors whom she despised
with an endearing smile.
Her behaviour was discreet towards strangers,
But
Imprudent in her family.
Abroad her conduct was influenced by good
breeding,
But
At home by ill temper.
She was a professed enemy to flattery, and was
seldom known to praise or commend;
But
The talents in which she principally excelled
Were difference of opinion and discovering
flaws and
Imperfections.
She was an admirable economist,
And, without prodigality,
Dispensed plenty to every person in her family,
But
Would sacrifice their eyes to a farthing candle.
She sometimes made her husband
Happy with her good qualities,
But
Much more frequently miserable with her
Many failings.
Insomuch that in thirty years’ cohabitation,
He often lamented that,
Maugre all her virtues,
He had not on the whole enjoyed two years
Of matrimonial comfort.
At length,
Finding she had lost the affection of her husband,
as well as the regard of her neighbors,
family disputes having been
divulged by servants,
She died of vexation, July 20, 1768,
Aged 48 years.
Her worn-out husband survived her four months
and two days, and departed this life
November 22, 1768,
In the 54th year of his age.
William Bond, brother to the deceased,
Erected this stone as a
Weekly monitor to the wives of this parish,
That they may avoid the infamy of having
Their memories handed down to posterity
With a patchwork character.