The Country-mans new care away.

To the [Tune] of, Love will find out the way.

[125.]If there were imployments

for men, as have beene,

And Drummes, Pikes and Muskets

in th' field to be seene,

And every worthy Souldier

had truely their pay,

Then might they be bolder

to sing, Care away.

If there were no Rooking,

but plaine dealing used,

If honest Religion

were no wayes abused,

If pride in the Country

did not beare sway,

The Poore and the Gentry

might sing, Care away.

If Farmers consider'd

the dearenesse of graine,

How honest poore Tradesmen

their charge should maintaine,

And would bate the price on't

to sing, Care away

We should not be nice on't

of what we did pay.

If poore Tenants, Landlords

would not racke their rents,

Which oft is the cause of

their great discontents,

If, againe, good house-keeping

in th' Land did beare sway,

The poore that sits weeping

might sing, Care away.

If Spendthrifts were carefull

and would leave their follies,

Ebriety hating

Cards, Dice, Bowling-Alleyes,

Or with wantons to dally

by night or by day,

Their wives might be merry,

and sing, Care away.

If Children to Parents

would dutifull be,

If Servants with Masters

would deale faithfully,

If Gallants poore Tradesmen

would honestly pay,

Then might they have Comfort

to sing, Care away.

There is no contentment

to a conscience that's cleare,

That man is most wretched

a bad mind doth beare,

To wrong his poore Neighbour

by night or by day,

He wants the true comfort

to sing, Care away.

But he that is ready

by goodnesse to labour,

In what he is able

to helpe his poore Neighbour,

The Lord will ever blesse him

by night and by day,

All ioyes shall possesse him

to sing, Care away.

Would wives with their husbands,

and husbands with wives

In love and true friendship

would so lead their lives,

As best might be pleasing

to God night and day,

Then they with hearts easing

might sing, Care away.

No crosse can be greater

unto a good mind,

Than a man to be matched

with a woman unkind,

Whose tongue is never quiet

but scolds night and day,

That man wants the comfort

to sing, Care away.

A Vertuous woman

a husband that hath,

That's given unto lewdnesse,

to envy and wrath,

Who after wicked women

does hunt for his prey,

That woman wants comfort

to sing, Care away.

Like true subiects loyall,

to God let us pray,

Our good king so Royall,

to preserve night and day:

With the Queen, Prince and Nobles,

the Lord blesse them aye,

Then may we have comfort

to sing, Care away.

[82.] There was a lusty young Scholler preferred to a Benefice in the Country, and commonly on Sundayes and holy dayes after evening prayer hee would have a dozen bouts at cudgels with the sturdiest youths in his parish: The Bishop of the Diocesse hearing of it, sent for the parson, telling him this beseemed not his profession and gravity, and if that he did not desist from that unmeet kind of exercise, hee would unbenefice him. Good my Lord, (said the Parson) I beseech you to conceive rightly of mee, and I doubt not but my playing at cudgels will be counted tollerable; for I doe it of purpose to edifie the ruder sort of my people. How so, said the Bishop. Marry, my Lord, (quoth the Parson) whatsoever I do teach them at morning and evening prayer, I doe beat soundly into their heads with cudgels afterward, for their better remembrance.

[94.] He that buys a Horse in Smithfield, and does not look upon him with a pair of Spectacles, before he buys him, makes his Horse and himself a pair of sorrowful Spectacles for others to look at.

[110.] Upon a time Maister Hobson lying in saint Albones, there came certaine musitions to play at his chamber doore, to the intent as they filled his eares with their musicke, he should fil their purses with mony: whereupon he bad one of the servants of the Inne (that waited upon him) to goe and tell them that hee could not then indure to heare their musicke for he mourned for the death of his mother, so the musitians disapoynted of their purpose went sadly all away. The fellow heard him speake of mourning, asked him how long agoe it is since he buried his mother; truely (quoth maister Hobson) it is now very neare forty yeares agoe. The fellow understanding his subtilty, and how wittily he sent away the musitians, laughed very hartely.

[52.] On a Winters evening a Country husband man went to fetch his wives kine home to milk, and driving them into the back side, hee forgot to shut the gate, and hee comes into the house, sits him down by the fire side. The kine finding the gate open, ranne trotting and lowing downe the durty lane, toward the field, and the mans daughter looking forth at the doore and seeing them, cries out to her mother, Faith my father is a fine man, I think the kine are gone to the devill, shall I goe after them? No (quoth her mother) daughter, you are too forward: Let your father goe, he's fitter, he has his hie shoone on.

A Song.

[121.]Sir Francis, Sir Francis, Sir Francis his Son,

Sir Robert and eke Sir William did come,

And eke the good Earl of Southampton

March't on his way most gallantly;

And then the Queen began to speak,

Youre welcome home Sir Francis Drake.

Then came my Lord Chamberlain, and with his white staffe,

And all the people began for to laugh.

The Queen's Speech.—

Gallants all of British bloud,

Why do ye not saile on th' Ocean flood?

I protest ye'are not all worth a Philberd

Compared with Sir Humphrey Gilberd.

The Queen's Reason.

For he walkt forth in a rainy day,

To the new-found Land he took his way,

With many a gallant fresh and green;

He never came home agen.[²⁴³] God bless the Queen.

[²⁴³] Sir Humphrey Gilbert was half-brother to Sir Walter Raleigh, and was a famous navigator of Elizabeth's reign. In 1583 he took possession of Newfoundland, but his ship foundered on the voyage home, 9th September 1584.

[82.] A Justice of the Peace was very angry with a country yeoman, because hee came not to him at his first sending for him; and after he had bountifully bestowed two or three dozen of knaves upon him, hee said to him, Sirrah, I will make you know that the proudest knave that dwels under my command shall come before mee when I send for him. I beseech your worship said the man, to pardon mee, for I was afraid: afraid of what? said the Justice. Of your worship answered the fellow. Of mee? said the Justice, why wast thou afraid of mee? Because your worship lookes so like a Lyon, said the man. A Lyon? quoth the Justice, when didst thou see a Lyon? May it please your worship (the fellow replyde) I saw a Butcher bring one but yesterday to Colebrooke market, with a white face and his foure legs bound.

This fellow was a knave, or foole, or both,

Or else his wit was of but slender growth:

He gave the white fac'd Calfe the Lyons stile,

The Justice was a proper man the while.

[4.] One that was Born in the Parish of S^t Giles Cripplegate said: When I dye, I'll be Buried in Cripple Church Yard, an't please God I live.

[26.] A Notable Fellow, that, as 'tis said would not be drunk above seven days in the week; and when he was drunk was so besotted that he knew not what he did. Once his Prentice was sent by his Wife to fetch him home, and when he found him out, he found him reeling ripe also. And as they came down Ludgate Hill, in a Moon-shiny night, saw the reflection of the Bell-Savage sign post upon the ground, and it seems took it for a Block, and went to lift his Leg over it, his Prentice having him by the Arm for his supporter, askt what he meant by that? Why, says he, to go over this Block. He told him 'twas not a Block. What is it then? says he. 'Tis a Sign, says the Boy. What Sign, I prithee? Why Master 'tis a Sign you are drunk.

[17.] One who was deep in debt, and forced to keep within all day for fear of Serjeants and Bailiffs would yet at night adventure abroad in some back Lanes and Alleys. Passing one night through the Butchers Shambles, going in hast, one of the Tenter Hooks catcht hold of his cloak. He thinking it had been a Serjeant which had thus shoulder clapt him, looking back, said, At whose Suit I pray you?

[105.] When Scogin should ride home againe, his bootes were nought, and hee could not tell what shift to make. At last he devised what he might doe: whereupon he sent his man for a shoo-maker to bring him a paire of Bootes. The shoo-maker brought the bootes, and when hee had pulled on the right foot boote, and was pulling on the other boot, Scogin said, it was marvellous strait, and that it did pinch his leg: wherefore hee prayed him to carry it home, and set it on the laste an houre or two: for (quoth he) I have a thing to write that will hold mee two houres, and all that time I will sit and write, & keepe this other boote on my leg still untill that be ready. The shoomaker tooke the boot and went home, as Scogin had bidden him. When the shoo maker was gone, hee sent his man for another shoo maker, and caused one to pull off the boot which the first shoo maker had pulled on. When the other shoo maker was come, Scogin caused him to pull on the left boot, and when hee was pulling on the right foot boot, Scogin found fault with it, as he did with the first shoo maker, and sent him away in like sort. When he was gone, hee caused his man to make ready their horses, and hee pulled on the boot againe, which the first shoo maker had left behinde him, and so he rode away with the two bootes of two shoo makers: shortly after, the shoomakers came and enquired for Scogin, but hee and his man were gone, almost an houre before.

[82.] Two Playsterers being at worke for mee at my house in Southwarke, did many times patch and dawbe out part of their dayes labour with prating, which I, being digging in my garden did over heare that their chat was of their wives, and how that if I were able (quoth one) my wife should ride in pompe through London, as I saw a Countesse ride yesterday. Why, quoth the other, how did shee ride I pray? Marry, said hee, in state, in her Horslitter. O base, quoth the other, Horslitter: I protest as poore a man as I am, I would have allowed my wife a three-peny trusse of cleane Straw.

[26.] Henry Martin the great Rumper, for you know all Martins are Birds, and he being so, flew so high before; but after the King's most happy Restauration, was brought so low, as to kneel at the Bar of the Lord's House; though 'tis thought he never came into the Lords House before, unless it were to see a handsome Girl there. But at the Lords Bar he was askt what he could say, that Judgment should not pass upon him? My Lords, says he, I understood that the King's Proclamation extended to favour of life, upon rendring myself, which I then did. And, withal, my Lords, I do let you to know, and I do ingeniously confess it, that I never obey'd any of his Majesty's Proclamations before, but this; and I hope I shall not be hang'd for taking the King's word now.

[94.] One sitting by the Fire to take Tobacco, said the Fire was his friend, and presently spit into it: To which one replied, You do not well to quench your friends love by spitting in his face.

The Joviall Crew.[²⁴⁴]
or
Beggars-Bush.

In which a Mad Maunder doth vapour and swagger

With praiseing the Trade of a bonney bold Beggar.

To the tune of, From hunger and Cold.

[126.]A Beggar, a Beggar,

A Beggar I'le be,

There's none leads a Life so jocond as hee;

A Beggar I was,

And a Beggar I am,

A Beggar I'le be, from a Beggar I came:

If (as it begins) our Trading do fall,

I fear (at the last) we shall be Beggars all.

Our Tradesmen miscarry in all their affayrs

And few men grow wealthy, but Courtiers and Players.

A Craver my father,

A Maunder my mother,

A Filer my sister, a Filcher my brother,

A Canter my Unckle,

That cared not for Pelfe,

A Lifter my aunt, a Beggar myselfe.

In white wheaten straw, when their bellies were full,

Then I was begot, between Tinker and Trul.

And therefore a Beggar, a Beggar I'le be,

For none hath a spirit so jocond as he.

When Boyes do come to us,

And that their intent is

To follow our Calling, we nere bind them Prentice,

Soon as they come too't,

We teach them to doo't,

And give them a Staff and a Wallet to boot.

We teach them their Lingua, to Crave and to Cant,

The devil is in them if then they can want.

If any are here that Beggars will bee,

We without Indentures will make them free.

We begg for our bread,

But sometimes it happens

We feast with Pigg, Pullet, Conny and Capons

For Churche's affairs

We are no Man-slayers

We have no religion, yet live by our prayers.

But if when we begg, Men will not draw their purses,

We charge and give fire, with a volley of curses,

The Devil confound your good Worship we cry,

And such a hold brazen fac'd Beggar am I.

London. Printed for W. Thackeray, T. Passenger, and W. Whitwood.

[²⁴⁴] For tune, see [Appendix].

[82.] A Justice of the Peace committed a fellow to prison, and commanded him away three or foure times, but stil the fellow intreated him. Sirrah, (said the Justice) must I bid you bee gone so many times, and will you not goe? The fellow answered, Sir, if your worship had bidden mee to dinner or supper, I should in my poore manners not to have taken your offer under two or three biddings; therefore I pray you blame me not if I looke for foure biddings to prison.

[26.] King James being in his Progress at Woodstock in Oxfordshire, the King, finding it to rain so one morning that he could not ride a hunting, had got some Nobility and Gentry together, resolving to be merry. And one humour was, that the King having that morning a fine curvetting Horse given him, which kind of Horse he never lik'd in his life, told them that he that could tell the greatest lie should have that Horse. So one told one lie, and another, another: and several had told others, that there was great laughing; and just in the midst of this mirth in comes a Country Fellow, complaining to the King that some of his Servants had wrong'd him: Well, well, says the King, we'll hear you of that anon; come, come hither amongst us, and you must know that he that can tell the greatest lie shall have that horse. Truly Sir, says he, an't please your Grace, I never told a lie in all my life. With that says the King, Give him the Horse, give him the Horse, for I am sure that is the greatest lie that has been told to day.

[94.] A yong lascivious Gallant wanting money, could not with his credit sell anything; yet his father being but lately dead, at length was checkt by some of his friends for his loose and extravagant life, and withal told him he had base and beastly Associates that did draw him to ill houses. He, taking this opportunity, answered, Truly, Friends, your Counsel is very good, I will presently go sell my Coach and Horses.

[17.] One being desired to eat some Oysters, refused, saying they were ungodly meat, unchristianly meat, uncharitable meat, and unprofitable meat. And being demanded his reason why he said it, he answered, They were ungodly meat, because they were eaten without saying of Grace; unchristianly meat because the Creature was eaten alive; uncharitable meat, because they left no offal to the poor, and unprofitable meat, because most commonly there was more spent upon them than the Oysters cost.

[110.] Maister Hobson, and another of his neighbours, on a time walking to Southwarke faire, by chance drunke in a house which had the signe of Sa. Christopher, of the which signe the good man of the house gave this commendation; Saint Christopher (quoth he) when hee lived upon the earth bore the greatest burden that ever was, which was this, he bore Christ over a river. Nay there was one (quoth maister Hobson) that bore a greater burden; Who was that (quoth the in keeper). Mary, quoth Maister Hobson, the asse that bore both him and his mother: so was the Inne keeper called asse by Craft. After this, talking merely together, the aforsaid Inne keeper being a little whitled [²⁴⁵] with drinke, & his head so giddy that he fell into the fire, people standing by, ran sodainely and tooke him up; oh let him alone (quoth Maist. Hobson) a man may doe what he will in his owne house, and lie where so ever he listeth. The man having little hurt, with this sight grew immediately sober, and, after, foxed Maister Hobson and his neighbour so mightely, that comming over London bridge, being very late, ranne against one of the posts, which Maister Hobson thinking it to bee some man that had justled him, drew out his dodgion [²⁴⁶] dagger, and thrust it up into the very hilt into the hollow post; whereupon verely hee had thought hee had kil'd some man: so, running away, was taken by the watch, and so all the Jest was discovered.

[²⁴⁵] Intoxicated.

[²⁴⁶] A dudgeon dagger was one having a boxwood handle.

[52.] A mad fellow newly married, had onely one young child by his wife, of some quarter old, whom he dearly and tenderly loved, but he was much given to good fellowship, and she altogether addicted to sparing, & good huswifery: still he used to come merry home from the taverne from his boone companions, to her great griefe, she being as sparing of her purse, as prodigall of her tongue, for she was little better than a Scold, would oft upbraid him with his expences of money, and time, and to be so often drunke was prejudiciall both to his estate and bodily health, and that it were far better to spend that at home in his house than in a Taverne; with such Matron like speeches, always concluding her exhortations with a vow that if ever he came home again in the like pickle she would (happen what would come) fling the Child into the Moat (for the house was moted round.) It happned shortly after, that he revelling till late in a cold frosty Winter evening, she having intelligence by her scouts where hee was, made no doubt hee would come home flustred. She commands the Infant to bee convaied to the farther part of the house, and to wrap the Cat in the blankets, put it in the Cradle, and there sit and rocke it. Presently comes her Husband, she fals to her old lesson of quarrelling with him, and hee with her, ill words begot worse, much lewd language past betwixt them. The woman suddenly steps to the Cradle (having spied her advantage;) I have long threatned thee a mischiefe, and that revenge I cannot worke on thee (come doggs, come devills) I will inflict on thy Brat in the Cradle; instantly snatched it up in her armes, and ran with it to the Moat side, and flings it into the middle of the water: the poore man much affrighted, leaves to pursue her, and leaps into the water, up in mud and water to the very chinne, crying, Save, oh save the child. Now waded he in the Moat in a very bitter cold frost, till he brought out the Mantle, and with much paine and danger comes to the shore, and still crying, Alas, my poore childe, opened the Cloathes: At length the frighted Cat cryed Mew, and being at liberty leapt from betwixt his armes, and ranne away. The husband both amazed and vexed, the woman heartily laughed at her revenge, and the poore man was glad to reconcile the difference before she would either give him fire or dry linnen.

[26.] A dear and Loving wife, that always bore a great respect to her Husband, both in Sickness and in Health, and now did make it appear to the very last. For when her dear Husband was, in Essex, condemned to die, for a small matter God knows, that is only for stealing four or five Horses, and breaking up as many Houses; so this sweet loving Soul his wife, hearing where he was, came and gave him a visit. Wife, says he, you see what I am come to now, prithee pray for me, and have a care to bring up our Children in the fear of God. Husband, says she, as soon as I heard of it, you see I came to you, and as you know I have always been loving to you, you shall now find it at the last. Pray Husband, tell me, are we to be at the charge of a Rope, or they, for I would have all things ready to do you a kindness; for here I have brought one forty Miles to do you a Courtesie, And so left the Rope with him. Well, wife, says he, I thank you heartily, and pray go home, and look after the Children. No, Husband, says she, I have not come so far, but a Grace a God I'll see you hang'd before I go.

[17.] A Countrey man passing by S^t Pauls Church, at such time as it was turn'd from a House of Prayer, to be a den of Thieves; I mean, an unsanctified Guard of Souldiers: He seeing what manner of Cattle inhabited it, asked a Shopkeeper hard by, If that place were Noah's Ark? Being asked the reason of his demand, Because, said he, I see so many unclean beasts therein.

[105.] When Scogin and his man had ridden ten or twelve miles on their way, hee overtooke a Priest that was riding to London, to pay his first fruits, with whom he kept company untill he came to Stamford, and all that way as they rode, Scogin made the Priest very good cheere, and would let him pay no money, so that Scogin had but two shillings left: and riding betweene Stamford & Huntington, Scogin complayned him to the Parson in this sort: I marvell master Parson (quoth he) how men doe when they want money, to get it? For when I want money, I know not how to get any, except I should steale. No, no, said the Priest, doe you not know that they that serve God well, doe not want, and how that God promiseth, that if you call upon him in your afflictions, that hee will helpe you? You say well, master Parson, said Scogin, and rode before; and when hee saw a faire place, hee kneeled downe and lifted up his hands, and prayed to God, till Master Parson and his man did overtake him, but nothing hee could get. When they were come, hee told them he prayed, but could get nothing. But (quoth he) I will try once againe, and then if I can get nothing, both you, Master Parson and my man shall helpe me to pray, for I doe not doubt but God will helpe something, when hee heareth all our prayers. And then Scogin did ride before againe, and when hee saw his place convenient, hee alighted him from his horse and tied him to a tree, and kneeled downe, and prayed as hee had done before, until such time as they came to him. Then, said the Parson, How do you now, Master Scogin? By my troth, said he, I can get nothing; wherefore, alight, sirra, quoth he to his man, and tie your horse to yonder tree, and then hee went to the Parson, and took his horse by the bridle, and told him hee must needes helpe him to pray. The Parson for feare durst not say him nay, but alighted, and tooke his capcase [²⁴⁷] from the saddle bow, wherein was fifty pounds. Then Scogin asked his man how much money hee had in his purse? He sayd, twenty pence. By my troth, said Scogin, and I have but two shillings, and how much have you Master Parson? said hee. The Parson thought that if he had told him all, hee would surely have borrowed a good part of it, and he said, five pounds. Well, let us pray hartily, said Scogin, and then they kneeled downe, and prayed for the space of halfe an houre; and Scogin said, let us see whether God have heard our request, or no. And then, he looked in his own purse, where was but two shillings, and then he looked in his man's purse, where was but twenty pence. Then Scogin came to the Parson, and said, Now Master Parson, let us see what you have, for I doe not doubt but God hath heard our prayers; and tooke the Priests capcase and opened it, wherein was a bag with fifty Pounds in it, which the Parson should have paid for his first fruits. Then Scogin spread his cloake abroad, and poured out the money, and when hee had told it, hee said, By Lady, Master Parson, God hath heard our prayer; and then hee gave him five pounds, and said, Master Parson, here is the five pound that thou had before wee began to pray, and the rest we will have; for I see that you are so well acquainted with God, that with praying halfe an houre, you can get as much more: and this will doe us great pleasure, and it is but a small matter for you to pray halfe an houre. The Parson desired Scogin to let him have the rest of the money, for hee said that hee did ride to London to pay his first fruits. Well, said Scogin, then you must pray againe, for wee will have this, and so they rode away, and left the Priest behind them: and the Priest was faine to ride home againe for more money.

[²⁴⁷] A small leather travelling case.

[82.] In Queene Elizabeths dayes there was a fellow that wore a brooch in his hat, like a tooth drawer, with a Rose and Crowne and two letters: this fellow had a warrant from the Lord Chamberlaine at that time to travell with an exceeding brave Ape which hee had; whereby hee gat his living from time to time at markets and fayres: his Ape did alwayes ride upon a mastiffe dog, and a man with a drum to attend him. It happened that these foure travellers came to a towne called Looe in Cornwall, where the Inne being taken, the drum went about to signifie to the people that at such an Inne was an Ape of singular vertue and quality, if they pleased to bestow their time and money to see him. Now the townsmen, being honest labouring Fishers, and other painfull functions, had no leasure to waste either time or coyne in Ape tricks, so that no audience came to the Inne, to the great griefe of Jack an Apes his Master; who, collecting his wits together, resolved to adventure to put a tricke upon the towne, whatsoever came of it; whereupon hee took pen, inke, and paper and wrote a warrant to the Mayor of the towne as followeth.

These are to will and require you, and every of you, with your wives and families, that upon the sight hereof you make your personall appearance before the Queenes Ape, for it is an Ape of ranke and quality, who is to be practised throughout her Majesties dominions, that by his long experience amongst her loving subjects, hee may bee the better enabled to doe her Majesty service hereafter; and hereof faile you not, as you will answer the contrary. &c.

This warrant being brought to the Mayor, he sent for a shoomaker at the furthest end of the towne to read it; which when he heard, hee sent for all his brethren, who went with him to the Towne Hall to consult upon this waighty businesse. Where after they had sate a quarter of an houre, no man saying any thing, nor any man knowing what to say; at last a young man that never had borne any office, said, Gentlemen, if I were fit to speake, I thinke (without offence, under correction of the Worshipfull) that I should soone decide this businesse; to whom the Mayor said, I pray good neighbour speake, for though you never did beare any office here, yet you may speake as wisely as some of us. Then sir, said the young man, my opinion is that this Ape carrier is a gybing scoffing knave, and one that doth purpose to make this towne a jesting mocking stocke throughout the whole Kingdome: for was it ever knowne that a fellow should be so impudent audacious, as to send a Warrant without either name or date, to a Mayor of a towne, to the Queenes Lieutenant, and that he with his brethren, their wives and families should be all commanded to come before a Jack an Apes? My counsell is, that you take him and his Ape, with his man, and his dog, and whip the whole messe or murrinal [²⁴⁸] of them out of the towne, which I thinke will be much for your credit if you doe.

At which words a grave man of the towne being much moved, said, My friend, you have spoken little better than treason, for it is the Queene's Ape, and therefore beware what you say; you say true, said master Mayor, I muse who bad that saucy fellow come into our Company, I pray thee, my friend, depart; I thinke you long to have us all hanged. So in briefe hee was put out of the doores, for they were no company for him. Well now, what is to bee done in this matter? Marry (said another Senior) wee see by the Brooch in the mans hat that hee is the Queenes man, and who knowes what power a knave may have in the Court, to doe poore men wrong in the Country, let us goe and see the Ape, it is but two pence a peece, and no doubt but it will be well taken, and if it come to the Queenes eare, shee will thinke us kinde people that would shew so much duty to her Ape, what may shee thinke wee would doe to her Beares if they came hither? besides, it is above 200 miles to London, and if wee should bee complained on and fetched up with Pursinants,[²⁴⁹] whereas now every man may escape for his two pence, Ile warrant it would cost us ten groats a peece at the least. This counsell passed currant, and all the whole drove of the townsmen, with wives and children, went to see the Ape, who was sitting on a table with a chaine about his necke, to whom, master Mayor (because it was the Queenes Ape) put off his hat, and made a leg, but Jacke let him passe unregarded. But mistris Mayoresse comming next in her cleane linnen, held her hands before her belly, and like a woman of good breeding, made a low curtsie, whilest Jacke, (still Court-like) although (he) respected not the man, yet to expresse his courtesie to his wife, hee put forth his paw towardes her, and made a mouth, which the woman perceiving, said, Husband, I doe think in my Conscience that the Queenes Ape doth mock mee: whereat Jacke made another mouth at her, which master Mayor espying, was very angry, saying, Sirrah, thou Ape, I doe see thy saucinesse, and if the rest of the courtiers have no more manners than thou hast then they have all bin better fed than taught: and I will make thee know before thou goest from hence, that this woman is my wife, an ancient woman, and a midwife, and one that might bee thy mother for age.

In this rage master Mayor went to the Inne doore, where Jack an Apes tutor was gathering of money, to whom hee said, Sir, doe you allow your Ape to abuse my Wife? No sir, quoth the other, not by any meanes; truly, said the Mayor, there is witnesse enough within that have seene him make mops and mowes at her, as if shee were not worthy to wipe his shooes, and I will not so put it up. Jack's tutor replyed, Sir, I will presently give him condigne punishment; and straight hee tooke his Flanders blade, his Whip, and holdinge his Ape by the chaine, hee gave him halfe a dozen jerks, which made his teeth daunce in his head like so many Virginal Jackes:[²⁵⁰] Which master Mayor perceiving, ranne to him, and held his hands, saying, enough, enough, good Sir, you have done like a Gentleman, let mee intreat you not to give correction in your wrath; and I pray you and your Ape after the Play is done, to come to my house and sup with mee and my wife.

[²⁴⁸] Or all four of them. A corruption of murnival or mournival. The "Compleat Gamester" says, "A Mournival is either all the aces, the four kings, queens or knaves, and a gleck is three of any of the aforesaid."

[²⁴⁹] Pursuivants

[²⁵⁰] A jack was usually made of pear tree, and rested on the back end of the key lever. It had a movable tongue of holly working in a centre and kept in its place by a bristle spring. A thorn or spike of crow quill projects at right angles from the tongue. On the key being depressed, the jack is forced upwards, and the quill is brought to the string, which it twangs in passing. Queen Elizabeth's virginal has fifty jacks and quills.

[17.] King James keeping his Court at Theobalds,[²⁵¹] in a time of some contagion, divers Constables with their watchmen were set at several places to hinder the concourse of people from flocking thither, without some necessary occasion: Amongst others, one Gentleman (being somewhat in the Garb of a Serving man) was examined what Lord he belonged unto? To which he readily replyed, To the Lord Jehovah: which words being beyond the Constables understanding, he asked his Watchmen, if they knew any such Lord? They replyed No—: However the Constable being unwilling to give distast, said, Well, let him pass, notwithstanding; I believe it is some Scottish Lord or other.

[²⁵¹] Is in the parish of Cheshunt, co. Hertford. Was originally the seat of Lord Burleigh, whom Elizabeth frequently visited. It was used as a hunting lodge by James I., and Charles I. often resided there. William III. gave it to his friend Bentinck, Earl of Portland. In 1765 the remains of the old palace were pulled down, and the new mansion is now the seat of Sir Henry Meux, Bart.

[26.] A Gentleman having drank very hard at the Kings Head Tavern, came Reeling out up Chancery Lane, and chanced to Reel within the Rails of the Pump, and kept his motion round so long that he was tired; whereupon, leaning on the Rail he askt one that passed by, where he was; he told him over against the Chancery. I thought so (says he) and thats the Reason I think I shall never get out of this place.

[94.] A Welchman that had one of his own Countrey men waiting upon him, went to see a Comedy, and drawing out a Purse of gold and silver at the door, was espied by a Cut purse and dog'd, who seated himself close by him, his servant having all this while a careful eye towards his Master, and jealous of the Cut purse, so that whilest his Master was minding his sport, the Cheater got all his gold and silver out of his pocket, and was about to be gone. The little Welchman's blood rising at it, presently drew out his knife, and cut off his ear, which made the fellow startle, and troubled with the smart thereof, ask't what he meant by it? To whom the Welchman replied, shewing him his ear in his hand, No great harm friend, onely give hur Master hur purse, and I will give hur hur ear.

[105.] Scogin waxing sicker and sicker, his friends advertised him to make his Testament, and to shew where he would lye after hee was dead: Friends, said Scogin, when I came into this World, I brought nothing with me, and when I shall depart out of this world, I shall take nothing away but a sheet; take you the sheet, and let mee have the beginning againe naked. And if you cannot doe this for me, I pray you that I may be buried at the East side of Westminster, under one of the spouts of the leads, for I have ever loved good drinke all the dayes of my life, and there was he buried.

When the extreame pangs of death came upon Scogin, the holy Candle was put in his hand to blesse himselfe. When Scogin had done so, in surrendring thankes to God, hee said, Now the proverbe is fulfilled, that he that worst may shall hold the Candle, for ever the weakest is thrust to the wall.

On the syllable Con.

[17.] Dogs concurr, Steeples conspire, wheels converse, Lawyers contend, and Nurses can tend too, Foxes consent, Minors condescend, Women conceive, Apple mongers consider, Millstones contrive, Prisoners congeal, Rope makers concord, Scriveners condition, Faggotters combine, Jaylors confine, Sick men consume, Drums convene, and Scolds can vex, Commanders conduct, great Officers controul, Ducks can dive, Mourners condole, Clouds condense, great Schollars convince, Parishioners Congregate, Country Shoemakers contribute, viz Countrey boot, Gamesters are concise which does not much Conduce to their winning, grave Counsellors conceal, Cardinals conclave, School boys construe, Countrey fellows conjoble,[²⁵²] Judges condemn, Friars confess, Jesuites confute, and Friends conferr together. Politicians consult, Blind men connive, and Cutlers connive too. Proud men contemn, Disputants contest together, Landlords confirm, and their Tenants can farm any thing they let out; Bells convoke, that is call Vokes together, Smiths contaminate, defile, that is do file, and I, like an Epilogue conclude.

FINIS.

[²⁵²] From con, together, and jobbernol, head. To concert, to settle, to discuss.

APPENDIX.
BIBLIOGRAPHICAL REFERENCE
TO THE SOURCES
WHENCE THIS BOOK WAS COMPILED.

[1.] C. 40, a. 11. The Sackfull of Newes. London. Printed by Andrew Clark, and are to be sold by Thomas Passenger,[²⁵³] at the Three Bibles upon London Bridge. 1673 (B. L.)

(Return to p. [1], p. [3], p. [10], p. [15], p. [17], p. [22], p. [28], p. [32])

[2.] Additional MSS. 12,049. Epigrams &c of Sir John Harington, Knight.

(Return to p. [1])

[3.] E. 1617. Wit and Drollery, Jovial Poems. Never before Printed. By Sir J. M. Ja. S. Sir W. D. J. D.[²⁵⁴] And other admirable Wits—London. Printed for Nath Brook [²⁵⁵] at the Angel in Cornhill. 18 Jan. 1656 (? 1655 o.s.). Catalogued under P.(j.)

(Return to p. [1], p. [2], p. [9], p. [16])

[4.] 12,316, a. 20. England's Jests Refin'd and Improv'd, being a Choice Collection of the Merriest Jests, Smartest Repartees, Wittiest Sayings, and most Notable Bulls, yet extant; with many New ones, never before Printed &c. 3^rd Edition London. Printed for John Harris, at the Harrow in the Poultry. 1693. Catalogued H. C. (Humphrey Crouch).

(Return to p. [2], p. [8], p. [16], p. [23], p. [26], p. [27], p. [37], p. [42], p. [48], p. [55], p. [81], p. [93], p. [116], p. [123], p. [139], p. [173], p. [183], p. [200], p. [220], p. [231], p. [254], p. [259], p. [260], p. [272], p. [279], p. [291], p. [303], p. [310], p. [312], p. [318], p. [326], p. [335], p. [348], p. [376], p. [385], p. [391], p. [405], p. [408], p. [413], p. [422])

[5.] 11,601, b.b. 23. Witts Recreations. Selected from the finest Fancies of Moderne Muses. With a Thousand out-Landish Proverbs. London. Printed for Humph. Blunden, at y^e Castle in Cornhill. 1640. Catalogued Wit.

(Return to p. [2], p. [7], p. [8], p. [11], p. [12], p. [15], p. [18], p. [23], p. [26], p. [29], p. [33], p. [43], p. [75], p. [85], p. [86], p. [95], p. [123], p. [129], p. [132], p. [140], p. [156], p. [169], p. [175], p. [182], p. [186], p. [194], p. [195], p. [201], p. [212], p. [219], p. [224], p. [231], p. [240], p. [246], p. [252], p. [254], p. [273], p. [334])

[6.] 239, i. 25. Epigrams both Pleasant and Serious, written by that All-Worthy Knight, Sir Iohn Harrington, and never before Printed. London. Imprinted for John Budge,[²⁵⁶] and are to be sold at his shoppe at the south dore of Pauls, and at Britaines Burse[²⁵⁷] 1615.

(Return to p. [3], p. [16], p. [27], p. [62], p. [81], p. [86], p. [96])

[7.]	C. 20, f. 8	Roxburghe Ballads.
	534

(Return to p. [4])

[8.] Grenville, 10,381. Witty Apothegms delivered at Several Times and upon Several Occasions by King James, King Charls, The Marquess of Worcester, Francis Lord Bacon, and Sir Thomas Moor. London. Printed for W. R. for Matthew Smelt and are to be sold at his Shop next to the Castle near Moorgate 1669.

(Return to p. [7], p. [22], p. [26], p. [33], p. [38], p. [44], p. [48], p. [57], p. [85], p. [98], p. [121], p. [123], p. [141])

[9.] Grenville, 10,374. Choice Chance and Change or Conceites in their Colours. Imprinted at London for Nathaniell Fosbrooke, and are to be sold at his shop in Pauls Churchyard at the signe of the Helmet, 1606.

(Return to p. [8])

[10.]	C. 20, f. 8	Roxburghe Ballads.
	554

(Return to p. [12])

[11.]	C. 20, f. 7	Roxburghe Ballads.
	158

(Return to p. [18])

[12.] 11,626, a. a. 36. Westminster Quibbles in verse: Being a Mock to the Crab of the Wood, and to that Tune: or, a Miscellany of Quibling, Catches, Joques and Merriments. London. Printed for William Cademan,[²⁵⁸] at the Popes Head in the Lower Walk of the New Exchange. 1672.

(Return to p. [23], p. [26], p. [29], p. [44], p. [45], p. [48], p. [57], p. [62], p. [72], p. [75], p. [80], p. [81], p. [85], p. [93], p. [96], p. [98], p. [102], p. [115], p. [122], p. [129])

[13.] Westminster Drollery, the Second Part, being a Compleat Collection of all the Newest and Choicest Songs and Poems at Court, and both the Theaters. By the Author of the First Part, never Printed before. London. Printed for William Gilbert at the Half Moon in S^t Pauls Church-yard, & Tho. Sawbridge at the three Flower de Luces in Little Britain 1672. (11,621, a. 45.)

(Return to p. [23], p. [27], p. [38], p. [43], p. [44], p. [56])

[14.] Wits Interpreter the English Parnassus &c. The 3^rd Edition with many new Additions By J. C(otgrave) London. 1671. (Grenville, 10,378.)

(Return to p. [29], p. [32], p. [38])

[15.]	C. 20, f. 8	Roxburghe Ballads.
	236

(Return to p. [29])

[16.] The most Elegant and Wittie Epigrams of Sir John Harington Knight. Digested into foure Bookes.—London.

Printed by George Miller 1633.	638, k. 17	Roxburghe Ballads.
	2

(Return to p. [32], p. [34], p. [48], p. [75])

[17.] C. 40, b. 11. Oxford Jests Refined and Enlarged; being a Collection of Witty Jests, Merry Tales, & Pleasant Joques. Collected by Captain W. H.[²⁵⁹] Native of Oxford. London. Printed for Simon Miller, at the Star at the West End of S^t Paul's. 1684. Catalogued Hickes (W.)

(Return to p. [34], p. [55], p. [61], p. [86], p. [115], p. [122], p. [133], p. [147], p. [152], p. [172], p. [182], p. [186], p. [190], p. [195], p. [201], p. [220], p. [227], p. [229], p. [235], p. [244], p. [245], p. [279], p. [291], p. [302], p. [305], p. [310], p. [312], p. [318], p. [326], p. [334], p. [335], p. [347], p. [362], p. [385], p. [391], p. [397], p. [402], p. [407], p. [416], p. [423], p. [427], p. [429], p. [434], p. [436])

[18.] Delight & Pastime or Pleasant Diversion for both sexes consisting of Good History &c &c—London. Printed for J Sprint at the Bell, and G. Conyers at the Gold Ring, in Little Britain, over against the Sugar Loaf. 1697. Price 1/. Catalogued M.(G.)

(Return to p. [39], p. [43], p. [45], p. [57], p. [72], p. [75], p. [84], p. [87], p. [97], p. [116], p. [152], p. [293], p. [304])

[19.]	C. 20, f. 8	Roxburghe Ballads.
	226

(Return to p. [34])

[20.]	C. 20, f. 8	Roxburghe Ballads.
	227

(Return to p. [40], p. [239])

[21.]	C. 22, e. 2	A Collection of English Ballads.
	110

(Return to p. [45])

[22.]	C. 20, f. 8	Roxburghe Ballads.
	279

(Return to p. [53])

[23.]	C. 20, f. 8	Roxburghe Ballads.
	359

(Return to p. [58])

[24.] C. 40, a. 1. Wit Restor'd in severall select Poems not formerly publish't. London. Printed for R. Pollard, N. Brooks and T. Dring,[²⁶⁰] and are to be sold at the Old Exchange, and in Fleet Street. 1658. Catalogued Wit.

(Return to p. [62], p. [72], p. [93], p. [98], p. [102], p. [115])

[25.] 1078, e. 2. Norfolk Drollery, Or a Compleat Collection of the Newest Songs, Jovial Poems, and Catches &c—By the Author, M. Stevenson. London. Printed for R. Reynolds,[²⁶¹] at the Sun and Bible, and John Lutton at the Blue Anchor in the Poultry. 1673. Catalogued Stevenson.

(Return to p. [65], p. [80])

[26.] Coffee House Jests Refined and Enlarged. By the Author of the Oxford Jests. The Fourth Edition, with Large Additions. London. Printed for Hen. Rhodes, next door to the Swan Tavern, near Bride Lane in Fleet Street. 1686. Catalogued Coffee House Jests. 12,316, a. 15.

(Return to p. [67], p. [75], p. [80], p. [86], p. [92], p. [102], p. [122], p. [133], p. [157], p. [175], p. [180], p. [192], p. [195], p. [227], p. [241], p. [245], p. [254], p. [259], p. [272], p. [280], p. [292], p. [303], p. [310], p. [317], p. [333], p. [342], p. [348], p. [360], p. [366], p. [376], p. [384], p. [405], p. [411], p. [414], p. [416], p. [422], p. [424], p. [426], p. [429], p. [435])

[27.]	816, m. 9
	31

(No entries)

[28.]	C. 20, f. 9	Roxburghe Ballads.
	74

(Return to p. [68])

[29.]	C. 20, f. 7	Roxburghe Ballads.
	42

(Return to p. [76])

[30.]	C. 20, f. 8	Roxburghe Ballads.
	51

(Return to p. [82])

[31.]	C. 20, f. 7	Roxburghe Ballads.
	340

(Return to p. [87])

[32.] C. 40, a. 6. The Booke of Merry Riddles, together with proper Questions, and witty Proverbs, to make pleasant pastime. No lesse usefull than behoovefull for any young man or child, to know if he be quick witted, or no. London. Printed for John Stafford,[²⁶²] and W.G, and are to be sold at the George near Fleetbridg. 1660.

(Return to p. [91], p. [96], p. [102], p. [121], p. [129], p. [133], p. [138], p. [140], p. [169], p. [175], p. [213])

[33.]	669, f. 10	Single Sheets.
	99

(Return to p. [94])

[34.]	669, f. 10	Single Sheets.
	106

(No entries)

[35.]	C. 20, f. 8	Roxburghe Ballads.
	112

(Return to p. [99])

[36.]	E. 246	A Dialogue or Rather a Parley betweene Prince Ruperts Dogge, whose name is Puddle and Tobies Dog whose name is Pepper &c.
	23

Whereunto is added the Challeng which Prince Griffins Dogg called Towzer hath sent to Prince Ruperts Dogg Puddle, in the behalf of honest Pepper Tobies Dog. Moreover the said Prince Griffin is newly gone to Oxford to lay the Wager, and to make up the Match. Printed at London for I. Smith 1643.

(Return to p. [104], p. [107])

[37.]	E. 99	The Bloody Prince, or a declaration of the most cruell Practices of Prince Rupert,
	14

and the rest of the Cavaliers in fighting against God, and the true Members of His Church. By I. W. London. Printed 1643. Catalogued W. (i.)

(Return to p. [105])

[38.] 12,613 c. The History of the Blind Begger of Bednal Green.

(Return to p. [105])

[39.]	E. 92	The Parliaments unspotted Bitch: in answer to Prince Roberts Dog called Boy, And his Malignant She Monkey.
	13

Printed for R. Jackson 1643.[²⁶³] Catalogued England.

(Return to p. [105], p. [113])

[40.]	E. 96	The Welsh Embassadour, Or the happy Newes his Worshiphath brought to London, &c—Printed for I. Underwood 1643.[²⁶³]
	16

(Return to p. [106])

[41.] 11,609, c. 6. The Works of Mr John Cleveland &c—London. Printed by R Holt for Obadiah Blagrave at the Bear and Star, over against the little North Door in S^t Paul's Church yard 1687.

(Return to p. [106])

[42.]	669, f. 11	The Braggadocia Souldier: and the Civill Citizen. Printed for J. L. 1647.
	81

(Return to p. [108])

[43.]	E. 3	A Dogs Elegy, or Ruperts Tears [²⁶⁴] for the late Defeat given him at Marston moore, neer York, by the Three Renowned Generalls
	17

Alexander Earl of Leven, Generall of the Scottish Forces, Fardinando Lord Fairefax, and the Earle of Manchester Generalls of the English Forces in the North. Where his beloved Dog named Boy, was killed by a Valliant Souldier, who had skill in Necromancy. Likewise the strange breed of this Shagg'd Cavalier, whelp'd of a Malignant Water-witch; with all his tricks and feats.

Sad Caveliers, Rupert invites you all

That doe survive, to his Dogs Funerall.

Close mourners are the Witch, Pope, & devill,

That much lament yo'r late befallen evill.

Printed at London for G. B. July 27. 1644.

(Return to p. [109])

[44.]	E. 3	The Kingdomes Weekly Intelligencer. Catalogued P. P. London.
	11

(Return to p. [109])

[45.]	E. 3	A CONTINUATION of Certain Speciall and Remarkable passages informed to the Parliament,
	13

and otherwise from divers parts of this Kingdome, from Wednesday the 10^th of Iuly, till Wednesday the 17. of Iuly. 1644. Catalogued P. P. London. Special and Remarkable Passages.

(Return to p. [109])

[46.]	E. 2	Ruperts Sumpter, and Private Cabinet rifled. And a Discovery of his Jewels
	24

By way of Dialogue between Mercurius Britannicus and Mercurius Aulicus. London. Printed by J. Coe [²⁶⁵] A.D. 1644. Catalogued Rupert.

(Return to p. [110])

[47.]	E. 4	The Catholike's Petition to Prince Rupert showing Theground of their Griefe, The force of their Constancie, and their hopes of Recovery.
	4

With a Draught of a Proclamation presented to his Highnesse, for the more speedy Recruiting his Army, destroying the Protestants, and gaining a Crowne.

Prince looke about thee, here is much adoe,

'Tis time to looke, and lay about thee too;

Send obstinate offenders to their graves.

That neither will be Catholikes nor slaves.

Printed according to Order for G. B.[²⁶⁶] August 1. 1644. Catalogued Catholics.

(Return to p. [111])

[48.]	E. 2	A Continuation of true Intelligence from the English andScottish Forces, in the North, for the service of King and Parliament,
	1

and now beleaguering York, from the 16^th of June to Wednesday the 10^th of July. 1644. Wherein is given a full and particular Accompt of the Battaile with Prince Rupert, and the Marquesse New Castle together with the successe thereof. By Sim. Ash. Chaplaine to the Earle of Manchester, and one of the Ministers of the Assembly. London. Printed for Thomas Underhill, at the Bible in Woodstreet. 1644.

(Return to p. [110])

[49.]	E. 90	An exact description of Prince Rupert's Malignant She-Monkey, great Delinquent:
	25

Having approved herselfe a better servant, than his white Dog called Boy. Laid open in three particulars: 1. What she is in her owne shape. 2. What she doth figuratively signifie. 3. Her malignant tricks and qualities. Printed for E. Johnson. 1642 (a misprint for 1643). Catalogued Ruperts.

(Return to p. [111])

[50.]	E. 93	The Humerous Tricks and Conceits of Prince RobertsMalignant She-Monkey, discovered to the world before her marriage.
	9

Also the manner of her marriage to a Cavaleer, and how within three dayes space, she called him Cuckold to his face. London, printed for T. Cornish. (There is no date, but it must have been in the same year as [49.]) Catalogued Rupert. Prince.

(Return to p. [113])

[51.] C. 39, e. 58. Doctor Merry-man: or Nothing but Mirth. Written by S. R. London Printed for Samuell Rand, and are to be sold at his Shoppe neere Holborne bridge. 1616. Catalogued R. (s.)

(Return to p. [113], p. [121], p. [123], p. [138], p. [148], p. [159], p. [174])

[52.] C. 40, c. 33. Pasquil's Jests with the Merriments of Mother Bunch. Wittie pleasant, and delightfull. London. Printed by I. F. and are to be sold by William Gilbertson[²⁶⁷] at the signe of the Bible in Giltspur-street. (1650?)

(Return to p. [114], p. [120], p. [129], p. [138], p. [139], p. [147], p. [168], p. [181], p. [182], p. [184], p. [191], p. [192], p. [222], p. [223], p. [228], p. [239], p. [245], p. [259], p. [273], p. [279], p. [290], p. [312], p. [388], p. [421], p. [428])

[53.]	C. 20, f. 8	Roxburghe Ballads.
	254

(Return to p. [116])

[54.] 2044, g. Bartholomew Fayre: A Comedie, Acted in the Yeare 1614 By the Lady Elizabeths Servants, And then dedicated to King Iames, of most Blessed Memorie. By the Author, Beniamin Johnson. London. Printed by I. B. for Robert Allot, and are to be sold at the signe of the Beare, in Pauls Church-yard. 1631.

(Return to p. [130])

[55.]	C. 20, f. 7	Roxburghe Ballads.
	214

(Return to p. [124])

[56.]	C. 20, f. 7	Roxburghe Ballads.
	325

(Return to p. [134])

[57.]	C. 20, f. 7	Roxburghe Ballads.
	254

(Return to p. [142])

[58.]	669, f. 10	Single Sheets. 1646.
	105

(Return to p. [150])

[59.] Harl. MSS.	5947
	166

(Return to p. [150])

[60.]	C. 20, f. 10	Roxburghe Ballads.
	76

(Return to p. [153])

[61.] 12,315, a. 11. Mirth in abundance. Set forth and made manifest in many Jests, upon severall occasions, full of Wit and Truth. Contriv'd to relieve the Melancholy, and rejoyce the Merry, to expell sorrow, and advance Jollity. All of them New and Noble, free from Rayling, Baudery, Blasphemy or Incivility. Collected and set together by a lover of lawfull Mirth and true hearted Society. London. Printed for Francis Grove, neere the Saracens Head on Snow Hill. 1659.

(Return to p. [155], p. [159], p. [180], p. [185], p. [455])

[62.] Harl. MSS.	5947
	167

(Return to p. [157])

[63.]	C. 20, f. 7	Roxburghe Ballads.
	384

(Return to p. [159])

[64.]	E. 1351	The Astrologer's Bugg-beare: Being a briefe Description of many Pitthy Passages,
	2

(Return to p. [165])

which were brought to passe upon that day which the Astrologers pointed out for Black-Monday: Whereby wee may all see and know that God's power is beyond man's expectation. Mark well and take notice, it is worth your observation. Written by L. P. London. Printed for Sicnarf Seloc, in the Yeare of the downfall of darke Astrology, and are to be sold in Country and City, by honest, harmlesse people, that love England and its Friends. Catalogued P.(l.)

[65.] 644. b. 56. The Alchemist written by Ben Ionson.

——Neque, me ut miretur turba, laboro:

Contentus paucis lectoribus.

London printed by Thomas Snodham[²⁶⁸] for Walter Burre,[²⁶⁹]
and are sold by John Stepneth at the West End of Paules. 1612.

(Return to p. [166])

[66.]	C. 20, f. 8	Roxburghe Ballads.
	78

(Return to p. [179])

[67.] Ad. MSS. 15,227. Sir John Harringtons Epigrams.

(Return to p. [175], p. [182], p. [183], p. [347], p. [354], p. [360], p. [375], p. [388], p. [389], p. [391])

[68.]	C. 20, f. 9	Roxburghe Ballads.
	212

(Return to p. [176])

[69.]	E. 1351	No-Body his Complaint.
	5

Dialogue between Master No-Body, and Doctour Some-Body.
A delightfull Discourse, by George Baron

No-Body Why do'st thou father all thy Lies

On me? heaping Indignities

On one that never injur'd thee?

Some-Body My Words and Acts hurt No-Body.

No-Body. Som-Body hath belied me much,

No-Body sure hath cause to grutch.

London. Printed by B. Alsop,[²⁷⁰] dwelling near the Upper-Pomp in Grub Street. 1652.

(Return to p. [184])

[70.] 2044, g. Ionson's Works. Vol. I. Epigrammes. I. Booke. The Author B. I.[²⁷¹] London. 1616.[²⁷²]

(Return to p. [185], p. [200])

[71.]	C. 20, f. 9	Roxburghe Ballads.
	88

(Return to p. [187])

[72.] Grenville, 16,427. Ar't asleepe Husband? A Boulster Lecture. Stored With all variety of Witty jeasts, merry Tales, and other pleasant passages; Extracted from the choicest flowers of Philosophy, Poesy, antient and moderne History. Illustrated with Examples of incomparable constancy, in the excellent History of Philocles and Doriclea. By Philogenes Panedonius. London, Printed by R. Bishop, for Richard Best, and are to be sold at his shop neare Graies-Inne-gate in Holeborne. 1646.

(Return to p. [193], p. [194])

[73.]	C. 39, k. vol. 2	Bagford Ballads.
	171

(Return to p. [196])

[74.]	E. 1640	Here's Jack in a Box, that will Coniure the Fox, or a newList of the new Fashions now used in London.
	3

Come who buyes Jack in a Box,

That will Cunjure the Fox,

And move them to delight:

It may serve as I may say,

For to passe the time away,

In the long Winter nights,

To sit by a good fire,

When the Season doth require,

Your Body to keepe warme:

This Booke of merriment

Will yield you sweet content,

And doe you no harme.

This new merry Booke was newly Invented,

But never before this time Imprinted.

Written by Laurence Price in the moneth of October. 1656.—London,
Printed for Tho. Vere[²⁷³] at the Angel without Newgate.

(Return to p. [199])

[75.] Grenville, 11,163. The Wits, or Sport upon Sport. Being a curious Collection of several Drols and Farces, Presented and Shewn For the Merriment and Delight of Wise Men, and the Ignorant. As they have been sundry times Acted in Publique, and Private, In London at Bartholomew, In the Countrey at other Faires. In Halls and Taverns. On several Mountebancks Stages, at Charing Cross, Lincolns Inn Fields, and other places. By Several Stroleing Players, Fools, and Fidlers, and the Mountebancks Zainies with Loud Laughter, and great Applause. Written I know not when, by several Persons, I know not who, But now newly Collected by your Old Friend to please you. Francis Kirkman.[²⁷⁴] London, 1672.

(Return to p. [201], p. [204])

[76.]	C. 20, f. 7	Roxburghe Ballads.
	343

(Return to p. [207])

[77.] 12,331, b. 42. Tarlton's Jests. Drawne into these three parts. 1. His Court Witty Iests. 2. His found City Iests. 3. His Countrey-pretty Iests. full of delight, Wit and honest Mirth. London. Printed by I.H.[²⁷⁵] for Andrew Crook, and are to be sold in Pauls Church-yard, at the signe of the Beare. 1638.

(Return to p. [212], p. [218], p. [234], p. [240], p. [254], p. [271], p. [325])

[78.] C. 40, a. 22. Conceits, Clinches, Flashes, and Whimzies. Newly studied, with some Collections, but those never published before in this kinde. London. Printed by R. Hodgkinsonne for Daniel Frere, and are to be sold at the signe of the red Bull in little Brittain. 1639.

(Return to p. [213], p. [219], p. [225], p. [236], p. [240], p. [254], p. [304])

[79.]	669, f. 11	(Single Sheets) 25 Jan. 1647.
	121

(Return to p. [213])

[80.]	C. 22, e. 2	A Collection of Ballads.
	153

(Return to p. [215])

[81.] 11,623, a.a.a. 32. Epigrammes written on purpose to be read: with a Proviso that they may be understood by the Reader, being Ninety in Number: Besides two new made Satyres that attend them. By John Taylor,[²⁷⁶] at the Signe of the Poet's Head, in Phœnix Alley, neare the middle of Long Aker, or Covent Garden. London. Printed in the Yeare 1651.

(Return to p. [218])

[82.] 79, h. 22. "Wit & Mirth" in "All the Workes of Iohn Taylor the Water poet being 63 in number, collected into one Volum by the Author with sundry new Additions, Corrected, Revised, and newly Imprinted. 1630.

(Return to p. [219], p. [223], p. [234], p. [251], p. [260], p. [264], p. [273], p. [309], p. [334], p. [361], p. [376], p. [380], p. [406], p. [407], p. [413], p. [416], p. [420], p. [422], p. [423], p. [426], p. [431])

[83.]	C. 39, k. vol. 3	The Bagford Ballads.
	88

(Return to p. [220])

[84.]	C. 22, e. 2	A Collection of Ballads.
	210

(Return to p. [225])

[85.] 1078, g. 15. Covent Garden Drollery, or a Collection of all the Choice Songs, Poems, Prologues and Epilogues, Sung and Spoken at Courts and Theaters, never in Print before. Written by the refind'st Witts of the Age. And Collected by A(lexander) B(rome). London. Printed for James Magnes neer the Piazza in Russel Street. 1672. Catalogued B. (a.)

(Return to p. [229], p. [236])

[86.] 12,316, a. 27. Fragmenta Aulica, or Court and State Jests in Noble Drollery. True and Reall. Ascertained to their Times, Places and Persons. By T. S. Gent. London, Printed for H. Marsh [²⁷⁷] at the Princes Armes in Chancery Lane near Fleet street; and Jos. Coniers [²⁷⁸] at the Black Raven in the long Walk near Christ Church. 1662. Catalogued S.(t. gent.)

(Return to p. [229], p. [244], p. [287], p. [295])

[87.]	C. 20, f. 8	Roxburghe Ballads.
	407

(Return to p. [231])

[88.]	C. 22, e. 2	A Collection of Ballads.
	196

(Return to p. [241])

[89.]	C. 20, f. 7	Roxburghe Ballads.
	36

(Return to p. [246])

[90.]	C. 20, f. 7	Roxburghe Ballads.
	28

(Return to p. [255])

[91.] 12,316, a.a. 7. A Helpe to Discourse. Or A Misselany of Seriousnesse with Merriment. Consisting of witty Philosophicall, Gramaticall, and Astronomicall Questions and Answers. As also Of Epigrams, Epitaphs, Riddles, and Jests. Together with the Countrey-mans Counsellour, next his yearley Oracle or Prognostication to consult with. Contayning divers necessary Rules and Observations, of much use and consequence, beeing knowne. Now the sixt time published, and much inlarged by the former Authors W. B.[²⁷⁹] and E. P.[²⁸⁰] London. Printed by B. A. and T Fawcet, for Leonard Becket, and are to be sold at his shop in the Temple, neere the Church. 1627. Catalogued. B. (w.) and P. (e.)

(Return to p. [259], p. [267], p. [287], p. [304], p. [311], p. [319], p. [334], p. [366],)

[92.]	C. 22, e. 2	A Collection of Ballads.
	198

(Return to p. [261])

[93.] C. 40, d. 38. Merrie conceited Jests of George Peele [²⁸¹] Gentleman, sometimes a Student in Oxford. Wherein is shewed the course of his life, how he lived; a man very well knowne in the Citie of London, and elsewhere.

Buy, reade and judge

The price doe not grudge;

It will doe thee more pleasure,

Than twice so much treasure.

London. Printed by G. P. for F. Faulkner,[²⁸²] and are to be sold at his
Shop in Southwarke, neere Saint Margarets Hill. 1627.

(Return to p. [264], p. [283], p. [296], p. [309], p. [323], p. [339], p. [354], p. [373], p. [405], p. [414], p. [446])

[94.]	1080, e. 28	A choice Banquet of Witty Jests, Rare Fancies, and Pleasant Novels.
	2

Fitted for all the Lovers of Wit, Mirth, and Eloquence. Being an Addition to Archee's[²⁸³] Jests, taken out of his Closet; but never publisht by him in his life time. London. Printed by T. J. and are to be sold by Peter Dring [²⁸⁴] at the Sun in the Poultry 1660. Catalogued Armstrong (a.) Jester.

(Return to p. [267], p. [268], p. [286], p. [309], p. [318], p. [335], p. [341], p. [353], p. [357], p. [363], p. [384], p. [391], p. [392], p. [408], p. [420], p. [424], p. [427], p. [435])

[95.]	669, f. 11	Single Sheets.
	127

(Return to p. [274])

[96.]	C. 20, f. 7	Roxburghe Ballads.
	138

(Return to p. [276])

[97.] 12,316, a. 43. The Merry Dutch Miller and New Invented Windmill. Wherewith he undertaketh to grind all sorts of Women, as the Old, Decreped, Wrinkled, Blear ey'd, Long Nosed, Blind, Lame, Scolds, Jealous, Angry, Poor, Drunkards, W——, Sluts, or all others what soever. They shall come out of his Mill Young, Active, Pleasant, Handsome, Wise, Loving, Vertuous and Rich; Without any Deformity and just suteable to their Husband's Humours.

The Rich for Money, and the Poor for nothing. Composed Dialogue wise, for the Recreation of all those that are inclined to be merry, and may serve to pass away an hour in a Cold winter night (without any great offence) by a good fire side.

The Miller and the Mill you see

How throng'd with Customers they be:

Then bring your Wives unto the Mill,

And Young for Old you shall have still.

London. Printed by E. Crowch,[²⁸⁵] for F. Coles,[²⁸⁶] T. Vere,[²⁸⁶] and J. Wright.[²⁸⁶] 1672.

(Return to p. [280])

[98.]	669, f. 26	Single Sheets.
	64

(Return to p. [281])

[99.]	E. 451	A Brown Dozen of Drunkards: (Ali-ass Drink-hards) Whipt, and shipt to the Isle of Guls:
	14

for their abusing of M^r Malt the bearded son, and Barley-broth the brainlesse daughter of Sir John Barleycorne. All joco-seriously descanted to our Wine drunk, Wrath drunk, Zeale drunk, staggering Times. By one that hath drunk at S^t Patricks[²⁸⁷] Well. London. Printed by Robert Austen on Addlin-hill. 1648.

(Return to p. [286])

[100.]	669, f. 10	Single sheets.
	49

(Return to p. [293])

[101.]	C. 20, f. 2	Poetical Broadsides.
	12

(Return to p. [305])

[102.] 1076, m. 2. Humors Ordinarie. Where a man may bee verie merrie, and exceeding well used for his six-pence. At London. Printed by Edward Allde, for William Firebrand, and are to bee sold at his Shoppe in the Popes head Alley, right over against the Taverne doore. 1607. Catalogued Rowlands. (s.)

(Return to p. [309], p. [317], p. [347], p. [355])

[103.] 12,314, i. 31. Ingenii Eructus, or the Cambridge Jests, being Youths Recreation &c. By W. B. London printed for William Spiller, over against the Cross Keys in Red Lyon street, near the Fields, Holbourn, 1700. Price bound 1^s/

(Return to p. [311], p. [317], p. [335], p. [349], p. [359], p. [375], p. [380], p. [390], p. [396],)

[104.]	C. 39, vol. 2.	Bagford Ballads.
	111

(Return to p. [312])

[105.] 1080, e. 26. The First and best Part of Scoggins Jests. Full of witty mirth and pleasant shifts, done by him in France, and other places: being a preservative against melancholy. Gathered by Andrew Boord, Doctor of Physicke. London. Printed for Francis Williams 1626.

(Return to p. [316], p. [332], p. [341], p. [353], p. [361], p. [384], p. [390], p. [398], p. [407], p. [414], p. [423], p. [429], p. [435])

[106.]	669, f. 6	Single Sheets.
	12

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[107.]	(C. 22, e. 2)	English Ballads.
	5

(Return to p. [327])

[108.]	C. 22, e. 2	English Ballads.
	66

(Return to p. [336])

[109.]	C. 22, e. 2	English Ballads.
	69

(Return to p. [343])

[110.] C. 39, d. 2. The Pleasant Conceites of Old Hobson the merry Londoner, full of humorous discourses, and witty merriments. Whereat the quickest wittes may laugh, and the Wiser sort take pleasure. Printed at London for John Wright, and are to be sold at his shoppe neere Christ Church gate, 1607. Catalogued Johnson (r.)

(Return to p. [346], p. [356], p. [362], p. [375], p. [385], p. [389], p. [395], p. [404], p. [413], p. [420], p. [427])

[111.]	C. 22, e. 2	English Ballads.
	67

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[112.]	C. 22, e. 2	English Ballads.
	141

(Return to p. [357])

[113.]	669, f. 16	Single Sheets—Sep. 1652.
	66

(Return to p. [363])

[114.]	C. 22, e. 2	English Ballads.
	43

(Return to p. [366])

[115.]	C. 20, f. 4. vol. 2	Luttrell Collection.
	84

(Return to p. [377])

[116.] Newspapers, 1681, vol. 3. Heraclitus Ridens: at a Dialogue between Jest and Earnest, concerning the Times. Numb. 15. Tuesday May 10, 1681.

(Return to p. [380])

[117.]	816, m. 19	An exact Accompt of the Receipts and Disbursements Expended by the Committee of Safety.
	38

Upon the Emergent Occasions of the Nation. Delivered in by M^r R. Secretary to the said Committee, to prevent false Reports, and prejudicate Censures. London. Printed for Jer. Hanzen. 1660.

(Return to p. [381])

[118.]	C. 20, f. 4 vol. 2	(The Luttrell Collection) Inamorato and Misogamos;or a Love Song Mock'd.
	103

(Return to p. [383])

London. Printed for H. Brome, at the Gun, at the West End of S^t Pauls. 1675.

[119.]	C. 39, k. vol. 2	Bagford Ballads.
	61

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[120.]	C. 22, e. 2	English Ballads.
	82

(Return to p. [392])

[121.] C. 39, b. 39. Wit and Drollery, Joviall Poems: Corrected and much amended with Additions, By Sir J. M. Ja. S. Sir W. D. J. D.[²⁸⁸] and the most refined Wits of the Age. London. Printed for Nath Brook, at the Angel in Cornhil, 1661. Catalogued M. (e.) (The Editor of this edition.)

(Return to p. [396], p. [421])

[122.]	C. 22, e. 2	English Ballads.
	52

(Return to p. [399])

[123.]	669, f. 16	Old Sayings and predictions verified.
	13

(Return to p. [403])

[124.]	C. 20, f. 8	Roxburghe Ballads.
	376

(Return to p. [408])

[125.]	C. 20, f. 7	Roxburghe Ballads.
	34

(Return to p. [125])

[126.]	C. 39, k. vol. 2	Bagford Collection.
	58

(Return to p. [424])

[127.] 1078, e. 32. Wit and Mirth; or Pills to purge Melancholy. Being a Collection of the best Merry Ballads and Songs, Old and New. Fitted to all Humours, having each there proper Tune for either Voice or Instrument, many of the Songs being a new Set. &c—London. Printed by Will. Pearson, for Henry Playford. at his Shop in the Temple Change. 1699.

(No entries)

[128.]	669, f. 10	Catalogue of the severall Sects and Opinions in England and other Nations,
	111

With a briefe Rehearsall of their false and dangerous Tenents. Printed for R. A. 1647.

(Return to p. [252])

[²⁵³] T. Passenger published between 1670 and 1682.

[²⁵⁴] Sir John Menzies, James Smith, Sir William Davenant, and John Dryden. The dedication and preface signed J. P., i.e. John Playford, a publisher and writer of prefaces of that period.

[²⁵⁵] Nathaniel Brook published between 1661 and 1668.

[²⁵⁶] John Budge was in business in 1609, as one of the Roxburghe Ballads shows.

[²⁵⁷] Query, Royal Exchange.

[²⁵⁸] Cademan also published in 1675, as one of the Roxburghe Ballads bears that date.

[²⁵⁹] Nothing is known of Capt. Wm. Hickes, except as being the author of Oxford Drolleries and Oxford Jests.

[²⁶⁰] Published between 1650 and 1687.

[²⁶¹] Rowland Reynolds published also in 1671.

[²⁶²] Published from 1631 to 1660. Mr. Halliwell reprinted this little book in 1866. He says, "It is believed to be unique. It is an edition with many variations of the old Book of Riddles alluded to by Slender." The copy in the British Museum has a pencil note, "Cost me ten pounds unbound." It is in black letter.

[²⁶³] This, as far as I can learn, is the only year of his publishing.

[²⁶⁴] These (said to be the invention of Prince Rupert) are small pear-shaped bubbles of glass, formed by dropping melted glass in water. They will bear a smart stroke on the thick end, but if the thin end is fractured, which is done very easily, they are resolved into a very fine powder, bursting with a slight explosion. These toys are easily procurable.

[²⁶⁵] Jane Coe published between 1644 and 1647.

[²⁶⁶] Probably G. Bishop, who published from 1641 to 1644.

[²⁶⁷] Gilbertson published between 1640 and 1663.

[²⁶⁸] Alias East, published between 1609 and 1612.

[²⁶⁹] Certainly published in 1600.

[²⁷⁰] Published between 1650 and 1652.

[²⁷¹] Ben Jonson.

[²⁷²] I cannot find a separate edition of these Epigrams, although there is this entry in the Register of the Stationers Company: "John Stepneth. 15^to Maii 1612. Entred for his Copy vnder th' (h)andes of master Nydd, and Th(e) wardens, A booke called, Ben Johnson his Epigrams. vj^d."

[²⁷³] He published from 1648 to 1680.

[²⁷⁴] Kirkman also published in 1661.

[²⁷⁵] In all probability Joseph Hunt in Bedlem, near Moore field gate, who printed in 1613.

[²⁷⁶] The "Water Poet."

[²⁷⁷] Published 1660, 1661.

[²⁷⁸] Or Conyers, was also in Fetter Lane, Duck Lane, on Holborn Hill, and at the Anchor and Bible adjoining St. Peter's Alley, Cornhill, published 1682-1691.

[²⁷⁹] William Basse.

[²⁸⁰] Edward Phillips, author of Theatrum Poetarum, or a Compleat Collection of the Poets. Lond. 1675.

[²⁸¹] He was a dramatic author, and an acquaintance both of Shakespeare and Ben Jonson. He led what we should term a somewhat "fast life."

[²⁸²] He lived "over against St. Margaret's Hill in Southwark," and published one of the Roxburghe ballads in 1631.

[²⁸³] Archie Armstrong, Court Jester to James I. and Charles I.

[²⁸⁴] There was another of this name, T. Dring, who lived in Fleet Street, and published between 1650 and 1687.

[²⁸⁵] Published from 1658 to 1674.

[²⁸⁶] Although separate publishers, they were occasionally partners, and as such published from 1655 to 1680.

[²⁸⁷] A cant Irish term for the best whisky.

[²⁸⁸] See No. [3] and footnote (Footnote [²⁵⁵]).

SOME OF THE TUNES
noted
in this Book.

Transcriber's Note:

Footnotes are numbered consecutively through the book, ¹ to ²⁸⁸, and placed below the snippet/poem/article etc. to which they refer.

The other numbers in square brackets, e.g. [61.], are references to publications listed at the end of the book.

(Some numbers are used multiple times. Online readers could use the Back button, or Back arrow, to return from Endnotes. 'Return to p. ' numbers have been supplied as an aid for devices without Back buttons.)

Special Notes, (a. - u.), are specific to one poem. They are placed, as in the original, after each stanza.

Sidenotes are used for one poem, and are placed to the right of the text, in the margin.

Punctuation is somewhat irregular, and not always present. Opening quotes are not always closed, and sometimes the closing quote is many paragraphs after the opening quote. Punctuation has not been regularised. Some punctuation is older style, as : for . Some missing or damaged punctuation has been repaired.

The spelling is not necessarily consistent. A word or name can be spelt several ways in the same article. All logical variants have been retained.

'I' often means 'aye' (meaning 'yes'), even in the same sentence as 'I' the personal pronoun.

The spelling of this book is from the 17th Century, when modern spelling rules did not apply.

Apostrophes (of ownership) were usually absent.

Dashes frequently replace letters in censored words, leaving the astute reader able to guess the word, while not falling foul of officialdom.

Page 3: King Harry groates

Harry was King Henry; a groat was an old English silver coin, first coined by Henry III in 1249, and by Edward III in 1351. Originally worth one penny, it later rose to the value of fourpence. The groat was revived between 1836 and 1856, and withdrawn from circulation in 1887 (from Collins New Age Encyclopedia, 1963).

Page 104: Pr. Rob. Dog corrected to Pr. Rup. Dog (printer's error).

Page 147: 'I'l.' sic. "and therefore I'l. light."

Page 150: 'I, i and J, j were often interchangeable:

Puss my aple gainst thy mouse jle lay The gam's mine jf thast ne'r a trump to play

would perhaps today be written

Puss my apple 'gainst thy mouse I'll lay The game's mine if thou hast ne'er a trump to play

but this book is 17th century....

Page 182: 'of his freind'. "Freind" was a normal 17th century spelling of 'friend'.

Page 268: [94*.] is as printed. The reason for the asterisk is unclear.

Page 275: 60000l. l is short for 'libra' (Latin) = £ (pound/pounds); so, £60,000.

Page 318, Footnote 201: 'Whitlocke' and 'Whitelocke' both occur. Wikipedia favours 'Whitelocke', but both spellings have been retained.

Page 333: 'is' corrected to 'in'.

"the Hare went through a Muse²¹¹ in a Hedg where a Carpenter had hid his Axe,..."

Page 437 et seq.: Appendix. Traditional Printers had the luxury of being able to assign an absolute width to the pages of printed books. The text of online books is of variable width, depending on the computer size or the mobile medium chosen by the reader. Accordingly, entries containing British Museum reference numbers in the style of fractions may not wrap appropriately for some online or mobile devices. It is practically impossible to render these entries at a correct width to suit all reading devices. Shorter, but readable lines were deemed better than overlaps.

Page 438: 'woood' corrected to 'wood

"Being a Mock to the Crab of the Wood, and to that Tune:"

Page 440: Printed for R. Jackson 1643.²⁶³; Printed for I. Underwood 1643.²⁶³ This is not an error: the same footnote (²⁶³ This, as far as I can learn, is the only year of his publishing.) would appear to apply to both publishers.