The Welch Mans Inventory.
Han Infentory of the Couds of William Morgan, ap Renald, ap Hugh, ap Richard, ap Thomas, ap Evan, ap Rice, in the County of Clamorgan, Shentleman.
Imprimis. In the Pantry of Poultry (for hur own eating) One creat Pig four Week old, one Coose, one Cock Gelding, two Black puddings, three Cow-foots.
Item. In the Pantry of Plate, one Grid-iron, one Fripan, one Tripan, three Wooden Ladle, three Cann.
Item. In the Napery, two Towel, two Table Cloath, four Napkin, one for hurself, one for hur Wife Shone, two for Cusen Shon ap Powell and Thomas ap Hugh, when was come to hur House.
Hur Pantry
Hur Cattle
Hur Armory
Item. In the Wardrope, one Irish Rugg, one Frize Sherkin, one Sheepskin Tublet,[43] Two Irish Stocking, two Shooe, six leather Points.
Item. In the Tary,[44] one Toasting Shees, three oaten Cake, three Pint of Cow Milk, one pound of Cow Butter.
Item in the Kitchen, one Pan with white Curd, two White pot, two Red Herring, nine Sprat.
Item. In the Cellar, one Firkin of Wiggan, two Gallon sower Sider, one Pint of Perry, one little Pottle of Carmarden Sack, alias Metheglin.
Item. In the Armory of Weapon, to kill her Enemy, One Pack Sword, two edge, two Welsh-hook, three long Club one Cunn, one Mouse trap.
Item. In the Carden, One Ped Carlike, nine Onion, twelve Leek, twelve Worm, twelve Frog.
Item. In the Leas-way. Two Tun Cow, one Mountain Calf.
Item. In the Common-field, Two Welch Nag, twelve long leg'd Sheep, fourteen and twenty Coat.
Item. In the Proom Close, three Robin Run-hole, four Hare, hur own Coods if hur can catch hur.
Item. In the Parn one half Heblet of Oate, seven Pea, two Pean.
Item. In the Study (py Cot hur was almost forgot hur) One Welch Pible, two Almanack, one Erra Pater,[45] one Seven Champions[46] for St Taffy sake, twelve Pallat,[47] one Pedigree.
Item. In the Closet Two Straw hat, one louse.
Item. In the Ped. Two naked Pody, one Shirt, one Flannel smock at hur Ped's head.
Item. More Cattle about the House. Two Tog, three Cat, twelve Mouse (pox on hur, was eat hur toot Cheese) 1000 White Flea with black Pack.
Item. More Lumber about the House. One Wife, two Shild, one call hur Plack Shack, and t'other little Morgan.
Item. In the Yard under the Wall, one Wheel, two Pucket, one Ladder, two Rope.
This Inventory taken Note in the presence of hur own Cusen Rowland Merideth ap Howel and Lowellin Morgan ap William in Anno 1849,[48] upon the Ten and Thirtieth of Shune.
The above named William Morgan dyed when hur had threescore and twenty years, thirteen Months, one Week and Seven days.
A NOTE of some LEGACY of a creat deal of Coods, bequeathed to hur Wife and hur two Shild, and all hur Cusens, and Friends and Kindred in the Manner as followeth.
Imprimis. Was give hur teer Wife, Shone Morgan, awl hur Coods in the Ped, over the Ped, and under the Ped.
Item. Was give to hur eldest Son Plack Shack, 40 and 12 Card to play at Whipper Shinny 4 Try to sheat hur Cusen: besides awl her Land to the fule value of 20 and 10 shillings 3 groats per Annum.
Item. Was give to hur second Son, Little Morgan ap Morgan, hur short ladder under the Wall in the Yard and two Rope.[49]
Item. Was give to hur Cusen Rowland Merideth ap Howell and Lewellin Morgan whom was made her Executor, full power to pay awl hur Tet, when hur can get Money.
Seal'd and deliver'd in the Presence of Evan ap Richard, ap Shinkin, ap Shone, hur own Cusen the Tay and Year above written.
Licens'd and Enter'd.
London. Printed by and for W. O.[50] and sold by the Booksellers.
[43] Doublet.
[44] Dairy.
[45] An astrological almanac.
[46] Chap-book of the "Seven Champions of Christendom."
[47] Ballads.
[48] Probably antedated two centuries to make it more comical.
[49] Is this legacy a gentle intimation to his son that he may hang himself?
[50] Is this William Onley, who published from 1650 to 1702?
Upon one Day that ran away, and laid the Key under Door.
[25.]Here Night and Day conspire a cheating flight,
For Day they say, is run away by Night.
The Day is past, why, Landlord! where's your rent,
Cou'd you not see the Day is almost spent.
Had you but Kept the Watch well, I suppose,
'Twas no hard thing to Know how the Day goes?
Day sold and pawn'd and put off what he might,
Though it were ne'er so dark, Day would be light:
That he away with so much Rent should get,
Though Day were light, 'twas no light matter yet.
You had one Day a Tenant, and wou'd fain
Your Eyes might one day see that Day again.
No, Landlord, No; you now may truly say,
And to your cost too, you have lost a Day,
By twy-light Day is neither Day nor Night;
What then? 'twixt both, he's an Hermaphrodite.
Day is departed in a Mist, I fear,
For Day is broke, yet does not Day appear:
His pale face now does Day in Owl light shrowd,
Truth is, at present Day's under a Cloud.
If you wou'd meet with Day you must be wiser,
And up betimes, for Day's an early riser.
Broad Day is early up, but you begin
To rouze, and then broad Day is shutting in.
From Sun to Sun are the set times of Pay,
But you should have been up by break of Day:
Yet if you had? you had got nothing by 't.
For Day was Cunning and broke over Night.
Day like a Candle is gone out, and where,
None knows, except to th' other Hemisphear.
You must go look the Day with Candle light,
This Day was sure begotten in the Night.
The Lanthorn-looker,[51] if he now began,
Might find the Day, but scarce the honest Man.
Well, Day farewel; be't spoke to thy small praise
There's little honesty found now a Day's.
In vain you do yourself this trouble give,
You'l never make an even day while you live;
And yet, who trusted him for any Summe,
Might have their mony, if the Day were come.
And when will that be; when the Devil's blind;
You will this Day at the Greek Calends find.
For, if the Sun doth hang behind the Change,
If you can find the Day before 'tis strange.
Then to the Tavern, Landlord, let's away,
Chear up your heart, hang't, 'tis a broken Day.
And for your Rent, never thus Rent your Soul,
E're long you'l see Day at a little hole:
Look at the Counter[52] when you go that way,
Early enough, and you'l see peep of Day.
But how now Landlord? what's the matter pray?
What, can't you sleep, you do so long for Day?
Have you a mind, Sir, to arrest the Day?
There's no such Sergeant as a Joshua.
Why, Landlord, is the Quarter out I pray;
That you Keep such a quarter for the Day?
Put off your passion, pray; true, 'tis a Summe:
But don't you know that a Pay-day will come?
I'le warrant you, do you but banish sorrow,
My life for yours, Day comes again to morrow.
[51] Diogenes.
[52] One of the city prisons.
[26.] A Person of Quality in this Kingdom, was one night at Supper at Pickadilly house which was then an Ordinary and great Gaming House, where he had bowled all day; and after Supper he call'd for some Cheese, which it seems was very thin and lean; then he ask't the Master of the House, where those Cows went, of whose Milk that Cheese was made? He told him they graz'd not far off; then he swore a great Oath that he was Confident that they never fed in any other place than his Bowling Alley, which was made good by the fatness of the Cheese they now tasted of, for it cries Rub, rub, in the eating of it, when 'tis so long a going down.
Another person of Quality also, in this Kingdom, amongst other Gentlemen, did often meet at a Bowling Ally, which stood next to the Church-yard; and the Parson of that Church had this Benefit, That if any did swear there, he was to have 12d for every Oath: This Person aforesaid, happened to swear a great Goliah Oath, upon which the Parson demanded 12d. which he gave him; and after that swore many others, for which he paid 12d a piece; and then swearing another, he demanded 12d as before; then he pluckt out of his pocket a 20 Shilling piece and bid him give him 19s. again. Sir, says he, I cannot. Why then, says he, take it for I intend to swear it out.
THE GREAT BOOBEE.[53]
To a pleasant New Tune or Sallenger's Round.
[28.]My Friend, if you will understand
my Fortunes what they are,
I once had Cattell, House and Land,
but now I am never the near;
My Father left a good estate,
as I may tell to thee,
I couzned was of all I had,
like a great Boobee.
I went to School with a good intent,
and for to learn my Book,
And all the day I went to play,
in it I never did look:
Full seven years, or very nigh,
as I may tell to thee,
I could hardly say my Christ Cross Row,[54]
like a great Boobee.
My Father then in all the haste,
did set me to the Plow,
And for to lash the Horse about,
indeed I knew not how:
My Father took his Whip in his hand,
and soundly lashed me,
He call'd me Fool and Country Clown,
and great Boobee.
But I did from my Father run,
for I will plow no more,
Because he so had slashed me,
and made my sides so sore:
But I will go to London Town
some Vashions for to see,
When I came there, they call'd me Clown
and great Boobee.
But as I went along the street,
I carried my Hat in my hand,
And to every one that I did meet,
I bravely bust[55] my hand:
Some did laugh, and some did scoff,
and some did mock at me,
And some did say I was a Woodcock,
and a great Boobee.
Then did I walk in hast to Paul's
the Steeple for to view,
Because I heard some people say,
it must be builded new;
Then I got up unto the top,
the City for to see,
It was so high, it made me Cry
like a great Boobee.
From thence I went to Westminster
and for to see the Tombs,
Ah, said I, what a house is here,
with an infinite sight of Rooms?
Sweetly the Abby bells did ring,
it was a fine sight to see,
Methought I was going to Heaven in a string
like a great Boobee.
But as I went along the Street
the most part of the day,
Many gallants did I meet
methought they were very gay:
I blew my Nose and foul'd my Hose,
some people did me see,
They said I was a Beastly Fool,
and a great Boobee.
Next day I through Pye Corner past
the roast meat on the Stall
Invited me to take a taste
my Money was but small:
The Meat I pickt, the Cook me kickt
as I may tell to thee,
He beat me sore, and made me rore,
like a great Boobee.
As I through Smithfield lately walkt
a gallant Lass I met
Familiarly with me she talkt,
which I cannot forget:
She proferr'd me a pint of Wine,
methought she was wondrous free,
To the Tavern then I went with her,
like a great Boobee.
She told me we were neer of kin,
and call'd for Wine good store,
Before the reckoning was brought in
my Cousin proved a ——:
My Purse she pickt, and went away,
my Cousin couzned me,
The Vintner kickt me out of door,
like a great Boobee.
At the Exchange when I came there,
I saw most gallant things,
I thought the Pictures living were
of all our English Kings:
I doft my Hat, and made a Leg,
and kneeled on my knee,
The people laught, and call'd me Fool,
and great Boobee.
To Paris Garden[56] then I went,
where there is great resort,
My pleasure was my punishment,
I did not like the sport:
The Garden Bull with his stout horns
on high then tossed me,
I did bewray myself with fear,
like a great Boobee.
Then o're the Water did I pass,
as you shall understand,
I dropt into the Thames alas
before I came to Land:
The Water-man did help me out,
and thus did say to me,
Tis not thy fortune to be drown'd
like a great Boobee.
But I have learned so much wit,
shall shorten all my cares,
If I can but a License get
to play before the Bears:
'Twill be a gallant place indeed,
as I may tell to thee
Then who dare call me Fool or Ass
or great Boobee.
Printed for F. Coles,[57] in Wine Street, on Saffron Hill near Hatton Garden.
[53] For tune see [Appendix].
[54] The alphabet, so called because in the old Horn books the letters, which were of course in a row, commenced with a Cross. In Morley's Introduction to Practical Music (printed 1597) is the following: "Christes Crosse be my speed, in all vertue to proceede A. b. c. d. e. f. g. h. i. k. l. m. n. o. p. q. r. s. and t. double u. v. with y, ezod & per se, con per se, tittle, tittle est. Amen. When you have done begin again, begin again!"
[55] Kissed (bussed).
[56] A place at Bankside, Southwark, famous for bull and bear baiting.
[57] Francis Coles published between 1646 and 1674.
[18.] A pleasant Fancy of an Italian by name Trivelino, Who falling asleep one Day, with his Horse's Bridle twisted in his Arm, another came who unbridled his Horse and got away. Trivelino being awaked, and missing his Horse began to feel himself about, saying Either I am Trivelino, or not: If I am Trivelino my Horse is lost; If not, I have got a Bridle, but know not how.
[12.]A simple Fellow lookt
On a dish that was cookt,
Wherein was a Calves Head by name;
One told him, 'twas so clear,
If he lookt very near,
He might see his face in the same.
Ad Johannuelem Leporem, Lepidissimum;
Carmen Heroicum.
[24.]I sing the furious battails of the Sphœres
Acted in eight and twenty fathom deep,
And from that (a) time, reckon so many yeares
You'l find (b) Endimion fell fast asleep.
a. There began the Utopian accompt of years. Mor: Lib 1. circa finem.
b. Endimion was a handsome young Welshman, whom one Luce Moone lov'd for his sweet breath; and would never hang off his lips; but he not caring for her, eat abundance of toasted cheese, purposely to make his breath unsavory; upon which she left him presently, and ever since 'tis proverbially spoken (as inconstant as Luce Moone). The Vatican coppy of Hesiod reades her name Mohun, but contractedly it is Moone. Hesiod. lib 4. tom. 3.
And now assist me O ye (c) Musiques nine
That tell the Orbs in order as they fight
And thou dread (d) Atlas with thine eyes so fine,
Smile on me now that first begin to write.
c. For all the Orbes make Musick in their motion. Berosus de Sphera, lib 3.
d. Atlas was a Porter in Mauritania, and because by reason of his strength, he bore burthens of stupendious weight, the Poets fain'd that he carried the Heavens on his shoulders. Cicero de nat Deorum. lib. 7.
(e) Pompey that once was Tapster of New June,
And fought with Cæsar on th' (f) Æmathian plaines,
First with his dreadful (g) Myrmidons came in,
And let them blood in the Hepatick veines.
e. There were two others of this name. Aldermen of Rome. Tit. Liv. hist. lib. 28.
f. Æmathia is a very faire Common in Northampton shire. Strabo. lib 321.
g. These Myrmidons were Cornish-men and sent by Bladud, sometime king of this Realme, to ayd Pompey. Cæsar de bello. civili. lib. 14.
But then an Antelope in Sable blew,
Clad like the (h) Prince of Aurange in his cloke,
Studded with Satyres, on his Army drew,
And presently (i) Pheander's Army broke.
h. It seemes not to be meant by Count Henry but his brother Maurice, by comparing his picture to the thing here spoken of. Jansen, de præd. lib 22.
i. Pheander was so modest, that he was called the Maiden Knight; and yet so valiant, that a French Cavaleer wrote his life, and called his book Pheander the Maiden Knight. Hon. d'Urfee. Tom 45.
(k) Philip for hardiness sirnamed Chub,
In Beauty equall to fork bearing (l) Bacchus,
Made such a thrust at (m) Phœbe with his Club,
That made the (n) Parthians cry she will —— us.
k. This seems not to be that king that was Son of Amintas, and king of Macedon; but one who it seems was very lascivious.
l. Bacchus was a drunken yeoman of the Guard to Queen Elizabeth and a great Archer; so that it seems the Authour mistooke his halbert for a forke.
m. This was Long-Megg[58] of Westminster, who after this conflict with Phillip followed him in all his warres. Justinian. lib 35.
n. These were Lancashire-men and sent by King Gorbadug (for this war seemes to have been in the time of the Heptarchy in England) to the aide of Cæsar. Cæsar. lib. citat. prope finem.
A subtle Gloworme lying in a hedge,
And heard the story of sweet cheek't (o) Apollo,
Snatch'd from bright (p) Styropes his Antick sledge,
And to the butter'd Flownders cry'd out (q) Holla.
o. Apollo was Cæsars Page, and a Monomapatan by birth, whose name by inversion was Ollopa: which in the old language of that Country, signifies as much as faire youth: but Euphoniæ Gratia, called Apollo. Gor. Bec. lib. 46.
p. Styropes was a lame Smith's-man dwelling in St. John's Street; but how he was called Bright I know not, except it were by reason of the Luster of his eyes.
q. Holla, mistaken for Apollo.
Holla you pamper'd Jades, quoth he, look here,
And mounting straight upon a Lobsters thigh,
An English man inflam'd with (r) double Beere,
Swore nev'r to (s) drink to Man, a Woman by.
r. Cervisia (apud Medicos, vinum hordeaceum) potus est Anglis longè charismus; Inventum Ferrarii Londinensis, Cui nomen Smuggo. Polydor. Virgil. de Invent. rerum. lib. 2.
s. Impp. Germaniæ, antiquitus solebant, statis temporibus, adire Basingstochium; ubi, de more, Jusjurandum solenne præstabant, de non viro propinando, præsente muliere. Hic Mos, jamdudum apud Anglos, pene vim legis obtinuit; quippe gens illa, longe humanissima morem istum, in hodiernum usque diem, magna Curiositate, pari Comitate conjuncta, usurpant. Pancirol. utriusque imperii. lib. 6. cap 5.
By this time grew the conflict to be (t) hot,
Boots against boots, 'gainst (u) Sandals, Sandals fly,
Many poor thirsty men went to the pot,
Feathers lopt off, spurrs every where did lie.
Cætera desiderantur.
t. It seems this was a great battail, both by the furie of it, and the aydes of each side; but hereof read more in Cornel. Tacit. lib. de moribus German.
u. This is an imitation of Lucan. "Signis Signa & pila" &c. Pharsalia. lib. 1. in principio.
[58] A virago who lived temp. Henry VIII.
Of Treason.
[16.]Treason doth never prosper; what's the reason?
For if it prosper, none dare call it Treason.
[12.]A miserable Jack
Gave a little glass of Sack.
To a Lass that liv'd at the Spittle;
'Tis old wine, says he,
That's a wonder, says she,
To be old, and yet so little.
[18.] 'Tis said of one who well remembred what he had lent, but forgot what he had borrowed, that he had lost one half of his Memory.
On the word intollerable.
[5.]Two gentlemen did to a Tavern come,
And call'd the drawer for to shew a room,
The drawer did, and what room think ye was't?
One of the small ones, where men drink in haste;
One gentleman sat down there, but the other
Dislik'd it, would not sit, call'd for another:
At which his friend, rising up from the table,
Cryes, friend, let's stay, this room is tollerable:
Why, that's the cause (quoth hee) I will not stay,
Is that the cause, quoth th' other? why, I pray?
To give a reason to you, I am able,
Because I hate to be in—Tollerable.
[26.] A Gentleman coming drunk to Bed over night, in the morning could not find his breeches: then he knock'd for the Chamberlain: Sir, says he, if you are sure you brought them in with you, you had best search your pockets for them, for you lost all your Money last Night out of your Pockets, it may be your Breeches are got in there.