A CONTENTED IDLER

From 'M. Poirier's Son-in-Law'

[The party are leaving the dining-room.]

Gaston--Well, Hector! What do you think of it? The house is just as you see it now, every day in the year. Do you believe there is a happier man in the world than I?

Duke--Faith! I envy you; you reconcile me to marriage.

Antoinette [in a low voice to Verdelet]--Monsieur de Montmeyran is a charming young man!

Verdelet [in a low voice]--He pleases me.

Gaston [to Poirier, who comes in last]--Monsieur Poirier, I must tell you once for all how much I esteem you. Don't think I'm ungrateful.

Poirier--Oh! Monsieur!

Gaston--Why the devil don't you call me Gaston? And you, too, dear Monsieur Verdelet, I'm very glad to see you.

Antoinette--He is one of the family, Gaston.

Gaston--Shake hands then, Uncle.

Verdelet [aside, giving him his hand]--He's not a bad fellow.

Gaston--Agree, Hector, that I've been lucky. Monsieur Poirier, I feel guilty. You make my life one long fête and never give me a chance in return. Try to think of something I can do for you.

Poirier--Very well, if that's the way you feel, give me a quarter of an hour. I should like to have a serious talk with you.

Duke--I'll withdraw.

Poirier--No, stay, Monsieur. We are going to hold a kind of family council. Neither you nor Verdelet will be in the way.

Gaston--The deuce, my dear father-in-law. A family council! You embarrass me!

Poirier--Not at all, dear Gaston. Let us sit down.

[They seat themselves around the fireplace.]

Gaston--Begin, Monsieur Poirier.

Poirier--You say you are happy, dear Gaston, and that is my greatest recompense.

Gaston--I'm willing to double your gratification.

Poirier--But now that three months have been given to the joys of the honeymoon, I think that there has been romance enough, and that it's time to think about history.

Gaston--You talk like a book. Certainly, we'll think about history if you wish. I'm willing.

Poirier--What do you intend to do?

Gaston--To-day?

Poirier--And to-morrow, and in the future. You must have some idea.

Gaston--True, my plans are made. I expect to do to-day what I did yesterday, and to-morrow what I shall do to-day. I'm not versatile, in spite of my light air; and if the future is only like the present I'll be satisfied.

Poirier--But you are too sensible to think that the honeymoon can last forever.

Gaston--Too sensible, and too good an astronomer. But you've probably read Heine?

Poirier--You must have read that, Verdelet?

Verdelet--Yes; I've read him.

Poirier--Perhaps he spent his life at playing truant.

Gaston--Well, Heine, when he was asked what became of the old full moons, said that they were broken up to make the stars.

Poirier--I don't understand.

Gaston--When our honeymoon is old, we'll break it up and there'll be enough to make a whole Milky Way.

Poirier--That is a clever idea, of course.

Gaston--Its only merit is simplicity.

Poirier--But seriously, don't you think that the idle life you lead may jeopardize the happiness of a young household?

Gaston--Not at all.

Verdelet--A man of your capacity can't mean to idle all his life.

Gaston--With resignation.

Antoinette--Don't you think you'll find it dull after a time, Gaston?

Gaston--You calumniate yourself, my dear.

Antoinette--I'm not vain enough to suppose that I can fill your whole existence, and I admit that I'd like to see you follow the example of Monsieur de Montmeyran.

Gaston [rising and leaning against the mantelpiece]--Perhaps you want me to fight?

Antoinette--No, of course not.

Gaston--What then?

Poirier--We want you to take a position worthy of your name.

Gaston--There are only three positions which my name permits me: soldier, bishop, or husbandman. Choose.

Poirier--We owe everything to France. France is our mother.

Verdelet--I understand the vexation of a son whose mother remarries; I understand why he doesn't go to the wedding: but if he has the right kind of heart he won't turn sulky. If the second husband makes her happy, he'll soon offer him a friendly hand.

Poirier--The nobility cannot always hold itself aloof, as it begins to perceive. More than one illustrious name has set the example: Monsieur de Valcherrière, Monsieur de Chazerolles, Monsieur de Mont Louis--

Gaston--These men have done as they thought best. I don't judge them, but I cannot imitate them.

Antoinette--Why not, Gaston?

Gaston--Ask Montmeyran.

Verdelet--The Duke's uniform answers for him.

Duke--Excuse me, a soldier has but one opinion--his duty; but one adversary--the enemy.

Poirier--However, Monsieur--

Gaston--Enough, it isn't a matter of politics, Monsieur Poirier. One may discuss opinions, but not sentiments. I am bound by gratitude. My fidelity is that of a servant and of a friend. Not another word. [To the Duke.] I beg your pardon, my dear fellow. This is the first time we've talked politics here, and I promise you it shall be the last.

The Duke [in a low voice to Antoinette]--You've been forced into making a mistake, Madame.

Antoinette--I know it, now that it's too late.

Verdelet [softly, to Poirier]--Now you're in a fine fix.

Poirier [in same tone]--He's repulsed the first assault, but I don't raise the siege.

Gaston--I'm not resentful, Monsieur Poirier. Perhaps I spoke a little too strongly, but this is a tender point with me, and unintentionally you wounded me. Shake hands.

Poirier--You are very kind.

A Servant--There are some people in the little parlor who say they have an appointment with Monsieur Poirier.

Poirier--Very well, ask them to wait a moment. [The servant goes out.] Your creditors, son-in-law.

Gaston--Yours, my dear father-in-law. I've turned them over to you.

Duke--As a wedding present.