103. Her “Lot.”
Your letter to hand reminding me of my promise to let you have a few details of my neighbour’s life. At first she hesitated about telling anything, as she said it was all past and done with, and at times felt ashamed at having had thirteen children, especially to a man like her husband (who is a drunkard). She looks back on her past life at the age of forty-eight with different feelings to what she had at thirty. Then she thought it was her “lot,” as she terms it, to have so many children, and so many sickly ones, but now she feels she has been to blame for many things—for instance, for the number of children she has had; for the dulness and lack of energy in two of them; for the feeble-mindedness in a third; deafness and sore eyes in a fourth. She blames the conditions under which she bore those children during pregnancy. She was married at nineteen, and a mother before she was twenty, with no knowledge whatever of the duties of motherhood. Her first five children came in rapid succession. While she was pregnant of her sixth child her husband fell out of work, and was out of work six months. During this time they had 10s. a week to live on (from the husband’s trade union). She went out washing and cleaning-up to the last week of her confinement. While cleaning windows at one of the houses she slipped and fell, hurting her side. Three days later the child was born, apparently all right, but as time went on the mother noticed there was something wrong, but nobody seemed to know what. This child did not cut its teeth till two years old, nor walk without help till it was seven, and now, at the age of eighteen, you can hardly make out a word he says. He is not exactly an imbecile, but he is feeble-minded, and all this could have been avoided could the mother have had proper nourishment during pregnancy, and less work. The mother had to work hard all day, and got little rest at night, as the fifth child was weakly and ailing, and the neighbour who looked after the child during the day used to put gin in its milk to stop its crying, which it did till the effects of the gin had passed off. The poor mother, not knowing that gin was given to the child, would often, after a hard day’s work, spend most of the night pacing the bedroom floor, trying to soothe the fretful child, and often had to go downstairs because the crying disturbed her husband. It was not until her sixth child came, the feeble-minded one, that the neighbour admitted giving it gin. Consequently the lad has grown up dull, never made any headway at school. He is a labourer, and twenty years of age, and will never be anything else but a labourer, because, as his mother says, he has no “head-piece,” and cannot do a simple sum in arithmetic to save his life. The mother firmly believes her children would have been as bright as anybody’s could she have had proper nourishment during pregnancy, and herself cared for them after they were born. Her girl of sixteen is deaf in one ear, and has weak eyes, the after-effects of measles when a child. The mother nursed this child a fortnight, then was obliged to leave her with a neighbour while she went out to work. The neighbour neglected the child in letting her run out too soon, etc., and as there were no school clinics when her children went to school, some of them are suffering to-day from diseases which might have been cured, could they have had attention at the proper time. Now that they are grown up they seem fairly healthy, though undersized, but when one considers their childhood, the want of sufficient food, lack of fresh air (the younger ones always slept four in bed, two at the top and two at the bottom), one wonders they are as healthy as they appear to be. They seem to be fairly good workers, but not one good scholar among them. And to add to the above discomforts, they had a drunken, brutal father. He was never a real father, a surly, gloomy man, never a kind word for his children, and not one of them remembers a caress from him. I can quite understand the woman being ashamed of bearing thirteen children to a man like him, and having to rear them in surroundings and conditions which she has reared hers. It takes it out of the mother mentally and physically.
Wages 16s. to 30s.; thirteen children.