114. “No Rest for Mothers, Night or Day.”
I remember it was a very big struggle to get all that was quite necessary for ourselves and the expected baby. Although my experience was far before thousands of others—should I say, women, when I was only just turned eighteen?
In the first place, I felt a doctor would be too expensive, so only had a midwife. Things were not just right with baby, so I had to call in a doctor and pay £1 5s. My nurse I only engaged for a fortnight, then thought I could manage, but I took cold, and had a most awful gathered breast, and had to go back to bed again for another week or two. When my baby was five months old I began to turn against my food; was nursing baby at the time, so did not think for one moment I could be pregnant again, but it was so. When the second one came, the first was unable to walk, I can assure you. You need not wonder at women doing all they can to prevent having big families, for there is certainly no rest for mothers night or day.
I can tell you I saw but very little pleasure the first part of my married life. I married in 1884. I had two children, lost one, and lost my husband by consumption in June, 1887. He needed the best of everything. It used to cost nearly 5s. per week for one sort of medicine he felt did him good, so you see there was very little to do with. I was only twenty-two when he died. I believe now, when I think about it, my baby could have been spared had I had more experience; although I did my best and was a good mother, as far as lay in my power, but there was no one to advise me. So you can imagine ours was one continual struggle from beginning to end, and then not so bad as many others. When I look back on that time I feel very sad. I believe my husband was in receipt of £1 5s. per week, but I am not quite sure; he was a policeman, so it was regular, and of course not many clothes to buy. Living in a village, our rent was small. This will, I am afraid, be little to assist you, but it is all I can tell you. It would not be possible to tell you all one feels with one baby and the expected one, and all work to do. No one could imagine who has never been through it.
Wages 25s.; two children.