48. “A Time of Horror.”
My two last babies came to me in troublous times, the boy, four years since, when my husband (through being too prosperous and false friends) gave way to drink, although he never tried to strike me, or any of the outward cruelty that I know many wives have to contend with; but it was so different to what I had been used to, and three months before the baby came, I was practically an invalid. Up till dinner I could manage to get about, but after dinner I had to lie or sit as best I could. I could not get on nine in men’s shoes, my feet swelled up so, and every night my hands were in agonies; the only relief I got was when I used to hammer them on the wall, to try and take the awful dumb pain out of them. Then when I started in labour, I was in it from eleven o’clock on the night of Thursday, the 17th of February till Saturday, the 19th, at 10 a.m. The waters broke at eleven o’clock on Thursday night, and baby came at ten o’clock on Saturday. The doctor had to put it back, as it was not coming naturally. Of course, I had chloroform; indeed, I had it with all my seven children, except two, as I have always such long and terrible labours, although I am a big woman—5 feet 8 inches, and I weigh over 13½ stone. I flooded with two. By the way, I am never able to get up under three weeks after confinement, as I always start to flood directly I make any movement, and I have to keep my nurse from five to seven weeks after. I always have terribly sore breasts, although the doctor treats them three months beforehand, but it makes no difference. My last confinement was worst, as I found, five months before baby was born, that my husband was having an immoral going-on. The shock was so great, I could not speak when first I heard it. A cold shiver went over me, and my body seemed to go together in a hard lump. I was never right after, till she came. Indeed, I was never right till my operation last October. I always had a weary bearing-down pain in my body all the time I was carrying babies, and suffer a great deal in my back. I never had morning sickness with any of them, and not one varicose vein, I am so thankful to say. And yet I know many women who can go right up to a few hours before, and then tell me they think nothing about it, while to me it is like a time of horror from beginning to end. I suppose we are differently made, somehow.
My husband earned 6d. an hour, and some of the summer months he worked overtime at the same rate of wages. What he earned overtime we always put in the Post Office, and what else we could spare towards the long winter months, as many times we started short time in August, which did not bring in very much. Then we were very lucky if we were getting 10s. a week at Christmas-time, but it used to be oftener nothing for weeks before Christmas. But we never went into debt. What we could not pay for we did without, and I can assure you I have told my husband many times that I had had my dinner before he came in, so as there should be plenty to go round for the children and himself, but he found me out somehow, and so that was stopped, although I had been many times only half filled, and I am glad to say during the worst of the pinch time I was not pregnant.
Seven children and three miscarriages.