98. “I Simply Struggled On.”
I have had two children. I never was so well in my life as I was during pregnancy over my first. A bearing-down caused hæmorrhoids. However, I was not troubled greatly with them then. My second child was born one year and seven months afterwards. Now all the time during pregnancy over him I was thoroughly ill. My work was a trouble, and altogether I was ill. But as pregnancy is never thought a sufficient cause for even having a holiday, I simply struggled on for fear of being held up to ridicule. You see, I was only twenty-two years old then, and thought that the only way to do was to show a brave front, even though I felt almost too ill to do anything. Well, I had to have chloroform, and again I had to have instruments; and my children would never be born naturally, for my womb is in the wrong place, the doctor says. I had also a trained nurse who despaired again of my life.
I was in bed one month for maternity and was unable to do my work even when I did get up. I could not mother either of my children, for I never had any milk. That was a grief to me. I had hæmorrhoids again through bearing down, brought on through pregnancy, and from these I suffered for three years and doctored for them. Then I had an operation and had them removed. I have not had more children, neither do I want them, as the doctor fears my life will pay the forfeit. I had a serious operation for tumour in the womb four years ago, and have been much better in health ever since.
Two children.