AN IRISH LOVE-LETTER.

A SCENE FROM GEORGE M. BAKER'S NEW PLAY (FOR FEMALE CHARACTERS ONLY) IN THREE ACTS, ENTITLED "REBECCA'S TRIUMPH."

Characters: Katy, an Irish servant, Gyp, a colored girl; Dora, a young lady.

(Enter Katy, with a letter in her hand.)

Katy (turning letter over and over). An' sure I got a love-lether frum Patsy; an' phat will I do wid it I dunno. I can't rade, and the misthress is away wid the company girls. How will I find out phat's inside it? It's bothered I am intirely.

(Enter from L., through C. door, Dora.)

Dora. Ah, Katy! Is it ther yees are? Where's Mrs. Delaine's shawl? I see it. (Goes towards window R.)

Katy. If yees plase, Miss Dora, might I be after troubling yees?

Dora (comes down). Certainly, Katy. What's the trouble?

Katy. If yees plase, I have a lether.

Dora. From the ould counthry?

Katy. No, indade: it's from—it's from—sure you'll be afther laughin' if I tole yees.

Dora. Then you needn't tell me, Katy; I can guess. It's a love-letter.

Katy. An' who towld yees that?

Dora. Yourself, Katy, by the blushes on your cheeks and the sparkle in your eyes. You want me to read it for you?

Katy. If yees plase, Miss Dora. (Hands letter.)

Dora (opening letter). I shall learn all your secrets, Katy. Perhaps the young man would not like that.

Katy. Thin yees moight shkip the sacrets.

Dora (laughs). All right, Katy. (Reads.) "Lovely Katy."

Katy. That's me. Sure that's no sacret.

Dora (reads). "I take me pin in hand wid a bating heart, to till yees uv the sthrong wakeniss I have for yees."

Katy. Yees moight shkip that.

Dora (reads). "I have nather ate, dhrunk, nor slipt, for a wake."

Katy. Will, that jist accounts for the wakeniss.

Dora (reads). "Barrin' my thray males a day, an 'me pipe an' tobacyer."

Katy. An' he wid the hearty appetite!

Dora (reads). "An' all me slapeliss nights are fill wid drames of yees, Katy mavourneen."

Katy. Sure he's the darlin'.

Dora (reads). "I have yees phortygraff nailed to the hid uv me bid; and ivery night, afther I've blown out the candle wid me fingers, I tak a good look at it, an' if ye'll belave me, there's not a dry thread in me eyes."

Katy. Sure he was alwus tinder-hearted.

Dora (reads). "If yees don't belave me, tak a good look at yees own face before yees open the lether, and see if I have not cause to wape."

Katy. Sure I ought to have known that before the lether came.

Dora (reads). "If yees foind these tinder loins blotted wid tears, it's all owing to the bad quality uv the ink, which has compilled me to pin this wid a pincil."

Katy. That's no mather.

Dora (reads). "If yees don't recave this lether, or can't rade it, niver moind: ye'll know that all that's in it is the truth, an' nades nather radin' or writin' to till the same. So name the day, Katy darlin', whin me single blissidniss is to exphire, an' the mathrimoonial noose shlipped over the hid of yees lovin' and consolin'

Patsy Dolan.

"P.S.—These last lines are the poethry uv love.

"Second P.S.—To be rid fhirst. I inclose a ring for yees finger, which same yees will find in me nixt lether." That's all, Katy. (Hands back letter.)

Katy. It's jist illigant. I'm obleeged to yees.

Dora (takes shawl from chair). Quite welcome, Katy. When you get ready to name the day, I'll answer it for you. But be quick, Katy; for the poor fellow will not live long on "only his thray males a day, an' his pipe an' tobacyer." (Runs off C. to L.)

Katy (looks at letter). Sure it's a darlin' lether, an' Patsy Dolan's a broth uv a bye.

Enter R., Gyp.

Gyp. Ah, dar you is, Katy! Whar's de misses? Whar's Miss Becky? Whar's eberybody?

Katy. In the garden, sure. Yees may coom in, if yees wipe yers fate.

Gyp. Yas, indeed! How yer was? And how's Patsy Dolan?

Katy. He's will. I've jist recaved a lether from him.

Gyp. Dat so? Dat's good! Lub-letters am bery consolin' to de flutterin' heart. Got a letter, hab you? S'pose you red it frough and frough.

Katy. Sure I can't rade at all, at all.

Gyp. Dat so? Well, well! De ignoramance ob de foreign poperlation am distressin'.

Katy. Can you rade?

Gyp. Read? What you take me for? How else could I debour de heaps and heaps ob lub-letters dat I constantly receibe from my adorers?

Katy (Aside.) Faith, I'd loike to hear Patsy's lether again. (Aloud.) Thin plase rade this for me. (Hands letter.)

Gyp (confused). Wh-wh-what you take me fur? (Aside.) Golly! she cotch me den. (Aloud.) No, chile: dose tender confections am fur you alone, and dey shouldn't be composed to de world.

Katy. An' sure yees can't rade.

Gyp. What's that? Can't read? (Takes letter, and turns it round several times.) Berry long letter. Want to hear it all?

Katy. Ivery word.

Gyp (Aside.) Mussn't gib in. Spec dase all alike. (Aloud.) Ob course, ob course. (Pretends to read.) "Lubliest ob your sexes."

Katy. Sure that's not there.

Gyp (shows letter). See fur yerself, see fur yerself.

Katy. Go on wid the lether.

Gyp. "Sublimest ob de fair sexes, dis am a whale ob tears. Dar ain't no sunshine of moonshine widout you."

Katy. That's not thrue at all, at all.

Gyp (shows letter). Read it yerself, read yerself.

Katy. Go on wid the lether.

Gyp. "De moon on de lake am beamin', de lubly sunflower perfumeries in de garden, de tuneful frogs meliferously warble in de riber, an' de breezes blow fro' de treeses; but my lub, my lub, whar, oh, whar am she?"

Katy. I don't belave—

Gyp (as before). See fur yerself, see fur yerself!

Katy. Oh, quit yees talkin' an' talkin'. Go on wid the lether.

Gyp. "My lub she isn't hansum,
My lub she isn't fair;
But to cook de beef and 'taters
Can't beat her anywhar."

Dat's potry, Katy, dat is; alwus find lots ob dat in lub-letters: it gibs dem a flabor.

Katy. I don't belave it's there.

Gyp (as before). See fur yerself, see fur yerself!

Katy. Go on wid the lether.

Gyp. Luf me see, wha was I? "Come rest on dis yere head your aching breast." Dey all got dat, Katy, an'—an' (aside), well, I'se jest puzzled fur more: guess we'll hab some more poetry (aloud) an'—an'—

"We'll dance all night till broad daylight,
An' go home with de girls in de morning."

Katy. It's no such thing! Yer desavin' me, so yees are! Me Patsy wouldn't go home wid the girls at all, at all.

Gyp. See fur yerself, see fur yerself!

Katy (snatching letter). So I will. It's false and desateful yees are, for Miss Dora rid the lether, an'—an'—it was jist illegant, so it was an' it's yersilf.—bad luck to the loikes ov yees, whin yees can't rade! an' it's the blissid troth I'm tillin',—invintin' a bit uv blarney to make trouble betwane a poor girl an' her Patsy. Away wid yees!

[Exit door R.

Gyp. Well, I guess she fooled me dat time. No use. Dar's alwus trubble interferin' in lub affairs, jest like domestic affairs: when man and wife am fighting, ef you try to be a messenger ob peace, ef you don't look out, you'll git de broomstick onto yer own head.

[Exit.

YANKEE DIALECT RECITATIONS.

Edited by GEORGE M. BAKER.

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PAGE
Goin' SomewhereM. Quod5
Old Farmer Grey Gets PhotographedJohn H. Yates8
Speech of the Hon. Perverse Peabody on the Acquisition of Cuba10
Widder Green's Last Words13
Widow Stebbins on HomœopathyC. F. Adams14
Farmer Bent's Sheep-Washing16
The Little Peach17
Mr. Pickwick's Romantic Adventure with a Middle-aged Lady in Yellow Curl-PapersDickens18
Goin' Home To-dayW. M. Carleton24
Jakie on Watermelon Pickle25
Putty and VarnishJosh Billings26
London Zoölogical Gardens28
Aurelia's Unfortunate Young ManMark Twain29
The Old Ways and the NewJohn H. Yates31
The Bumpkin's Courtship33
The Ballad of the OystermanOliver Wendell Holmes35
The Deck Hand and the Mule36
A Lay of Real LifeThomas Hood37
Middlerib's Rheumatic CureR. J. Burdette39
Two FishersHarper's Weekly43
Jim Wolfe and the CatsMark Twain44
Mr. Stiver's HorseJ. M. Bailey46
MosquitoesKaleb Keating50
The City Man and the Setting Hen51
The Owl CriticJames T. Fields53
The Man with a Cold in His Head54
Forcible EntryJ. M. Bailey5?
The Village Sewing Society57
Yankee Courtship59
The Patter of the Shingle63
The Paper Don't Say64
The Jonesville Singin' QuireBetsey Bobbitt65
The Knife-GrinderGeorge Canning69
Malaria70
The Story of the Bad Little Boy who Didn't Come to GriefMark Twain72
Mr. Caudle and His Second WifeDouglas Jerrold75
Mollie or Sadie78
The Baffled Book Agent79
She Would Be a MasonJames C. Leighton80
The Loves of LucindaMark Melville83
Something Split87
From the Sublime to the Ridiculous88
A Howl in RomeBill Nye89
Butterwick's Weakness93
The Old Man Goes to TownJ. G. Swinnerton95
Mr. Watkins CelebratesDetroit Press98
The Squire's StoryJohn Phœnix99
The Conversion of Colonel QuaggGeorge Augustus Sala100
In the Surf105
Variegated DogsPeck107
Judge Pitman's WatchMax Adeler110
An Æsthetic Housekeeper111
"Mebbe" Joe's True Fish Story112
Aunt Sophronia Tabor at the Opera114
The Village ChoirAndre's Journal117
The Light From Over the Range118
The ChristeningE. T. Corbett121
Mr. Covill Proves MathematicsJ. M. Bailey123
Mary's Lamb on a New Principle124
Address of Spottycus125
Our Visitor, and What He Came For128
In the CatacombsH. H. Ballard130
The Showman's CourtshipA. Ward132
Clerical Wit134
Greely's RideMark Twain135
No Yearning for the BeautifulMax Adeler138
A Very Naughty Little Girl's View of Life141
Burdock's Goat142
Awfully Lovely Philosophy145
Aunt Parsons' StoryPresbyterian Journal146
The National Game151
A Disturbance in ChurchMax Adeler153
The Engineer's StoryEugene J. Hall155
The Judge's Search for a WaterfallHarper's Magazine156
The Railroad Crossing158
Asking the Gov'nor159
Intensely UtterAlbany Chronicle162
The Way Astors Are MadeJ. M. Bailey164
A Mysterious DisappearanceDickens166

THE GRAND ARMY SPEAKER.

Edited by GEORGE M. BAKER.

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PAGE
The RescueJohn Brownjohn5
DecorationT. W. Higginson8
The Little Black-eyed RebelWill Carleton9
The Palmetto and the PineMrs. Virginia L. French11
Battle HymnKorner13
The Song of the Dying14
By the Alma RiverMiss Mulock15
At the Soldiers' GravesRobert Collyer17
The Sergeant of the Fiftieth18
The Minute-men of '75George William Curtis19
Blue and Gray21
Custer's Last ChargeFrederick Whittaker23
The Pride of Battery BF. H. Gassaway25
The Cavalry ChargeF. A. Durivage27
The Last Redoubt28
Kelly's FerryBenjamin F. Taylor30
Noble Revenge34
Civil WarAnonymous35
"Dashing Rod," TrooperS. Conant Foster36
The Tramp of ShilohJoaquin Miller38
The Sharpshooter's MissFrank H. Gassaway40
The Fight at LookoutR. L. Cary, jun.44
The Countersign was "Mary"Margaret Eytinge46
A Second Review of the Grand ArmyBret Harte47
The Bivouac of the Dead49
The TrampGeorge M. Baker52
The Canteen55
The Charge by the Ford56
Harry BrandonEdmund E. Price58
Post Number ThreeSherman D. Richardson59
The Patriot SpyF. M. Finch62
The Dandy FifthFrank H. Gassaway63
The American FlagJoseph Rodman Drake66
Somebody's DarlingAnonymous68
"Little Potter's" Story69
The Bravest Boy in TownEmma Huntington Nason71
Our FolksEthel Lynn74
"Picciola"76
"Fall in"Mary Clemmer78
"The Boys who Never Got Home"George W. Peck79
Abraham Lincoln and the Poor Woman80
Elizabeth ZaneJohn S. Adams82
Keenan's Charge84
The Old Canteen86
Mobile Bay88
Ravenswood's OathA. Wallace Thaxter90
The Story of the SwordsAdelaide Cilley Waldron91
"Only a Crippled Soldier!"J. Russell Fisher93
Somebody's PrideClement Scott97
My Wife and ChildHenry Rootes Jackson98
The Song of the DrumI. E. Diekenga99
"Bay Billy"Frank H. Gassaway102
Sheridan's Ride106
"Them Yankee Blankits"Samuel W. Small108
The Soldiers' MonumentJohn L. Swift110
The Crutch in the CornerJohn McIntosh112
Roll-call113
The Cruise of the MonitorGeorge M. Baker115
Missing117
Decoration DayMary Bassett Hussey118
Back from the WarT. De Witt Talmage120
A Piece of BuntingHon. F. W. Palmer121
Grant's StrategyJudge Veazey123
The Charge at Valley Maloy124
The Hero-womanGeorge Lippard126
Union of Blue and GrayPaul H. Hayne130
After "Taps"Horace Binney Sargent131
The Soldier's ReprieveRosa Hartwick Thorpe133
At ArlingtonJames R. Randall135
The Man with the MusketH. S. Taylor137
A Baby PeacemakerHerbert W. Collingwood138
The VeteransGeneral Sherman141
Barbara FrietchieWhittier142
What Saved the Union144
Re-enlistedLucy Larcom145
The Soldier's DreamC. G. Fall147

IRISH DIALECT RECITATIONS.

Edited by GEORGE M. BAKER.

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PAGE
How Teddy Saved His Bacon5
Mr. O'Hoolahan's Mistake7
The Last of the Sarpints9
The Irish Boy and the Priest11
An Irish Wake12
Biddy's PhilosophyR. H. Stoddard14
Reflections on the NeedleCormac O'Leary15
The Red O'NeilThomas S. Collier16
Deaf and DumbAnna F. Burnham20
Mr. Murphy Explains His Son's Conduct21
A Ram for Ould Oireland22
The GridironWilliam B. Fowle23
The "O'Meara Consolidated"Va. City Enterprise26
Paddy's MetamorphosisMoore28
The Widow O'Shane's Rent29
Why Biddy and Pat Got Married30
Don Squixet's GhostHarry Bolingbroke31
Mr. O'Gallagher's Three Roads to LearningCaptain Marryat33
Two Irish IdylsAlfred Perceval Graves37
The Broken Pitcher39
Paddy's ExcelsiorHarper's Magazine40
The Irish Philosopher41
Mary Maloney's PhilosophyPhiladelphia Bulletin42
Bridget McRae's Wedding AnniversaryNina Gray44
Paddy O'RaftherSamuel Lover45
Pat's Reason47
O'Branigan's DrillW. W. Fink47
Pat and the Pig48
Pat and the Oysters50
A PenitentMargaret Eytinge51
Mike McGaffaty's DogMark Melville51
Jimmy Butler and the Owl53
Tipperary56
Pat's Dream of Heaven58
Biddy's Troubles61
Make It Four, Yer Honor62
The Post-BoyMrs C. J. Despard64
That Fire at the Nolans'Life67
Ninety-Eight70
Pat's BondsmanLilian A. Moulton71
Washee, WasheeJoaquin Miller73
Annie's Ticket74
O'ThelloHarper's Magazine76
Lanty LearySamuel Lover77
Katie's Answer78
Paddy's Dream79
Lessons in CookeryDetroit Free Press80
The Irish Traveller82
Teddy's Six Bulls82
A MiracleCharles H. Webber84
Pat and Miss SkittyBessie Bently84
At the Rising of the MoonLeo Casey86
The Irish Schoolmaster87
How Dennis Took the Pledge89
When McGue Puts the Baby to Sleep90
The ConfessionSamuel Lover91
Father Phil's CollectionSamuel Lover92
St. Patrick's Martyrs100
Pat's CorrespondenceW. M. Giffin102
Little Pat and the Parson104
Patrick O'Rouke and the FrogsGeorge W. Bungay105
Widow MaloneCharles Lever108
The Birth of St. PatrickSamuel Lover109
Murphy's Mystery of the Pork Barrel110
Paddy Blake's EchoSamuel Lover111
A Cook of the Period112
Larry's on the ForceIrwin Russell113
Pat and the FrogsR. M. T.114
Paddy's CourtingW. A. Eaton116
A Bit of GossipJosephine Pollard118
Paddy and His Pig120
Teddy McGuire and Paddy O'FlynnAmanda T. Jones121
Paudeen O'Rafferty's Say-Voyage125
Irish AstronomyCharles G. Halpine128
Paddy McGrath's Introduction to Mr. Bruin129
Larrie O'DeeW. W. Fink131
Irish Coquetry132


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