IN DER SHWEED LONG AGO.
In der shweed long ago I dinked I vas shmard,
Und I dinked I did vant me a vife
To share all my money und sorrows und joys,
Und to helb me along drough my life.
I vanted a lady kind-hearted und goot,
Dot vas handsome und sensiple doo,
Dot cood blay der biano or cook a beefshdeak,
Darn my shdockings or made me a shdew.
She must nod be doo shmall-seized or neider doo dall,
Und she musn'd be old or doo young,
Und ven I vas shboking had visdom enuff
To alwoys kebd quied her tongue.
She musd nod be doo dark or agin be doo lighd—
A kinder bedwixed und bedween;
She musd nod knew doo leedle, or vorse, knew it all,
Or be vat some beebles call "creen."
She musd be good-nadured, vear always a shmile,
No madder of dings did vent wrong;
Ven my friends came around for to make me a call,
Be ready to sung dem a song.
Of der lodge bisness habben'd to kebd me oud lade,
Und I come valdzing home "dighdly-shlighd,"
She musd pet und caress me, und dank her good shdars
Dot I didn'd shdaid apsend all nighd.
In a vord, be berfecd—mind, feature, und form—
From her feet to der crown of her head.
Now, dot vas der damsel dot I had in view,
Und der von I vas villing to ved.
Dot's a long dime ago, and my head dot vas pald,
And I vas a pachelor shdill.
My gal, I hafe nefer saw shkibbing round loose—
Vat's more, I don'd dink dot I vill.
Oofty Gooft.