HENLEY REGATTA
By Jingle Junior on the Jaunt
All right — here we are — quite the waterman — jolly — young — white flannels — straw hat — canvas shoes — umbrella — mackintosh — provide against a rainy day! Finest reach for rowing in England — best regatta in the Eastern Hemisphere — finest pic-nic in the world! Gorgeous barges — palatial houseboats — superb steam-launches — skiffs — randans — punts — wherries — sailing-boats — dinghies — canoes! Red Lion crammed from cellar to garret — not a bed to be had in the town — comfortable trees all booked a fortnight in advance — well-aired meadows at a premium! Lion Gardens crammed with gay toilettes — Grand Stand like a flower-show — band inspiriting — church-bells distracting — sober grey old bridge crammed with carriages — towing-path blocked up with spectators — meadows alive with pic-nic parties! Flags flying everywhere — music — singers — niggers — conjurers — fortune-tellers! Brilliant liveries of rowing clubs — red — blue — yellow — green — purple — black — white — all jumbled up together — rainbow gone mad — kaleidoscope with delirium tremens. Henley hospitality proverbial — invitation to sixteen luncheons — accept 'em all — go to none! Find myself at luncheon where I've not been asked — good plan — others in reserve! Wet or fine — rain or shine — must be at Henley! If fine, row about all day — pretty girls — bright dresses — gay sunshades. If wet, drop in at hospitable houseboat just for a call — delightful damsels — mackintoshes — umbrellas! Houseboat like Ark — all in couples — Joan of Ark in corner with Darby — Who is she? — Don't No-ah — pun effect of cup. Luncheons going on all day — cups various continually circulating — fine view — lots of fun — delightful, very! People roaring — rowists howling along bank — lot of young men with red oars in boat over-exerting themselves — lot more in boat with blue oars, also over-exerting themselves — bravo! — pick her up! — let her have it! — well pulled — everybody gone raving mad! Bang! young men leave off over-exerting themselves — somebody says somebody has won something. Seems to have been a race about something — why can't they row quietly? Pass the claret-cup, please — Why do they want to interrupt our luncheon? — Eh?
