THE LOST CHANCE
New Maidservant (much pleased with herself). A gentleman called to see you, sir, and said as he were just leavin' town for some time. Knowin' as you didn't want to be disturbed this morning, I told him as you was hout—
"A PAGE DRAWING"
Master. Quite right. (To himself) Sharp girl this!
New Maid (cheerfully)—and told him as I didn't know when you'd be back again. 'Is card's in the 'all, sir. He 'ave wrote somethin' on it.
[She fetches it, returns, and presents it.
SNUBBING
He. "Sorry I forgot your party the other evening!"
She. "Oh, weren't you there?"
Master (reads writing on card, then suddenly springing up, exclaims) Oh—(stops the escape of a very strong expletive)—How long ago?
New Maid (cheerfully). Oh, quite a hour. There was luggidge on the cab.
Master (subsiding hopelessly in chair, to Maid). You can go. (Alone, grinding his teeth.) Confound the idiot! (Reads card muttering to himself.) Snooker Poole, Chork Cottage, Kew. "Called to repay coin personally. Sorry to miss you. So long!" I shall never see my hundred and fifty again!... That's the worst of new servants!
[He is left considering whether it would not be as well to alter the form of his instructions to the hand-maiden. Scene closes.
The Boastfulness of Belinda.—Arabella (concluding the description of the magnificence of her employer's home). And in the servants' 'all we 'as 'ot plovers' heggs ev'ry mornin' for brekfist.
Belinda. That's nothin'. At hour 'ouse hall the fires is laid with reel sparrow-grass sticks instead of wood!
[Arabella dries up.
Inexperienced and anxious Young Mistress. "The new housemaid, Maria, is a Roman Catholic but I hope you will not allow any religious controversy in the servants' hall."
Cook (with much dignity). "You needn't have any fear, my lady. In really 'igh class families religion is never mentioned!"