CHURCH THEATRES FOR COUNTRY VILLAGES—THE BLAMELESS BALLET
["Mr. Chamberlain has expressed himself in sympathy with the scheme of the Rev. Forbes Phillips for running theatres in connection with the churches in country villages.">[
There would, our artist imagines, be no difficulty in obtaining willing coryphées among the pew-openers and philanthropic spinsters of the various parishes.
Mr. M'Chrustie (in the washing-room of the Minerva Club). "Look here, waiter, what's the meaning of this? These brushes are as beastly grimy as if they'd been blacking boots——!" Waiter. "Yes, sir: it's them members from the 'Junior Theshpian,' sir—as are 'ere now, sir. They do dye theirselves to that degree——!"
[Mr. M'C. rushes off and writes furiously to the Committee!
Q. What were the "palmy" days of the drama?
A. When they were first-rate hands at acting.
Motto for all Dramatic Performers.—"Act well your part."
A Band-Box.—An orchestra.
"What an awful voice that man's got!" said the manager, who was listening to the throaty tenor.
"Call that a voice," said his friend; "it's a disease!"
A Private Box.—A sentry box.
"You can't sit there, mum. These here seats are reserved."
"You don't seem to be aware that I'm one of the directors' wives!"
"And if you was his only wife, mum, I couldn't let you sit here."
During the dull season a certain manager has issued such a number of his autographs in order to ensure the proper filling of his house that he has in playfulness conferred on it the nickname of the ordertorium.
What Managers, Actresses, and Spectators all Want.—A good dressing.
Christmas Music for Theatres.—The "waits" between the acts.
What we want for the British drama generally is not so much native talent as imagi-native talent.
At the Music Halls.—The birds that fly by night—the acro-bats.
