WAKE UP, ENGLAND!
["British lady motor-drivers," says Motoring Illustrated, "must look to their laurels. Miss Rosamund Dixey, of Boston, U.S.A., invariably has her sweet, pet, fat, white pig sitting up beside her in the front of her motor car.">[
We are losing our great reputation
Our women are not up-to-date;
For a younger, more go-a-head nation
Has beaten us badly of late;
Is there nowhere some fair Englishwoman
Who'd think it not too infra dig.
To be seen with (and treat it as human)
A sweet—pet—fat—white—pig?
There is no need to copy our Cousins,
A visit or two to the Zoo
Will convince you there must be some dozens
Of animal pets that would do,
With a "grizzly" perched up in your motor,
Just think how the people would stare,
Saying, "Is that a man in a coat or
A big—grey—tame—he—bear?"
Think how chic it would look in the paper
(Society's Doings, we'll say),
"Mrs. So-and-so drove with her tapir,
And daughter (the tapir's) to-day.
Mrs. Thingummy too and her sister
Drove out for an hour and a half,
And beside them (the image of Mr.)
A dear—wee—pink—pet—calf!"
"Did you get his number?"
"No; but I saw exactly what she was wearing and how much she paid for the things!"