THE MATERNAL INSTINCT

The Master. "I'm sayin', wumman, ha'e ye gotten the tickets?"

The Mistress. "Tuts, haud your tongue aboot tickets. Let me count the weans!"

The Irrepressible. "Hi, Scotty, tip us the 'Ighland fling."

Tipped!

Return of the wounded and missing Popplewitz omitted to send in after his day on the moors.