“LAUGHTER IN COURT”
“Mr. Pickwick envied the facility with which Mr. Peter Magnus’ friends were amused.”—Dickens.
Scene—Any Court. Time—Any Trial.
Q. C. What sort of a night was it?
Witness. It was dark. (Laughter.)
Judge. My learned friend hardly expected the night to be light, I should think. (Laughter.)
Junior. Perhaps m’lud, the learned counsel was thinking of a nightlight. (Roars of laughter.)
Q. C. Well, we’ll take it that it was a dark night. You went out for a stroll?
Witness. No, I went for a walk.
Judge. At any rate the witness was walking about.
Witness. No, my lord, I wasn’t walking a “bout.” I was walking fast. (Great Laughter.)
Q. C. You were walking fast. Now did you see anything?
Witness. I saw the prisoner.
Q. C. Well, tell us what he was doing.
Witness. He was doing nothing. (Laughter.)
Judge. How did he do it? (Renewed Laughter.)
Witness. Very busily, my lord. (Laughter.)
Junior. Like a briefless barrister, m’lud. (Roars of laughter.)
Q. C. Did he continue to do nothing long?
Witness. No; he soon seemed to get tired of it.
Q. C. What did he do then?
Witness. He went into a public-house.
Q. C. What for?
Judge. What does my learned friend go into a public-house for? (Great Laughter.)
Q. C. Will you answer my question?
Witness. He went for some rum-shrub.
Q. C. (proud of his acquaintance with slang, and with a knowing look towards the Junior Bar). It was a very “rum plant” the prisoner was engaged on.
[Shrieks of laughter, during which the Court rose, being too convulsed to transact any further business.
NOTHING LIKE LOGIC
(An echo of the Tichborne case)
Orton Demonstrator. “I don’ care whether he’s Orton or Tishbo’n or Cashtr’ or who he is, bu’ I don’ like t’ see a po’r man kep’ out of ’s prop’ty!!”
Second Orton Demonstrator. “Jesh sho!”
[They retire to refresh.
No Costs.—If you want to enjoy the luxury of law for nothing, all you have to do is to prosecute an inquiry.
THE LAST SELL
“Oh sir, please sir, is this Chancery Lane!”
“It is.”
“Ah! I knowed it was!”
“Then why did you ask?”
“’Cos I wanted to have counsel’s opinion!”