THE JOLLY YOUNG BARRISTER
And did you not hear of a jolly young barrister,
At the Old Bailey who used for to ply?
He made out his case with such skill and dexterity,
Twisting each fact, while he glozed o’er each lie.
He stuck at nothing; and that so steadily,
The felons all sought his aid so readily,
And he saved from conviction so many a thief,
That this barrister ne’er was in want of a brief.
What sights of fine rogues he got off by his blarney;
His tongue was so glib, and so specious withal,
He was always retained by the great City forgers
To Newgate from Mansion House sent, or Guildhall.
And often the Press would be gibing and jeering,
But ’twas all one to him, its carping and sneering;
He’d swear black was white in behalf of a thief,
So this barrister ne’er was in want of a brief.
And yet, only think what strange morals have lawyers,
The bar of such conduct think nothing at all;
Whilst should any poor counsel report for a paper,
“To Coventry with him!” that instant they call;
From their mess they’ll expel him, he’ll find, to his sorrow;
But they’ll dine with the housebreaker’s hireling to-morrow!
Then hurrah!—though his client be swindler or thief,—
For the barrister never in want of a brief.
Song for Detectives.—“Let us speak of a man when we find him.”
“Linked Sweetness long Drawn out.”—Country Lass (to policeman who takes them over the road at Oxford Street Circus). “I’m so much obliged to you for taking the trouble——”
Gallant Constable. “Lor’ bless yer, miss, I wish the crossin’ was twice as long!”