AT THE SERVICE OF THE SERVICE
(A Forecast of the Future)
Scene.—A lecture-chamber at a military college. Lecturer discovered behind a table. Students taking notes.
Lecturer. I have now shown you a colonel and a major. I will disappear for a few seconds, and then appear as a captain.
[Dives under his table.
First Student. What's the lecture about? I got in too late for the beginning.
Second Student. It's on "the Militia."
Lecturer (emerging from his table in fresh regimentals.) Now, my men, you must regard me as your friend as well as your commander. I am responsible for your well-being. (Applause, amidst which the Lecturer resumes his ordinary clothing.) And now, gentlemen, it is unnecessary to give you a sketch of a subaltern, as that genus of the army officer must be known to all of you. And before I go I would be glad to answer any questions.
First Student. Thank you, sir. May I ask why you have been giving this interesting entertainment?
Lecturer. Certainly. To show you, gentlemen, your duty in the Militia. You will be expected to play many parts.
First Student. But surely not simultaneously?
Lecturer. Why, certainly. The old constitutional force is so undermanned in the commissioned ranks, that if the youngest subaltern of a battalion cannot do equally well for colonel, major and captain, the chances are that—well, I would be sorry to answer for the consequences. And now, gentlemen, we will consider how a ballot for soldiering can be established without seriously affecting the cherished rights of the civilian.
[Scene closes upon an unsuccessful attempt to solve the problem.
Captain Smythe (a good soldier, but no society man, to his hostess). "I have to thank you, Mrs. Brown, for an evening which has been—er—after two years on the veld, most enjoyable."
