Euphemistic.
Colonel. "I've never met with a smarter drill than yourself, sergeant, or one more thoroughly up to all his duties; but you've one most objectionable habit, and that is your constant use of bad language, and swearing at the men."
Sergeant. "Sir, perhaps I am a little sarcashtic!"
H.M.S. OBESITY; OR, WHAT OUR SAILORS ARE COMING TO
First A.B. "Oh lor, Bill, my big toe!—f-f-f—it's something horful this morning." (Distant whistle.) "Oh yus, that's right! Pipe away! I see hus a clearin' decks for haction, don't you, Bill?"
Second A.B. "No fear! Phew-f-f-f. 'Ere, oh I say, mate, pass us the bicarbonick o' potass, for 'evin's sake!"
["The sailor is allowed 60 ounces of moist food per day, and this is of the wrong kind for a fighting man. This he eats at five different meals. He has about three times as much bread as he should have, and about half as much meat. It is a splendid diet to induce obesity, gout, and laziness."—Dr. Yorke Davies in the "Daily Telegraph."]
Mrs. Ramsbotham tells us her youngest nephew has just become a midshipman in the Royal Navy, and she has given him one of the best aromatic telescopes that could be bought for money.
The Best Upholder of the Union Jack.—The Union Jack Tar.